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Am I the A**hole here

Screenshot 2023-03-29 090111

Well, I certainly hope that this story I’m about to share is worthy of you precious people’s times and I don’t come out looking like an asshole for even bothering telling it at all. A lot of my favoured (by people) blog posts are the ones in which I am in conflict or have strong bitchy opinions about some slight that happened out there in the mean streets so I’m just gonna go with it.

Went grocery shopping the other day, grabbed some essentials, pies that were on special, a cucumber, hummus, gingerale, avocados, tostitos blah blah. Now, I’m in a small town where the lighting in this charming local supermarket is very yellow, NO ONE is around, there’s just a few customers here and there no big rush all chill-paced one would think. I can even smell the place right now just typing about it, it’s oozing with smalltown market vibes. Which is unfortunate because I am about to ruin everything about that.

I am majorly impatient. I can’t deal with lines. I am constantly hedging my bets in terms of timing when I will be approaching that check-out. I saw a guy come in and noticed a few minutes later he was already checking-out and I was like NICE this will be a slice.

The lay-out of this rinky-dink store is claustrophobic and by the time I was making my way to the aisles I required I felt like I was in a maze that was getting progressively smaller and once I finally sling-shot around to make my way out I had come down some diagonal corridor where the pops were wedged in all WTF-like you just gotta see it yourself you’ll know what I mean.

Also, I will note that we are in a recession right now it’s safe and horrible to say like people are stealing groceries these days and booze more so than ever, it’s all going up. I mention this because I am a born cheapskate/deal hunter, creative in my purchases with what I will blow and what I’ll scrimp on nahhm sayin’ so you best believe my pies were 50% off about to expire (plus they were delicious!) and my avocados were two for $4 and my hummus was also on sale 2 for $8 and would you think this lone teenage girl cashier had all that properly scanned in without me having to direct her the entire time? absofuckinglutely not.

Now. As previously stated I have zilcho patience I am basically a Karen-in-disguise but with compassion and moments of clarity like I do not wig out in supermarkets I am as the kids say, “chill”. However, the ACTUAL Karen in-line behind me had none of those qualities. Oh here we go I just knew she was gonna blow a fucking gasket when I looked at the screen and said, “those avocados are 2 for $4″ lol.

Bear in mind I am wearing my black cat ears cap turned backwards my dickies plaid hick jacket and jogging pants. I look very backwoods I ain’t got time for that big city fashions nonsense. I am a tall, confident woman. I have “an energy” about me like I would not fuck with me if I saw me, you know? This Karen would not stare me in the eye once during this entire ordeal yet she had a full body temper tantrum every time I spoke to the cashier. Of course my hummus wasn’t coming up with the sale price so the girl has to walk all the way to produce/bakery section and retrieve it which is when I locked my gaze on Karen and wouldn’t look away. She didn’t look at me once but was huffing and puffing like no other. At the penultimate moment of another girl opening up a lane this Karen literally stomped her feet with her hands in fists over how annoyed she was about having to move her granola bars and whatever the crap over to the newly-opened lane. Like, if you just took a few calm deep breaths and laid back a minute we will be done here shortly and you could just stay here but nope.

Is it my fault I chose three things that the manager hadn’t yet inputted into the system? No. Is it my fault that we are in a recession therefore I bought those particular items purposely even though all my shit still came out to $42. This is why there’s self checkout now I am sure some people just literally have no clue how to do social interaction justice like in the good ol days. I will give boomers that, they DO know how to gab.

But anyway the point of this story is that my feelings were hurt by someone being annoyed for a few minutes and I was the villain. I could do nothing about it like I hate people in front of me in line with a burning passion when they have a ton of shit and you’re in a hurry only buying a few things and then she starts couponing or whatever or just needs to go back and grab one more thing holy hell if heads could explode mine would when that happens so NOW being that woman I felt like I deserved every outburst this Karen threw my way but like in a cowardly fashion she didn’t have the nerve to confront me yet hated my guts. She even looked at the young couple behind her for help and they just shrugged confused and looked at me so I stood there like a statue this was embarrassing me now it was just a really weird vibe all around. I feel lucky to be alive, privileged and blessed, so when I see other people having meltdowns it makes me sad. Too many feelings!

Karen drove a pristine blue BMW. She left her cart in the middle of the parking lot and peeled out of there, exhaust billowing behind in the cold dusk air. This took maybe four minutes of her unhappy life. There’s a lesson in here somewhere and if you find it, please let me know. Other than that a lot of us need anger management aide, people need to calm tf down better. And yes, she had a shitty haircut.

