Dear nick,

i am a friend of raymi’s, and she asked me to give you some help.

Since you have been with your GF for 3 years, she might be explorering

different options. The human mind is wired to cheat, we are ment to

spread our seed and to procreate. You should confront her on this,

just ask her. Dont be accusing, but most of the time a man gut

instinct is ussually right, and of course if you should have the same

rights as her. You deserve to know the truth, and deserve to be

sleeping around if she is too. I am sorry that a 3 year relationship

has turned to this, honesty is the key to every relationship. Sit her

down and talk to her about this immediatly, cause is she is sleeping

around, she could be spreading diseases to you also.

here’s the thing about gmail and why it’s kinda gay

blogger and google teamed up

and theyre like hey everyone get gmail kuz u get a gig of space and DONT DELETE ANYTHING why would u want to because u have ALL THIS SPACE?

gmail, why are you asking me a question?

you are an email account, you do not have artificial intelligence, no machine can have intelligence of its own, other than the intelligence that humans give to it so basically we are making these things that one day, yes, will turn on us and stuff but whatever, we won’t be alive then anyway, unless science hurries the fuck up and cures everything now, period.

the point is, eventually gmail will cost money. and right now us blogger idjits have crazy invites to pass out, fuck that, i am keeping mine and inviting my cat or inviting gmail to start it’s own gmail account.

yah hello, not yet version 1.0

i’m onto you.

yes i would like to delete everything forever because i don’t want ten trillion emails that you have decided so nicely to organize for me because you think i am an idiot and cannot do it myself, moreover, your hacker little hiries going thru my shit, no thank you.

fuck you, robot, even tho i love you.

and in summation, bill gates, when can i have a job?

From: bryan garcia

To: Raymi Lauren
Subject: i drank your cool aid

Date: Tue, 24 Aug 2004 19:40:21 -0700 (PDT)

No proposals at the funeral for mass graves.

Back before there were fisticuffs made of trembling threats

and screaming epithets like you were minorities,

I was hardened to neurotic and strung out accusation.

Defending peace for the lay of the land I surveyed,

was like feudalism, middle-aged dark ages.

There were plagues streaking naked across your land

infecting people I told were “safe”.

These empty promises burned my cross,

and the little folks made a play for the safety of revolt.

Storm troopers were dispersed to the scene,

and with nary a rubber bullet or psychological sound weapon,

speaking to the disquieted masses.

And we sought compromise through reform.

I became the new broom, with a platform of fascism and dystopia.

You should have been there. We burned the magazines but saved the books.

Now everyone was harping on health and education,

but we couldn’t even keep a sane dialogue in the same room.

So we made a dungeon, and started throwing them down there.

The screams didn’t even bother us,

and instead of laughing, we drank booze.

I used to bring a candle down to the cells called solitary.

They were starving, and I brought them the light.

This only nourished me, and I’m not selfish.

We began systems of blight.

They were harrowing and thought of as creative.

This was art to some of us.

Boring through innocent passages from our boredom,

a trial was decreed to stem the back up.

Families were brought to order and many lies were noted in the books.

We looked through the stories they told.

About demolition, punishment and innocuous rhythms.

Lastly, fathers were given custody of the interpretations.

What fear lay in the faces of given testimonials.

They wanted to eat the words, but ha-ha,

they were already spoken.

Before the judgment a phenomena occurred.

No longer, did the effect follow the given cause.

It was all cut up, like exquisite corpse.

Events were rearranged to no given governing.

Punishment was ultimately delivered in a sweet, carefree haze.

At one point, even I was spanked for standing guard.

My territory given back to me in litigious chaos.

Having a strong sense of optimism, we toiled away.

Strangers were put to building a large talisman, and the women,

They were leading construction.

Raymi Lauren wrote:

brymoxine haiku

heroin cruiser

why dont we lie down happy

drinkin blue kool-aid

>From: bryan garcia

>To: Raymi Lauren

>Subject: RE: reflected

>Date: Mon, 23 Aug 2004 08:12:03 -0700 (PDT)


>hi dude,


>the h is totally overrated. i was like you too. i’ve

>done all that shit, and thought it was a big deal.

