Monthly Archives: May 2026

200 days

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it’s a rush when the pieces start pieceing.

200 days. it’s like that 200 cigarettes movie except not.

I just checked my blog traffic and it’s um, quite high, lol.

Over the years I have spun my wheels on various social media platforms to maintain my online presence, yes, all those years being a covert watcher non-participant was all for this very look-at-me moment.

thx twitter. remember when i vowed to do less of you lol. it’s at 80k now i wish i was monetizing fackkkk me. soon. you will pay for these words lol. lol? yep. lol all the way to the bank!

Whatever, what do you say to people anymore on the internet here? I feel like I am split personalities everywhere I am. Twitter? that’s ratchet Raymi. Facebook? a little classier, just a little. Instagram, there I am most attention-seeking of all. The possibilities of instagram are endless if you are clever enough and I feel as though I am hunting for my next big thing over there but this time as delusional as that sounds, I’ma make it LOL.

You have to big yourself up if you’re gonna achieve anything and within the crazy there is excellence of fuck I dunno, something just finally lands right. I took my hat out of the ring for a long time but now I am here to announce that I am a gun for hire and if you want some of that overspill shine come and get it. That Hansel is so hot right now as they say.

I remember years ago in my twenties having arguments “business discussions* with potential VC’s about my brand and it boiled down to with one person the “get hit by a car theory” that if they invested all this into me and then I go and died on them. Okay that was more than 20 years ago I am still here buddy. Do you think they told that same shit to HANNAH MONTANA, LADY GAGA, HILARY DUFF, literally anyone better and more deserving than me? Likely not.

Also what is my brand what am I giving the world who DO tenaciously read and follow along, potential cu$tomers I have all been long-conning love-bombing for fucking years. All I am asking (begging) is for an editor to give me a writing collaborator to help organize a book. Then proceed from there. This is how I level up. I am going to take cues from the manosphere to blogmaxx my potential and as my my physique tones tans and hair grows all at once combining to dominate my comeback arc. It’s giving main character.

What would Pee-Wee Herman do? Exactly!

Podcast. Another thing I was always thinking to do because I love a good blabbity blah and it’s truly always an adventure plus I would have a different person on each podcast episode as they do, some being old Raymi characters. Could you imagine if I featured exes and haters? um no. it would flow just like a phone call and be as simple as it could possibly be because that is all the energy I can muster, too many moving parts, it aint happening.

Okay gonna cut this short it’s tan o’clock my homies.

Just remember, go thru life with the passion dedication and self fucking confidence as a crazy rich successful person might. To soar you must jump and to jump remove the fear. I will try to stop being a life coach (no I won’t). Spreading wisdoms always!

See ya

ps I think I’m going to take dance classes again. just putting it out there.

scotch blog post

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We’re not suppose to romanticize or glamorize alcohol or drinking or drug stories during meetings when sharing but this aint no meeting so i’sa spin some yarns here so gather ’round sumn other okay just kidding I’ll type with real words, not in minxlish. I’ll try.

I’m watching the last man on earth right now and they’re drinking Scotch on a boat it brings to mind the kind of person who you drink Scotch with, someone you just know you’re being drug down to Hell with them for a Scotchy drunkies and there is no fightin’ it, with that there powerful spirit dawg you is in it. Scotch is like the K-hole of drunks. If you don’t know what a k-hole is it’s when you do Ketamine and you’re in a bubble and you cannot get out that’s why it’s called a hole. Not a good time. Mormons do it tho which is weird. They can’t have caffeine or alcohol but they do Ketamine “treatments”. Maybe that’s just the Mormon housewives show and not actual reality. A lot of my education sadly derives from reality television.

