Tag Archives: raymi the minx

go to my blog or go to hell

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Hi okay, hi hi, yeah, yeah, yeah let’s get all this fanfare and fuss out of the way now.

I just read my homework notes from Emily‘s talk we had last week re: my book and I really need to strap in.

I was a little bit overwhelmed and concluded FUCK THIS BOOK I can’t do this but like, it’s only 9am why am I already quitting?

This is what extreme anxiety is like. You are pretty much useless and anything you do achieve is actually a pat on the back but anyway, I said NO to those thoughts, go blog, and here I am.

I swear I have the maturity level of a fucking jelly bean yes I see it too but isn’t it just wonderful!

I think so. If you can just tap dance thru life like a stupid fucking moron then you have got it figured out. More or less.


in between drug deals with the guy I was dating at the time. I am 19 yrs old, an online model in secret, a famous it girl blogger dating a scary dealer in Toronto on my way to a nervous breakdown.

I have a list of words and each word is a chapter to build from and Emily said 30-40 chapters about so I fired off a list while we were on that call. Emily emailed her minutes too thank god.

Structure is my enemy but I love routine and need it, close to bringing it all together now. Emily’s notes are so good and my immediate opportunistic thought is to share them here with you but you can’t do that, you have to save it. I am so impulsive that’s why blogging is intoxicating I get immediate dopamine hits when I share everywhere in lieu of saving chapters for a book then experiencing better gains then instead and more. wtv I need a fucking podcast yesterday and my friend from grade school’s daughter watches my instagram bullshit and told her mom I should do Onlyfans yeah yeah I know we’ll get there.


iykyk

At this rate it will be forty years til I publish my book and then we can call it my opus fuckin’turd get it done.

here’s my list of words tho, I will redact some..

Sadness
Hospital
Webcam
Blog
Rehab
Mania
9/11
Six months in mansions
Holland
Maine
LA psychosis
Toronto
M___
___ muskoka
Beaches
Burlesque
Family
Internet
Social media
Insecurity
Anger
Humour
Dreams
Bingeing tv
OCD
Bipolar

Let me know if I am missing anything lol kk ttyl xo don’t be a Chooch!

ps. you know I love my definitions…

“Chooch” is Italian-American slang for a fool, dummy, or goofball, often used playfully among friends or family.

“Chooch” is a slang term primarily used in Italian-American communities, especially in the Northeastern United States, including New York, New Jersey, and Philadelphia

It refers to someone who acts foolishly, makes silly mistakes, or behaves in a gullible or stubborn way. While it can be teasing or mildly derogatory, it is often used affectionately, similar to calling someone a “goofball” or “dummy” in a playful context

The term originates from the Italian word ciuccio, which literally means “donkey” or “pacifier” in Southern Italian dialects

. Italian immigrants in the U.S. adapted the word into “chooch,” reflecting local accents and speech patterns. Over time, it became a common nickname or playful jab within Italian-American families and neighborhoods

Playful/affectionate: Used among friends or family to gently tease someone for a minor mistake or silly behavior. Example: “Oh come on, don’t be such a chooch!”

Mildly negative: Can describe someone acting clueless or foolish, but it is rarely meant as a serious insult
Context-dependent: The tone, relationship, and setting determine whether it feels teasing, affectionate, or slightly critical

Cultural Context
“Chooch” is regionally specific and may not be widely recognized outside Italian-American communities in the Northeast. It has not entered mainstream English and is mostly used in informal, familial, or community settings

Its playful nature makes it suitable for casual conversation but less appropriate in professional or unfamiliar contexts.
In short, a chooch is a lovable fool or goofball, a term that blends Italian heritage with American slang, often used to poke fun at someone without causing offense

speed reading here I don’t see anything about Jersey Shore hmm…

Don’t forget to subscribe to my substack btw you can for free dumbass cheapskate tf.

SUBSCRIBE CLICK LINK BOOMER RAYMITHEMINX.SUBSTACK.COM THANKS

girl slow down

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Ha ha ya right like that is even possible for this guy but I find that awareness is key of any shitty thing you’re up to, call yourself on it. That’s the only way you can make change because you turn a blind eye and the who world goes blind wtf was that saying again? It’s all water under the fridge just gettin’ two birds stoned at once here.

Speaking of blind, I also wonder if that blind person is still reading my blog. I made a blind joke once upon a time in my Raymi fashion which is like borderline gaslight politically incorrect ofc. I tow the line. Anyway I got dragged for it then lo and behold I receive a comment from a blind person having my back I was like THATS RIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS WHAT I SAY HERE IS LAW but that was so fascinating to me. Blind guy said he was able to read my blog with a read to voice audio something or other in a time when my blog being read aloud to him like a robot Stephen Hawkings and you couldn’t select your desired voice preference. my bf has a famous tennis player’s voice for his GPS (he seldom uses) and so one time we’re driving to wherever the fuck and this croony sexy swarthy mysterious voice relaxing and calmly is speaking in the background behind Sirius radio playing tunes, I ignore it, figure it’s another auditory hallucination lol but then I am like WHO is speaking what is that? Oh a tennis player directing us to another small town kk cool.

