it’s occurred to me that i haven’t been writing about boozing so much anymore. stefinator told me she searched me on google and found some guy shit-bagging me because all i ever write about his getting wasted i was like pshaw i haven’t written about being wasted in like, a month. it’s to the point now where it’s practically implied, so why bother mentioning it? i. am. a. drunk.

last nite especially, thanks to mark saying, i feel like having at least a few more drinks. he also told me he hears voices. i’m like dude, you have way too much time on your hands, you need to go out more, be with people, and yeah i’m one to talk but i’m not hearing fucking voices in my head alright. anyway.

so i was pretty knackered last nite and phil said you. are. drunk. and i said no i’m NOT drunk but in my head i was saying yes i am.

and today all i feel like doing is sitting around and eating chips and dip and finishing that mennonite book.

i had the stupidest-ass dream last nite so stupid that it is part brilliant. here is a point-form account of said dream.

-i was in a dormitory full of bad kids who were forced to work in a slaughterhouse and i was trying to get them to have sex with me.

-there was a meat protestor outside dressed like a steak and i was trying to get inside and so i ate an uncooked mini beef patty and then the dude chased me all around a tennis court and everyone said that he outran me because i ate meat.

-i was walking around the meat museum and i tripped over a bench and some PR guy came out and gave me meat coupons that were stapled to a tabloid paper and i also received a piece of paper that said LET IT BE KNOWN THAT MR. BOWERS RAPPED WITH YOU IE. SPOKE WITH YOU ABOUT YOUR ACCIDENT.

-at some point a mini-frodo was chasing and attacking me around the dormitory.

-i started crying and then i was allowed to leave.

the spaghetto was so good we made a big batch of it and fil took some to work for lunch.

i am going to fix up some spaghetti and salad dressing and hot sauce because there is no tomato sauce. i call it spaghetto. it’s really hot and i haven’t showered in a trillion years and there is band practise later and last nite fil dropped a chicken wing into my glass of wine and i had to drink it all anyway and it was gross.

Subject : RE: trampoline

dear noel:

you are a jerk and i am never telling you anything again.

thank you