Window of Awesometunity

Toldja I’d do this! How I’ve wasted more of my Sunday. My arm is burning from colouring this and you can see how impatient I am. Look I have Louboutins and I added my nipple for the super fans. Hope you’re enjoying your Sunday Fundays it’s your turn to colour now (and do better). Also here’s one of few reasons why I love PC’s: Paint! If you find funny or dirty (or both) colouring book pictures to colour in send them to me or link in the vomments. LOVE YOU LONG TIME!

Smell ya later.

What’s crappening!?

An instance of second place being first place, against Jonathan, who came in dead last. Then once I mastered the art of blowing shit up while racing it was pretty magnificent. The girls played too. Jules liked Street Fighter better.

Oh great a shittier version of the other picture and the same stupid pose too but this time with glasses (I keeps it Full Metal Jacket). Me so cute. Life feels like war sometimes so wearing an army helmet felt natural. My grandfather was in WWII in intelligence. He bombed Nazis. HOLLA! Also, holla at me jew boys heeheh I think that gets me some challah for life. ‘spect.

Ferry wharf obvs.

Scooby Doo.

I asked turtleneck if he was wearing a turtleneck because he’s better than everybody else then we said “it’s pretentious” at the same time then I said I like it. Hanging out with younger dudes and sass mouthin’ ‘em is kind of my bag. This other kid is dressed as Conrad Black allegedly and is un-allegedly doing the international sign for a BJ.

They call me the murderer.

Dreams really do come true.

I have had a thing for JCVD since Universal Soldier. My brother and I used to say MY NAME IS SERGEANT ANDREW SCOTT (bad guy soldier and JCVD’s nemesis) now how much hotter did I just get for saying all of that?

His accent really is somethin’ else like the guy just can’t even say words without adding an ‘h’ sound here, extra syl-Labble there, it’s the frenchy way.

The most ridiculous drinks ever after a couple you just give in. The vortex swallowed us up just like your mother, who also swallows. Pighead persona day yay!

Did you have fun Bechnique? Yes you did. After this we went to Supermarket and danced up a storm and now I am pledging to go dancing one night a week at least cos I love that shit and I am the best at it. I even breakdanced a little bit on the w/e too. On Friday. I impressed an entire crew of break-dancing dudes (just go with it ok this actually happened) and there’s evidence out there somewhere and that dancing lead to Supermarket’s inflated sense of self esteem groovin’ moves and the rest will be history. Yeah right I probably dance like Elaine.

She was shitty pretty™.

Get it right get it wrong i don’t care just get it.

There ya go. I wussed out on adding a black smear of makeup beneath each eye figuring I would regret it if we went elsewhere and based on how we were dancing and being encircled at SM Jules and I agreed that people would not be able to handle the army helmet so we made a pile of our purse jackets crap on the floor and danced around it by the back stairs and decided to not go in to the sweaty shit show back room cave but become our own dance circle hostesses for departing and entering drunken bros and hos. It was a great time right kids?

Remember that Beetle Bailey comic? How old is the youngest person who reads my blog? Do I even want to know that? I know the brands wanna know.

Caught a train back to city. I was not around for the Eaton Center shooting. I notice once the seasons change to spring a lot of cray shit happens in the world. Can’t people just be normal? Hugs not drugs people and if drugs avoid the zombie kinds.

My tank top turns in to stupid a Johhny Depp (sometimes Brad Pitt) hat. I just missed the downpour. It stopped by the time I hit Libville. I had a lot of interesting looks on the weekend because it rained and I did not pack for it properly at all. Bikinis and summer maxi dresses, not one hoodie or a proper jacket so I had to layer all these weird things together and I was unnerved by it. If you don’t got your gear together then your game ain’t gonna be right. I should just stick to a uniform life would be easier. Boringer. Albeit easier. I prefer difficulty. Doesn’t everybody? So stupid.

I had to show Bechnique what my hat looked like she was going to wait for me with roses at the station but then it started to pour. She was going to pick me a weed flower actually. It was going to be romantic. She waited for me at my place instead and gave me a blade of grass that she didn’t actually give or pick and that I did not take okay we get it. I dashed inside and changed for the Street Fighter party.

I need to update my ipod tunes.

Looks like night but is actually a glooming ominous cloud following some lightning. I am scared of lightning.

I liked my hair.

Needs a trim.

I look like Aslan.

I’m going to dye it again soon.

It’s true. Patio season rules.

See the layering? I even wore my rubber boots from wakestock they were in my mom’s trunk nice try Tracey get your own. Also thank you for all the clothes I’ll blog the gym pics next. I thought I looked like Russell Simmons in this over-sized hat like exactly haha.