We did Scotch Fridays at the office. We even had a Scotch log and to be in Scotch Club you had to get a bottle on a Friday no one had got before and enter it in the Scotch spreadsheet log, that’s about it (we took turns but sometimes there would be two bottles to go around, deadly) then you get fucking gassed with your coworkers in the board room and if you’re the only woman like me then you are in charge of cheese and crackers for the piss tanks who turn into little toddlers, fuck, emails stop dead sharp at 4pm on Fridays — you have zero ability to write shit about fuck whilst on Scotch (I attempted to do our tweets, bad call lol) and then welp, lets call the plug and get his ass on over here ahh good times, good times, work hard play hard. Hangovers at an office are the worst days of your life. Shaking like a leaf, no sleep, you look rough and you don’t remember meetings you’ve had… sending emails out to coworkers about deliverables you’ve already heard word back on wtf.

I was never a Scotch person. Scotch people are made not born. You gotta brace yourself for the most disgusting shit you will ever taste and I’m not sorry either to admit that. I’m an alcoholic and I have tasted the shit rainbow of every kind of alcohol known to human, it’s all poison. You acquire an affinity for that you don’t get born craving it.

Peat? Smoke? Barley? …burning gasoline no different than moonshine make ya go blind? Yeah no that ain’t delicious. Have it with ice, that’s me. Some, a drop of water, some, just neat.

I like to twirl my glass around like some bastard in a sumptuous den wearing a cable knit chooch cardigan sweater fuck can you say dry drunk much? I guess after 197 days without booze you start to romanticize it a little bit.

On the train into the city Friday I sat beside the right chick it was perfect social harmony killing time til we got to Union station, she says, I smell alcohol and I said it isn’t me! This is the only time ever without a shadow of a doubt that it isn’t me she says oh youre an alcoholic oh good I love alcohol I laughed and said um I don’t think you know what you think that means but I said yes i love alcohol too, too much so I cant drink it anymore. I love a nice drink in a pretty glass a gorgeous cocktail perfectly crafted, mixologist porn I can recite circles around you about booze. I liked that she admitted to loving alcohol but she can drink it “normally” sorry, “enjoy” it responsibly, as alcohol marketing would have you hear.

which brings me to my next reveal which I was saving for THE BOOK.

At the beginning of the pandemic when I moved from Toronto to Burlington I worked for the LCBO, I was an essential worker. Me. Queen Smirnoff at the Liqbo (and I kept it secret from the internets). I am planning to deconstruct my time period of secretly working for 3 years in the lions den of hooch as a lush. I had to resign. They will come for me when I say what I got to say. I mean. I didn’t sign any NDAs and I don’t plan to lie about it — it’s my truth and my story. So fuck them I’m not scared. I learned a lot. It was good, it was bad, then it was ugly. I realized I am a very anxious person and being around alcohol as an alcoholic was like that girl who fell in a volcano, bitch, you too damn close.

However, obviously being an alcohol expert came in handy when recommending drinks from wine to tequila, beer, fucking everything, you name it, I drank the store. I am a living breathing database of wine, spirits, beer, ciders & RTD (ready-to-drink) knowledge. What do you wanna eat with that shit? I know that too. How hammered do you wanna get and money u wanna save blah blah all useless to me now. I’ve drank my last drink but I can still talk about it like how I fixate on foods and tv programs and internet garbage. Everything is alcohol to me now.

The inspiration of this post was Scotch. Mostly the drunken overpowering feeling of a Scotch drunk. The first couple sips you know what you’re getting into. Do not make plans, you are going nowhere. You will sound and look like Homer Simpson. Nothing you say will make any sense, you sound like a total idiot, and you won’t remember any promise or plan you made. And you’ll do it again despite the mega-hangover.

Vodka though. She was the one that really took me out. That’s a tale for another time.

Adios muchachos. Enjoy your Sunday.

