sour grapes written by mumraymi.

his favourite pasttime was tormenting me about other young girls

really into wild on

and ed the sock (which shows how juvenile he is)


pointing out other womens body parts

internet pornography

telling me he wanted to get a pool so his daughter would bring all her friends over and taking her to wonderland to get her to point out the biggest asses

checking out my friends younger daughters

in nyc telling me he was in the best bowling league because he had the young ladies on his team

telling me he was sitting beside a beautiful woman on the plane

undressing other women with his eyes while we were out

looking at a photo at his friends before we went to the comedy club and asked if she was single

told the ladies he was single at the new years party we went to

finally I just stopped going out anywhere with him

And with all that i just glanced at a guy on rollerblades once because i am not like him and he never let me forget it

how’s that for a wonderful boyfriend

and here’s the clincher

he jumped on top of raymi on the couch on christmas eve because he is socially awkward and thinks innuendos are what raymi is about only

he said finally we are alone and dove on her she told me she was numb with depression at the time and very uncomfortable by him doing this so she pity chuckled and left the room

did you have a nice walk back to your car

ps what the fuck is wrong with blogger or is it my laptop? someone gave it aids. i am never cut and pasting from haloscan again – raymi.

there is my boyfriend but we never talk and he doesn’t know my name or that i breathe and the last thing i said was your music’s shite it keeps me up all nite up all nite and then noel gallagher wrote it in his song and liam sang it kuz he hadn’t yet discovered the art of the tambourine. i’m kidding. tambourining isn’t art.

that’s the killers show. hihii.

that is squid viscious. if you want any shit on raymi, he gots it, though he is my uncle and he shoots people so it might be hard getting it out of him. we were pretty awful to each other sometimes but now we are friends again (despite him sexing a hundred girls of mine) and we get one another.

we have a lot of baggage with each other. if you hurt him i will be mad. but like it is with sibling-love, raymi can shit on him all she wants, but if notraymi does it, it is not ok. like sister of adam sandler in punch drunk love. i love her.


dear kiki

you made me cry ‘cos you ditched me for a 16 year old and i was being selfish and a periodpants bitch to you but still i never see you and i come out of my way to see you and you hurry me out of the bar when i bump into summa my geekfriends who coulda given me a lift back to my town after giving me a handful of shots and a trashcan of beer and you shoo me out and then you say ok well bye i’m going to boink this little frighead.

so i lost it in the parking lot and you said fuck you and i said YEH FUCK YOU IS RIGHT! and walked away and u went lauren lauren come on all sad and yer friend that got his balls bit by a dog who was 17 was like let her go let her go and then me and shawnraymi drove to your work next day and you weren’t there, big surprise.

and i go where is kiki and they go she was suppose to be here and i said dont worry i KNOW where she is and we drove to 16 year old sketchbag’s house who your older brother use to date the trashbag sister of, my god what a town we come from, anyway, we scared you and brought you home.

and then we fought with little brother and he took the 26er shawnraymi got for you and i lost it on the little dirtbag and said i would punch him in the fucking face if he called you a bitch again and he said get out of my house and i said this is more my house than it is yours and he was like whaaaat? long story, blog readers.

so we all need fixing to do on ourselves. i think shawnraymi is the only one who can help yer bro, you know this, i know this.

i was mean to gord. i said this is how big your game is and put my thumb and pointer finger together really small and he thought i was talking about his pee pee and i threw, sorry, shoved him in the bushes a lot and he was hitting on mumraymi hmm what else, hitting on everyone in front of everyone and i was like yer dumb but apologized for being mean. i can’t help being mean and mindfucking people who hit on me kuz i don’t know how to deal when i’m getting drunk and not prepared for it.


i was so happy to see jackie and stacey!

that jamie guy though, i know a girl he use to date here of three years. pffft. im like u got a 19 year old girlfriend don’t pretend that you don’t and he is all that blond girl over there is hitting on me and now not one of them will talk to me now that they see me with you. he was trying to make me jealous and i said good go for it i wanna see how much game you have. obviously none kuz he didn’t go over to her. he’s like yeh i would do her in the bathroom and i said cool story.

dick’s can lick my balls capitan.

i also professed my desire to have sex with rena and said i probilly laid more girls than you anyway and she agreed.

please don’t make me get in fights with gangs of black girls for you, that’s selfish honey, don’t put me in that position.

