i love fugue magazine i’ts like the new VICE but different because you get to pay for it and it is thicker and the articles are written not like they were written by me, lazy with run-on sentences and it’s based in la and as far as i know not established by pissed-at-the-world, we have all the answers because we are canadians and this is what cool is so nya nya nya types. though i love VICE still, but fugue, ooooooh i wanna sex you up. if u are smart about it you can get the first issue now and say i had the first issue when the magazine succeeds or when the magazine fails. for all i know they are canadian i haven’t even read the whole magazine yet kuz there is so much to look at and you know that whole living-thing and doing other stuff with myself gets in the way.

and also they reference canada too it’s not all about nyc and the scene wherever that is suppose to be.

- raymi the hosen scheisser

i forget about all the pictures i have. i liked this one because it reminds me of how eccentric i think i am, pretend to be. wearing a scarf according to people ’round here, is pretty ballsy, pretty “out-there” like woah, totally, especially if it is plaid and the shirt is striped. fuck that i know how to co-ordinate color schemes and pull that shit together and even if it doesn’t go for you, for me, it DOES. i will wear ten scarves at the same time and wear scarf jackets and gloves and you hAVE to be seen with me, ok! and when i wore that outfit with the scarf to the “coolest” spot in town this girl came up to me and said i was the hottest girl there and i was like that’s fucking RIGHT! and then i fell into a bunch of people and blamed it on them. heh.

i like apologizing for when people bump into me, like willy the wimp.

did anyone ever read that book? me and jason thorne my very good black friend from grade one fucking loved that book. willy the wimp was a skinny little monkey-nerd who got picked on by these big gorillas who throw him in a trash can and when he walked down the street he bumped into a pole and said sorry to it. ehh. and he had a bowtie and a big head and a sweater-vest (ha noel!) and cuorduroy pants.

so one day he sends away for these dumbbells and starts pumping iron and jogging and he gets all burly as shit and he sees the scarey bully gorillas and they are scared of him but willy the wimp doesn’t turn all mean and vengeful even though he could kick them asses, he stays true to his charm and hospitality and they are all friends in the end.

i woulda slapped the shit out of them at least a little bit before being nice and friends. but i’d like to think i wouldn’t slap anyone, only if they asked me to.

yay me and james hung like chicken from strings and i told him all this crazzy shit about my life since we saw’re each other last and he is like oh. well, i was in a hot tub naked once with my girlfriend and some other people? his brother is a christian. nufsaid.

dadraymi and i are gonna see a movie tomorrow. cheap tuesdays rulesdays. i’m always like yeh one student please, pfffffffffft. and then girl is like ok what school do you go to and i’m like uh ahh ok i was lying but then gives me student price anyway. rn thought that was pretty funny. i was just so dumb with fatigue and sadness to even think of what my old highschool’s name was.

so drug/booze-counselling was good. i left there feeling pretty zzz but good my counsellor’s other person didn’t show up so we went outside for a smoke. i am bringing shawnraymi next appointment too. it’s good.

yoga was good though i was a bit scatter-brained for it and there are just some things i can’t do properly ‘cos my body is funky and trained to move in different ways, danseur ways. i even brought my ballet slippers.

i thanked the yoga inslutster afterward.

james saw this one woman wipe out on her bike outside the place and i was all oh man that’s the limberest woman in my class. her sandal got caught on her peddle and she had chain grease on her fingers. i’m like who are you, me?

blythe likes cemeteries she tole me.

a sub is on its fine-ass way to me and then i’m gonna fagboard into your hearts on these mean streets kuz i’m just a po-girl tryin’ to make it in this world.

nah what ahm sayin’ sumpin sumpin?

then i’m gonna fag out yoga styles.

“i know i believe in me, i am i am.”

when me and aimee went to yoga last week the way it ended was all new-agey gayness, like it was all silent and people just left. pfft. i thought we might be too crazy for yoga but we were mature and didn’t look at each other too much except for upside-down in the mirrors and when i almost fell over during one position thing-thang.


aimee asked if the woman asked my permission to touch me and she didn’t, she just touched away, but she asked aimee for permission. that’s prolly kuz it says i am a whore you can touch me long time on my forehead.

that’s aimee on the skirtbike. sorry charlie’s angel’s II! tim just wants her kuz she looks like a jewbroad.

this is aimeetheminx. she is wicked hot and hotter and looks like a porno when she wears her bikini. if you know her you love her. if you don’t love her i’ll punch you or say something that only i think is funny or condescending or i won’t say it at all to you i’ll say it to aimee and she’ll go bwuahuhuhuh that IS funny. like the time we bumped into amazon blond fakelesbian and she made aimee feel bad for being amazing and wasted and having raymi in her pocket singing songs about bitches and porn and aids and being girls gone wild. amazon woman you have dumb hair and me and aimee can fit us both at the same time in your jeans. cokeslut.

im starving. mum wake up and feed me. i will go wake you up in a minute because we have to work out. i love working out dude. i love running on the treads going woooht wooht hoooAH to the music! and all the ladies are on the eliptical looking at me in the mirror funny and i am like sorry thunderthighs i’m skinny, don’t hate me kuz ya ain’t me!


i swear they pump all the good songs once i’m done cardio and i go oh man wtf.

today me and mums are going to the drugplace and i will finally say the trooths of the trooths and i am actually looking forward to it this time kuz i’ll be, remember the last time when i said this and this and this well really THIS and THIS and THIS is what i was trying to convey and now i’m not hoarding secrets for myself or others anymore.

my strength is scarey.

even though i could only push you over when you were already on the floor in the crouch position.

today you are fourteen years old and i remember your birth like it was oh, but yesterday. i held you in my arms as you spittled down your chin and said, “beer me.”

you are my clone.

you are the bluntest funniest blunt and you roll your eyes a lot and your cds are a mess like mine and it’s my favorite when the best songs skip anyway.

you tole the POD he had the worst haircut during truth or dare jenga and i pissed down my leg. not ‘cos he does have the worst hair but out of us he does, for obvious reasons because it is not long and lustrous and flowing like a river. sorry POD, it’s still pretty nice though.

most of my clothes look better on you.

you had a spazz-attack, i had a scarier one, and i think we are still friends.

just come back soon so i can re-gift you some raymithings. i miss you and the rentme-stolen bicycle needs a reason to be ridden into your floozy little heart again.

You’re pretty and i miss you. happy birthday. let’s make a aimeeraymibaby. it would tool the world.


i cleaned the whole damn house today but once it got time for dishes all i could do was go meh and fill the sink and slam them all in there. im pretty tired now. at least i wasn’t hung over today. i want to go to lasertag and go-karts.

it is cousin kristi’s 19th bday soon there’s a surprise party for her this week. i’ll just give her a bunch of slutty clothes that don’t fit me anymore or i don’t wear and i’ll give her back her fake von dutch hat, wait, no i won’t. last time she was here her button flew off her jeans and i go man you really ARE fatter and she is all oh thanks lauren and i’m what what what? oh right, that was not a nice thing to say. i can’t help bossing her around and shit, it’s just the way we work together. i talk shit to her and she does it right back. her little brother is a friggin’ criminal and is finally banned from school and he dresses like a junky and i bet he’s on the white devil kuz he is awful skinny and he does have fly-off-the-handle, coke-style rages. kristi tole me she stomped on him with high heels once. that’s pretty funny.