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dear kiki

you made me cry ‘cos you ditched me for a 16 year old and i was being selfish and a periodpants bitch to you but still i never see you and i come out of my way to see you and you hurry me out of the bar when i bump into summa my geekfriends who coulda given me a lift back to my town after giving me a handful of shots and a trashcan of beer and you shoo me out and then you say ok well bye i’m going to boink this little frighead.

so i lost it in the parking lot and you said fuck you and i said YEH FUCK YOU IS RIGHT! and walked away and u went lauren lauren come on all sad and yer friend that got his balls bit by a dog who was 17 was like let her go let her go and then me and shawnraymi drove to your work next day and you weren’t there, big surprise.

and i go where is kiki and they go she was suppose to be here and i said dont worry i KNOW where she is and we drove to 16 year old sketchbag’s house who your older brother use to date the trashbag sister of, my god what a town we come from, anyway, we scared you and brought you home.

and then we fought with little brother and he took the 26er shawnraymi got for you and i lost it on the little dirtbag and said i would punch him in the fucking face if he called you a bitch again and he said get out of my house and i said this is more my house than it is yours and he was like whaaaat? long story, blog readers.

so we all need fixing to do on ourselves. i think shawnraymi is the only one who can help yer bro, you know this, i know this.

i was mean to gord. i said this is how big your game is and put my thumb and pointer finger together really small and he thought i was talking about his pee pee and i threw, sorry, shoved him in the bushes a lot and he was hitting on mumraymi hmm what else, hitting on everyone in front of everyone and i was like yer dumb but apologized for being mean. i can’t help being mean and mindfucking people who hit on me kuz i don’t know how to deal when i’m getting drunk and not prepared for it.


i was so happy to see jackie and stacey!

that jamie guy though, i know a girl he use to date here of three years. pffft. im like u got a 19 year old girlfriend don’t pretend that you don’t and he is all that blond girl over there is hitting on me and now not one of them will talk to me now that they see me with you. he was trying to make me jealous and i said good go for it i wanna see how much game you have. obviously none kuz he didn’t go over to her. he’s like yeh i would do her in the bathroom and i said cool story.

dick’s can lick my balls capitan.

i also professed my desire to have sex with rena and said i probilly laid more girls than you anyway and she agreed.

please don’t make me get in fights with gangs of black girls for you, that’s selfish honey, don’t put me in that position.

oh and i got a raymi-spotting! tho dude didn’t know shit about raymi i don’t think. he was at the killers concert on the patio with us, this cute little blondie hipster thing and his voice got all high when he talked to me and jamie goes did you hear how high his voice got i hate him and i said good then he is my new boyfriend, leave me alone and he even asked me where i went every five minutes and cock-blocked me on the dancefloor.

ok i have to take my crazy pills now but i love you and i want you to come here for a little while and not see that 16 year old fleabag and i want you to straighten the fuck out and come to yoga.

i like when you stuff your bra.



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