Category Archives: Uncategorized

The Stella Raymi Show

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Stella got her groove back! Humans mouths are vaginas and dog’s mouths are penises. TRUE.

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hi beautiful.

i just wanted to reach out again, to tell you your blog is getting me through another difficult turn in life. its the little things that count right now, and your blog is providing a good distraction for me at night when i cant sleep and keeping me entertained and putting a grin on my face. I don’t know if you will remember, I wrote you a few yrs ago telling you the same thing, because i was in an accident and was in a wheelchair for some time. Now, I am going through a very similar situation, only my husband is the one who is hurt. He fell off of a roof on thursday and so we are going through the process again. no one ever said life is fair, but it is hard at the simplest of times. I dont want to be a downer, in this msg. just want to tell you how your blog helps in ways you dont even know. xo xo xo

aw of course i remember you and your story lisa. you guys are clumsy! j/k. im sorry your beautiful husband is hurt, you be strong, i know you are, thanks for reaching out i love to hear from you. any time doll im here. whats the healing period goin to be in length? you poor poor things. thinking of you and if i can help in any way let me know! xoxo your friend lauren

no kidding, we are clumsy. neither of us have ever broken a bone, actually, and when we have we end up disabled. what the fuck, right. i appreciate you even remembering me. It is going to be a long recovery. we are going back to the hospital tomorrow morning, its in toronto where he was admitted (we are in barrie) So we will find out more tomorrow.. but he has shattered both of his feet, and fractured his wrist, so he only has use of his left hand for awhile (and he is a righty) He’ll be immobile for atleast 6 months up to a year they said.. I just feel like we are in a nightmare right now, yet grasping at the positives.. our 20’s have really sucked. our 30’s will be the biggest party ever. we are getting the fuck out of here when this is over and moving to the ocean in nova scotia. i really appreciate you reaching out. if i can just be in touch once in awhile to vent, or talk, that would mean a lot to me.. i have no doubt we will weather another storm. and this time around we have surrounded ourselves with more positive people than we had a few years ago. also, i am sorry i am all over the map in this msg, my head is in a million places. i really just wanted to thank you for you & your blog. honestly, really you dont know how it helps. and thank you. xo

also, i want to say because i never commented really, i am so sorry to hear about your identiy theft problem you have on your hands. i cant even imagine how that must feel. It makes me feel sick so i can’t imagine how you feel about it. that is really disturbing. catfish is actually one of my favorite documentries, becuase it is just so twisted. i hope you get things settled and worked out. xo

oh i treasure our little e-friendship very much i just got misty eyed, lisa you have been a great friend and help in bringing me up in dark times or in times of celebration you write and say, yes kid, that was well done and bravo and it makes me feel very good.

yesterday at dinner i said to teacher, everything is fine, i am exhausted and relieved coming out of last week but it’s hard sitting here with a feeling of dread knowing that psychotic people are trolling me and trashing me this very second, every positive thing I do and accomplish is blanketed with nasty negative mean abusive things, it takes the little energy and confidence i had to trick myself into facing my fears and doing things and fucks with you. my “chi” is fucked with daily and i know it will be fucked before its fucked with so I carry that with me every day, of my life. Luckily I am a fluke of nature human being who can take it and my crazy/creativity/antics and positive clique of surrounding people help cushion and protect me from such horrible people.

Your messages are grounding is what I mean and if you want me to meet up with you while you are in the big smoke I would be more than happy to oblige if I can make the time.

xo Raymbo Bright

:)

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Damn She is hot. Blog Slave said, yeah, she IS Jessica Rabbit. Totally! How is this not Burlesque? A troll has surfaced, About time! Teacher called it the SUCCESS/TROLL SCALE like CRAZY/HOT RATIO. It’s annoying. Part of me wants to say think of me as a business not a human being and you will “get it” either way, I don’t know how people bother to focus their energies on others who are doing well for themselves or just legitimately doing their own thing. There are SO many young successful women in this city in my field, all over, doing shit, if I focused my energies being jealous of them all the time I would never get anything done also I know I am unique and not in competition with any of them, I am the ************* I don’t notice til days later when someone chimes up about it, starts talking shit for no reason. I do what I love and I love what I do! Now lets hold hands and dance in a circle now.