I still wanna make a Nagivation app and it’s your mother-in-law’s voice screaming at you to take a sweater and not drive so fast (soft seinfeld george costanza rip-off) like come on the wordplay is totally right there that’s how fast my brain is functioning, I’m doing the things and concocting riddles along the way fucking christ. I am nagivating you. Nagivation. No, NAGivation. STOP NAGIVATING AT ME. see? fun. especially three hours deep inna a road trip and you gotta piss but there’s no place in sight then someone mentions waterfalls and flowing rivers. Never stop trolling the world.

I look back on my life to understand the here and now like I can see bad habits I am forming and I am raiding my hand to try to curb them all in one fell swoop like you can conquer shit when u tap into a higher level of consciousness (can you believe that I am talking like this now?) and when you make that shift in establishing a new routine involving effort and wiping out the bullshit.

for the stupider ones than me, here:

Consciousness is the state of being aware of and able to think about one’s own existence, thoughts, and surroundings, encompassing a complex interplay of subjective experiences and brain processes.

So I want to work on a digital detox. Less social media. Less immediate dopamine reaction and OCD checking notifications around the clock. I never learned to shut off or nagivate that. I get a lot of notifications and it’s no different than drugs or any other addiction. If you have been a loner or isolate yourself, then social media is for you, so now that I got what I wanted I am drowning in it similar to lottery winners who blow thru all their money.

I wished for social media before it existed. I wanted to leave my beautifully screwed up teenage girl journals in parks for strangers to read and somehow get back to me. I thought of a system! I would dig a hole and there would be a sign-out log for all the people desperate to hear about my life. LMAO. Joke’s on you though because you’re here reading this so who is the loser now huh?

Another thing I need to curb is Love Island fights with morons like me on X. I like it as much as coffee. Lots. And then when I get attacked oh god lorrrrrrrrrdddd yess more please. I think I am addicted to humiliation and fighting I get an adrenaline spike when someone is mean to me, there’s legs here, it would explain a lot of my toxic patterns but anyway, I need to monetize it if I am going to continue investing precious time that would be better utilized elsewhere.

The thing with me though is if I like something then I will suck the fucking life out of it. That’s how we are with obsessions, hobbies, addictions, right? Not naming names but if you’re gonna chime in on my excessive unhealthy patterns then I will call you out on your annoying crap too!

See what I did there, defensive deflection. Don’t do that. Own and stand in your shit don’t attack and point fingers you know who you are if you do this.

Limiting social media I am hoping will lead to me blogging more and writing more BOOK. My writing agent said he will see if he can get me someone to help me. My bestie was but he literally RIP now so the position is now available. I have to trust you though. I let someone in before and they wrote a fucking hit blog piece on me LOL. I got Selena’d. jkjkjk but u know what I mean. Not bragging but I got some stage 5 clingers.

My next blog post will be a positive one nothing but motivational stuff as I would like to be the change I want to see in the world which means some people I know who are nothing but negative always it’s like abuse in my ears instant joy thief like fuck it’s entertaining but boundaries, curb it. When you’re the all new you that involves cutting out other people’s garbage you don’t want near you and never did nahhmsayin? I suffer from my own hell i ain’t suffering yours too. Empaths need to be vigilant. When giving is your love language you should not give too much and you will know when it’s too late so learn to SAY NO. And don’t apologize.

My girl Kenzie (who is getting so much hate and I defend the most like I am being paid) on Love Island corrected both of her matches in conversation and I wanted to tweet wow cunty but then I thought NO fuck that if she were a man saying those things no one would bat an eye. I also loved that she was right so hard and both men take the L. If men would just take more Ls and stfu more the world would be a lot chiller place like if y’all fucked up don’t waste more of our energies gaslighting around it because we saw it the first time. I step into my power of not getting fucked around with no more FYI first time I am nice about it and stand on business but if you didn’t take me seriously the first time, lord help you. When I fuck up and it means something to me, I do something about it I face it head on because I can’t relax until it’s rectified. Don’t understand the run and hiders and deniers. No aura points brah.

Okay I’m gonna pick some thirst traps for this post now.

Lemme know what you know, you know?

xo

Ate this yesterday then crushed a ton of weights and kettlebell. Being more aware of what I eat instead of starving myself and then snacking. Eat protein then have fuel and lift weights duhhh stupid. Still some steak left I will eat and do more puttering.

