Raymi you’re a firewerk

I have many of these clips, each ranging/varying from extreme scary to mildly. I was hit by something that exploded while I was running to duck for cover in someone’s front porch. It is legal to set fireworks off from 10am to 2am on NYE plus all week long, it sounded like war for over a week. Cool but insane.

Good morning.

It’s not like this back home cos we are “over” fireworks but in Europe they just really enjoy blowing shit up.

Intermingled between the legal fireworks every so often would be an atomic blast, an “illegal” one and it was not for the faint of heart. Feel bad for the all the house pets out there.

One of these frigging things flew at me. Before NYE, 40 eye injuries and 23 fingers blasted off in all of Holland. Those numbers were certainly increased exponentially after new year’s eve night. Crazy euros.

More more more later, got tings to do. xo raymbo

Blog save the Queen

Hi sports fans.

I am sitting in this seat right now writing this. Mind blowing.

This is from a couple nights ago.

We live in the dark. Not today though, had an early start.

Dinner at the Dutch folk’s.

Everything and anything on the table was grilled (pan fried) in the end, we got creative with it.

On Xmas day I spoke to bf’s dad about what colour flowers these would be once they bloomed. Then this evening he pulled me aside and was like THEY WERE WHITE. Then we talked about lilacs and Hyacinth (which these are) and between our language barrier/difference and the garbage I was trying to sell, it was a pretty funny conversation. Ps. black licorice is disgusting. My nana and mom are all about it as well. I do not get black licorice. 0%.

We bought this meat package for ourselves as well, coincidentally – reduced from 19.99 Euro to 12.99. His mom got an even better deal than us. She always does! Clockwise from top left is Beef, duck, pork, chicken. All totally tasty.

Hi Aladdin condiments. I love this shit. It’s a special bottle for Christmas. You start questioning things like, is this normal or is this Dutch? BF’s uncle grilled like this a lot in France and they all thought it was a Dutch thing, but it isn’t. It’s just a thing. You can totally do this too. baha.

See where the white feathers came from? Mom gave us some as well. I tried to buy more decorations last night that were 50% off 2.99 no big deal right? Bf was like hell no well Frig HIM I am so putting more on the tree next chance I get lol.

Yesterday on our way to linner.

Continue reading

Wandelpad wanderer

We just came back from a walk. I saw my ducklings as adults that we fed in the spring. Whimsical MUCH!!? Pictures at the end of the post.

Ate this last night, we made it. Actually I got all the stuff out of the fridge and was mental support, as in, dragged him off the couch. People just need a bit of motivation and you still get half the credit. We don’t drink much (snore) but we eat like cray. I am having a Saturday beer right now though. When you get up to have coffee I am already beering it. NICE.

Front yard, jungle English YOLO garden. When we went to the movie bf said that Mitty was a Yolo movie. Bahaha TRUE.

A blue sky in the winter is like, oh right, that’s nice.

Replete with sky porn.

I have pictures of this stretch of road blanketed in spooky mist during a sunset, very neat.

Shut up you slot. “Loot locked out” according to google translate. Aka don’t leave valuables behind. I’ll keep you posted once confirmed.

If blind, you will also be allowed to enjoy this park despite not being able to see anything, you can feel the leaves of various things growing and then read about them cos there’s brail all over the park. How nice.

Handi-captains forevs. There but for the grace of God go I. Wandelpad for honorary mention. (footpath).

Plants get so much rain water here it’s like a g-damn jungle. No complaints yo.

I’m like a sasquatch, all blurry and I blend in. I had those oxblood wrecking ball doc’s #FIRST #Miley BTW. I’m flattered, really.

So we meet again necklace tree. I am obsessed with you. No shame, all fame.

Trying to get the flash to go off. This bitch needs backlight not below light. Frig.

We’ll def do this again though.

I told you it was windy! Some trees could not deal tho.

Goodbye mystery crazy-named Dutch tree!

Storm junkies at play.

Continue reading

Hollandaise Holidaze

Hi Christmas bros! Now, before fake-apologizing for my absence lets just get to it kay? Above is my tree. There is something satisfying about picking out a live tree, buying lights for it. Dressing it. Zzzzz. Blah blah, I made that shit son!