If you’re struggling just know I have been there before and I am here to talk and tell you that you’re worth it and not alone and you can stop drinking. If you’re irritated just walk away, don’t let that glass of wine be the only thing that can get you through your life.

ps. leave me a comment here and tell me where you found this blog, my visits are skyrocketing right now so someone linked me someplace, but where? fucking tell me! actually might just be organic natural traffic coming from all my social feeds okay whatever i’m just a very curious need to know things type of person.

xo raymi

daily affirmations

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I have this rule that I seldom remember but I am trying and it is to blog when I am crashing out hard on various social media platforms as in INSTEAD of pissing people off over there draw them here to RTM.com if they want more raymi doses of crazy and while I’m at it, it is so sad that I am unlearning shit I use to strongly preach “if my blog needs a blog kill me” as in twitter and facebook FUCK I am trying so bad to bring it back to basics.

Take this drawing for example. Don’t just AI it. Don’t google it. Learn a new font and create it yourself.

DAILY AFFIRMATIONS. Try it. If you’re spiraling out, write. I remember writing this when I was furious not gonna say at whom but now looking back at these it appears to be a positive thing instead of screaming into the void aka more rageahol pointless texts and now we have these to look at. Maybe I should apply them to reality. I was feeling attacked and guilty for doing whatever necessary to be happy to be me to fucking exist I dunno.

These are the equivalent of sticky notes people put on their bathroom mirrors and read while brushing their teeth to get motivated for the day to CRUSH IT. It’s cute when you read one of these pump you up sayings you’re like DAMN STRAIGHT I WILL PAT MYSELF ON THE BACK FOR THAT MINOR THING I WAS PROCRASTINATING ON. One of my favourite in-recovery things we are taught (also while struggling in active addiction) is to give ourselves grace and be gentle with ourselves. Never been taught that before normally we just accept that we are pieces of shit who made bad decisions. Turns out, you’re allowed to flip the script and be a buddy to yourself, check in, not out!

This one speaks for itself. I try to write out things I find to be a little more original so that it’s out there that my brain thought of it first. I’ve come up with lots of firsts of course but that’s enough bragging for today. Back to blasting Peter Gabriel now to get thru this crappy rainy weather xoxo your pal rlw.

that’ll put marzipan in your pie plate bingo

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hi! pics have nothing to do with the post, I am short on time so make do and hello new readers to raymi the minx dot com i have been blogging for 26 years since the year 2000 so put some respect on my name here. I’ve done this song and dance for y’all before you had facebook to waste your life to :)

when you put music on in your bedroom to go take a shower you are djing for your bedroom and that is a nice thing then u get to see the songs you missed while you were gone and say to no one in the room oh looks like you had fun while I wasn’t here lemme replay all that then.

when you (me) (no I) overshare it is classily curated oversharing but when some other people do it, it is deeply cringe like ew you said that out loud right here and now in front of all of us on facebook. especially if u sort of dont like the person too either or they a lil sus then they fuckin word waterfall it (guilty guilty guilty shut up) but somehow it’s okay when I do it but not when you do it or like that funny outrageous slob guy we all know who just can do absolutely fucking anything and get laughs with no repercussions whatsoever now that is a kind of bravery I am always chasing.

hmm what else.

…trying to keep track of funny thoughts I have that I know if all paired together could just fill up a book or a post like in the shower it all goes down the drain instantly if I’m not writing it just goes and blows with the wind goodbye. girl bye.

yesterday I got the writing overshare nerve of me because I woke up early scatterbrained and when I am a lil sleep deprived I am borderline batshit crazy and like bored going out of my mind bored running out of tasks here so I turn on myself and all the greatest hits come out. you get a thrill and a rush from unearthing your war party stories and now we’re in a safer place space to share that stuff — buried cool facts!! bc fuck it I did it for the story time to tell it brother. Why do standup comedians get to be raunchy and get away with it mom but I can’t?

so i made this proclamation I would blog yesterday but I knew I’d burn out and be too tired to get it together so today is the day that is the magic of writing of how to write YOU NEED FUCKIN MATERIAL. I have tried over the years to write books to make fictional shit we all know i can write it’s my brain and drive that’s the problem and the lack of structure and weird rules and excuses that have no merit fuck anyway here we are now I am ready so lets go, but where? anywhere, see. Magic. writing. *insert meme of guy’s mind being blown*.

so for those who missed it, here is the mania i blasted out yesterday on facebook from a picture I came across whilst looking for something else which i have just concluded is how my writer’s block evaporates – a memory is triggered – then I go to town.

