Raymi abroad continued

Continuing now with my nonsense of things from abroad, here is my last Friday night in Holland. They had that edible paper pasted to our bread and I’m covering the name because I am private like that. Anyway I tasted it and it was like very fine barely even paper bland/remniscent of the bread flavour in taste. That sentence fuckin sucked, sorry.

I love this place for various reasons, multiple sentimental levels that if I typed them out you’d just big fat “oh so what” yawn at me for it. It’s a shower then it’s a grower but it still agitates you a bit because after final dinner service it turns into a night club, the energy is palpable to you as you dine and especially on a Friday night. It’s an influential vibe as in, you drink.

Then another night he had a croquette and beer craving, one of those days you just eat nothing satisfying I suppose so we went out late to this one somewhat local place, we threw maybe ten euros in coins into this and lost it all pretty fast but the best part was watching two dudes come in and play a machine each and you could tell they were on a tear, a full Euro tear. People watching in Europe is 1000% more interesting especially if you know what country they come from because they are so much closer to it, and all those things you’ve heard about this such and such a person or that becomes live before your very eyes. I can’t describe it, I won’t. It’s just good.

Same place. We came here one of my first nights too. They only let us leave with our tall boys instead of serve us beer there. Funny laws in Europe and loop holes everywhere. This night however we made it in time and it was packed with truck drivers, lots of Polish ones and other east Euro kinds. It’s infuriating not being able to understand anybody because my boyfriend erupts in laughter every other minute and I’m like WHAT?? WHAT!? And he has to continue listening because it’s so good whatever they’re saying and by the time they’re done we have to whisper talk because they notice we’re watching, and the moment is over.

This was my last Thursday. We visited our favourite park, the one with the trees and flowers and the necklace and our only other social life, the ducks we fed since they were ducklings.

Everything we did this week was tainted with emo because I was leaving soon. No snow though bro.

bf asked if my outfit was a Canadian flag ahhaha.

A girl at work was wearing similar Pumas to these today except with extra embellishments and flare. I pointed them out and commented. I left behind ALL of my shoes from spring. It feels like being a divorced kid.

Then when something cute happens or we laugh we’re like aw ahahahh then sad because wah going to miss that. He pretended he was filming me so I was all berserk wtf.

5 papes left warning/calling card.

Me in Germany with my friend.

Now we are in Germany on my last Tuesday. I only know this from hanging up a calendar and Flickr tells me the date the photo was taken (the 14th), quite handy that. I flew the sixteenth so depression was at an all time high.

Peach/pink gorgeous place is where that yuppie told us to eat.

Considered the Ratskeller lol.

Looking over the menu, smoking.

La vie. Agree.


He’s emo, I relate.

Attention span over plus Dateline is on PEACE!!!!


Euro continuation continueth. I uploaded these, last week? Anyway who cares, don’t have much time now even to do this cos I am finally going shopping today and I am pumped.

We went for lunch in this town I have been to several times before, it’s nice to town hop and be elusive to people you may or may not bump into plus it adds travel factor for my bf, maybe? ps. at night these xmasy things look like this. we drove through before looking to eat but the place was swarming with party peeps. Weren’t into it.

To the left is the resto we chose, we ate there in the spring/summer just before we left for Canada. I wore the same striped shirt both times, what are the odds. Actually the odds are rather good because my euro wardrobe always seems to be limited.

Giving you a feel for it.

Bike nation.

One Canadian dork coming right up.

The Hello Kitty bar. People sit on the inside with the heaters and they can smoke in there but it’s not smokey like you’d expect. It’s super fun and the vibe was v holiday, I much enjoyed watching tables of geezers drink and blather on to one another. I thought of my grandpa.

First we sat inside.

Then a table popped up. Behind me was a line of people (grey haireds) and I’m sure were quite inquisitive of my picture snap/posing. It’s called being a tourist. Deal with it.

Sister got me this scarf, she has one too and also one for her bestie. The year of scarves. Kind of like when big necklaces were my thing, you can just wear a lame H&M tee but a big accessory makes it look like you made effort.

Dutch mom gave me a suitcase of beauty products. Love it.

This is the shirt I wore here last time. Heh. You ever get caught doing that or go into a store wearing merchandise from it and feel like a total dweeb like omg everyone is going to notice. No one notices/cares, everyone is self-involved.

