This was literally gonna be a post about my sexist toys but it turned into this instead, enjoy.
Hey all GANG GANG wasssup! and thanks for all the incredible unsolicited advice! Please tell me more on how to move okay, and what’s your email addresses too please so I can send invoices for your consultation fees, what’s the rate again? You can also post it to 123 SHUT THE FUCK UP I GOT THIS Lane.
kk so now with the fun stuff. Many years ago in the early 2000s when I wrote like Perez Hilton as in MEAN and funny but also remember my origin roots are with VICE magazine trolls so I am severe with it when I gotta be and I also have problems with justice where I deem the culprits (you) are fucking around too hard so I am the FIND OUT and I have always been this way in my life. I am the top dog. People always try to cut down the top dog. The tallest poppies get cut. Anyway, I can tell you times where men (rob) have blasted me away due to my raging arrogance and intelligence. yes. I am a savant, a gifted person, and because my childhood is over don’t mean my brain is. The type of person that I am draws a crowd and also fans, people with crushes, and then people I bed, have bedded.
11 years ago when I was mentally checked out of Rob’s bullshit big time and I was partying plus bartending and never still. I was living with him but also traveling to Detroit monthly for weeks at a time and he inevitably got bent out of shape about it dunno why he didn’t fully toss my ass out but he got very aggressive with me, our friendship was becoming unglued and fractured. This is also when he accused me of stealing an antique bottle that he hid on himself then we didn’t speak for years til he came clean then more years when I got enraged all over again about it when he told me he found it and eviscerated him over the phone.
When you hear someone saying that they strongly suspect you stole a gay ass antique bottle that you didn’t even know existed you become cartoonishly, explosively upset. I am only matching the energy that is placed before me and sometimes one-upping it because I get angry at the inconvenience of my feelings being hurt, disregarded, not listened to, believed, trusted, and so on. In short, I am TOO SMART.
You may notice a pattern of men trying me thru the years. To conquer me, to dominate me, to end me. When you are constantly fight or flighting how can you not be an alcoholic?
I was sitting at the big wooden table in Rob’s condo, he was angry and ranting at something while I was counter-balancing the chaotic energy by sitting calmly, stoicly. I was fatigued and only wanted to sit there before the next thing on my schedule would force me to prepare for it while fuckface Rob is screaming down into my face and THEN he blurts out how many women he has slept with and this high number is suppose to make me feel small and bow down to him.
Well. My body count is way higher so I just sat there, as this stanky filthy vile sputtering coke bottle glasses manic farmer faced attempted to scare me with this rant. I just looked up at him, bewildered and totally grossed out by the flex. Like, for one, those poor women and two I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW THIS!!!
Okay this was suppose to be a lead-in to my SEXIST Toys blog post which will come later now. Shifting gears.
forgive me my desktop is littered with so many pics I haven’t posted here it’s a minefield for my OCD triggered mind. it is NOT a harmless hell at all.
oh just some progress pics from earlier this week.
you know i sneak crap into posts later on that makes em good n messy thats what im known for apparently.
Working on my book today (fully a lie) and other writing so I am a little burnt out, spread thin, and got nuthin’ for yas just updating this wonderful gem of a website as you do.
I got a pair of overalls.. that was exciting.
I want to learn Coyote by Kacey Musgraves. I make little goals for myself then I accomplish them. I have a couple surprise monologues to memorize too. Can’t complain, life is good. Happy Sunday.
This blog title means nothing I just had it saved in my drafts from weeks ago can’t recall why I thought of it, does it matter? Think it was self-referential likely. I can’t trust my server blog connection out here so I’ll just end this now, cash me ousside.
a LOT of lyrics to learn. Angie wants to teach me guitar. we will see.
update: I see that my comments are down again. getting colleague on the horn. no not Rob. Rob is canceled.
Do I appear like someone who enjoys being perpetually fucked with or something? Is there a target on my head? ps. that’s not a moose knuckle all my bits are shifted to one side here lol.
What would you do if your dreams finally came true but it takes awhile for others to catch up to you about that so they feel inclined to just fuck with you?
Do you lay down and take it? What are you nuts?!