My mom wore these on the boat on May 2-4 and I wanted my own pair so Lois got me a pair so cozy and vibrant. My mom’s feet popped like cray there is no way I am hanging out with you in those attention winning sandals and not have a pair on my own feet.

Oink oink baby. BBQ back bacon sandwich.

See how teeny I was before I hit the burbs, well as I hit it, then consumed all of it. And those pants hadn’t been broken in yet. I stay between 120-124lbs btw. On ultra skinny day-times I go to 118 and if I am being an asshole or wicked stressed 115. I am not pro-ana at all just sometimes I divulge this shit and girls wanna know so, there you go.

The bra is a little ridiculous I know. Teach picked it out for me one time in Burlington. I’d like to get some smaller ones so I am not lying my face off all the time with these big cans but what does it really matter anyway I don’t think I am any less pretty or more hot with or without a padded chest. I prefer to be flat I just didn’t have time to pack an alternative more modest bra after the Maestro video. I only wear the bra so the world can’t see my nips and these 3F shirts are see-through. My leopard print bra fits better under this shirt I think and I like the print that pokes out. Taking this ginger thing a little seriously much? Peach is a wickedly cosmetic tone, anything in the coral family, it just zaps life in to your appearance.

On our way to Yorkville for the Maestro video shoot.

I love looking at these, they make me happy, the bottles of polish too. I collect things and group them in assimilating colours.

These girls owe me a bottle! The flooding of Union Station was another reason why I stayed oot of town.

Right before our food came. Some people might recognize this bar.

Mmm brunch I’d love some brunch right meow. I will settle for a handful of spicy ketchup ruffles.

It’s never too early for burlesque. A surf rockabilly band competition was afoot it was a really funexpected time.

I had the egg white scramble wrap.

We caught the last act, Esther Deville I think.

Yeah budday!

Good move. Next Sunday there’ll be more burlesque brunch. It felt like being at a party, well, I guess it was but when your intent is just food then turns into a mimosa surf concert and entertainment, that sounds like a party. Plus I finally met Mysterion.

Gotta go!

Raymi the moocher

Sprinklin’ the world with love a heart sprinkles.

Dancin’ with the world…

Hi George!

Blowin’ kisses to the world. You know, just another day.

Shawn Hawaii is my homeboy. He bought me last year. Par-tay-Har-tay!

Shan you’re amazing thank you for helping me back in to my dress.

Hot times indeed.

Thank you Julio for the snaps. Okay fine I will put up the money shot one. In the future turn around while looking down. They totally wanna pop off I was twirlin’ them like cray. The girls in the bathroom loved watching me decide which pair of pasties to wear. That was a fun long party rock star night excellent!

Thank you bye bye! This one (above) makes my childhood teenage (chick) girl babysitter/family friend/mom’s friend want to convert. I don’t know how to feel about that. Superstar? I likes ta keep it NYC as much as can be. What can I say. Lots!

HAw ha Raymi the moocher yes we all get it. HARLEM RENAISSANCE. Look it up.

Back to The Rum Diary now.

Can’t recall if this is Max or Cab Calloway’s version halp!

Dance von Valentine Vamps

Whattagwan bredren!

Haha this is like Ants or a fairytail pixar flick and I am just waking up from my miniature leaf in Tiny Town Marsh. Fuck do I ever wish that.


Love the whimsical cocoon effect.

Thanks Katrina for the sweet lingerie set. Love it. Burlesque vortex beginneth ding dang ding.

My girls were a big help, I adore them so. Consider a burlesque production to be like moving. You need movers to move, you cannot do it alone. No one likes moving but it has to be done. I am very grateful to my friends and the love is returned don’t you worry BECAUSE I AM THE NICEST PERSON IN THE WORLD lol.

Don’t worry you get a shout out too Courtney! The mystery camera are close-ups because it gets zoomed in and no one knows because it’s a mystery camera DUH haha.

Ha cool. It’s like 2006 in here.

This looks like we are in a bomb shelter bunker at the end of the world THAT IS BECAUSE IT FELT EXACTLY LIKE THAT.

Drink up you will need the fuel energy I am going to have a lot of confusing demands and diva freak outs.

Bad girls go to hell ahhaha nice.

These lanterns were stupid and wouldn’t complete a full 360 degree lantern WTF!

Ron was funny and kept making brand or sponsored by slogans during his sets. “Coffeetime, it’s like Tim Hortons except someone probably died here.” Eeeeeh I howled hahaa.

Serious-lay Red Zep, dang girl.

And now thanks to Jules I have a weird shoes fetish now and am going to fire up some Spice Girls.

Swoon. Now I need sparkle socks too. Like yesterday.

Alyssa! Platinum Raymi Army OG conformist. Secret Salute/handshake coming soon.