The odd cheat here and there so you don’t go postal. Sticky toffee pudding for 4.99 why wouldn’t you?

wisecracks and wordplay

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unnamed

The year is 20032 you are 19 years old and a famous Toronto blogger. There is no social media. No tablets, no TikTok, no smart phones, no Facebook, no Instagram, no Reddit. No one’s doing what you’re doing yet, sorry, but they’re just not. They will be though. I’m not gonna argue metrics on who did what first but if you really wanna talk about it the year is 2000 and you are a famous blogger but this picture above is 2003 and a more interesting time period so we’ll touch here. I still get emails from ogs tho like amazing people famous talented wealthy wise creative etc who say hey raymi I loved and was reading and looking at you back in 2000 then reference proofs to verify it and that shit floors me so u mfers feel free to defend me in the comments in case a flamewar breaks out, I am counting on it (both).

Merkley and I un-friended like not even a month ago because I said dude you’ve changed you are like evil now. that did not go over well. he made a podcast video flaming me then ends up talking about himself my mom said dont engage he has lots of those people following him now. Mom is always right I am lucky she is always here watching everybody lol look out u got the neighbourhood MOM WATCH FAM.

In 2003 I was a rocket of absolute madness, shameless and intentional BUT was I in control of any of that? Was Lauren White masterminding a caricature of herself like a split personality entity to funnel her crazy energies into? I guess so.

Because it happened and it worked but to what extent one would think the whole thing would have been monetized more effectively, wrapped up and packaged with a nice little bow that didn’t happen but different and various levels of success occurred instead.

I have gotten to do everything in my life that I have wanted to do yeah I could do and be more but I have had a privileged time I think we all can agree. I do regret not having an agent back then to help me with the hustle, a manager, someone to better nurture this lightning in a bottle but oh well now we have the sexy perimenopausal era and guess what yall fuckin old now too so suck my dick haha jkjk.

The comeback is always greater than the setback!

Not to mean there wasn’t periods of down times and shit times the universe makes sure we all experienced some suffering so that the sweet is sweeter.

Anyway this post is just a look-back at this time period and I will go as reveal as I feel because there is a lot of um, cringe. People thought this was trainwreckery at its finest. Okay sure homie I see you over there lol I know your skeletons bud you ain’t no sunshine patty cakes apple pie either.

My mentors were VICE Magazine, Jackass, the Toronto Mod scene, partying, booze, cocaine, weed, sex, attention, hangers-oners, people using me (oh yes I knew fuck-all about boundaries back then ugh) abusing me whatever I didn’t fuckin give a shit I blogged to atone for the sins. I exploited and I worked for it I flexed my writing talent and fearlessness just for you!

This entire operation was funded by my being a secret webcam girl at the time and I am so lucky my images weren’t jacked and put on blast (that is illegal fyi) in a pre-OF world. If onlyfans existed back then hell yes 100% I would be on it and it’s never too late either ;) I am not letting fear hold me back anymore if my family disowns me maybe this million dollars will make up for it LOL. I never blogged what I did for a living because I was always afraid it would get back to my family there was no way I could hide it my mom was parked on my blog everyone was.

The day we installed a tracker on my blog my roommate looked at me and said WHO ARE YOU??? He (since transitioned to a she) was a hacker computer genius. My hits were pinging in at high volume we were floored standing there in the dank basement laundry room hunched over his server used for work my blog was hosted on it too even though it was also housed on blogger.com someone can explain this to me if they want. I believe the server was necessary to track people because you couldn’t easily source free tracker websites back then they didn’t really exist yet?

I wasn’t an at home webcam girl I rode my bike to work in a building on Camden from my place in Little Italy on the top floor, below us was a record label (recording studio-hybrid) I forget what they were called but would see crazy famous ppl in the elevators all the time. I rode there as a hipster girl and transformed into Nikola then my blog transformed into more sexually-explicit stuff because my self esteem skyrocketed about exposing myself and nudity in general thanks to my job.

When you finally take charge of your own life and things you want to do and you say no more to shit you don’t want to do the vibe feeling is like that Nicolas Cage meme where he’s free and wind is blowing on his blissed out face okay I’ll just find it now hang on nevermind it won’t allow me to upload it it’s the Con Air meme, hilarious movie.

Blogging this shit gives me wicked anxiety it’s really good for the metabolism that blogging is, you evacuate before you blogerate. Blogging feels like obliterating yourself mentally and therapeutically dumping every fear thought and feeling it’s a very vulnerable state to be in that’s why it makes me so anxious. Like is the Boogeyman going to read this calm the fuck down Lauren relax! I am really REALLY bad at relaxing like really trust me I wish I could.

I think it’s most definitely because I am feeling things I have long since buried and I am not that person anymore shit that was scary insane also I am lazy now I don’t do so much back then doing way too much.

Anyway I am 118 days sober today and have lived a short lifetime since then it’s 23 years later depending how you look at it I will be 43 at the end of this month and yes I accept gifts thank you in advance even homemade ones literally anything I treasure all of it receiving is part of my love language probably bc my tank is always on empty nothing is ever enough for me I was once told but then I can go polar opposite no possessions needed man lol hop on the Bipolar express CHOO CHOO!