19 thoughts on “Am I the A**hole here

  1. It’s almost like some people exhausted their patience with others during the pandemic and now when we all need it most because everybody and everything everywhere is fucked up, it’s not there. I decided a while ago to go limp, as it were, accept that none of us are at our best right now and use times like you describe here to show the way. It’s not passive aggressive (I don’t think) but I think I would’ve smiled at “Karen” and joked “Sorry, if I’d known I’d’ve let you go first.” But I’m on a low dose of what’s basically Prozac too so… Your outfit sounds pretty stylin’ actually. You’re basically a model and can wear anything though. Lucky! I don’t buy hummus anymore. It goes off before I remember to eat it. And avocados have become too stressful, hitting those few seconds of perfection. Fuck it. Done with them. Avocados are so over for me they may as well be raisins. Anyway, we’re ALL the asshole. Obviously my reaction in your situation would be so Gandhi-like as to justify “Karen” turning Mike Tyson on me and biting off my ear. Your reaction, though, may have taught her YOU could do a Mike Tyson and bit off HER ear. We’re all entitle to our feelings, one way or t’other. (T’other is my new “whatevs”.)

  2. When I was young there used to be beautiful stores that sold everything…you know the rest!

  3. it’s like grocery shopping is going to war u never know what’s gonna get launched your way. also this supermarket is in town we dont normally shop there as prices are higher so its like a special shameful treat to be in there at all so tensions get high. i beat her to the cash-out no apologies needed HAD she looked at me I would have shrugged an apology her way.

  4. I consider deal-hunting a sport at this point, so I know every cashier and person in line behind me hates my guts, but I regularly walk out of stores paying zero dollars for $50 worth of stuff. Which usually amounts to about four items lately, so no, I’m not about to stop. Thank jebus for self-checkouts and in-store pickup and digital coupons, I can mostly avoid holding up a line. I’m not TRYING to aggravate anyone, but dammit, I’m getting my free bacon (later today, maybe)! I have no patience for people in front of me doing the same thing, but at least I disguise it since I know it’s a me problem. Maybe I’m just a better actor than people like that? Somehow I don’t think that’s it.

    And of course she didn’t put her cart back :/

  5. omg u are 100% speaking my language here Candice. We just can’t win. but we try. how are u getting free bacon?? You’re in the states ya?

  6. As always, you can write about anything and make it sound relatable & interesting & funny. Good to know you are shopping for bargains, a beneficial skill in these times. You can tell a lot about a person, the way they handle lineups. The last time you and I went shopping at the Bay I had a Karen slap me with her coat as she wished by in a huff wearing a mean face. All because the clerk put me before her. I ignored her steely gaze knowing she had assaulted me with her coat thinking, has society gone crazy? You had me laughing at shitty haircut.

  7. You would of had a yell fest with her which is what she probably wanted. My real name is Karen. Who knew one day it would mean difficult person.

  8. yes @raymismom she is lucky i didnt find her. Karen was a fancy name back in the day yet still, i wasnt buying it. sounds basic to me. always did. haha.

  9. I’ve had similar experience, several times. One time I couldn’t afford my groceries so I had to put some items, back. A sign of the times. This dink in line behind me starts hymning and hawing. I turned and asked if they had a fuckin problem? People are just inconsiderate and self centered. Along as their family has everything fuck everyone else. Unfortunately I’m too gangster to let peoples big mouths slide. Also contributes to my road rage. You did nothing wrong. That bitch can go stuff an avocado up her ass if she can get the stick out of it first. Lol

  10. You are most certainly not the asshole here, that lady obviously had some other shit going on because you certainly didn’t do anything wrong, and it’s not like you went through with a giant cart load of sale shit. It always sucks when people can’t have a little patience, and even if you are sometimes on the opposite side of that coin, at least you can see that it’s not the best reaction. Something tells me this lady isn’t aware enough for that.

  11. You didn’t even yell at her. You were cool while she lost it.
    No way you’re the AH.
    In fact, you were perceptive of what was going on with the villain of the story, that shows empathy, and says something good about you.

  12. this is the greatest blog ever written. A tale for the ages. RAYMI IS THE BEST! I gave her 1 dollar and she made change with 2 quarters and 5 dimes – NO PENNIES! she is a legendary – allllll legs no dairy, but her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.
    I love you. Be my friend.
    I have a birthday present for you!!! Call your mother!

  13. I also lol’d at the shitty haircut finale. A well written tale of something we’ve all either experienced or witnessed, sorry you had at blasted at you. You are entitled to your avocados, especially at that price. A grown woman having a full body temper tantrum is for suuure a spoiled little girl who cannot handle not getting her way. So pathetic! Grocery stores: the great equalizer.

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