Your debt’s paid off but it don’t feel gone

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On Sunday night we went to Metro. If you are one who can make a shopping excursion into a really fun time, you are a genius. This balloon startled me, it was sideways, we were laughing at 5 magazines at once and then the balloon slowly turned, look, I was wearing shades you can imagine our state, so in the middle of laughing I went AGHH! We were a hot mess. I am saying “we” to take the heat off me. I was in a good mood coasting off a full week of ridiculous I look like a gizzard under the eyes, you will see me again next week. Ha.

We fought quite a bit but only because we were also hungover and irritate one another for entertainment, it’s exhausting! I think you can classify me as “high maintenance” I push us to our limit.

But also, I am younger and this is work. I am trying to build a legend here. I said, “You can’t be me.” Just cos I go out and party you don’t have to retaliate while I am re-cooperating and stress me out, God. Sometimes I have to go out without you. Also we live together and time apart is healthy plus we spent the entire week together, BAT SHOOT!

I noticed that Pauly Shore has been a dead issue, total pink elephant. I think we are waiting each other out. Celebrities don’t count. Stephen talked me out of stuffing my bra of my mittens thanks god because they were overheating me and that makes me anxious. One reason why I am part nudist (full) is I am heat sensitive and can just go for days sitting there nakes. I am free and need to be free I am one stuffed animal away from the crazy woman house on my dad’s street.

We hit it hard last week, I am thankful October is over. Shocktober as it is being billed, I forget where. Here we are at the Gladstone after having only 2 hours sleep? I am not one to do all nighters, they are like once a decade. My brother’s boys from the old hood crashed on the floor, one on couch, both snoring like mental and I knew would want to jet early so I got up and then Teacher suggested eating cos I hadn’t in days practically, stress, too many events, CN Tower terrified etc.. So we were disasters at brunch and now I remember how much I love brunch and want to be a brunch person because they are loads healthier and you have to earn brunch because you wake up early for it, and in my field I can’t have sleep-deprivation face so therefore I do not do brunch, I’m nocturnal. Lifestyle change time, I’m bored!

Adorable red tree!

Our walk was hilarious because everything was funny but we were so weak and cold so cold, saw a walk of shame guy clutching a 12 pack chainsmoking at the corner of gladstone and queen and his sketchy mirrored that of my own and I felt calmed and then we scored the best seat in the corner. Our server was so nice too and I was relieved i didn’t wear the same shirt she was wearing (almost did).

I had to buy hair elastics.

I looked like garbage in all of these so we fought about it.

Houndstooth shirt, I have an old man hat in the exact same pattern I’ll wear to the prohibition party tomorrow. with suspenders attached to my underwear? No pants. Hmm. Or gold dress.

This can opener is named after me. His burn. Beside it, nut cracker. That’s low-brow.

Ooh I’ll go bleach my teeth. Too much coffee.

Still recovering from last week. Splicing my long-windedness in to parts.

THE ISSUES vol. III

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I look like Garth Algar. OOh this was fun to make and watch. Some actual good wisdoms and insights too, there’ll be a part four it seems cos he cut me off just as I was ramping up to a raymi HTBFOTI trade secret. I sound really angry about cupcakes too. That song is my favourite Unagi track, by my friend Brolin who is JAPANESE AND HAWAIIAN! One of my ex bf’s crew, and we all have an imaginary friend club what thinks it’s the beastie boys, yes we white boy rappers but anyway, that song is called shock and awe and it’s a good tune to throw into a set if you’re a dj. Hey! there’s an idea for easy money, DJING! Maybe Hip Urban girl will teach me. I try to dance with sean to save his bit but then I smash into the dry erase board. NEAT!