Thanks for your time I hope you enjoy your weekends, your health is good and you have something to do. I am wrapping this up because I must marinate in the bawth.

TTYL RAYMIIII <3 xoxo

Am I the A**hole here

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Screenshot 2023-03-29 090111

Well, I certainly hope that this story I’m about to share is worthy of you precious people’s times and I don’t come out looking like an asshole for even bothering telling it at all. A lot of my favoured (by people) blog posts are the ones in which I am in conflict or have strong bitchy opinions about some slight that happened out there in the mean streets so I’m just gonna go with it.

Went grocery shopping the other day, grabbed some essentials, pies that were on special, a cucumber, hummus, gingerale, avocados, tostitos blah blah. Now, I’m in a small town where the lighting in this charming local supermarket is very yellow, NO ONE is around, there’s just a few customers here and there no big rush all chill-paced one would think. I can even smell the place right now just typing about it, it’s oozing with smalltown market vibes. Which is unfortunate because I am about to ruin everything about that.

I am majorly impatient. I can’t deal with lines. I am constantly hedging my bets in terms of timing when I will be approaching that check-out. I saw a guy come in and noticed a few minutes later he was already checking-out and I was like NICE this will be a slice.

The lay-out of this rinky-dink store is claustrophobic and by the time I was making my way to the aisles I required I felt like I was in a maze that was getting progressively smaller and once I finally sling-shot around to make my way out I had come down some diagonal corridor where the pops were wedged in all WTF-like you just gotta see it yourself you’ll know what I mean.

Also, I will note that we are in a recession right now it’s safe and horrible to say like people are stealing groceries these days and booze more so than ever, it’s all going up. I mention this because I am a born cheapskate/deal hunter, creative in my purchases with what I will blow and what I’ll scrimp on nahhm sayin’ so you best believe my pies were 50% off about to expire (plus they were delicious!) and my avocados were two for $4 and my hummus was also on sale 2 for $8 and would you think this lone teenage girl cashier had all that properly scanned in without me having to direct her the entire time? absofuckinglutely not.

Now. As previously stated I have zilcho patience I am basically a Karen-in-disguise but with compassion and moments of clarity like I do not wig out in supermarkets I am as the kids say, “chill”. However, the ACTUAL Karen in-line behind me had none of those qualities. Oh here we go I just knew she was gonna blow a fucking gasket when I looked at the screen and said, “those avocados are 2 for $4″ lol.

Bear in mind I am wearing my black cat ears cap turned backwards my dickies plaid hick jacket and jogging pants. I look very backwoods I ain’t got time for that big city fashions nonsense. I am a tall, confident woman. I have “an energy” about me like I would not fuck with me if I saw me, you know? This Karen would not stare me in the eye once during this entire ordeal yet she had a full body temper tantrum every time I spoke to the cashier. Of course my hummus wasn’t coming up with the sale price so the girl has to walk all the way to produce/bakery section and retrieve it which is when I locked my gaze on Karen and wouldn’t look away. She didn’t look at me once but was huffing and puffing like no other. At the penultimate moment of another girl opening up a lane this Karen literally stomped her feet with her hands in fists over how annoyed she was about having to move her granola bars and whatever the crap over to the newly-opened lane. Like, if you just took a few calm deep breaths and laid back a minute we will be done here shortly and you could just stay here but nope.

Is it my fault I chose three things that the manager hadn’t yet inputted into the system? No. Is it my fault that we are in a recession therefore I bought those particular items purposely even though all my shit still came out to $42. This is why there’s self checkout now I am sure some people just literally have no clue how to do social interaction justice like in the good ol days. I will give boomers that, they DO know how to gab.

But anyway the point of this story is that my feelings were hurt by someone being annoyed for a few minutes and I was the villain. I could do nothing about it like I hate people in front of me in line with a burning passion when they have a ton of shit and you’re in a hurry only buying a few things and then she starts couponing or whatever or just needs to go back and grab one more thing holy hell if heads could explode mine would when that happens so NOW being that woman I felt like I deserved every outburst this Karen threw my way but like in a cowardly fashion she didn’t have the nerve to confront me yet hated my guts. She even looked at the young couple behind her for help and they just shrugged confused and looked at me so I stood there like a statue this was embarrassing me now it was just a really weird vibe all around. I feel lucky to be alive, privileged and blessed, so when I see other people having meltdowns it makes me sad. Too many feelings!

Karen drove a pristine blue BMW. She left her cart in the middle of the parking lot and peeled out of there, exhaust billowing behind in the cold dusk air. This took maybe four minutes of her unhappy life. There’s a lesson in here somewhere and if you find it, please let me know. Other than that a lot of us need anger management aide, people need to calm tf down better. And yes, she had a shitty haircut.

insert blog title

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Good LORD it has been awhile, “sorry” and you don’t care either way yo hello what is up? I guess we’ll do some sort of wrap-up catch-up now then.