I love this scarf. Mostly in part because I selected it myself and have already mentally envisioned said self wearing it in various states of hanging out/working. Pumped.

Went for a Christmas walk today. I turned it kinda into aerobics, here I am side stepping – jumping rather. IIIIINTENSE. I also ran too. We ate early because sister had to work so my stuff was all said and done before you guys even woke up.

Watch out. Be careful. Thank you for your visit. Except w/o grammar.

Typical Dutch home, usually on a lot of land. Farms. Stereotypical awesomeness.

Look at the no snow. Also, it’s very mild. We had a crazy windstorm a couple days in a row and yesterday it rained uber gloomily yet you had spirit aboutcha from the xmas eve vibe. We had a fun day. Saw a movie with sis and her friend AND they sell beer there AND you get a pee break “pause” mid-flick, but mostly it’s for smokers which is also awesome. It makes movie night more social, less boring. Plus the movie concessions are bizarro world selections and you can get funnel cake-like deep-fried balls called: oliebol, half the posters are in Dutch. I mean all of them. But the movies are the same as back home. But with Dutch subtitles at the bottom. Everything is basically a trip. It’s all the same but different and you are constantly wondering if everyone is lookin at you because you look different or is it because you look the same but awesome?? Head buster.

Pauze is like break assumedly. I understand 15% of what people are saying and zone out the rest so it’s a massive mental holiday too for real. Starting to accrue funny verbal interactions with strangers moments as well note to self. Some assume I am American and yes, I do get attitude.

I got spoiled.

Scarf heaven. I look tired. We stay up late watching telly. We haven’t seen each other in 2 months, about. Plus it’s holidays why the fuh am I going to bed early for?

At his parent’s place. The girls were out smoking when we drove up they were dressed all nice it was a cute moment. I then connected to how mild it was here than in Canada as I saw them out on this balmy bench – they removed the plants to sit. I wouldn’t have thought of that.

The days are shorter because The Netherlands are more north. Less daylight and so daylight, is valued.

At sister’s last night before the movie, her and mom said I’m thinner. I’ve gained a kilo+ (3-5lbs?) since being here omg there is just so much to enjoy. YOLO.

Bike material for daaaaaaaaaaaays. All the pics will be slightly better too, this camera is ballin’ I almost forgot.

Then there are the food differences and just blowing tons of money at the supermarket, cheese is amazing, so is chocolate. Meat. Snacks. I am going to miss the light OJ, the getting booze from within the supermarket, these stick chips. SIGH.

Fashion is hot too. I will definitely be treating myself to some of that before I leave and I finally have the time to just do it period. I will also be most definitely paying extra for luggage weight on the way back. Early January are the sales too. I think that one’s pretty international though.


Oh here’s why people were staring, I looked like Peter Pan: Christmas Jiminiy Cricket edition. I was close to getting a pair of boots but patience was at an all time low. Ankle boots are in, I wanted a low heel pair but they had to be the best pair of the 200 or so varieties AND at best value (deep inner-seeded cheapstake syndrome) but bf left store and I was like “this shopping is about US!” Bahahahah. Then I started crying and we were like ok F-T, shopping is officially over. I know I’ll go get them once they’re all on super sale in January. I was angry because he made me suffer ADD-HELL boredom while he looked for a coat and fair is fair, you have to help me pick out boots and make this chore easier. You’d think shopping would be enjoyable. Nope!

Seeing everyone on these, and bikes, is really inspirational. Kids, young girls with long hair in braids just like tooling around it’s another life. You can ride town to town on the bike paths along the roadway, or all the way to Amsterdam and not have to be anxious about highway bullshit.

Bike dramas everywhere. Hey man he fell. The wind knocked over tons of bikes. The forest today had a lot of fallen over trees. We are storm junkies.

You’re welcome!

The difference is there’s relish in it. I relish the thought. I heard they were going to discontinue making relish because nobody likes it. Where did I hear that? Lol either way.

Haha aw. Our necklace is talking.

I got this half. I suppressed screaming out something like I’VE ALWAYS WANTED A SISTER. Like, the forever side could be anything she could just lie like she doesn’t mean it (haha hyper-insecurity sets in).

