bringin’ newdies back (maybe)

The Minx

Fate will tell you where you are

better than the stars

when read between the words

what’s not spoken is still heard

she will lie naked on the bed

and all the books you’ve read

the words you cannot find

unless you read between tan lines

oh you can set any of your traps

and you can think you’ve got her in your grasps

oh you can think, yes she can have you think

but you can’t tame the minx.

fate will walk through the door

a boa constrictor

when taken in context

she’ll wrap around your neck

she will be naked in your arms

paralyzed by her charms

you think you’ve got her true

and then she will devour you

oh you can set any of your traps

and you can think you’ve got her in your grasps

oh you can think, yes she can have you think

but you can’t tame the minx.

good old fashioned raymi bullshit post

so, sass‘ roommate gunther and i have been getting on like houses on fire cos he’s a lazy bored pothead like me (has his own company in jamaica, a skydiving company at that). we’ve been having loads of stupid pointless funny stoner conversations too ahhhh flashback. shit like bacterium being a universe unto itself never questioning why, why life, why are we here? there is no reason basically, this is it. we’re a fluke of nature. then there’s people who do question it but are too lazy to bother offering one goddamn guess at the big question they endlessly pose. go on, one guess, just one, since you care so much! then gunther’s gf turns and says HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU’RE BOTH NOT BACTERIUM EXISTING IN YOUR OWN UNIVERSE RIGHT NOW.

woah, faith, don’t take advantage of us cos you’re the straight one here. not fair.

anyway, i’ve been one-hitting it all week not really getting high but noticing everyone around me so is and i was worried that i had crossed the weed line into chronic town, but then gunthy rolls a spliff one toke and four hours later where did the day go? so i think i have to break up with the one-hitter and just suck on a joint from now on.

i wrote down two important topics on the dry-erase board that i wanted to discuss with you guys.

1. corn nuts
2. aggressive teeth brushing

i guess i’ll begin with how sometimes i’ll come out of my teeth hygienic reverie and realise i am brushing my teeth like i am trying to murder someone. like i am trying to kill somebody. that’s as far as that joke got. i often come up with tidbits i find could be usable in stand-up, but they don’t really go anywhere and i figure i have terrible stage fright so it won’t ever happen. maybe if i was blackout drunk.

now the thing about corn nuts is you cannot enjoy eating them yet they are SO enjoyable to eat. they’re so fucking loud though. you have to go down to a room in a basement with no windows, turn out the light and maw on them in privacy but that can never be the case, not possible, cos there are always people around when you want to eat corn nuts, and usually the corn nuts belong to them so you can’t very well take the bag and run. that’s rude. even if the corn nuts belonged to you, you can’t do that either because exiting a moving vehicle is dangerous so you have to suffer eating each corn nut one by one and one corn nut just simply isn’t enough. nowhere near it. you need at least 3 or 4 to get your satisfy on. but again, so loud. i tried eating sneaked in corn nuts in a movie theatre when we went to see youth in revolt. nice try. can’t even hear the movie over the sound of my own crunching plus the entire dialogue to that film is spoken in whisper so that you know it’s hipster-friendly. yes this is the right one because everything is in pastel. anyway, my ex fucked me up on this loud crunching thing, he has mad chewing issues and because of that i too have them. thanks!

if you were to find yourself happily alone finally with your bag of corn nuts you would instantly find yourself unhappy at the realization that you are alone, stuffing corn nuts into your mouth at lightning speed. alone. for some reason eating alone is the saddest thing in the world to me. i find many things sad but for the moment this is the saddest of them all.

ok i have to fucking go now what the hell am i doing.

it will be nice when i am able to make coherent thoughts happen again or regain the ability to have fully-open eyes like the rest of humanity. if i lack sleep that’s when shit gets crazy.

i have a post in the bucket that i want to share but i fear it might be the apex of too much information, which normally wouldn’t stop me but i already feel under the microscope enough as is presently, trainwreckage-like so maybe i ought to hold off for a little while.

guess the chick who tossed her craft magazine finally got a boyfriend hey?