It’s a gorgeous one out there today gonna fire this off super quick then hit the town. It’s going to be even hotter on the weekend. Righteous!

Sweet deal around the corner from us going on right now def grabbing again before it expires for good. It’s nice to take a night off from cooking too. Starting to make the same crap all the time it gets tiring too.

The party light came out Halloween night super trippy fun dance party playing lots of records.

This was THE scariest thing ever he jumps out at you all these amazing terrifying installations I’m talking PRO-level my GOD you must check it out next year these people are nuts like a whole row of them compete with their crazy scary houses it was bananas. Tarantulas on censors jump out at you oh man I hit the roof hahaha.

Made the randomest of costumes it came together alright we were hanging in our friend’s backyard and the temperature legit dropped and we had run out of firewood too these are thermal pants but started to get chilled to the bone which is why today’s hot weather is super interesting!

Got burritos crushed them by the lake on another cold as hell night windy spooky too cold to hang around too long though we try.

That wind off the lake bruh boy she strong from here on out I am going to just tell you the temperature of each picture.

Cute bunneh.

oh noes the feets ahh I die. Mike said you could pretty much just touch it so I was like okay but then the bunny definitely did NOT want that haha nice try.

Love it. All that sparkly Christmas extra-ness yessssssssuh.

Like obviously someone needs this in their house.

This is me blinking in Christmas land.

So many people messaged me about this place asking where it is what it is I am like bro can you handle it it’s Christmas old lady heaven in there plus farm animals AND a restaurant supermarket.

Omg I love this no shame or irony whatsoever.

*faints*. I think it’s the collector side to a person, the desire to possess trinkets and what-not.

I picked these up a little while ago they’re dead now am thinking of what I want next flowers cheer and class a place up, no?

Distorted because had to zoom in to capture all the lights-action. A phone upgrade would resolve this issue.

This one is my fav. The owner came out cos we were all milling around the property she said we scared her it was funny but I was also like well your front lawn is a horror show people gonna flock. Speaking of horror show, how bout that election hey? Yikes.

Dave Chappelle and Letterman. SO GOOD.

:)

That’s Barfy. We love him quite possibly her, I dunno I get boy vibes but he reckless so maybe then he’s a woman? Lol who knows. He’s been MIA the last couple visits so I hope all is good.

So fab.

Okay cashing out my chips now I bid you adieu we’ll meet again soon have a good one xo!

heard u were lookin for me

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Hello its been awhile. Thirteen days, to be exact. Which is a short while if you consider my infrequency yadda yadda ya. I’m ready if you are.

I felt like I was in the mood to blog yesterday and today but now here I am and uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Hey is that that “cell phone charger” purse everyone made fun of Kim Kardashian for not too long ago? I think it is or something thereof and now I want it… so small and compact, for all the clubbing that I do not do.

One Christmas, two ago, I showed up to my Nana’s wearing this and my mom was wearing a red plaid shift dress too. We have had this happen many times over the years it’s a cosmic like mother like daughter thing, with no prior planning or talking, it just happens.

This post is just an old fashioned smattering. Blogging for the sake of blogging. Blog and telling. Honestly, the good things that happen just from pressing publish here sometimes y’all might just try it for yourselves huh? Talk less shit and do more shit.

How to make friends: buy some.

Hi girls.

Bedridden all weekend basically movie after movie bender. We went out for Mr. Greek Sunday early night and it was DEAD. The soup sucked. The salad, okay.

I don’t mind the post apocalyptic vibe after watching infinity end of the world movies this weekend. This setting would be trashed if that were real. I know they hooked it up with Dollarama decorations as there was one in the parking lot and I used MY BRAIN.

Looked normal but was bland. Needed soup all the same ah suppose.

Not the best foodie photo in terms of subject.

On my walk home the other night. This store always has a cute display alack I’m not into clutter I have enough but I appreciate the artwork. We are drawn to things that remind us of things we once experienced or owned, another time period.

I’m blessed I don’t have a sweet tooth. I love photographing sweets though, decadent, colourful, darling confectionaries that they are. I can’t walk by a Fortino’s bakery showcase without getting whiplash on my phone camera arm capturing those bad boys fast enough. Stay tuned on this though I just recalled something I have coming down the pipeline for y’all regarding dessert.

I think this is the Kylie lipstick app. It’s basic. I dun curr.

My NEXT post will be about the ADVENTURES OF RAYMARIE. Get it? Marie and me? BYE BRANGELINA.

Big appreciator of the Burlington sunset game. It’s always gorgeous from the vantage point of this parking lot. It is the best I don’t care how much suburban shit is in the way.

Oh hi there you’ve been indoctrinated into the Burlington town club :).

