Instagram party time. Holy smokes, what is going on with that hair? Europe that’s what.

Piper champagne, fancy. Here’s a link to it in Russian it’s the first thing I found also the price. Kind of ridiculously awesome. When I first ever came here in the spring he got me a bottle of moet and 80 white tulips. Maybe 90. He brought a lone one to the airport as a psyche-out and I was like oh thanks (sarcastically in my head) then saw the rest of the bouqet on the couch. This time however, no flower at the airport and I thought okay, now that you have the cow and the milk… lol. I think romance is key and should remain a constant throughout and if it’s not there then why are you? Seen. Maybe I should write a guide to romance. Lance Romance – Raymi’s romantical guide to life. It involves farting. BOOM.

Speaking of cow. It moos in the parking lot at the airport so you remember where you parked. OKAAAAAAAAAAAY?

That guy looks almost as floored as me.

I remembered I spoke to Papa from this bar in the spring. Thinking about you often.

I look like a tool. I try to look as toolishly as possible when traveling, as a decoy means as I suffer travel anxiety of epic proportions. I am superstitious too. I wore one of those angel things you stick in your lapel, from my Nana. Someone always gives me one of those, someone religious and I always wear it and pretend it is out of respect but truly it’s cos I’m superstitious but 1. took all the sacraments and adequate blessings there are from birth to confirmation so my ass is covered just in case and 2. it’s a gift from someone to my Nana for my grandfather’s funeral, something that was sent… flowers, some sort of food? nana loves me, I’m traveling – it’s a travel custom. I bet you have some of these things as gifts too. It makes me feel closer to my nana and papa PLUS it goes with my whole dweeb thing and you guys should be writing these notes down. Sidenote: that’s the one picture I uploaded since arriving then realized Ipads don’t have right click paste html function ability here, so I didn’t blog for ten days.

And in that time we painted/renovated the stairway walls on all levels of the house etc with our friend, and ate a lot of brie, baguettes and garlic sauce.

There’s a bag of more ornaments at his mom’s house but I think we are good.

It looks less shitty IRL. The tree itself is amazing, nothing like at back home. Very fresh as there’s so many lots to buy from – from the entire landscape of where we’re situated having scores of farms of tree fields. It’s a nordman tree btw. If it’s in Canada, forgive me. Normally it’s all pine trees and super dry needles. I paid ten euros for it. Same for the lights and we got one box too many so woulda been cheaper.

Shoarma. Yes, shawarma. Good thing you need garlic sauce for this. Dutch staple.

Dutch subtitles for everything we watch.

Driving from Amsterdam. Tired but wired!

I made my way to the front of the plane once we were free to leave our seats when we landed, near business class, where the exit was planted firmly between the two classes. And a flight attendant SHOVED ME out of the way of the stairwell I was already nowhere near, because business class from up there were to exit before me. But no one was there. I said DON’T TOUCH ME when she was done barking at me. Then she, and everyone who saw knew I meant business and she stepped back, said desperately “But I don’t want to touch you!” the second the door opened I bolted, just wanting to get the fuck out of there. Another flight attendant dished up some passive aggression to me as well for no reason. I just don’t get it. Did I pay $1555 for that? Our televisions didn’t work when we flew back in the spring on the same airline. They told me to make a formal complaint. Maybe I will, and throw these new circumstances into the mix. You know there’s half the population out there you just know are basically, assholes? You see their trainwreck treatment coming too. That was who served me on a 7 hour flight. Then I was shoved by another one. COOL! ps. Write a formal complaint? I ain’t got time for that. I wrote about it already on my blog and here again now, Jesus.

More brie. This one was great. Oozy.

Thank god I’m not lactose intolerant. Knock on wood. I think it’s a crime for British people to be unable to eat cheese. Although it is super fattening.

Luckily I do not crave sugar at all. Sorry I don’t want your dessert don’t take it so personally. I would be ten times fatter if I ate chocolate considering all the stuff and style in which I consume. There was a time I think I was dating a lot then and I craved sugar with all those meals and drinks, it was out of control and I wondered what the hell was wrong with me. But it has been awhile now that I don’t feel the urge to eat sweet, except whenever something weird or normal crosses my path. My bf however is a massive diabetic in training with the truckloads of #crapheeats.