>its mainly liike being real stoned. i think you have

>to be really involved with that shit in order to

>become addicted. but whatever. i would stay away/

>the smart thing is to do no drugs. but then , we dont

>always choose the smart thing. anyway, that was poem

>i wrote last weekend, and i thought of you. i think

>you have awesome poems, and i’m glad you’re a girl/.






>— Raymi Lauren



> > heroin

> >

> > that’s a big deal

> >

> > i have never done it nor will i ever

> >

> > my addictive personality plus heroin

> >

> > would not be a good thing

> >

> >

> > >From: bryan garcia

> > >To: Raymi Lauren

> > >Subject: reflected

> > >Date: Fri, 20 Aug 2004 12:57:07 -0700 (PDT)

> > >

> > >last year i tried telling people

> > >there remained only one

> > >political problem – how we were

> > >going to live

> > >under fascism

> > >

> > >this year i tried

> > >heroin.

> > >

> > >

> > >b.garcia

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > > fine

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > >From: bryan garcia

> > > > >To: Raymi Lauren

> > > > >Subject: blitzkreig bop Date: Wed, 18 Aug 2004

> > > > 13:52:06 -0700 (PDT)

> > > > >

> > > > >you sho’ is whining now on your website. save

> > > > that

> > > > >shit. you blitzkreig and bop. you punk rock.

> > > > we

> > > > >dont kry. we multiply. ghosts just go h0me

> > and

> > > > >die, and you never even mind.

> > > > >now you go tell I and i. but i allready fuck

> > off.

> > > > >and i dont write you if i dont love you.

> > i’ll be

> > > > >like washing my hair all weekend, and no fags’

> > > > gonna

> > > > >say nuthin’.

> > > > >

> > > > >right >?

> > > > >

> > > > >ramone

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > > woah those jokes rule!!!!

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > >

> > >

Hi, I read an essay on your theory on getting a man without a commitment “being a slut”. So I thought you would be a great person to ask a question. My girlfriend and I have been together for about 3 years and I think she is holding some weird secrets. I think she is having sex with other men. I don’t mean to be untrustworthy I just have that gut instinct. And really it wouldn’t mind so much if she would tell me, and of course giving me the same permission. I don’t know… write back with some advice or how I am able to tell if this is what is going on if you want, beside that, Great essay. Hope I didn’t waist your time.




i think my life would be 100 trillion times easier, on me and everyone else, if i was born, a fuckin’ man. a tall, white man, who looks like me and acts like me and talks like me.

boy, gee, i would have too much pussy and then i’d have the world knocked-up and then i’d be prime minister, yet, i still, could be, ‘cos some hussy was prime munster for awhile but then she was like, eat it fellas.

anyway, don’t worry canada, i will not be your prime munster.

i’d rather be lucy liu in kill bill, head of your silly little crazy 88’s and wear socks with sandals and if someone mouths off and questions why i am the boss, i chop off yer fucking head.

yet, i would rather act and be pretend, not real life sword whipper-snapper, well, i still wanna learn but i wouldn’t be no fairy-cat and do it on tel aviv and go please pretty please get out of my country so i can blow it up, and do it to some innocent, wtf!?

i’m really starting to admire the vigilante-mentality.

i remember this one story about some kid who raped a little girl, so they tied him naked to a pole and all these girls took turns whipping him with belts and twigs and they were screaming like animals it was quite, horrific, to see how crazy people can get when they are allowed to do something like this. revenge is a scarey thing.

that kid shoulda been taught not to think with his pecker and be a horny horndog and the girl, well, she didn’t deserve it, and fuck you to everyone who goes what about the boy’s side? FUCK YOU. the end.

ps duder in this town who is too afraid to look me in the eye, grantedly so, yes, we are still angry at you, and, yes, go and apologise, not to me, to her, and, you know EXACTLY, who i am talking about.