oh and i got a raymi-spotting! tho dude didn’t know shit about raymi i don’t think. he was at the killers concert on the patio with us, this cute little blondie hipster thing and his voice got all high when he talked to me and jamie goes did you hear how high his voice got i hate him and i said good then he is my new boyfriend, leave me alone and he even asked me where i went every five minutes and cock-blocked me on the dancefloor.

ok i have to take my crazy pills now but i love you and i want you to come here for a little while and not see that 16 year old fleabag and i want you to straighten the fuck out and come to yoga.

i like when you stuff your bra.



there is no worse enemy than the one incapable of knowing why they may be wrong.

this world, i tell you.

i appreciate this anger. generally, jealousy alludes me. i just get pissed-off.

everyone here is an artfag and a boy and i am just a girl.

no one looks at her face.

subdued, oblivious-like yet very much aware of my surroundings.

no one sits with her.

no one talks to her.

‘cept for that ugly fag.

running wild dreaming until your eyeballs pop.

this is not my beautiful house.

where is all them ladies?

everyone is just so darn eager to listen ‘cos they know it’s their turn to talk next.

tapping my feet to kid a and dunning out my ashes in this pretty terracotta tray – handmade from mexico. im at jetfuel, alone at my sliver-topped, wooden-framed table. ahh. i hope i locked the door.

release me. you can keep the furniture.

i want to find a bed to crawl in and sleep away the rest of these days. can you help me out with that?

that was a wistful tune.

you need to be touched


and held

you need to feel

my gaze

on your neck

you need to

turn your head


you need to

hold my



my everything

you need to sit

still with me

you need to

hug me

we are all slaving for causes we don’t believe in, collectively getting nowhere.

mike just put pepper in his coke, what a maroon.

why don’t you just get the fuck over it!? i can’t do this if your heart belongs to someone else!

he sits in the sunstreaked window of the coffeeplace waiting for his friend he wants us to think will eventually show up.

i dont even like espresso im just happy to sit here.

let your children play.

different girls wearing the same shoes sitting beside one-another in the cafe.

i lie in an early bed.

have you ever worked for the hydro? no. well, you turn me on kid.

you should be happy that you are not a stereotype.

mr.bob, we would like to have a speakyweaky with you.

certainly. but do so at the risk of further exposing your ignorance of proper conversational skills.

aporia – perplexity

a momentuous waste of time.

i am in the wrong place. i should be elsewhere, wishing i was here instead.

and now i am leaving you mother, for you are my weakness.

i am not a target market.

where you are from feels sort of irrelevant these days – since everyone has the same stores in their mini-malls.

celebrities die.

dead at 30 buried at 70.

shopping is not creating.

monsters exist.

bench press your iq.

remember earth clearly.

you are your own sex.

purchased experiences don’t count.

i’m not worth looking at twice today.

so today is kristi’s party it was suppose to be a surprise but i guess someone blew it. i called her and she is all are you coming tomorrow and i’m uh coming where? trying to be dumb and she goes for my party and i’m – oh i don’t knoooow there is a party? and she just starts laughing and says i am an idiot. i love kristi and i am loving putting her gift together and going man she is going to love this big pile of junk kuz she is hand-me-down-syndrome raymi. she actually has an aunt with down syndrome too. she’s the shit.

i use to date one of kristi’s cousins way way back when. me and kristi aren’t actually cousin’s ps so don’t go ew gross cousin-dater even tho that’s so hot right now. yah and my mum wasn’t down with me dating the dude kuz his dad was a junky and thought i’d get diseases so we never got to see each other save for like twice over a month. our relationship was talking on the fone and going this is what i wore to school today i am HOT. i think i was in grade seven at the time and he was a year older.

so one day we finally hung out and i let him feel me up with his dorky friend riding around on his bike. the ugliest guy in the world too. and then not two hours later he dumped me over the fone to brooke and brooke called me and i FLIPPED and three-way called his ass and i listened in and i was going to self-destruct. i felt so used and shitty and flat-chested kuz that’s what he said and what was worse was that i sneaked out to see him and got in shit for it and he had his dirty white trash paws on me.

he might even be there today.

kristi’s older brother (not the younger criminal one) was my childhood-neighborhood boyfriend. we use to kiss in the closet on the floor and fart on each other and laugh and play house and i was the mom and he went to work and the whole theme of the game was i had to kiss him before bed and before and after work but i was always afraid and didnt want to and got nervous so i’d make us tell knock knock jokes til i got up the courage and then finally i pecked him on the cheek and i was like i am suffocating up here in this fort in your basement and i’d go on my bicycle to the park.