Why are you wearing red though? Red is my thing. Red is the jam on my bread. (it’s okay I am just joking we can share). It’s funny though we always show up kind of matching. #getoutofmyhead.

German steakhouse time. All of these have been backward by the way. I’ll turn the rest around now so the meal portion of the post makes sense.

Wearing my new Ralph Lauren sweater for the first time. I had a red one similar to it, maybe it was Tommy? Either way, I tend to have a red sweater at all times if I can manage it. Wow, this drivel is tops eh, are you on auto-pilot right now? hello tap tap.

Continue reading

are you writing the book or is the book writing you

Hi what’s up. Hi, hi, yeah yeah. So I took a lot of photos the day before we left leading up to the day we arrived then we got busy living life here and these ones got left behind, but now I’m going to take a special T-O and get’er done with it.

Here’s an irrelevant cotton candy sky though first. That night was good I imagine, think recollect. Didn’t summer whip by for you too?

A gift we left behind, too much weight. My exercise ball too thanks dutch mum! Can’t wait to bounce on that thing and sit for immeasurable hours on end while I tone. Keep that posture postured, work out the kinks in my affinity for hunch.

Discovered that peach polish the night before should have bought it. I’ll find it again.

Baha with the scarf I look like that mexican mouse cartoon loser in a scene where he flies a plane and then all the foibles and hi-jinxes occur, right?

He makes me take landmarks of everything pictures and in his accent says, “take thees baby it is of very recognizable thing.” ha aw.

I’m like ten pounds lighter since this holy shit traveling nana potato.

Smoke hot box.

We had about an hour+ to kill.

I want to stay in a Yotel.

Dutch people have problems with the letter Y, they pronounce it Jotel. Jogurt. Ha. So it’s funny that this is called Yotel at the Amsterdam airport where NO ONE will say it right.


Kay easy easy now. Oh look more amsterdam actually visiting the city pictures shit is just scattered and sprinkled everywhere, sighrry.

Alright alright nice.

No wait, done.

Chocolate to what?

Don’t tell me what to do.

These I smoked when I was in England.

Worst cookie ever. It’s like black forest cake, you can’t just put two things together and call it a day. It’s so bland, artificial.


WTF IS THIS NOW!!!?? Moreos! BARF.

Much better. It’s like people who like licorice. You guys are fucked.

Tulip nation. During the war, people ate tulip bulbs when they were starving and had no money for food. Count your blessings.

I <3 NY plus I <3 Aruba etc was copied from the I am Amsterdam slogan. #Fact.

This kid wanted us to do an airport/travel satisfaction of some sort survey I said sure but you gotta haul ass with us around the corner to another smoking room while we hook you up with answers.

He was like Charlie Bucket in the modern future.

See the woman pouring milk, woah relax.

This room was less disgusting on account of the window light but it was still hot and smokey stuffy.

Spicy Maxima and the king. Is she Queen now then? Cos his mother was Queen and it’s not like she passed Maxima her crown, so I dunno. I got this tin of cookies for my Nana.

How could someone leave these behind?


Hello anybody in there.

It’s our plane. An Air France KLM one, I see (make up your mind?).

Our tv’s did not work for the entire flight of 7 hours – boarding early time sitting in there from start to fin and those are pretty expensive plane tickets so it was pretty shitty, just saying.

Leg room consolation prize. The guy beside us cashed out immediately for the entire flight. We sat on that chair across from our seats here on that fold-out flight attendant seat whom of which was an adorable little sprite. One flight attendant was super rude to my bf every time he got up to walk around and stretch his legs, it was strange like an I hate you cos you’re straight kind of bossy way. Bf was like I have to avoid him because I will lose my temper next time. It was so passive aggressive and we did not appreciate it at all and he wouldn’t have been roving around had our bloody tv screens worked KLM. All I wanted to do was zone out and snooze to Cinderella and other guilt plej movies/shows.

We kept busy, drinking and sharing his laptop and watching life of pi til the battery died/meal time. We interacted which turned to bickering off and on, thanks KLM. We totally needed naps. Had a late night and spent the day in a frenzy getting all last minute shit done and shutting down the house, packing, train travel it was a definite mish.

