Sometimes I get hyper-reactive to the C-word and to the B-word. You can call me the other C-word and it’s okay but not this one. only i get to say I am crazy, you don’t get to.
I have decided to lean into the crazy. They say if crazy people don’t know they’re crazy, then they’re crazy and if people say they’re not crazy, they are definitely crazy but when people say they are crazy, it means that they aren’t. I find that those who are the most opposed to mental health are the ones who got the most issues that need addressing (yesterday). I also love when people say their problems out loud and also the solution for it. I interrupt and say, SO DO THAT or TELL THEM EXACTLY WHAT U JUST TOLD ME PROBLEM SOLVED but they don’t do it. People prefer the mess and the chip on their shoulders.
How is it that a humble egotistical fuck like myself can be happily collecting diagnosis’ then? I be out here catching traits, ticks, ’tisms, habits, routines all kinds of things with a big butterfly net but nahhhhhhhh YOU ALL somehow get missed with that bullshit like how the ones who trigger me say I am reacting yet it’s TO THEM AND WHAT THEY ARE CONSTANTLY FUCKING DOING chicken and the egg me once more and get a little FAFO sprinkling too bitch. Promise.
Can you tell I got my period? Lol.
Told a gf I was going to lean into sexy Minx then immediately text her a bevy of not sexy takes, rants, incidents, foul comment screenshots, just toxic drama galore. I think I meant to say, I will start TOMORROW lol. Which would be today.
This is blowing up on instagram. Only in this instance do I wish I was a man to be taken seriously and believed. I am just not a liar at all so this busts my chops hard, if you know me irl u know I have zero patience and tolerance for people who make me repeat myself.
I will say the thing ONCE and I say it kindly like a mouse, and then I get underestimated on whatever i said and not taken seriously. I am so lethally high-strung AUDHD that even saying the thing once pains me and I am irritated that I needed to speak AT ALL.
…and so, to take me to task and question me on anything resulting in me repeating the matter with even more details, effort, gusto, and thought, knowing you are still not on board, I AM LIVID at this point.
I just don’t lie and manosphere fucks en masse raining down on me shit like “sure bud” and “didn’t happen” over and over again made me a little more mad lol @ “a little more” and yeah, if you know me and love me then you will fight with me. Apparently a lot of women are making these videos right now so lets blame them for the rampant conspiracies flooding the feeds and not the cause of those videos.
IF THESE THINGS DIDN’T HAPPEN THEN THESE VIDEOS WOULDN’T EXIST. Has ChatGPT taken people’s ability to recognize reality any fucking more or are they that reactive to the story about guys leering at me and saying it out loud, did they get affected and revolted too? So they’re quick to protect their fellow (fictional by their records) men out from the boogey women claiming all these VERY FUCKING TOTALLY HAPPENED TO US THINGS.
No wait, they all gotta be lying that’s it they co-ordinated these mass-lies because women have a secret red bat phone all connected to one another ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY TO THINK THAT WE ACTUALLY SPRANG INTO ACTION TO MAKE S/A VIDEOS ABOUT OUR TRAUMAS AND ABUSERS???
These men think they’re the dominant gender (they aren’t) and that the piggish shit that they all know they all do, isn’t really happening and the gross incel manosphere crap u all engage in that we see and u make sure of it…. IS THINGS THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN FOR 1000 Alex… so what is it? these things we see u do and brag about on the dark web too like really bad things, do not happen??? you are frying my logical brain. Such a waste of my time. Smart men know women are the smarter gender. Dumb men claim to be smart. Smart men say nothing.
and I just posted this on FB
Most viral vid of me on insta thus far outside of the 200 days sobriety selfie from 100 days ago I posted controversy kids… If you have thick skin, getting people mad at you is the way. I’ve had viral moments over the past 26 years and those moments bring draggings so hard you might lose ten pounds in a week. Some platforms are more vicious than others. And certain takes you have bring with those stans coming for you. Example: TwiHards – the Twilight Fandom taught yours truly a lesson when I posted Keira Morgan’s picture of #RobertPattinson on my raymitheminx.com blog in the early 2000s in Vancouver at a JUNO party he came to of ours… Gibson’s, as I was one of the groupie #influencer motley crew I was there too. lots of Canuck celebs were and they were filming Twilight on Tofino island at the time.