Resistance is futile. I resisted. My wrap didn’t require mayo and I dipped my fries in its sauce instead. Score one me.

Dutch goths keeping the dream alive. You do you.

Our table lamp. Adorablah.


hers. I ate this last time too and it was a miracle to recall what it was that I ate previously, cos I knew it was awesome but what the hell was it? Tandoori wrap, but you think it was written in English on the menu? NEWP.

Grolsch is the Molson Canadian of Holland. Drinking it back home is like, yeah cool but to be where it hails from is neat.

Teeniest ice rink ever but cool and they built a bar for the parents. Of course they did.

Whee Christmas light tree.

Some days later we went out early to do some errands.

One of these days I’ll manicure up.

Morning hair/face. Slathered on lip gloss to be less disgusting in the face.

It’s just so sticky.

I like this road, err highway. Two lanes in a valley.

Be careful of 600 deer.

Errand one found me pretending to read Dutch magazines while my bf had a quick meeting. I was scared someone would start talking to me and realize for the last ten minutes I was pretending to read and they’d know that because I’d be all, in English please. Lol. No one spoke to me, just smiled curiously.

It was lunch hour too so all the jokers came out to mingle and eat and I thought about my office. Time is flying by I’ll be back in 9 days.

Then we went for lunch.

But I gotta get in the shower now sorry to leave you hanging. Stay warm Canada I hear it’s brutal over there. Here it is mild and we broke records yesterday and today for that. Makes up for the cold ass spring I endured before here.

Check ya laterrrrrrrrrrr.

Raymi you’re a firewerk

I have many of these clips, each ranging/varying from extreme scary to mildly. I was hit by something that exploded while I was running to duck for cover in someone’s front porch. It is legal to set fireworks off from 10am to 2am on NYE plus all week long, it sounded like war for over a week. Cool but insane.

Good morning.

It’s not like this back home cos we are “over” fireworks but in Europe they just really enjoy blowing shit up.

Intermingled between the legal fireworks every so often would be an atomic blast, an “illegal” one and it was not for the faint of heart. Feel bad for the all the house pets out there.

One of these frigging things flew at me. Before NYE, 40 eye injuries and 23 fingers blasted off in all of Holland. Those numbers were certainly increased exponentially after new year’s eve night. Crazy euros.

More more more later, got tings to do. xo raymbo

Hollandaise Holidaze

Hi Christmas bros! Now, before fake-apologizing for my absence lets just get to it kay? Above is my tree. There is something satisfying about picking out a live tree, buying lights for it. Dressing it. Zzzzz. Blah blah, I made that shit son!

I love this scarf. Mostly in part because I selected it myself and have already mentally envisioned said self wearing it in various states of hanging out/working. Pumped.

Went for a Christmas walk today. I turned it kinda into aerobics, here I am side stepping – jumping rather. IIIIINTENSE. I also ran too. We ate early because sister had to work so my stuff was all said and done before you guys even woke up.

Watch out. Be careful. Thank you for your visit. Except w/o grammar.

Typical Dutch home, usually on a lot of land. Farms. Stereotypical awesomeness.

Look at the no snow. Also, it’s very mild. We had a crazy windstorm a couple days in a row and yesterday it rained uber gloomily yet you had spirit aboutcha from the xmas eve vibe. We had a fun day. Saw a movie with sis and her friend AND they sell beer there AND you get a pee break “pause” mid-flick, but mostly it’s for smokers which is also awesome. It makes movie night more social, less boring. Plus the movie concessions are bizarro world selections and you can get funnel cake-like deep-fried balls called: oliebol, half the posters are in Dutch. I mean all of them. But the movies are the same as back home. But with Dutch subtitles at the bottom. Everything is basically a trip. It’s all the same but different and you are constantly wondering if everyone is lookin at you because you look different or is it because you look the same but awesome?? Head buster.

Pauze is like break assumedly. I understand 15% of what people are saying and zone out the rest so it’s a massive mental holiday too for real. Starting to accrue funny verbal interactions with strangers moments as well note to self. Some assume I am American and yes, I do get attitude.

I got spoiled.

Scarf heaven. I look tired. We stay up late watching telly. We haven’t seen each other in 2 months, about. Plus it’s holidays why the fuh am I going to bed early for?

At his parent’s place. The girls were out smoking when we drove up they were dressed all nice it was a cute moment. I then connected to how mild it was here than in Canada as I saw them out on this balmy bench – they removed the plants to sit. I wouldn’t have thought of that.