We had great weather our first morning, all day in Canada. It was a happy fun time. Okay I got things to do now thanks for that!

Me this morning hello goodbye.

relax relapse

Just sigh. Commentary actually entertaining. We fed these ducks for about 3 months, watched them grow. They run to us when we arrive, an anti-social laborious daily project of love. We built up to getting to this stage in the duck-friending/feeding process and close with them which created a sort of pecking boundary issue coupled with my overall fear of being pecked. By any sort of thing with a beak.

Anniversary dinner at the Dutch Apotheek, The night I cut myself. bf and his mates used to terrorize waiters with their translated insults lol.

This night :) ha.

It’s Sunday blog movie night special, yeah? Uploading some classics from abroad, check back at will.

Here we are driving into the city for a spontaneous food drink bite nibble and sis dropped in on us. It is always most usually raining for short spurts then stops.

Neverland Netherlands

People wee on this thing bf says so I’ve never sat on it but trust me I so want to, think of the photo opps.

Hair is fabulously red now I must remember to dye it more frequently. One last little shopping excursion, got cougar short shorts and some other shirts. Had a 3 hour shop-a-thon with Mummsy today, man that chick can find the goods :). Now I just have to decide who gets what.

Something for sis.

We went for a bike ride and saw a wild pheasant which I think was actually a female peacock or that’s the same thing, we followed it along this little stream then went through a corn field. Gaddamn I’ma miss this place. We went on a teeter totter too. The kid’s parks here are ridonkulously designed.

This shirt would get way too much attention, passed on it. There was another goofy one that said F-CK SWAG. except not bleeped out. You’ll see the rest of my scores as I wear them.

I lit a smoke with a cat lighter too, just too much haha. It was sister’s and had one of those bbq lighter style extensions you steal from the garage wtf.

BOOOOOOOOOBOOOOOOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOO OMG loved him. Flicked carpaccio (finger nail sized so like nothing) at him but he didn’t notice wahh sad face. The lesbo (or sisters)(or sisters who are also lesbians? trust me I know lesbians) owners were like, these people are making us look bad for loving our dog so much. BTW BF says booboodoodoo now too anytime an animal is on the scene except he can’t say it right but still the tone is correct.

Okay I gotta go now I’m tired couch time blah blah miss this place already.

Ps my latest v-spot is up. Here’s one of the videos I chose.

TRIGGER WARNING (You’re supposed to say that on the internet when the following information is a doozy and may literally hit home) In this domestic violence PSA, Keira Knightley yells cut which is hard to discern if it’s real or not on account of her shitty acting but the point is IRL you can’t say CUT to get your psycho boyfriend to stop hitting you. We had a tense sinking stomach feeling when watching this clip cos we’ve had some shite bf’s in our day not to mention every man on the face of the planet is a moody sonofabitch (you are don’t lie) far too many women have to walk on eggshells around. If you’re in an abusive relationship, or know someone who may be, there is help: Call: 800-799-SAFE or visit National Domestic Violence Hotline Or call me I’ll sort it out for you!


I am a minx WTH did you thinks

Hi hi. Sunday funday beginneth. Nah. Sunday funday means getting blasted all day long which is nice and all but I’m not 23 anymore but don’t worry I’ll never cross a day drunk off my list of most desired activities. Anyway, yesterday we did the garage and the dump then drove to Germany to hit the pool with the steep water slide and this time only I went down it and I whipped myself down it with too much momentum and did not enjoy the outcome. First of all it is TERRIFYING looking straight down that thing as you’re going down it and it’s too late to turn back and there’s no way you can prevent water from going into every hole in your body, ears nose mouth eyes yes there and there too.