I do it’s true. It stems from year’s back during my early hey day of emo selfies gazing into the lens trying to out-stare myself. I am the subject, I am the artist gazing back at. Some people have resting bitch face, me? Stoic. Because my mind is sizing up everything before me, calculating shit I is busy guy. I also admire the vacancy a la editorial aesthetic.

I love Toronto. You get to go on a magical Christmas adventure everywhere you turn.

Last week Monday and now she’s back in Mumbai honestly one of my greatest lesser known lowkey pals, cos of that whole doesn’t live here thing but we’re all huge fans. Come back soon!

Nostrils check. jk. I was just so tired-looking this day it seemed to be the only flattering angle to get me at. I worked at wework this day because a mystery package arrived of beautiful psychedelic lipsticks and sometimes the universe is like Raymi here, you need some more disco in your life and you are like yasss bitch!

This lipstain stays on hours so I don’t have to feel naked lipped like I normally am. It’s all in the details.

Yesturrrrrrday and I am okay with that.

Always take several variations of the same picture so as to ensure pissing off everybody.

Got these for my Dad lol. We should live in a society where we get paid for a brief review of every item we ever buy as to always be making money back. I’m not wrong. Like, if you wanted to know my thoughts about either of these things? You gotta pay for that even if it’s a shit review you get paid oh the things I would say about this grilled chicken pasta lean cuisine CRAP A LA CRAP right now. There is my brief review now put $1 into my account thanks bye hahaha.

Nana’s tree on fleek. Always is. Oh but if this tree could talk lol.

Sure I’m down you know it.

Work hallway.

Wedge salad I can still taste, think about, and will eat again.

This is the other bathroom at work it took me a few weeks to even discover. The other one is hella drab so I was like SWEET RELIEF when I discovered this one.

Oh hi there she is!

We shared mussels, the special. Two orders. Patrick from work was there too. It was a very chilly night.

And yes I was as I feel like I do nothing mostly, which is fine I don’t feel the burning sensation to show a non-stop cocktail party lifestyle full of fabulous shit I much enjoy the mundane simple pleasures blah blah but I do like to go out a wee bit to balance it out, the cold weather makes me feel claustrophobic from hibernation at times which makes Toronto ideal because there are just so many various pockets of entertainment for you to explore when you start climbing the walls.

Alright I get it, you get it? Have a good one!

i’m your villain

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Wagwan friends and foes, how’s your August? It’s just flyin’ by eh. Damn.

So this here is a blog post. One of the things I used to do to summarize this life I live and account for some kind of meaningful existence. I used to blog fiendishly around the age of 19 because it justified the partying I did when I lived on Crawford in Lil Italy, Toronto… the reckless behaviour everyone that age does and all of it is written down in this same blog if you can believe it.

I can remember about skipping the line at Mod Club when it was still at Lava lounge. Wednesday night was the night of the Mods in Toronto and Saturdays were Blow Up. I remember watching Esthero talk to the door guy from my spot in line and I said to myself, Raymi, when she fucks off go do the same. And I did. The door guys at Lava recognized me all the time and my annoying pushy ways so I always walked in when they’d wave me passed the peeps waiting in line. We all have had our Club 54 moments and some of us are better at remembering them than others, or bother to write about it.

I have been known to be dramatic. I have always romanticized the moments of my life. Chosen endeavours just so I could write about them or experience that weird thing. The problem is that there became too many things to write about, being so overwhelmed by that and guilted from the pile-up of things I didn’t write about… so you just social media instead. Blogs lost. Drat.

I know people out there still read because I read articles every day. I read the entire internet every day. I know what all the buzzfeed and jezebel news, pop culture, memes, celebrity breakups, deaths, disturbing breaking news stories are at all times my mind is so full of garbage, valuable and not and I am so caught up by it I don’t stop to reflect at all in fact, I crave it even more. Do you hit the hourglass on your twitter search? Well I do and that’s how you get the best fastest trending news.

Haha I love how I just bragged about reading the internet a lot. stfu raymi

I went rock climbing this week. was exhilarating. Lots of adrenaline and a great workout. Will do it again for sure. I am very competitive so if you are, you should give’r a go. We did another feature on Raymi Toronto too, check it out.

I am afraid of heights so I’m glad I could climb and put that thought out of my head. By the end of the class you’re climbing without the harness.

Don’t care how old I get a part of me will always stay young and childlike. Fun keeps you young, young looking, happy, feeling good, all that jazz. Being a miserable crab does you no good. I understand it’s hard for some people to be happy and enjoy their life, it’s partially mental illness for sure (and circumstance). You just have to keep trying. We all go through bad periods and we never think things will get better, but they do. You just can’t wish things to happen you need to take action. When you make changes that’s when good things happen. Change is good.