The days are shorter because The Netherlands are more north. Less daylight and so daylight, is valued.

At sister’s last night before the movie, her and mom said I’m thinner. I’ve gained a kilo+ (3-5lbs?) since being here omg there is just so much to enjoy. YOLO.

Bike material for daaaaaaaaaaaays. All the pics will be slightly better too, this camera is ballin’ I almost forgot.

Then there are the food differences and just blowing tons of money at the supermarket, cheese is amazing, so is chocolate. Meat. Snacks. I am going to miss the light OJ, the getting booze from within the supermarket, these stick chips. SIGH.

Fashion is hot too. I will definitely be treating myself to some of that before I leave and I finally have the time to just do it period. I will also be most definitely paying extra for luggage weight on the way back. Early January are the sales too. I think that one’s pretty international though.


Oh here’s why people were staring, I looked like Peter Pan: Christmas Jiminiy Cricket edition. I was close to getting a pair of boots but patience was at an all time low. Ankle boots are in, I wanted a low heel pair but they had to be the best pair of the 200 or so varieties AND at best value (deep inner-seeded cheapstake syndrome) but bf left store and I was like “this shopping is about US!” Bahahahah. Then I started crying and we were like ok F-T, shopping is officially over. I know I’ll go get them once they’re all on super sale in January. I was angry because he made me suffer ADD-HELL boredom while he looked for a coat and fair is fair, you have to help me pick out boots and make this chore easier. You’d think shopping would be enjoyable. Nope!

Seeing everyone on these, and bikes, is really inspirational. Kids, young girls with long hair in braids just like tooling around it’s another life. You can ride town to town on the bike paths along the roadway, or all the way to Amsterdam and not have to be anxious about highway bullshit.

Bike dramas everywhere. Hey man he fell. The wind knocked over tons of bikes. The forest today had a lot of fallen over trees. We are storm junkies.

You’re welcome!

The difference is there’s relish in it. I relish the thought. I heard they were going to discontinue making relish because nobody likes it. Where did I hear that? Lol either way.

Haha aw. Our necklace is talking.

I got this half. I suppressed screaming out something like I’VE ALWAYS WANTED A SISTER. Like, the forever side could be anything she could just lie like she doesn’t mean it (haha hyper-insecurity sets in).

Why are you wearing red though? Red is my thing. Red is the jam on my bread. (it’s okay I am just joking we can share). It’s funny though we always show up kind of matching. #getoutofmyhead.

German steakhouse time. All of these have been backward by the way. I’ll turn the rest around now so the meal portion of the post makes sense.

Wearing my new Ralph Lauren sweater for the first time. I had a red one similar to it, maybe it was Tommy? Either way, I tend to have a red sweater at all times if I can manage it. Wow, this drivel is tops eh, are you on auto-pilot right now? hello tap tap.

Continue reading

Neverland Netherlands

People wee on this thing bf says so I’ve never sat on it but trust me I so want to, think of the photo opps.

Hair is fabulously red now I must remember to dye it more frequently. One last little shopping excursion, got cougar short shorts and some other shirts. Had a 3 hour shop-a-thon with Mummsy today, man that chick can find the goods :). Now I just have to decide who gets what.

Something for sis.

We went for a bike ride and saw a wild pheasant which I think was actually a female peacock or that’s the same thing, we followed it along this little stream then went through a corn field. Gaddamn I’ma miss this place. We went on a teeter totter too. The kid’s parks here are ridonkulously designed.

This shirt would get way too much attention, passed on it. There was another goofy one that said F-CK SWAG. except not bleeped out. You’ll see the rest of my scores as I wear them.

I lit a smoke with a cat lighter too, just too much haha. It was sister’s and had one of those bbq lighter style extensions you steal from the garage wtf.

BOOOOOOOOOBOOOOOOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOO OMG loved him. Flicked carpaccio (finger nail sized so like nothing) at him but he didn’t notice wahh sad face. The lesbo (or sisters)(or sisters who are also lesbians? trust me I know lesbians) owners were like, these people are making us look bad for loving our dog so much. BTW BF says booboodoodoo now too anytime an animal is on the scene except he can’t say it right but still the tone is correct.

Okay I gotta go now I’m tired couch time blah blah miss this place already.