i don’t care about who you know and what you may think your case is, plus, she may have been wasted, and/or on drugs (that were forced on her in her i-really-shouldn’t-be-here-right-now-but-lauren-is-a-loser-idiot-and-suggested-we-go state, the fact is, she CANNOT remember a lot of what went on and i wasn’t around for you to jam her and yeh i was drinking and yeh i did blow, so what, you guys did your fratboy bullshit to get me out of there so you could diddle and then i come back conveniently as she is on the front steps screaming and you paint this picture like it is her fault, all of you did, all of you.

i don’t care if you have all the lawyers in town, and ps you don’t even reside in the “affluent” part of it anyway, as was previously saidified.

the only thing this girl’s sayin’ (me) is, call me and apologise for what happened, don’t admit, don’t say spit, just say i’m a fucking loser minor idiot who took advantage of an older woman, and then, when you are less of a pussy, call her, and beg for forgiveness. capice?


preventing crimes is most important, not putting up shitty little 1 800 222 tips stickers on payphones, like hello, we’s wouldn’t have to witness a crime in the first place and, tip it, if you knew how to effectively instill in the youth AND the adults, how to NOT commit crimes.

this is called, CRIME PREVENTION.

if you weren’t retarded and taught us properly when you came to our schools with all of your drug paraphanelia and dressed like a cop that we want to sex and totally glorify it for these kiddies, jeez, maybe, this would’nae be happening.

don’t tell us about the y.o. act (canada, google it) ‘coz then people are like AWESOME i can do anything ’til this age bla bla.

therefore, michael moore’s bowling for columbine, the gun shit, like, sorry dude, yer a little bit wrong in yer conclusion, because…

tons of people in canadur have guns, they’re just, illegally owned.


because, when you do not have the right to bear arms, people have to find other methods of getting the pa-pow, pa-pow, (that’s what a gun sounds like) which, has to be smuggling or something.

i don’t even know how and/or what is done to get ‘em and i do not ever want to know, but i can assume it involves paying off poor people with families to support and then these people go down in the bigger scheme of things so the hierarchy can go on and prosper, whatever. there is such a thing as too much information, right?

tho, when i talk about farting and my menses, that is the information you should always be intereted in knowing about, not like, the bad guy information, that everyone knows about anyway, i’m just a walking-idiot textbook from grade five, so don’t even listen to me, heh.

we already have war going on here. race wars. rape wars. sex wars. drug wars. FUCK!

because we are the nice guy and do not discriminate we let the world in because we love the world and want to be the world but the world obviously does not want the same.

one love.

From : ********

Sent : Saturday, August 28, 2004 8:26 PM

To :

| | | Inbox

wat does ur queef music box look like, how about a pic?

ah heart burn. i am much liking the saturday nite live oldies bein’ played and stuffs, v. funny.

and conan, heh, i wrote conana.

so i had an ecg, like demanded one, funny, don’t have results for it yet, feh, but they gave the results for le aids/hiv test and brother, it be negatory, so, this means, woot!

but i have high potassium.

hello banana.

next all’s i gotta do is get papped to the smear and find out what’s goin’ on ‘cos i was menstruation city during the psyical so no pap, no smear, dooooh.

yeh whatever too much info stevie, whatever.

yesterday the sunshine boy in the toronto sun was bleeding jesus on the cross, um hello, not funny.

first of all, gross, as in, wasn’t expecting that, second of all, jesus, sexy guy, third of all, scare the fucking people more, like, what does this mean what does that mean??? the only coming of christ g’wanna happen is by some focker who thinks he’s christ and does something stupid about it will cells bells and shmells and then god comes in and stops him and goes YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA that is enough? pfft.

toronto sun, go light some sacraligious candles, you retarded tabloid posing as a nuspapier.

anyway, i have to go bump into a tampon.

-victim of the farts, guilty of being innocent.

pics in this post taken by, that guy who you think took them, or something