Christmas eve shopping. I nexted the bow because I had to wear a toque because it was raining. Because because because.

And dinner was eaten here. Okay, it’s movie time gotta split. (I haven’t at all edited this yet so, excuuuuuuse me).

are you writing the book or is the book writing you

Hi what’s up. Hi, hi, yeah yeah. So I took a lot of photos the day before we left leading up to the day we arrived then we got busy living life here and these ones got left behind, but now I’m going to take a special T-O and get’er done with it.

Here’s an irrelevant cotton candy sky though first. That night was good I imagine, think recollect. Didn’t summer whip by for you too?

A gift we left behind, too much weight. My exercise ball too thanks dutch mum! Can’t wait to bounce on that thing and sit for immeasurable hours on end while I tone. Keep that posture postured, work out the kinks in my affinity for hunch.

Discovered that peach polish the night before should have bought it. I’ll find it again.

Baha with the scarf I look like that mexican mouse cartoon loser in a scene where he flies a plane and then all the foibles and hi-jinxes occur, right?

He makes me take landmarks of everything pictures and in his accent says, “take thees baby it is of very recognizable thing.” ha aw.

I’m like ten pounds lighter since this holy shit traveling nana potato.

Smoke hot box.

We had about an hour+ to kill.

I want to stay in a Yotel.

Dutch people have problems with the letter Y, they pronounce it Jotel. Jogurt. Ha. So it’s funny that this is called Yotel at the Amsterdam airport where NO ONE will say it right.


Kay easy easy now. Oh look more amsterdam actually visiting the city pictures shit is just scattered and sprinkled everywhere, sighrry.

Alright alright nice.

No wait, done.

Chocolate to what?

Don’t tell me what to do.

These I smoked when I was in England.

Worst cookie ever. It’s like black forest cake, you can’t just put two things together and call it a day. It’s so bland, artificial.


WTF IS THIS NOW!!!?? Moreos! BARF.

Much better. It’s like people who like licorice. You guys are fucked.

Tulip nation. During the war, people ate tulip bulbs when they were starving and had no money for food. Count your blessings.

I <3 NY plus I <3 Aruba etc was copied from the I am Amsterdam slogan. #Fact.

This kid wanted us to do an airport/travel satisfaction of some sort survey I said sure but you gotta haul ass with us around the corner to another smoking room while we hook you up with answers.

He was like Charlie Bucket in the modern future.

See the woman pouring milk, woah relax.

This room was less disgusting on account of the window light but it was still hot and smokey stuffy.

Spicy Maxima and the king. Is she Queen now then? Cos his mother was Queen and it’s not like she passed Maxima her crown, so I dunno. I got this tin of cookies for my Nana.

How could someone leave these behind?


Hello anybody in there.

It’s our plane. An Air France KLM one, I see (make up your mind?).

Our tv’s did not work for the entire flight of 7 hours – boarding early time sitting in there from start to fin and those are pretty expensive plane tickets so it was pretty shitty, just saying.

Leg room consolation prize. The guy beside us cashed out immediately for the entire flight. We sat on that chair across from our seats here on that fold-out flight attendant seat whom of which was an adorable little sprite. One flight attendant was super rude to my bf every time he got up to walk around and stretch his legs, it was strange like an I hate you cos you’re straight kind of bossy way. Bf was like I have to avoid him because I will lose my temper next time. It was so passive aggressive and we did not appreciate it at all and he wouldn’t have been roving around had our bloody tv screens worked KLM. All I wanted to do was zone out and snooze to Cinderella and other guilt plej movies/shows.

We kept busy, drinking and sharing his laptop and watching life of pi til the battery died/meal time. We interacted which turned to bickering off and on, thanks KLM. We totally needed naps. Had a late night and spent the day in a frenzy getting all last minute shit done and shutting down the house, packing, train travel it was a definite mish.

We had great weather our first morning, all day in Canada. It was a happy fun time. Okay I got things to do now thanks for that!

Me this morning hello goodbye.