Ps my latest v-spot is up. Here’s one of the videos I chose.

TRIGGER WARNING (You’re supposed to say that on the internet when the following information is a doozy and may literally hit home) In this domestic violence PSA, Keira Knightley yells cut which is hard to discern if it’s real or not on account of her shitty acting but the point is IRL you can’t say CUT to get your psycho boyfriend to stop hitting you. We had a tense sinking stomach feeling when watching this clip cos we’ve had some shite bf’s in our day not to mention every man on the face of the planet is a moody sonofabitch (you are don’t lie) far too many women have to walk on eggshells around. If you’re in an abusive relationship, or know someone who may be, there is help: Call: 800-799-SAFE or visit National Domestic Violence Hotline Or call me I’ll sort it out for you!


fight back with sexy

Hi “people” what day is it today, Saturday? Groovy. My stay in Neverland Netherlands is coming to an end next week so it’s like, “cray” I guess. Loose end tying up sorta thing, tidying up and of course maybe a fraction of all that has been accomplished.

There’s a party tonight we were gonna go to but can’t afford the three day hangover so we’s aint’s. Too bad though I kinda wanted to show myself off some more before leaving, get drunk and then belligerent with a local or two about Canada or whatever. It can wait.

It was our 3 month anniversary on Thursday and yeah 3 months is nothing but I think it’s important to acknowledge milestones in the beginning cos eventually you won’t anymore, moms count their baby’s ages by months so the infancy of relationships can so too cos you never know how they’re gonna go or last so three months is a lifetime especially when you’re inseparable, you can easily take each other for granted in your jogging pants oh hi you again yeah hey, anyway long story short we celebrated with dinner and drinks already so don’t feel up to partying again tonight. Fuck I’m old bouncing back is impossible.

Happy Pride Toronto and anyone else who cares, have you ever been arrested by a gay cop before? Looks fun right this is their station. I’m like hey cool Pride and bf is uh what? It’s like that every day of the year haha SWEET.

I hurted myself. I am a “blogger” kay so I take pictures of things and sometimes those things can cut you.

It bled forever. This place did not at all give a shit either which was more hilarious, oh Europe. It’s like I fell down all the stairs in your establishment and they’d ask if you had a good time.

If a kid did this in Canada or The States it would have gone over a lot differently.

Coulda been worse but it still bled forever. Bf walked in after five minutes of me not coming back from the bathroom and was like what now hahaha. I was mostly annoyed cos it happened before I could go pee so I was bleeding and really had to go. Always go before you start the photoshoot I guess.

It’s hard to see glass on glass and oh I dunno wasn’t expecting a weapon like this. I pulled it out to get a better picture and that plunged into my thumb.

The beginning’s damage. When you first cut yourself or injure yourself there’s a moment of denial then wonderment of how bad is this going to be.

Loved the restaurant though, it’s an apotheek. I told you what that means before and the thing I cut myself with has something to do with that.

Freckle freckly.

Can you tell what that is.

We were totally under-dressed for this place, don’t care. Weren’t even planning to go out to eat, it started with a walk and then ducks and then dinner. I own pretentious places, in that that’s my mentality to not be intimidated at all, I’ve seen behind the scenes in kitchens and I’m a foodie so the allure just isn’t there, your fancy facade is just that.

It’s a great place though and we’ll def go back and the owner loved me/us and we minxed her. I got a bag of macaroons as a cutting myself consolation prize. I hate coconut, ok I don’t I just hate macaroons. Bf is all about ‘em though. There’s so many more pictures I took here but for some reason only selected these few when I got back Thurs night then was “over it”.

Common last name here. Giggle.

Duck Jesus. This time they got melba toast. Unsalted. It’s just one tiny batch of ducks, it’s not Ontario so the whole don’t feed them thing doesn’t fly plus we don’t care and I’m leaving in a week anyway they can go back to eating lake garbage.

For my uncle.

This reminds me there’s more work to do ughhhhhhhh. I’m actually secretly finishing this can off right now heheh.

Making soup makes a steamy kitchen. Alright that’s all I uploaded sorry for wasting your time. It’s Saturday you’re lucky you got anything at all. Have a nice w/e. RLW.

ps. good work New Yorker!


Rembrandt Square, Amsterdam. Lets go guys.

All your postcards are in here then I had to buy more because I forgot some of you. I swear I’m mailing them today. Snail mail is fail mail what get off me that’s why people don’t anymore.

