so today is kristi’s party it was suppose to be a surprise but i guess someone blew it. i called her and she is all are you coming tomorrow and i’m uh coming where? trying to be dumb and she goes for my party and i’m – oh i don’t knoooow there is a party? and she just starts laughing and says i am an idiot. i love kristi and i am loving putting her gift together and going man she is going to love this big pile of junk kuz she is hand-me-down-syndrome raymi. she actually has an aunt with down syndrome too. she’s the shit.
i use to date one of kristi’s cousins way way back when. me and kristi aren’t actually cousin’s ps so don’t go ew gross cousin-dater even tho that’s so hot right now. yah and my mum wasn’t down with me dating the dude kuz his dad was a junky and thought i’d get diseases so we never got to see each other save for like twice over a month. our relationship was talking on the fone and going this is what i wore to school today i am HOT. i think i was in grade seven at the time and he was a year older.
so one day we finally hung out and i let him feel me up with his dorky friend riding around on his bike. the ugliest guy in the world too. and then not two hours later he dumped me over the fone to brooke and brooke called me and i FLIPPED and three-way called his ass and i listened in and i was going to self-destruct. i felt so used and shitty and flat-chested kuz that’s what he said and what was worse was that i sneaked out to see him and got in shit for it and he had his dirty white trash paws on me.
he might even be there today.
kristi’s older brother (not the younger criminal one) was my childhood-neighborhood boyfriend. we use to kiss in the closet on the floor and fart on each other and laugh and play house and i was the mom and he went to work and the whole theme of the game was i had to kiss him before bed and before and after work but i was always afraid and didnt want to and got nervous so i’d make us tell knock knock jokes til i got up the courage and then finally i pecked him on the cheek and i was like i am suffocating up here in this fort in your basement and i’d go on my bicycle to the park.