SO, Keira sells the pic to pop sugar (a lesser-tier Perez hilton site) and she gets a grand from it. He refused to take pics with us so she stealthily got a pic from across the room I was too scared to do it anyway, all I did was share the details on my blog and omit the part where he reeked like hot garbage cigarettes sweat like they obviously filmed all day and then he headed out in a toque to be more sweaty. you know that hot stank, he is also fucking hot as hell too so it didn’t matter but i was face to face with him SUPER CLOSE had to lean into his ear the music was blaring.. I have pics of this entire trip and evening. So ya, Twihards DID NOT RESPOND FAVOURABLY AT ALL TO THIS BLOG POST. I didn’t even think or know about them.
They went thru my blog and tore me to shreds so when I say to modern day trolls that they can’t hurt me (it still hurts) I try to make it known I have been thru the ringer before, the factory it was manufactured in plus the guy’s torture chamber prototype who invented it.
I don’t make videos about fictional things unless it’s about one of my inchy the caterpillar filler stories because I am baked and think I am hilarious or something. If I was a liar my blog would be, guess what, FILLED WITH LIES.
Mike “The Situation”Sorrentino cannot tell a lie either he is a big blabbermouth and I am too I just cant and don’t lie because I think every true detail is so interesting because I am delulu and happy I don’t even care if others think what I am saying matters I am talking til I get laughs.
in conclusion, what a nice long blog post u were blessed with today. Now say thank you before i make you pay to read this too.
ngl im 43 and that’s me no filter and i can show it without my shades on too. i got moonbeam eyebags but they’re smooth and look ok, if that makes sense? sobriety really is age-defying…
enough monkeying around time to upload a video i took yesterday!
This was literally gonna be a post about my sexist toys but it turned into this instead, enjoy.
Hey all GANG GANG wasssup! and thanks for all the incredible unsolicited advice! Please tell me more on how to move okay, and what’s your email addresses too please so I can send invoices for your consultation fees, what’s the rate again? You can also post it to 123 SHUT THE FUCK UP I GOT THIS Lane.
kk so now with the fun stuff. Many years ago in the early 2000s when I wrote like Perez Hilton as in MEAN and funny but also remember my origin roots are with VICE magazine trolls so I am severe with it when I gotta be and I also have problems with justice where I deem the culprits (you) are fucking around too hard so I am the FIND OUT and I have always been this way in my life. I am the top dog. People always try to cut down the top dog. The tallest poppies get cut. Anyway, I can tell you times where men (rob) have blasted me away due to my raging arrogance and intelligence. yes. I am a savant, a gifted person, and because my childhood is over don’t mean my brain is. The type of person that I am draws a crowd and also fans, people with crushes, and then people I bed, have bedded.
11 years ago when I was mentally checked out of Rob’s bullshit big time and I was partying plus bartending and never still. I was living with him but also traveling to Detroit monthly for weeks at a time and he inevitably got bent out of shape about it dunno why he didn’t fully toss my ass out but he got very aggressive with me, our friendship was becoming unglued and fractured. This is also when he accused me of stealing an antique bottle that he hid on himself then we didn’t speak for years til he came clean then more years when I got enraged all over again about it when he told me he found it and eviscerated him over the phone.
When you hear someone saying that they strongly suspect you stole a gay ass antique bottle that you didn’t even know existed you become cartoonishly, explosively upset. I am only matching the energy that is placed before me and sometimes one-upping it because I get angry at the inconvenience of my feelings being hurt, disregarded, not listened to, believed, trusted, and so on. In short, I am TOO SMART.
You may notice a pattern of men trying me thru the years. To conquer me, to dominate me, to end me. When you are constantly fight or flighting how can you not be an alcoholic?
I was sitting at the big wooden table in Rob’s condo, he was angry and ranting at something while I was counter-balancing the chaotic energy by sitting calmly, stoicly. I was fatigued and only wanted to sit there before the next thing on my schedule would force me to prepare for it while fuckface Rob is screaming down into my face and THEN he blurts out how many women he has slept with and this high number is suppose to make me feel small and bow down to him.
Well. My body count is way higher so I just sat there, as this stanky filthy vile sputtering coke bottle glasses manic farmer faced attempted to scare me with this rant. I just looked up at him, bewildered and totally grossed out by the flex. Like, for one, those poor women and two I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW THIS!!!
