absinthe masters

my left thigh looks like johnny knoxville’s right now. my left hand is very battered, knuckle exploded into a bruise got hit in the same spot twice and later on my thumb. i took out the first opposing team on my own for the most part. then the second round again. then i got a reputation that spread throughout the building. we all worked together but yeah i was a little insane kamikaze in the beginning. once my hand got hit i lightened up a little. getting it in the mask is pretty funny, very sobering. speaking of which not a one of us was. the paintball aficionados said we were the best renters they’d ever seen. this pack of kids didn’t want to play us cos we were a bit aggressive. picking people off is fun once you get in position and see a guy crouching having no idea you’re right on him holy gun psycho talk ok one more thing you pant a lot from adrenaline and over-exertion, totally wicked workout. bruises likely won’t go away for awhile. i have sand everywhere and my chucks are fucked.

bought these yesterday from value village. they’re a little small. i think your feet shrink when you lose weight. i also bought a vintage one piece swimsuit i’ll show when i take a better picture in it.

it was a wonderful buzzkill to have the paintball place situated right beside a church. people streaming out and we’re all packed in one vehicle pounding brews what’s up god folks?

there’s a central fb page out there somewhere i need to be an admin for so i can load it up with pictures. we left those balloons behind and when we came back after paintball they were still there haha.

kamilla is wearing my $1 raybans. fakebans.

uggggggh. it was the boss’s idea to get us blasted (j/k)(sort of)(best boss ever!) so we’d be easier to pick off. pretty much backfired immediately. being gunned takes the sting and the fear out of how fucking scary the act of paintball is.

the green fairy. oh boy.

after. oh man i was worried for a minute there. then my hands and arms buzzed like crazy for a bit. absinthe at noon on a sunday.

last nite was hip hop nite which will never be happening again cos it got insane and no one tipped. i was cut early thankfully and once i left the crazy turned way up. cops showed. tellin’ you guys, central is lighting up big time.

hard to capture but once it’s more significant i’ll definitely document and share my bruise progress. who the fuck shot me twice in a row? i got teppei in the side of the head, i feel pretty bad but have to admit, it kinda felt good too.

if you come for a drink and it’s not too busy i’ll pour it into a special glass just for you.

tomorrow i move house i cannot wait for tuesday and for it to be all over so over tired so many stories to tell so little time. i am done being a travelling gypsy. all my stuff is disorganized, clothes are mixed with dirty and clean ok who cares no one wants to read about that shit.

my right arm is becoming very sore now. took some shoulder hits but mostly from carrying the gun.

we frolicked about in our summer skin

i’m ripping this off jenny. procrastinating when i should be doing loads of other important things is the only way i can survive my stupid life.

A – AVAILABLE: um, sometimes. i guess not, schedule’s pretty packed at the moment see you in a few weeks.

B – BIRTHDAY: march 31, 1983. omg turning 27 soon, the jinxed age: cobain, morrison, hendrix, joplin, brian jones etc.

C – CRUSHING ON: anyone who will look at me.


E – EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: someone who is super high cos you can corner them with all your material and they can’t get away.

F – FAVORITE SONG: wicked messenger black keys cover, but a classic is anna (go to him). i play this version frequently.

G – GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: worms. ew worms. ring worm.

H – HOMETOWN: streetsville

I – IN LOVE WITH: myself and clothes. myself in fabulous fabulous clothes despite favouring dressing like a hobo.

J – JUGGLE: penises

K – KILLED SOMEONE: no. but i am amazing in goldeneye for N64 and make dudes throw giant rages when i beat them even though i warned them. DEAL WITH IT TESTOSTERONE.

L – LONGEST CAR RIDE: toronto to manhattan though LA to arizona felt longer and was scarier cos we drove through a monsoon the same nite toronto got the blackout.


N – NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 1 brother, ‘spect!

O – ONE WISH: $$$$$$$$$$$$$$


R – REASON TO SMILE: it’s sunny out, shit’s never as bad as you think it is, eventually it will be spring again. uhm i’m stoned.