I think being kind of a goof is God’s doing of helping me self-preserve and protect myself from all you assholes out there. Then he sprinkled self confidence, a big mouth with a rich mind and some good looks c’est voila, work with that. Do I believe in God? I dunno. It’s like, just an expression haha. All our genetic make-ups, DNA, and personality styles that change with evolution and I don’t really know what I’m saying. Some are more cunning than others and most are said to be just, born stupid. Brainwashed masses ordinary types but who is actually smarter, them or us. Blissfully settled normal people or those who feel the pains of the world and try to do something, can’t sleep at night from anxiety and worry… but also know how to spell properly.

Saw my Hair guru Donna Dolphy yesterday and she made me pretty again.

We have a good time and then we hit the fatigue wall and just existed in silence together trying to get through the appt.

This is Dena my work friend we are both ADD meant to be. It’s a blast hanging out with her, talking and walking and girls gotta stick together we both work in boys clubs so, yeah. Luh her.

My bf says he likes leather pants so I tried some on to see what the fuss was about and if I even look good in them. 5lbs lighter, some toning, then we’ll talk.

The many musical minstrels in Toronto warm my heart. Check her out. Bravo and obviously so charming from this angle up here.

I am grateful for my life and everything in it which is why I give back as often as I can, give my time to others, and try to be selfless to balance out the good fortune.

This was after I sneaked up alone and took a selfie. Part of climbing is falling and learning how to land.

This was last Sunday. We aren’t going up this weekend cos we’re goin’ to a wedding elsewhere. Should be fun.

We went for tacos on Monday, good deal. Quality of food….ok for a “smallerish” town. The beef I was not impressed with it was ground like come on make effort. BF said get steak next time then. Agree.

I am in love with the heat right now and it did almost feel like a vacay… okay staycation I hope it stays hot for a long time. If you read my blog in August or September and October it’s the same shit every year you can hear how depressed I am, I mean READ how depressed I am about the weather changing. Oh you love fall? Why? it only leads to winter you idiot which lasts forever so STOP.

:)

Those are my safety shoes. I look like a waitress. Part of the fun of life are the costumes we wear and the manner in which we express ourselves. I like to walk softly and carry a big stick rather than overdo it glamwise. Once in awhile yes I love to dress up-UP like tomorrow I will wear two different outfits, one at the ceremony and one at the reception. I am worried about footwear though.

I asked our work neighbours across the hall to let me look out this window and see if it was raining yet then I had to take a picture I just love a good snoop, passing it along to you.

Dena took this she was like work the angles, and angle, click. Work the angle. And pose. We got it done!!!

The ghost image on the tree + doggy ftw.

that sky

The curls like instantly dropped. Too humid. Lovely while they lasted though.

ok we get it.

Okay that’s the last butt pic for awhile. I will state that I don’t feel it’s right to butt shame me I can’t help having an immaculate ass so much so that just seeing it invokes all kinds of emotions like, it’s my body it’s what I look like if my bathing suit is eaten by it it’s not my fault it’s just legs and ass grow up get over it it’s summer bye bye.

Okay I’ve had enough and you probably have too have a great weekend, don’t be a stranger and remember it’s not about what I look like it’s about the fun I am having.

Live your best life as they say.

BONUS POINTS if you can name the band who does the song that this blog post is titled as.

I’m a party girl in a party world

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Hey there it’s me I’m back to say what’s up and chat a little bit before I burn out on blogging again for the next couple weeks (months) haha. There have been a few changes since we last hung out. Where to begin? In the middle probably works although if you follow me on all my socials you’ll know what gwan already – here we just elaborate more.

Let’s start with work first. We have moved offices and so far so good so awesome. It’s not too far from where I live I can just bike all the way up Sherbourne and be a sweaty mess by the time I get to Bloor BUT I get chiseled in the torso from pedaling, using my whole body and then on the way home it’s a chill-ass free fall going down south pretty easy. You heard about the bike deaths happening lately in Toronto don’t worry I am a good cyclist, I know the roads, and I don’t listen to music I am fully-alert. I think cars SHOULD slow down and chill the fuck out, there have been days when streetcars or a vehicle whomever is behind the wheel will want to race me and let me know they got around me only for me to beat them again and again just goes with the flow of traffic/congestion and bikes being able to get around like fuck off guy let me live my life and get out of your way we can all get along, right?

Something nice I did today happened as a little boy came walking down the stairs to the subway and passed me as I just got off, he was going really slow and I said to him, you can still make it – I knew the train was still there. He knew what I meant and then beat it all the way down the stairs where he no doubt got onto that subway train. I bet he was like, that lady was so nice wow and then he did something nice for someone else too hopefully. Sometimes, often times, I will say hi to strangers, randoms, cashiers, wish them a nice day or simply smile at them when I know they’re not happy and probably no one has acknowledged them as human beings like all day so I take it upon myself to be the light. Many times I can be depressed and stuck in a particular head space and it would be nice to have like everyone shine positive attention on me for a few minutes but then there are times I am like fuck off please so it’s up to you to know the difference and good luck with that.