I wore my ymca baywatch suit which is always a little confusing and attention grabbing at a public pool where the lifeguards (dude ones) also wear red suits and I henceforth look like the laziest lifeguard ever, tanning my back with it pulled down, or fighting the waves in the wave pool with snot coming out of my face and holding on to the wall with the kids and my bf and then geronimo catching a wave yeah this chick is definitely not a lifeguard HOWEVER I am a trained lifeguard, trained to be one so if someone was drowning I could save that shit or if someone was and I did nothing about it I would be charged for not doing squat, that`s what our trainer told us once we made it to the last and highest lesson in lifesaving right after telling us all these scary stories of jumping in flash floods and rushing water rivers to save drowning morons ughhh. Like how karate bros hands are basically weapons and if they engage in a street fight and pulverize someone who attacks them the grey area of self defense is mega-blurred cos like you’re Chuck Norris and that guy is just Chuckie Cheese in comparison, not a balanced fight essentially.

Wolf whistle. Don’t worry IRL I’ll wear a bra with this guy. I don’t know how I ever got through life with a straight face before w/o wearing a bra much to the chagrin of my mother plus every boyfriend, I enjoyed the freedom but I remember one day in Brooklyn when I was 18 on 7th Ave. it was a bit much, I had men following us in the street we had to stop for pizza to shake them off us. I just tried to find you guys a picture of that day but my archives are too messy so FT.

Here’s the pics I uploaded yesterday, a very hot day and now it’s blazing hot we’re gonna go for a bike ride after. STOKED. I mean, I am normal levels excited. Time to stop talking like a surfer now. Yeah right maybe when you all stop talking like a betch which will never happen so surf’s up bro. Anyway, went crazy discounts shopping with ma and then sis the next day, these earrings I found 3 pairs for a Euro. Yeah yeah hell yeah.

Gorgeous farm country I’ll never get sick of, makes me appreciate places like Milton a little bit more. I enjoy the European flare more obvs though but who wouldn’t?

Can fashion stores not be purveyors of proper quality nail varnish? This stuff is better than AA’s at least. Going to paint a nice metallic light princess pink I got from the pharmacy and see how that goes.

Tractors urrywhere here.

I like how the roads look here you drive with the line between your car and take up as much room as you want til another car comes toward you, sometimes in a narrower section you’re pressed up against the trees and brush as a mega truck goes by sphincter-spasming hella close, it’s basically like chicken a lot who gets to the teeny bridge first, some drivers are a-holes others are courteous and polite.

Festival bracelets. All I need is to go to one now. Got a pack for my niece. And a sweet shirt that I also got for myself.

Sweet. Jockolate bars. Cool story bro, eat this.

Regrets. Was havin’ a skinny day then we did this. At least sis had one too.

KFComa. People watching on that patio was the best. Then we hit up the electronics store, where I saw mini Jay-Z and then Ikea. Ikea here is exactly the same as it is in Canada. Every time we go BF tells me the horse meatball story again, barf.

I see you. After shopping the sun came out.

We tried to go for secret ice cream and henceforth secret beer but bf summoned us back.

Always time for a cig and a street photoshoot though.

That shirt has thicker stripes on the back and the jeggings are the best, pockets in the back got another pair in a darker denim wash.

Bicycle bombs away.

Liar I don’t have prancercising camel toe.

I bought the most beautiful and uncomfortable hot pink sandal flats now I know why they were reduced to five euros. Maybe they’re just for like, floating in? Who designed them the cardboard man?

In that bag (the embarrassing store apparently, you know you buy stuff from a certain place but you don’t want people to know it? That kind of bag) are three pairs of shorts thank god. People who wear pants all summer long are insane.

So I wanted to hold her pretty bag instead while I am talking to bf about secret ice cream. It’s not a secret if you tell everyone about it. We were SO CLOSE.

Nice hat I have yeah. No one takes photos here cos it’s like, no big deal to the non-tourists so I always look crazy but you know what’s crazy? Taking this scenery for granted, idiots. Tot ziens!

She got me the same scarf, I wore it yesterday. She bought me an entire duplicate outfit to one she got herself cos there’s a twin competition here LOL we have yet to enter it though. We’re the same age, height, same size for the most part and same hair colour and are both hilarious and sneaky so why not.

Euuuuuuuurope, You’re up.

Cool face bro.

Sis was changing beside me and goes are you taking pictures? Ha yes.

Sister scored the same onesie. Bra shoppes are hidden outfit gemtasticals.

BTW don’t forget about your best friend MY BOYFRIEND IS ANGRY! Shower time excellent.