S – SONG YOU LAST HEARD: no one does it, dept of eagles.

T – TIME YOU WOKE UP: 11 when my dad called then 12 (funky sleep schedule plus i’m a dirtbag and will be working late tonite)

U – UNDERWEAR COLOR: pink with three hearts on the front. pedophile panties. EW i am throwing these out. (or selling them to you on the adult ebay)

W – WORST HABIT: oh god sooo many. fanatic ear picking is probably the worst.

X – X-RAYS YOU’VE HAD: do ct scans count? i’ve never broken a bone knock on wood so no boner x-rays.

Y – YOYOS: is this the only Y word you could come up with? i actually had a yoyo phase in highschool it lasted a week but i was pretty good. the end.

Z – ZODIAC SIGN: aries but i don’t really believe in this garbage.

i am personally offended by everything

OBNOXIOUS WATER! if some asshole came to my picnic and revealed this little treasure oh man, get the FUCK off my blanket immediately. i mean obvs i will have a buzz on at any picnic duh (so it’s opinions time) but seriously THANK GOD FOR THIS TINY FUCKING GLASS THAT CAME WITH THIS TEENY LITTLE BOTTLE I MEAN, I JUST WOULDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITHOUT IT HOW DO I DRINK THIS UGH WILL IT STILL POUR? SO PEDESTRIAN. oh and of course a woman at this high-end market was like have you ever been here before? me no funnily enough i haven’t. i’ve gone passed it the past 26 years of my life but never actually been inside but relax lady stop dying all over yourself about it this isn’t the cheese boutique, jesus.

thank god for these tiny little apples too and their tiny little individually cellophane bagged bags, sigh, such dreamy little life savers. (in case you can’t tell anymore i am being disgustingly sarcastic right now. these apples make me want to puke diarrhea)(oh my god it’s bed time).

ok now for the reason of this late nite post:

Markus why don’t you apply this fire and brimstone to your precious Catholic Church?…your priests and bishops certainly know a thing or two about blowjobs and pilfering cash.

wuh-oooooah gnarly burn dude!

oh i just remembered i dreamt (nightmare!) that i had a $450 phone bill. i’m going to check my bill summary online right now to see if my dream was true. this post was going to be longer. internet has been spotty here at my dad’s. watched some planet terror with my brother earlier, holy sickitating.

update: it’s $122. not great but not $450 either so, good.

suburban reflections

yeah i guess i should update this thing. look at my hair. LOOK AT IT. ugh zzz. no energy today cos i got blasted with mom last nite. i don’t think i paid for one drink. city girls you really really need to branch that shit out sometimes. city boys never pay for shit. no gentlemanly nothing to ‘em (if you so happen to bump into one at a bar, not saying they’re all like this). it’s cos they see city girls as plentiful, if that one can’t stand my scroogeness there’s five more lined up down the bar who’d probably die to buy me a drink. in the suburbs there’s more men than women to go around, or at bars anyway. also you are hotter than everyone else too because you know how to put outfits together so you pretty much have the pick of the pack. i walked passed a group of dudes on my way back from the bathroom, one guy was like blah blah blah well and then i…JESUS! good feeling. sorry i am in an arrogant phase right now. crazy single girl syndrome i suppose.

i also cannot get the vision of all my possessions stacked in garbage bags out of my mind every single second of the day it really bothers me. monday can’t come soon enough. on sunday the boss is taking us all paintballing that’ll be a good stress reliever. i was going to say i don’t think i’ve ever shot something before but that’s not true i shot bb’s though i doubt the rush is anywhere close to amazing as the one you’d get from shooting someone with paint pellets or whatever they come in.

ugh so scattered.

i feel like everything i post is TMI forever anyway. i don’t even know what normal is anymore. i feel so disconnected from myself, i don’t know how to describe it. i’ll chalk it up to stress and feeling like i am constantly running. i can’t be still. SEE more TMI! omg just shut up.

go to this tonite. fil will be there. we’re cool now.