Date night last week and I am unapologetically happy as heck because I have been boyfriend-hunting for the right one for too long now. We are fortunate that we were set up on a date by his father and we instantly connected. I am gaga right now. I love that Ariana Grande is also in a whirlwind romance right now too I can relate just block the haters out.

This is the outfit I chose to make an impression including sexy heels from my mom. My mom gave me the skirt it’s a bit big maybe I can shrink it. I showed up a bit late and it had started pouring rain, the restaurant was packed and I had to walk through the entire thing to get to their special table everyone’s head turned like a Julia Roberts who is that moment. I still have my coat check tab because we were the last ones in the restaurant and I just walked behind the curtain to get my raincoat for myself. After the date we got on the phone immediately I think he texted first and we were just totally grinning high on life I was invited to the cottage the next day as you know I went up and the rest is history.

I jumped off a 30 foot rock into the lake landing the way you do not want to land and learned a valuable lesson to point my toes when people tell you to do so, it’s more than a suggestion – it felt like hitting cement and yes it was embarrassing. My bruise is just about healed two weeks later. A girl was too scared to jump so I went up there to support although I knew I’d chicken out too and I won’t be doing that again until I practice off of less-high rock faces.

This is from Tuesday and these are some pretty important people to me, the work fam. Send off drinks for Evan whom will be missed but change isn’t the end of the world.

I tried for a Madonna look and realized it was not really work appropriate although my personality and confidence can help be part of the outfit therefore it doesn’t matter what I wear. I am stubborn and go by the beat of my own drum so it takes awhile to penetrate. My laundry in my building has been out of order for weeks and I am starting to lose my fucking mind they tell me today it will be good which means my life will be laundry for the next few days.

There he is.

When we can’t see each other we text when we can and now facebook video message. It’s nice to have a balance and someone who wants to do shit with you and you don’t have to chase. We are a good fit.

The benefits of being happy are so many. You look better and well, you’re happy. Relaxed. The hunt is over. Tired of dating people and you know within a second they’re not the one and you’re not the one and then you’re like is it ever gonna happen for me? Let’s be real, I am 35. I have definitely thought for awhile like ok am never gonna have a kid now great I will be a bitter woman for the rest of my life and look at kids and babies longingly and then go home and scream into a fucking pillow.

Another benefit is inspiration. When I am content I can blog. It centers me. I need a muse and that’s that. Empty posts of dating and dining is shallow and makes me sad and you start to take everything for granted you don’t enjoy the spoils because you’re using them to fill a void a lack of love in your life. Also, my blog post title is clearly a play on Barbie girl, which, I may be as well. It was a joke reference I made earlier this week to a work friend and then I said I will make my next blog post title that. If I have a title it’s all I need to start one up. When I sit down to write I have a general idea of what I will say here but my mind is a crazy circus most often times it’s a mystery to me too what’s gonna come out next.

I took a few days off drinking a couple weeks ago because I did not like who I was becoming and that tiny little change really helped me and then something good happened. I guess it’s true, everything you want is on the other side of fear. I still want sober days and to be better, get healthier so I will.

<3.

Hummingbirds I mean, come on. Swoon.

We kayaked and it was very magical. I’ll be getting a siamese cat tattoo on my back right shoulder next window I get.

If you know what the Hell this is please let me know. He visits a lot. All the bugs that fly at me cos of my hair or whatever startle me and I shriek and then people are like good grief. Okay sorry I can be dramatic but wouldn’t you be if a June bug flew at your mouth and head and then another giant moth and then THIS MOTH too? Okay I will upload the video as evidence and you can decide if it’s worthy of screaming.

I think you know what my vote is.

This coat tho.

This dog tho.

Of course I chose the Dubble Bubble as it’s one of my many nicknames (no it isn’t).

Working across from the Bay will slay (my wallet).

I have a hat thing. If you want to donate toward it I will gladly accept.

On sale for 11 bucks. Get your Canada Day swag in time my fellow Canucks and don’t forget to buy Canadian.

We went hiking + cave exploring in Collingwood and it was beautiful. I’m hyper-active I need to be taken on walks, hikes, drives, dinners, etc etc so this suited me just fine.

Love the digs here we have two floors to play around on.

This is my bestie Marie she did my nails and leant me these pants to bike home in. She is a very supportive gf, positive, and helpful. I am very grateful to have her in my life she is as smart and compassionate as she is beautiful.

I wore bike booty shorts this day and it was freezing cold out I am an idiot sometimes just don’t tell anyone. I look forward to my next chrome nail manicure Marie!

We have matching Unicorn lipsmackers obviously.

What time was this taken at? I know, but do you?

The bruise was just forming here ok ttyl gotta go have an excellent day and weekend to be continued…