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i dont identify as an old person but

i’m going blind and losing my hearing like my eyes tear up a lot its extremely frustrating i can barely read tiny print its all blurry i am far sighted something that nerds with glasses know about but sighhhh i had these new glasses all picked out long story short i didnt get them so im using readers i had my eyes checked and i feel strongly that in the time since i had my eye exam my eyes have deteriorated moreso therefore i need to go have another eye exam like fuck. so when i go to get them again should i have glasses that help me read stuff up close or do i get the ones that i can wear all the time and also see far away so i look hot in these cat frames im lusting after or should i have them just to wear for when im reading or do i get the catch-all more expensive kind? i want to walk around in them as a “look” for myself but i also dont want to be staring thru coke bottles and be blurry so i need a light prescription or like a perma-strong one why am i even asking you people???

and ya my hearing too is going to shit people at work whisper talk answers to questions i ask them and i cup my hand around my ear like an old fogey and say whattt?? sorry? repeat pls too many rock concerts. or i have to scoop my hair out of the way as it creates a sound barrier also if someone is wearing a mask like why are u friggin whispering i cant read your lips i think i have a super loud voice and that also is causing my hearing loss it’s maudlin or whatever they call it dark comedy irony i also get snapped at when i lean in to hear them better and ask them to repeat and that’s when they get short with me uhhhm just say it loud enough the first time around some of us have disabilities dont be a cunt. they are like so impatient irritated that they have to repeat themselves so i slow my roll and calmly not react so that their snappy tone’s rudeness is amplified then i shut down and finish whatever the process im doing is and say have a nice day but i whisper it so they cant hear me lol.

8 thoughts on “i dont identify as an old person but

  1. Great blog post, you have proven once again why you have a black belt in keeping it real. Just remember, time makes fools of us all!

  2. I need to get better at passive aggression, sounds fun. My viking biker rock star (but not really) a dozen years younger’n me boyfriend just got hearing aids. I’ve had progressive lenses for years (near and far sighted). Cost a fortune! SO look on glasses (heh) as form and function because you want to amp your sexy beauteousness (if that’s even possible!) to 11. I have the hearing of a bat, which can be problematic because obviously, given my sporadic employment, I don’t live in a mansion in the middle of nowhere, but in tight city quarters.

  3. BF will be 52 in a couple of months. Interestingly, he’s taken up running. So, of course, now I have to take up running because I ran as a kid and he never did – I’ve literally never seen him run and still haven’t because he sneaks out at night to do it – and I’m very competitive that way. All ways. It’s absurd how competitive I am. He, too, blames rock concerts, etc. Omigawd I just realized – he got hearing aids – now he’s taken up running! Why? Because he’s a man and adjusting to age makes him feel younger, not older. There’s a life lesson for you, young lady – be a man!

  4. of course hes midlife crisis running now, which is a good thing and yes u should run with him race him hide in the bushes and jump out at him further up the road..

  5. I was trying to find you on Spotify today to stalk your playlists. Didn’t find you, but I did find an interview you did with Boston Mike (or something) in 2014 so I listened to that instead *heart emoji*…. It’s nice you’re doing what you do again

  6. Even though it seems like a rhetorical question I vote for getting the ones you would be willing to wear all the time! Then whenever you do have to you will not hate them!

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