the cd drive for my laptop opens whenever the hell it wants to and it makes me psychotically angry and insane so much that i make my hands into fists and leave the room for five minutes so my eyes don’t explode out of my head and my hair sets on rage fire.

when we’re uploading cds to itunes the cd will almost be done and then click it opens and you have to start all over and fil has a hissy fit and i try and be all cool about it but then i go into the bedroom and furiously pick at my body and rip out my hair.

if this cd tray opens one more time i am going to cry like a little girl.

had three pretty fucked up dreams in a row, i was in china or something and i couldn’t walk properly at this hoity toity party and i kept making everyone spill their drinks in their laps and this dog was attacking me and these snotty rich kids were suppose to drive me to the airport but instead of listening to me they were making fun of me and my outfit.

mary-kate and ashley olsen are going to be at muchmusic today. swooooooon! i totally wanted to go but no one else did. they air it at 6. can’t. wait. so gay i know but whatever. it’s less gay than paris hilton being there.

i’ve been watching a ton of shitty movies lately, little black book being one starring brittany murphy. i use to be all about her quirks and retarded laughing but now it’s just like what the fuck? second was raise your voice, hillary duff. awful, just awful. just because certain movies are free on VOD doesn’t mean you should watch them. then there’s new york minute and as cheesy as it is i still love it so shut up. i also watched a mandy moore movie not too long ago but i don’t remember the name. she had a bad haircut and an addiction to christmas booze chocolates and her friend gets knocked up. feh.

i am in no way proud of any of this, it was friday night and fights are stupid, you can punch the guy 10 times but you still get corked once. it hurts your mouth and anyway i punched the guy a lot of times but got punched much more than this. it happened so late on friday with my best friend since we were 3, whiskey + various drugs consumed and a dying party. i think he kicked my guitar in the back and i suppose i would have punched him in the neck, that’s how it would have started. it happened on a place called the stoop which is really just a stairway leading to a house. we went toe to toe for a while but i wound up on a the lower stair and literally saw total white flashes, also i’m kinda small and he’s pretty fat. and taller. we made another drink after and there was some commotion so i hid the blood away in my hat and hair because my sister couldn’t look – she sees blood then faints, but we all had a good laugh about it. the next day my nose was sort of crooked.

okay a phone call w/ joe just verifies that he did kick my guitar and it was because i turned the doors off – we were gettin yappy after that and we talked about fighting but apparently i just shot the shit normally until my smoke was done and then turned on him, snakey-like. that’s not good. i didn’t even see my guitar through all this, i just remember a friend telling me that she got kicked and was broken. i was distraught.

love ryan

i fucking hate everybody who reads jen‘s blog. everything she says and does is critisized to no end and for what, because gosh gee she is married to matt and oh no now your chance of marrying matt is nil. the funny thing about being friends with them is all the fucking trolls that have come over here and to fil’s blog cos they want to leech off someone who knows someone who is friends with somebody who once hung out with matt good. fucking a. do you know how much of a loser you are to go and verbally attack the wife of someone you are a fan of in their blog which has nothing to with you whatsoever? jen’s blog is fun fluff like my blog and most people’s and she is ‘dissed time and time again.

i bet if she were fat and ugly you guys would be nice to her you fucking wannabe fascist piece of gay plaid wearing hicks with shitty blogs who think hanging out in your parent’s livingroom with ten friends playing cards on a saturday nite is the shit.