insert blog title

Good LORD it has been awhile, “sorry” and you don’t care either way yo hello what is up? I guess we’ll do some sort of wrap-up catch-up now then.

It’s a gorgeous one out there today gonna fire this off super quick then hit the town. It’s going to be even hotter on the weekend. Righteous!

Sweet deal around the corner from us going on right now def grabbing again before it expires for good. It’s nice to take a night off from cooking too. Starting to make the same crap all the time it gets tiring too.

The party light came out Halloween night super trippy fun dance party playing lots of records.

This was THE scariest thing ever he jumps out at you all these amazing terrifying installations I’m talking PRO-level my GOD you must check it out next year these people are nuts like a whole row of them compete with their crazy scary houses it was bananas. Tarantulas on censors jump out at you oh man I hit the roof hahaha.

Made the randomest of costumes it came together alright we were hanging in our friend’s backyard and the temperature legit dropped and we had run out of firewood too these are thermal pants but started to get chilled to the bone which is why today’s hot weather is super interesting!

Got burritos crushed them by the lake on another cold as hell night windy spooky too cold to hang around too long though we try.

That wind off the lake bruh boy she strong from here on out I am going to just tell you the temperature of each picture.

Cute bunneh.

oh noes the feets ahh I die. Mike said you could pretty much just touch it so I was like okay but then the bunny definitely did NOT want that haha nice try.

Love it. All that sparkly Christmas extra-ness yessssssssuh.

Like obviously someone needs this in their house.

This is me blinking in Christmas land.

So many people messaged me about this place asking where it is what it is I am like bro can you handle it it’s Christmas old lady heaven in there plus farm animals AND a restaurant supermarket.

Omg I love this no shame or irony whatsoever.

*faints*. I think it’s the collector side to a person, the desire to possess trinkets and what-not.

I picked these up a little while ago they’re dead now am thinking of what I want next flowers cheer and class a place up, no?

Distorted because had to zoom in to capture all the lights-action. A phone upgrade would resolve this issue.

This one is my fav. The owner came out cos we were all milling around the property she said we scared her it was funny but I was also like well your front lawn is a horror show people gonna flock. Speaking of horror show, how bout that election hey? Yikes.

Dave Chappelle and Letterman. SO GOOD.


That’s Barfy. We love him quite possibly her, I dunno I get boy vibes but he reckless so maybe then he’s a woman? Lol who knows. He’s been MIA the last couple visits so I hope all is good.

So fab.

Okay cashing out my chips now I bid you adieu we’ll meet again soon have a good one xo!

Theatre Bizarre pt II

Hey friendlies!

TB PT.II is #happeningnow. Pt. I can be found here if you missed it FYI (I got you!)

Monday, am I right?

Oh, it’s time to go now? Well, fine then.

Lets see y’alls maneuver this big bobble head at the end of the night. Yeah I don’t care, love being a bit of a ham. Life is about fun.

These are going backward it’s the only way I can save my sanity and get through covering the madness of this event.

RSSR looked at this picture and was like, “Why?” it blew my mind he didn’t know why? “WHY!?” It’s all red matching omfg is WHY!”

The last room where anything was happening at the end of the night, meaning, the only dance party WITH A BAR OPEN. Can you smell the desperation? (Mine?) Lol.

This was a weird conversation and I don’t remember any of it.

That’s my hand. Awkward. This is the smoking area of Theatre Bizarre.

Do you know why masks are creepy? I read somewhere it’s because they are lifelike, but not and we start to engage with the mask, knowing altruistically it’s false human contact and barriered but we’re drawn to it still. Whatever!

Roxi D’lite killed it. She’s phenomenal. A great friend of my great friends. So great!

Lizzy’s awesome bangle.

One of my favourite costumes.

He’s asking if he can pick me up and balance me I’m like no chance bro I have been on a horse before I know how this ends. Maybe if we were in a pool together. Maybe.

That chick rubbed her foot on my shoulder as he was talking to me and now it’s like my favourite thing in the world. Have you ever had a bare foot tap you on the shoulder before? Go ask someone to do it to you but make sure their foot is covered in gymnast chalk first.