Tiny acorn head face ahahhaa.

Ok I’ll shut up now lets watch. I didn’t mean to hit publish yet arg. So many goddamn interruptions today. No one lets me work in peace. MOM!


All eyes forward now.

Yummy Bunny Angora up next.

Maria Juana!

Batman now enemy competition.

Pastel xoxoxo so cute as always.

I saw a $600 version of that dress at holts during my shopping spree once.

Jamba Mamba Yeah thanks guys!

Girl meeting.

Obvs I am loving me some Choew mein.

HAHA Teacher busted.

Like the Cat cows head valentines?

It will be fun practicing in this at home. Good for videos. I don’t get to enjoy my outfits until after I perform in them and the cherry is broken.


Bunny stress face so cute still.

Love the bottoms.

Won’t you love spotting me over the summer dancing to this in the park?

The wizard is in.

So this one’s for Whitney girls I said downstairs pre-show, we learned she died just before we left the house. I told them about what happened they were all shocked. Yes it was shocking, and sad of course. The show must go on. It’s a wake up call. I know too many people who have died in the last month :(.

I am not giving up however. Fear keeps me going, motivated. Trust me a lot of people try and get me down and get in my way. It really sucks and is energy zapping. Rise above I say.

Put yourself first always and if you don’t make any effort in life you only have yourself to blame, not others, not me. You know who!

I want more sparkles and a headdress. My next costume is going to be phenom and the next show bananas and it will get international press you might want to be in town for the sixteenth JUST SAYING LOUD AND CLEAR plus the next day is st. patrick’s day so double party. OMFG THAT’S A FRIDAY AND A SATURDAY. Cray! Sorry cray I can’t quit you yet.

O_O. Picture sure do last longer.

Eye candy forever. Food is here brb. That’s part 1 for now. TV TIME!

Banished from the promised land.

Hey guys! Happy Valentine’s Day! Here is my gift to you, a bunch of hot chicks (plus me!)(once I’m done posting the ones of me I mean) dancing and rude jokes, yay times!

Les Valentine Vamps.

These are Thomas’ photos, he has a filter of some sort on them. Neat. He won the Team Macho book. That pleased me.

Ho hum. This looks like a sad birthday valentine’s party. I am hanging that sign in the living room after this blog post. So at like 4.

Paddy Bewbies. I think this burlesque shit is turning me in to a pervert.

I look like a dragon fly. I am fine with that.

That shit is fun. I have to sew one end of it, the rod came out. I am so going to pride this year, do you want to sponsor me? I’ll put your logo all over my naked painted body. I’m going to be a naked painted model for an artist friend’s art show in june, so we’ll be practicing a lot. Then I can be in caribana and when the gun shots happen don’t worry bitch will be mawfuck’n sprintin’ for sure taking flight too I bet.

It’s not cellophane I swear.

I’d look good with wings tattooed on my back. Probably a bad idea.

I wonder what nudist colony I’ll be settling on in my old age. Playing tennis with some fogey and his balls resting on the wooden net spike ahhhaha nice clear cut visual you are most welcome.

Just one of the guys. Hey lets go for tacos later.

I am the pink scorpion queen don’t get tangled up in my scorpion wings

Oh shit when will this end!!!

I’m thinking is this illegal right now.

Approachable! I am way less nervous making a fool out of myself dancing than standing in front of a sea of people waiting for bids. Someone said seeing me in the social media world it is obvious that I am uncomfortable and guess why, that shit is not natural, it’s a phoney baloney world full of stupid assholes (they all talk shit and backstab) and I can’t wait til the scene dies. I like real life. Despite my blog’s taking a nap yesterday having a real effect on me spiritually (ahha shut up) it’s like real life hit pause and I felt there was no point in doing anything because I already have a backlog of content. Still felt lost though, albeit relieved. I enjoyed being a hungover pile of loser on the couch on Sunday and not blogging, I needed the rest.

Here are Maria Juana and Chow Mein (best names right) doing the Mr. Sandman number. You will have to come out to the next one to see it for yourself, sometimes I’m too generous with the aftermath footage for the lazy bastards, oh Raymi is so good to us we don’t even have to go we can sit on our asses at home and just wait. Also we don’t have a video of this dance either heheh :(.

So cute and cheeky, I love their style, very Harlettes.

Then Mr. Sandman shows up!

Cute cute dance.

Chow has a Harlettes logo tattoo on her thigh.

And I cannot get over her tits.

Oh there’s Maria Juana’s tat too.

Shimmy shimmy shake.

Pastel as always is perfection incarnate.

She does this quick flip spin on the chair, major pro. So much skill and control, grace, poise, ahhh.