Party going down on the other side of that bridge lots of security cop stand-ins.

Jamie Oliver’s Fifteen.

There’s the party. SIGH. It would have taken a lot of drugs to reach the stamina required for that circus I was already bagged from the road voyage, stopping off at towns along the way. Why would we spend our whole time at a festival when we didn’t go to the one going on back home? I super want to experience one before we go though.

I think my idea for a science fiction bikes come alive at night and wreak havoc on the city movie should be filmed here. Piles of shoddy cgi bikes roving the streets and being ghost ridden down stairs and off canal bridges. I am not letting this idea go.

Of course arty farty shots a blogger’s legacy I so photo right now.

Blurry cos we did two drives through the city before parking the car. It’s a bike city because it’s the highest cost of parking in all of Europe and the clock starts once you ditch that thing.

The outskirts action is the garish bright city lights tourist trap and all the cooler stuff is contained down side streets tucked behind within, kind of french quarter style. But multiples thereof.

Everything gets cheaper the further in you venture cos all the lazy dumb asses stay on the outsides.

I loved him. Stressed out hair guy then there’s ear spacers guy for a close second.

The original apple. JOKES.

Got ya.

Drag queen and a chick in super scary high heels for cobblestones.

At least it wasn’t raining.

Tourist outskirts.

Spadina Ave style.

Now without chicks in the way.

It moves.

Testing out my new legs.

Okay now where.

To the cool stuff. Making our way in.

I would.

This looks like a good start.

I encounter many spiral staircases over here. I like them.

Older buildings w/o elevators make for a skinnier nation.

Don’t ask me what this place is called I’m sure you can find it.

Dutch for you can’t sit with us.

People watching here was great, one by one each table was filled with new curiosities of various kind.

Studying this COFFEE ONLY date was, awkward. Bf said she knew we were watching but like you’re in our line of sight we tried not to stare too hard but I quickly figured out exactly what was going on. Her protecting-self body language coffee cup barrier was screaming out loud for all to hear, you guys are dressed up way too nice for coffee in a place like this on a Sunday, the following day being a holiday. Definitely a date. Coffee means I don’t like you and he was well finished his plus another reason they were not a couple was how much smiling was going on while making mundane chit chat, you so do not smile when you you’re talking about bullshit. Do I grin when I tell elaborate and brief accounts of the history of my life and do you smile back when you hear that? Only if you have to if we’re on a fucking date!

Then we got a bit buzzed and stopped being so self conscious about talking like we’re here too okay is that fucking ok with you? Plus in English there’s a chance no one can understand anyway and whispering is a catty tell-tale gossiping give-away, just bounce your crap off the room and stop trying to be so polite to the world all the time no matter how nice you are people are always going to be annoyed, take a little you time and calls it likes ya sees it why not.

Shark mouth.

Bartender guy was laserbeaming me fine if you’re not going to stop staring then you’re gettin’ captured that’s how these things (cameras) work buddy. He was nbd about it. I like that bar set-up.

Gotta go spread ourselves around. Downstairs and outside for some food. Food btw is one English word I get imitated by, apparently I say it like how Americans think Canadians say a-boot. But how he imitates me is no way how I actually say FOOD so now it’s just a running stupid gag. It’s funny how just saying a word stupidly can be funny. Small things, big minds. Oh and yesterday the sister asked why Americans hate Canadians. Then I explained that for ten minutes.

All the patios have heat lamps under the tents and blankets on offer. We got our table we wanted to switch to cos we were in a cold pocket stolen by German chicks (bitches) and then I compromised and took one of the abandoned blankets from it like fuck you take our table AND the blankets too? No way. Then they gave slit eye glances at us until we left and THEN they felt like assholes when I offered them the blanket and not someone else. Patio politics.

Someone always orders carpaccio.

Soy sauce in gelatin form how bizarre, novel and delicious think it was infused with wasabi too.

Nice place I have the matchbook of it I’ll check out on the web after/never.

Tulips of course.

Cheese country.

And naughty city.

Three hundred euro love doll.

The new fives.


So when you screw up drawing a pin-up’s legs just turn her into a mermaid.

Hate to say it but to be continued… POST TITLE CREDIT GOES TO BLAYNE! Big lover of Amsterdam, has been many times and now I have a list of bars to go to for next visit. Solid.