I asked if he was uncle Fester? By way of, “Addam’s Family, that guy?” Whatever I said I was wrong and I don’t remember the answer and it’s a girl beneath this cloak which befuddled me cos I am sexist like that. Befuddled!

What’s my mask count at now?

Roxi the renowned burlesque dancer is reason enough to brag here but the top hat guy is Theatre Bizarre creator, man behind the curtains and oh so umble about it blabbitry blah. I guess it’s like patient Zero for Burning Man. Those who know, know, basically. Nobody really applauds anyone for anything in Toronto so I don’t mind fangirling artists, my muses. My blog is basically my diary anyway (and sponsored by Bud Light).

A moment. Yes yes. Raymbo’s always gotta be in there eh.

What am I talking about? Probably nothing at all, which is the way to charm people who “are important”. It has taken me 32 years to figure this out.

My friend told me yesterday I was getting better looking with age and that it was weird. HAHAH Thanks buddy.

If you say you are from Canada you can do anything you want. Hall Pass! Do the mashed potato in the middle of someone’s conversation… lick a girl’s face as seen above. Anything and it’s yours.

I see, I see. This is the lanyard of someone who is scary as well as breathtakingly smart and makes taxidermy animal installations. Lots of prodigies milling about the grounds of the Masonic Temple.

Like this guy. So much went into this party. Sorry you missed it?

It’s very Tim Burton. My fav.

Year of the goat, bro. Plus another mask.

@destroyxbeauty is my Detroit photographer fyi in case that wasn’t clear. When a collab clicks you squeeze all you can out of that shit.

Pumpkin man is my fav.

As you can see we went down to the green room a lot. Lots of equipment gear and other nonsense down there.

More goat. Roxi came in riding that. It was amazing.

Oh hello there Mad Maxine. I’m scared and I like it.

Well hello there.

You know I love to strike a good pose.

Or, two.

Love it. Lizzy got to help volunteer the night before and deck out the Temple. Everybody pitches in. No divas. All equal. The only person who tried to get all things free was from Toronto. Of course. SMH. Sounds a lot like me though to be honest LOL.

Another picture from my travels but not particular to Theatre Bizarre but why not.

Me and David Bowie. I’m striking a Labyrinth pose myself and turned out to twin him, no? YES!

On our way out.

Thanks to the power of hashtags I have found all of these people in my photos for the most part. Ya hear that? Hashtags work.

An idea came to me in the shower.

Zombo is the mascot of Theatre Bizarre. Hail Zombo! That’s what you say when you see him. Lizzy yelled it out. So much weird going on at all times and I had a backstage pass to it.

6’7 kevin and I. He’s a famous Detroit instagrammer. He said VICE interviewed him the day before. I wasn’t jealous at all. Nope. Not me.


Planking. Peace til next time. There’s more. Which requires downloading uploading etc xo rlw

Enhancing experiences circa 2000.

Hiiiiiiiiiii. I’m exhausted. The time after work just flew by, doing this, that. It’s so dark so early now (said everyone else already ever) so it makes you feel sleepier much earlier like every waking second you’re in trouble and should already be in bed.

My hair is all ready for tomorrow so that saves time. I’m pretty disappointed in my dye choice, I should return the extra box I bought (hell yeah) and get the one I bought last time which was a smash hit.

I went as a biker’s lady one night, a very low key outfit. Also based on a real life ex biker chick I know, man she’s had an interesting life.

Didn’t feel like going out period (I seldom do) but I did and I had fun so it was cool. It’s just maybe a living life on pause kind of feeling, or it was that week. I’m getting used to this.

Woah yo check that out. But wait look.

Fun dinner. My mom was wearing her bunny ears and I was sitting beside a couple , the wife of which last saw me as a little kid so here I am all growed up drankin’ wine with them haha. I doubt I barely made an impression as a little shit kid though, I think I can kind of remember her. It’s easy to tell yourself you remember things that you absolutely do not/nor ever happened so whatever. But no I do remember.

When I crash with my mom and get up to pee at least 50 times it’s a wild assortment of cats in the bathroom with me, they’re like waiting to run into the bedroom and all starts rolling around on the carpet while I stare at them bleary eyed like, really? I have to sleep with a sweater or something over my face cos my mom’s room is so light. I forget the name of this cat, it’s my mom’s fav though cos it’s teeny runt litter-like plus cross-eyed.