Okay this was suppose to be a lead-in to my SEXIST Toys blog post which will come later now. Shifting gears.
forgive me my desktop is littered with so many pics I haven’t posted here it’s a minefield for my OCD triggered mind. it is NOT a harmless hell at all.
oh just some progress pics from earlier this week.
you know i sneak crap into posts later on that makes em good n messy thats what im known for apparently.
Working on my book today (fully a lie) and other writing so I am a little burnt out, spread thin, and got nuthin’ for yas just updating this wonderful gem of a website as you do.
I got a pair of overalls.. that was exciting.
I want to learn Coyote by Kacey Musgraves. I make little goals for myself then I accomplish them. I have a couple surprise monologues to memorize too. Can’t complain, life is good. Happy Sunday.
This blog title means nothing I just had it saved in my drafts from weeks ago can’t recall why I thought of it, does it matter? Think it was self-referential likely. I can’t trust my server blog connection out here so I’ll just end this now, cash me ousside.
a LOT of lyrics to learn. Angie wants to teach me guitar. we will see.
update: I see that my comments are down again. getting colleague on the horn. no not Rob. Rob is canceled.
Do I appear like someone who enjoys being perpetually fucked with or something? Is there a target on my head? ps. that’s not a moose knuckle all my bits are shifted to one side here lol.
What would you do if your dreams finally came true but it takes awhile for others to catch up to you about that so they feel inclined to just fuck with you?
Do you lay down and take it? What are you nuts?!
I’ll tell you what tho, i am damn tired of distractions. like I love the notifications popularity but it’s annoying to re-tell ppl that I need space and time and focus and to stop messaging me like tone it down i am constantly trying to sugar coat it and i can’t anymore i am so wound-up annoyed from IRL pointless crap that eats my focus and then the notifications hell that I have created for myself. My short window of alone time with no distractions is so small that I feel panic when i type and create that soon it’ll ne taken from me and I won’t finish I just want to walk on an endless treadmill in my mind and there’s no obstacles or people who fucking need me right now. There I feel better that I got that out.
I don’t even see myself as a sexual object when I am so annoyed and trying to focus on churning out content like it’s hard to take the compliments. I don’t know what the solution is.. i am definitely complaining about champagne problems but it’s okay in this arena because I am intentionally putting myself first and being selfish and I will snap if I am crossed and I am on two different meds for moods so it’s not the fucking moods or me it’s mt environment and the people who overstep boundaries. Since adding a sister drug to my anti-depressant that’s suppose to make me more zen, it’s actually making me angrier and fine about it like a bullet train of rage I see myself flipping out and I can’t control it i don’t even want to it’s like AH HA! thanks asshole you just reminded me you’re on my shit list from that thing you did and now u did again just now. I am tired of being two people and my anger interwoven seemingly. The solution for now is to just address it and it’s exhausting plus ageing me and fucking with my blood pressure.
The uncensored pics are on my substack ofc thanks for listening on to the next task until the next distraction or interruption.
try this view too of my substack and get the app! It’s fun and escapist and friends are always there but u see how it is distracting and part of the problem I am railing about. https://substack.com/@raymitheminx
Also got a lot going on my youtube channel meow pls sub there too.
this is why I need to be left alone my brain is FILLED with ideas and concepts I gotta shake loose and I do not care what anyone says it is happening and it is happening yesterday. And don’t piss somebody off with fantastic legs what are you stupid??
guess what? I am funny and I am fast and I am nuts and I am making room for zany that put me on the fucking map Rob! You got that? Woah i do not like that this pic is pixilated tho, I’ll make good on that later.
its a filter called *********** and not too different from my tanned skinned and makeup
and why seems a bit…i dunno, rude? invasive. insistent. demanding?
I meant it as a compliment. I want to see the real you. Because imperfections are part of a persons identity. When I was a kid and TV commercials showed a woman before and after a supposedly fabulous shampoo, I always liked “before girl.”
For example, your images posted in response to someone saying you are “flat” (?). Those are fab.
ok well i post what i post and thats that
imperfections and flawless pics, so dont drag me on my flawless ones nd be like let me see u uglier. annoying. thank u otherwise
IF YOU MEANT IT AS A COMPLIMENT THEN JUST SAY THE FUCKING COMPLIMENT. tugging at my pigtails makes me want to punch you in the face bro. get to the point i don’t have patience for mind games.
srsly too much mansplaining and DMs being so brave and back-handed compliments I get it i am your like science experiment that talks to you but just know if ur brave enough to take me to task like this privately, i will be replying publicly on it for fodder so that the whole class can see your work.