No problem Chow Mein!

Seriously. O_O.

More in a sec! had to upgrade WordPress so I am learning that too and the type font is all squinty typewriter I hate it.

Oh look I am actually cleaning something.

Bunny looks like a sexy ninja.

Lucky I was standing right there by the stage with my gloves on. Also someone is missing a glove, I came home with three.

Much more to come blabbity blah blogging is harder than facebook FYI. HAha.

And now, Maria Juana! man I’d like ta get me some of that!

This dance is amazing. One guy exclaimed, SHE REMOVED HER GARTERS WITH HER DRESS STILL ON.

Love the backward panty hose peel. Classic.

I lost my mind at this point it was so fucking good.

SO amazeballs.

And now time for more pastel supernova! She’s danced with Lady Gaga before. Nelly Furtado too. It shows. Boy does it ever.

Aaadorable. We’re the same age too! For some reason that is a victory to me.

She reminds me of the hot girl (Maria) Kuamr is in love with in Harold and Kumar (duh) and now they’re married and having a baby! There will so be a fourth movie, they’re the new cheech and chong. We watched the xmas Harold and Kumar recently. I will have to watch it again soon.

That little nightie baby doll dress looks familiar.

How many people totally need sparkle socks now?

it just occurred to me I can be making my pictures bigger and wider here now that the border is at the bottom of my blog, not that there is any vital information on it haha. We had to remove some plugins, namely my guest counter best friend widget. Maybe it was cranked too high and it blew up the server, ok not blow up but crashed it. I will be moving to my own dedicated server soon. That is some “big deal” type shit!

My first dance.

I look like Godzilla.

Considering how much time I spend sitting on that thing, my ass is pretty alright.

I think I must be singing along. My mouth was open the entire time.

Red Zeppelin was hot this night!!!

Hi Thomas!

I want that nightie.

And that dress too.

We matched outfits later on in the night too, cosmic twins. It’s what Florence would want.

You skinny! That’s what it is. Smokin’.

Okay new post for the next batch of bechnique’s and colleague’s and alyssa’s shots. Have mercy, yesterday’s hiccup have put me behind a little beet.

Happeh Valehntine’s Day you guys’s. Love yew!

I put a spell on you

My site is wonky at the moment because it is just too popular now and I have outgrown my server and must move, which is good because that means new layout will be up by week’s end. Sorry for the hiccups, you’ve been wonderful. I was worried I’d been hacked and of course always fear the worst. Only parts of my site will be loading in the meanwhile because, “you are getting too much traffic on the server we have you on, it overloaded it and the url has been blocked by the server.” And now I shall be back with more photos from Valentine Vamps. xo rlw. (direct urls to specific posts aren’t working, you’ll have to load the whole blog to see ughhhhh).

The camera gets a swipe with one of my rods in this one and comes back from the malfunction and keeps recording. The ceiling isn’t that high or that low, but there is a disco ball on it to maneuver around with these giant wings. One pasty was just dying to fall off too haha.

Will be coming back with tons of pics momentaril-all day-ily. I took my top off too soon. Meh. The rest of the Vamps were PERFECT. Solid show and greatly fine-tuned production overall it was super fun, thank you everyone!!

A lot of up close mystery camera pics too haha.

Fantastic green room!

Goin’ through tons more now. Nothing but girl flesh and sequins. There’s thousands of them. Waiting for 200 to upload before I can upload 200 more hahaha oy.

Back with tons more. And I will probably repeat that a lot throughout the day.


Dissappearing in plain sight Heaven help me need to make it right

Oh look it’s me wasters on Bourbon street Nawlins doing Raymaoke like a prayer. Madonna is a break dancing old gal now, and how! Cheers Madge.

Watch how my earring whimsically flutters after I whip my head up from crankin’ it!

Posting standup material later I got interrupted by dancing. Both posting and doing and watching.

Shawarma plates on the way holla! I love this day. We have been up since half passed nine. Going to call Nacnud now. Bring bring (phone sound).

Food’s here! Blob times! Next that chicken I’m eating a hen! This garlic cream dream cloud in my mouth is making anything seem possible!

Ruv Roo :).


Gotta give props!

Miss Minx!
Thanking the gods that creeps exists, or I would never’a found your blob! You are my new capital-HIL-arious friend in my head! Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely too fat to chum with you girl, but I don’t hate! ;) I know my ass needs spanx! Keep up the hilarity and edgy perspectiveizing!

Much Love,

Lou Lou

aw you are so heart warming. very nice to hear from you. comment on le blob any time budday!

fuck fat, own your shit, youll get over it and itll disappear someday. i yo yo like janet jackson beyonce like cray myself ive been there.

xo your pal raymes