See. How gorgeous is this cat, she is the spitting image of her father (the stud who makes all the other kittens) except she is teenier in every way, she sits like a muppet in the dopiest way a lot of the time and you’re like, is that a real cat? Dad is fixed now and he is fully a prehistoric super cat, he ripped open my Nana’s hand once. Who needs friends when you have more cats who are friends? Living proof right here. My new job is stimulating and I am a loner anyway.

I have so many pictures of Iggy allow me to count the ways in which I feel more like a loser. He’s depressed. BF laughs like hell about that alleged statement my mom always echoes. Everything is so depressed here. baha. Well he was more socialized before and if I were a lizard (chameleon, sometimes Iguana depending how stupid I am that day) I’d be scared like shit too if cats were sitting on the screen-only ceiling of my habitat or breaking into the wire side panelling too!! I actually wouldn’t have time at all to be depressed I’d be too busy battling for my life guy!

So after my interview where they gave me the job right then and there after said interview I took my dad out for burgers and beer (the spesh for 13 bones yeah!) and I was on cloud nine. We watched Rob Ford take the podium and deliver his fake crying speech, what a surreal moment I was like good day for me, bad day for him. I don’t want to get into the whole divided camps of pro/against Ford and the addictions sympathy bandwagon thing like, at all because I know so many smug people whom’s careers would be outright destroyed too if their skeletons ever saw light like, honestly STFU already throwing stones from glass houses kinda thing buuut it does seem insane how he keeps going, picks himself off the floor (mom’s words) and goes back in again, and right after that false friend films him on a flip out. The whole thing is just too mean I think and a total circus show for everyone involved. The time we met and ambushed him, I even felt bad then because I knew I was going to go home and blog everything that went down and not to cast Ford in an awful light but like his buffoonery specifically, the guy knows not what he does it is as simple as that and shame on the public for voting him into office in the first place and then shame on the Canadian guilted-up public for getting Stockholm Syndrome over his antics and then liking him, suburban sympathy is a mega-powerhouse.

It was custie appreesh night at another local of ours so after my burger with dad (I only had half so) I ate the bar with mom. They were dicks for being chill over us ordering (paying for) wings (a double order!) then bringing out all the free food, they do it to us every year and I always go there feeling fat/leaving fat. Sorry I love the drink tickets and food but that joint always bores me to tears plus cougars are mean to me and stare at everything my mom and I do like ice queens. It’s the single, it’s poisonous. Each time I took a photo of her I’d say HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM (it was her bday after all) and at one point had to say to this one wet blanket of a chick that taking pictures of food, is a thing. FOODIE? NO? Ugh. Then when they left two more mean mavens sat down, mom and I just laughed it was so ridiculous. Having our friend Philip with us sure pissed them off too. Sorry for celebrating my mom’s birthday much?? I kept going out for smokes and talking to bf on phone honestly I think we made their night more enjoyable because they had something to hate. They ruined my night though.

Suggested to our Creative Director to steal this idea. I think it’s brilliant. The colour bleed to edge. Yeah.

I feel like a crazy person I swear my headphones are here somewhere, did I leave them at the office? I used an airplane pair today, not the best quality because I assumed my white pair (ipod) were at home and I just tore this room apart hence the crazy person self vibe. Whatevssssss see my faded tips, what am I folk rock? (kind of?)

Wow, sorry Wednesday Addams yeeeesh.

she resonates i relate

Bonjour mes amis. I’m chilling at the library because I sent my laptop out yesterday, day from hell but at least I’m not Rob Ford kinda yesterday. I was just going to bite the bullet and buy a shitty laptop but what’s the point when mine can be repaired and has a faster processor yada yada AND this new job I’m in the running for I won’t need my laptop they’ll have one and like I’ll have time to dick around on mine anyway when I’ll be working. But the timing isn’t optimal, I was able to send a few writing samples out and a collection/assortment of links blabbity blah all before the thing went to toast forever. Anyway when it Raymes it pours.