went to the in crowd party with sass and the ten million people she knows. i felt extremely extremely awkward. i have never been with a guy who dances, or goes dancing so i’ve been out of the loop. i know, why did i suffer so? maybe if i dressed less like a simpleton and more like an adorable slut pilgrim (oh wait i do do that, just not that nite) i’d be more on my game.

don’t even think of sweating in that thing.

bottle service vortex!

and then i sweated.

good nite dancing. i love dancing. incidentally, i am an amazing dancer. it’s good to be back.


new/old vintage necklace. was looking for a new coat, couldn’t find what my vision was. too scattered. lack of sleep zzz.

no time to take pics of myself lately. wore this to work last nite. the end of the chain dangled in to so many disgusting things hahah. ugh losing tan.

mer would like these i think.

i had this game! played it with a babysitter once and not even halfway through a game she looked at me and said it was boring. i asked if she liked it and she said no. NICE BABYSITTER!

errr ahh…?

this spicy vietnamese sub burnt my face for real, looked like i had herpe (well, temporary red splotch whatevs) at the corner of my mouth and wiped all my makeup off.

now get a load of this blame it on the raaaaaaaymi email:

Dear Ms. White,

I don’t know you and I don’t read you all that often, but my recent ex does and I thought she may have taken some inspiration from you as she too is in the blogosphere and is a very big fan of yours.

Anyways. I know that she’s been in contact with you in the past and certainly your breakup was all over the news and I figure maybe just maybe you inspired her a little.

As with many of your comments I suppose this one is along the same vein of “here’s a surprising ripple effect of your celebrity.” Like I said I don’t know if she contacted you or even thought of you, but I’ll bet somewhere in her subconscious was “raymi did it with Phil, so maybe I can do it too.”

I am not writing to blame or anything of that nature, just merely to comment to you off the record that I was sad for the moment and that I hope that if she got her inspiration from you that your next moves for the next year are awesome so that maybe she’ll ride similar ripples of your online effect.

That is all.

last nite, she said.

so i got to throw out my first drunk it was awesome then it got not awesome because she then she climbed the bar, literally, the building, up to the upstairs patio, stood on it, began climbing down then realised she couldn’t so dangled there for awhile and fell on her ass on to the patio below. she was alright but holy fuck it’s like just leave already. what was she on speed too? nice friends by the way. the story spread throughout the entire bar it was funny hearing different perspectives of it. before being tossed she was jumping on the bar, around it, shoving everyone, confusing the attention she was getting for all that with positive attention. i was like sweetheart, time to go, now. NOW. this is the nicest we’re going to be about it then camilla comes out from behind me and steamrolls her right through the crowd hahaha.

i have the tireds. i have never seen the place so busy and did not know it got to be that busy. it’s looking to me like a regular hang place for a nice ole shit show, good to know. literally, it’s party central. single ladies read: plenty of dudes. had steak salad caviar cooked by the wonderful boss before/as closing up. very nice.

and a super old dude, gave me his card. he said something about my makeup and i was set to get fired up about it, i repeated what i thought i heard i’m wearing too much makeup? he said no your makeup looks really good. it’s fun watching beer goggles take effect, booze courage etc. great for the ego and overall entertainment. on wednesday two guys went through bottles of wine, jagers, pitchers so funny they come in all polite and normal then turn into booze vortex 2010 and one was the spitting image of eddie vedder. in a band too. we asked what their sound was and he goes, pearl jam. no shit eh so that look isn’t just coincidental?

i’m bummed i’m missing the buddcup dodgeball tournament today i’ve played in it two years in a row. i fully anticipated being out of commish today and was right.

i am stressed out of my mind right now i feel i might actually be on the cusp of a nervous breakdown. so far i’m channeling it alright but yeah, if i lose it this week i will not be at all surprised. moving stress. everything stress. STRESS!

ok back to bed.

here Dad

oh poor ringo. i relate, guy.

someone asked in the comments if i knew who made the rickenbacker famous. IF i knew. puh-lease. i have so many useless beatlemania factoids tucked away in my brain there isn’t room for anything else. so don’t ask me stupid questions regarding the beatles ever again please.

oh and i remembered the second half of my kid rock calling me a freak show 411. (no i’m not bitter about it i think it’s really funny actually) here, ready for it?