I’ll tell you what tho, i am damn tired of distractions. like I love the notifications popularity but it’s annoying to re-tell ppl that I need space and time and focus and to stop messaging me like tone it down i am constantly trying to sugar coat it and i can’t anymore i am so wound-up annoyed from IRL pointless crap that eats my focus and then the notifications hell that I have created for myself. My short window of alone time with no distractions is so small that I feel panic when i type and create that soon it’ll ne taken from me and I won’t finish I just want to walk on an endless treadmill in my mind and there’s no obstacles or people who fucking need me right now. There I feel better that I got that out.
I don’t even see myself as a sexual object when I am so annoyed and trying to focus on churning out content like it’s hard to take the compliments. I don’t know what the solution is.. i am definitely complaining about champagne problems but it’s okay in this arena because I am intentionally putting myself first and being selfish and I will snap if I am crossed and I am on two different meds for moods so it’s not the fucking moods or me it’s mt environment and the people who overstep boundaries. Since adding a sister drug to my anti-depressant that’s suppose to make me more zen, it’s actually making me angrier and fine about it like a bullet train of rage I see myself flipping out and I can’t control it i don’t even want to it’s like AH HA! thanks asshole you just reminded me you’re on my shit list from that thing you did and now u did again just now. I am tired of being two people and my anger interwoven seemingly. The solution for now is to just address it and it’s exhausting plus ageing me and fucking with my blood pressure.
The uncensored pics are on my substack ofc thanks for listening on to the next task until the next distraction or interruption.
try this view too of my substack and get the app! It’s fun and escapist and friends are always there but u see how it is distracting and part of the problem I am railing about. https://substack.com/@raymitheminx
Also got a lot going on my youtube channel meow pls sub there too.
this is why I need to be left alone my brain is FILLED with ideas and concepts I gotta shake loose and I do not care what anyone says it is happening and it is happening yesterday. And don’t piss somebody off with fantastic legs what are you stupid??
guess what? I am funny and I am fast and I am nuts and I am making room for zany that put me on the fucking map Rob! You got that? Woah i do not like that this pic is pixilated tho, I’ll make good on that later.
its a filter called *********** and not too different from my tanned skinned and makeup
and why seems a bit…i dunno, rude? invasive. insistent. demanding?
I meant it as a compliment. I want to see the real you. Because imperfections are part of a persons identity. When I was a kid and TV commercials showed a woman before and after a supposedly fabulous shampoo, I always liked “before girl.”
For example, your images posted in response to someone saying you are “flat” (?). Those are fab.
ok well i post what i post and thats that
imperfections and flawless pics, so dont drag me on my flawless ones nd be like let me see u uglier. annoying. thank u otherwise
IF YOU MEANT IT AS A COMPLIMENT THEN JUST SAY THE FUCKING COMPLIMENT. tugging at my pigtails makes me want to punch you in the face bro. get to the point i don’t have patience for mind games.
srsly too much mansplaining and DMs being so brave and back-handed compliments I get it i am your like science experiment that talks to you but just know if ur brave enough to take me to task like this privately, i will be replying publicly on it for fodder so that the whole class can see your work.
HERE’S A F—ING CHALLENGE! Spun out!? I’ll give you spun out you oatmeal-coloured charlatan beta boring wallflower and flower as in WEED. you is a wall weed Carrie, always have been.
HOW’S ABOUT SOME CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISMS FOR A CHANGE.
SAY SOMETHING WONDERFUL FOR ONCE HOW ABOUT THAT?
MAYBE SAY YOU’RE PROUD OF MY VARIETY OF SOMETHING HERE THAT BRINGS YOU BACK HATE-WATCHING YOU PARASOCIAL PILE OF PUKE.
Get me that tiny #youtube plaque we’re seven away from reaching our raymi community goal.
Now if u help me win, my platform will:
-create secret little raymi handshakes for members
-weekly moon pies and penny whistles discussions
-show & tell our collections interests and hobbies
-tantric candle making tutorials
-ill remake my goodbye horses dance video
-post a very embarrassing video that u request
-get hotter
-scream at someone
-catch a 24 hr X ban
I AM telling ya the sky is the limit here people.
happy Saturyay u dinguses.
LEAVE ME A VOMMENT, SAY SOMETHING INTERESTING IT DOESN’T NEED TO BE ABOUT ME.
when I write the code in these posts I am on autopilot so I know I gotta lock in tomorrow and be more organized, the past two days was a gathering and creating content ordeal but tomorrow there are plans so choices must be made. as for now I am gonna demolish one of the mix salads i bought and finish jackass last and whatever it’s called. Adios!