Also anyway, the exciting thing about this library thing is that some guy just barfed and they’re all freaking out, called the ambulance so it’s nice entertainment, well not nice but just asshole nice you know not like he has a tumour and this is the moment they realize he’s dying like crazy but who knew librarians were secret doctors (joking they aren’t) cos one is asking him all these medical questions. I kind of just want to go over there and be all, what the hell is going on just tell me hurry quick I’m busy, thank you. I, like many others, feel self entitled to all information. Period.

This is what I look like really tired and squinting. Just shine a light in your face and it masks the deep bags under your eyes. BTW you can’t tell here but my unibrow is looking killer. I hope no one ever makes me wax it. I live in fear of that. I should dye my hair today, soon at least.

Dutch bathroom downstairs. BF and I speak 20 times a day I think we’re like tracking each other, I still feel connected to him he’s here but he’s not but it’s okay blah blah I’m just being an emotional island recluse and drinking through it secretly. Cat’s out now. Everyone in the writing industry drinks, you drink to write, to deal with pressure and you drink and write yourself to death pretty much right? That’s my plan anyway haha.

Everyone is acting extremely busy and flustered just because a guy barfed a little bit on a table. I think he is really digging the attention and going with it. They just pushed the stretcher out without him on it see told you. He does seem like a hot mess though I bet he partied last night.

Focus focus. These are just a few pictures I uploaded during a me-time computer blitz, I think all my blitzes take a toll on the machine I think the motherboard needs to be replaced. We’ll see.

This was my first day in Holland. We drove around just a little bit, I was exhausted and it was later in the day we had nap and reunion time ;) first.

I worked out for the first time in months with the trainer and my mom/lois and the pain I feel from that session has changed gradually moving from chest to arms well yeah mostly all around there like under arm chest muscles lifting your arms in the shower wtf-ery. That’s bad. I used to lift free weights everyday but out of sight out of mind. I want toned arms again I think that’s my eternal lifetime want and desire, toned arms.

This was crazy funny because the quality of the video was bad (youtube) which proves the animal kingdom instinct and recognition thereof by Rocky versus some tampon commercial passively staring but not connecting with the visuals shows that he’s not as stupid as we thought. He watched this antelope (elk? OX? Big thing?) get taken down by an alligator in some mud and we didn’t even want to watch that clip he ran to the tv and sat there for the whole 6 minutes, it was the best.

Okay I go now back to werk.

Happy Friday, sweet November.

Oh gee.

I want a spa-nsorship

Happy Halloween! Did I scare you??

I sloshed fake leftover blood on this bridge saturday night and it’s still there and looks crazy scary. King/Atlantic bridge near liberty village. I’ll go take pics in the day, or you can.

Heheheh. I found this in one of four bags of costumes from Haunted Harem and then took it VERY seriously VERY fast.

No drowning on my watch.

I want to go for a double dip but I already have my war paint on so I won’t look Jersey Shore enough at all, and a super single tan isn’t enough for meh but going anyway I think a glow will make me feel relaxed. Paddy gave me this suit thanks love!

Here’s my CJ Parker impression. I practised running on the spot like they did on Big Brother UK. I make a nod to PETA, a higher nice girl voice and that cheesy ecstasy raver hat, and bono shades.

Blog Slave (OG)(original gangster, I need a glossary for the nerds, do I?) and I watched my CN Tower video and he was like O_O. When we were doing this shoot I said now hang out the window and look at the CN Tower, now, look at me, I walked on the top of that shit! I’m fuck’n gangsta.

The house is trashed with girl stuff everywhere. I have to take so many weird pieces of lingerie to the dry cleaners or wash them specially by hand I bet. #stripperproblems. These are Porsche shades. Multi-colour lenses for driving, I wore them to metro last night. We had fun.

Summer time nails.

Doing push-ups sit-ups like Jay Mccray from #BBUK.

I guess I have the nards to wear this tonight. Girls are wearing superhero sexy costumes.

And there’s a bruise on my ass. See that feather, keep or exchange? I worry I will hurt myself but can be used in a dance.

Staying in for a night does me wonders.

Ok dinner and a tan how fab! My bruise is almost gone. I walked in to a table at the Beaver on the night of the delicious food show and fashion week and why are your tables black? So dangerous that is how I almost broke my toe in Montreal at the W. Being paid to party has its dangers.