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Visited Bad Bentheim often over the border from Holland in Germany as it was a very quick drive aways from where I was living in Oldenzaal.

The Dutch ppl like to vacation in Germany and Germans would dine in Holland. We would pass a spa in Holland and call it the German spa. Because Germans went there only. But it was in Holland. Also the Polish hotel. Why? Because no Europeans wanted to stay in hotels with Polish people the traveling truck drivers. Europeans are extremely racist. When I learned about Black Piet I about lost my mind but everyone told me its their tradition they dont care what Canadians think ya well every Christmas now Holland gets blasted for their racist “tradition” sorry guys.

We didnt drink much when back then because it 100% would lead to other things so everytime we drove back from Germany we would make a pitstop at a particular place on our way back and lose 3 days of our lives you know what am sayin’? This is why I should have blogged it. My bf made an airplane app at that time period that could track airplanes traveling overhead of us, I dont know why or how that could have turned out lucrative for him but a lot of that time was spent him upstairs in his office and me downstairs blogging in a timezone no one I knew was awake except for random raymi blog fans around the world who were always amazed at why I was awake and we would have deep conversations and such.

When my bf was in the shower I would look at his phone and have to translate from Dutch to English what he was saying about me from the picture I took of his phone then typed it into Google translate while a flush of adrenaline surged thru my body ok im blogging the rest now lol

So. Intuition is usually always right and this guy wasn’t cheating or anything but there’s always potential for an emotional affair which he didn’t have time for because we lived together 24/7, all I saw was this one cute girl in the friend group on whatsapp he messaged with asking about “that girl from abroad” that’s what they all called me I was actually a local celebrity when I was there not many Canadians in my area if any which of course I loved that attention.

I sat on this information. It bugged me. When things bug me, you will soon know it. I cannot be passive aggressive like some emotional abusers out there can be if I am pissed I let it out to get past it otherwise I am suffering because I cannot stop obsessing. Others process things differently I don’t know how but they can let’er rip in a few days time but not me I gotta rip off the bandaid not do a stupid lil dance with ya fuck that.

I don’t know for how long I was able to not say something likely not long I just remember it being a hot day we were having a pint on a gorgeous patio in a whimsical cottage bar in a forest classic Holland shit and once the beer hits my brain that door opens and that thought I had been trying to suppress came out again. Alcohol 100% starts fights. I kinda just bluntly said I saw a message about me or something I mindfucked it so I wasn’t the culprit for invading his privacy I had to be diabolical with it and I was up until he smashed his pint glass with a temper and strength so fierce it popped when it hit the ground the glass obliterated disappeared and the beer too it literally no longer existed the sound rang out amongst the trees penetrating every thing and object house everything surrounding us.

The waitress came out to check on us hearing the sound if we were okay she wasnt sure what had happened we played it cool like nothing happened and he ordered another drink she was so confused mind erased to where had his drink from before gone?

The fight wasn’t over yet he lost his cool he was in a full rage I wasn’t done finding out about this young hot chick flirting with him but I was scared now and wondering if it was even fucking worth it like it was nothing but girls cant help ourselves we’re suspicious and jealous and have trust issues fuck!

when we leave he is driving like a maniac speeding and swerving, a man is walking in the street with a dog and we almost hit him he is yelling in the car oh great now look what you’ve made me almost done I know that man I am trying to work with that man, something about a proposal he was presently going over what are the chances?? unbeknownst to me we are headed right for the plug.

okay I gotta to be continued this story because I lost time searching for my holland pictures but i’ll find you exactly what the patio looked like and thank god it was empty at the time. going to the country and I can’t even load my blog from the house there so, this’ll suck. leave me a comment i’ll be checking xo

Oh and if you know the reference to this blog title without googling it you are a super nerd.