Except for here I look dead-eyed THAT’S BECAUSE I AM! Haha.

Going to wear my pink scuba watch to keep the summer vibe strong. I wanted to be in New Orleans for today I was secretly going to go but it’s too late.

And my date for tonight is going as Courtney Love! A drag Courtney Love. I went as her last year! Perfect! I’m also going with an uber sexy famous videogamer chick. Ballin’!

The party isn’t upstairs outside at the Thompson apparently so I won’t freeze, I might will wear my teddy costume over this.

I would blog my boob job for fake bewbs. Think about it!

Aerobics moments. I let blog slave off the cleaning hook today cos he was a disaster hangover too, fine.

Ok plans have changed we are making neat spaccati fusili pasta it looks so old school rustic we bought it yesterday and sriracha parmesan tomato sauce mmm I like being a food snob. I’m only having a teeny bit though.

The people vs. Jessica Rabbit

Teddy bear nappy time.

I wanted her to win!

Paddy’s friend went as an internet troll, that ugly dumb mask.

Look at me climb the thing at 1:30 I remember thinking at the time it was dangerous, when I fully extended my legs and stood up IN heels clinging to the tiny bar but it was Iggy Pop of me and I don’t half-ass a thing. This is how we opened, walking through the crowd and playing with them, it was fun to be in a mask and naked, a major kind of bizarre confidence and forcefield surrounding me, horny awe from the patrons Hehehh.

Red Velvet’s Jessica Rabbit number. F-O-X. I am SO jealous of Pastel Supernova in this video getting to motorboat her.

Oh Red Velvet, you’re a prize right down to your foot tattoo.

Jazmin says we are super on point here but also doing it on a flat surface is a luxury, far easier than a wrestling ring. Which, we also nailed. Except my underwear shows at the end of this because I am a loser, of course. I am Liz Lemon. I couldn’t feel my dress from the gloves and I needed double sided tape I suppose. You can hear people criticizing, comparing and judging us AHahaha.

Oh my eyes so lovely rolled back in my skull like that.

Look at how much she looks like her!

My body is covered by the cat ears. Nice!

Mom don’t you dance like that? That’s the Kerouac groove.

I wanted her to win!

James Photobombed all my shots with the girls. That’s our Pastel Supernova on the left there. I missed her performance boo :(.

I love this generation, look at the p0rnographers. I’m getting stink-eye in like every photo too.

Paddy did Glory Box and smashed out of this robot box YEA!

It was a tribute to my shaking Beth’s hand at Portishead a few weeks back. That’s the Black Swan beauty helping her.

So funny and then hot. I’ll post the Set List and then you can see how insane we truly are.

I fall down the stairs at the end of this, Haters, Elyse, you will love it. Teacher goes, welp, I know what video I’m showing the boys today. HAHAHHA.

Coincidentally we both had asian themed dances, I did Kill Bill’s Ninja. Will post another time this is overkill enough.

Also got Jazmin’s rumba ooh I’ll listen to that album today, soca zoomba music dance cleaning party with blog slave.

I’m a sexy nice dictator.

Pastel in my pink nightie thing looks way better on her. I think I look crazy in it. Maybe with a Valley of the Dolls wig.

Out of all my costumes you’ve seen, which one should I sport out tonight?

Pastel gave me last minute tassel swinging advice. Bounce and shake, bounce and shake. I want to get a small C cup I think it would be good for business, I could give a fuck about confidence (or your opinions on the matter) I got enough of that already. I have two more years til 30 I may as well stretch them out. Seven grand is a lot of money though, I need a sponsorship. Will blog for boobs.

What a legend!

There’s a mega poster behind bar of this. I can’t wait to see an xmas burlesque poster.

More stink-eye and I look like the Queen and that’s not my arm.

Can’t tell if that’s a hipster costume or a hipster or a costume.

I look like I am flipping someone off.


K blog slave is here updating periodically.

Look I was voted best dressed at the brickworks picnic I went to by Toronto Standard.

OK brb i’m going to post my pamela anderson baywatch bathing suit photos now.