Got lots of issues with sean ward watch along with me now.

Be right back with more stupidity genius.

Raymi Gaga Karl Lagerfeld

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I mixed my tracey the minx halloween costume shirt with my army nod/leopard print cardi plus Gaga shades. Meow.

My skinny pants are too big for me. Oh Deiter isn’t that just aw-ful.

Also scraping barrel bottom for clothes and am on fat phase raymi sized underwears so I legit look like a hobo junky. Heh. Makes for more interesting outfits. These man dork hipster briefs make me look like the movie Cocoon, an old geezer with saggy underwear materializing into an alien that turns into a bright glowing creature and goes to geezer heaven.

Yay doggy is back! Movie time!

The fat lady is singing for you it’s over

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She looks like Denise Richards.

Ps. yes I have makeup under my already always look tired eyes, black smears from someone.

But also BRB It’s Tuesdays Smoothdays aka boozeday cruiseday. No I am not drinking again, not til wing night later on but what I mean to say is consider this a “gone fishin'” kinda week. LOWER EXPECTATIONS.

I also have to prepare my talk at SSS too for next week though I’ll pretty much just wing that now that I am practising what I preach a whole lot more, and then I’ll segue in to, “which brings me to my talk’s focus entitled: I TOLD YOU SO.” A millennial look at the internet and forward thinking, with equal parts spite and visionary aptitude. Guys I am loaded still I think so, and, this is a blog guy, it’s like quantifying my big mouth times 11 years and always thinking I am right, funnier, machismo, blabbity blah the tides are shifting and not to jinx it but, It feels really good to see the fruits of your labours and I kind of have the raymi-impersonators to thank for giving me that extra edge push into the limey light (Oh and all the super hard work I do. That too). Speaking of I have to answer those German magazine interview questions.

When do you think I’ll have time to finish my book, never? It’s a gateway book and HAS to be done so that I can write my other ones. It’s book writing month this November and a big opportunity to write and get that sorted then lie on a yacht in the french riviera. Keep your eye on the prize. Arra my friend in UK is doing it and pestering me daily reminding me and all my responses are OK KAY YEAH I KNOW All separate one word emails. I speak like a caveman when I write and when I talk, jesus, get your decoder rings out and good luck. Downloading the rest of shitty party pics from last night, I want a new camera.

It was hard to get in but I got us in. People “in the know” know this, do you guys have trade secret line by-passing tips too?

Pamela power! There were three of us obvs insta-friends.

Jen Mcneely retweeted this and said nice wax job and only you Raymi! I dry shave and girl-scape with makeup haha. the one time I had a wax I had in-growns for months it ruined my sex life plus the boutique people were See-you-next-tuesdays.

Blog slave said he was probably on a pill based on my descriptions, everyone from LA is always on stuff. Oh yeah? We kept getting photobombed or people rushing through which is why this beautiful shot came out like so.

DETERMINATION.

Yer not supposed to kiss and tell with celebrities. Except in my case I do both, but keep some for myself. Wait til the big one like George Clooney then sell it, or move in.

One of his entourage, with every photo taken they’d go Pauly, do you want another one taken? YEs. Bum squeeze. Ok another. I did this for YOU guys. YOU’RE WELCOME! Sacrifices. MMmm I want a snackrifice.

She was the morning after but ditched her man’s shirt and tie. I say give’r. Be young and free and if ya got it flaunt it it’s not about being slutty on halloween it’s the freedom of expression and creating a sexy bottle service moment. This isn’t a library for christ sakes.

Carol Zara is a well known (G4TV!) gamer babe and she likes thigh highs and is a pro. I was nervous to meet her I was really nervous period about all this but I love challenges and would not take a party no for an answer, Stephen was dressed like a drag blade runner and I was wearing my bathing suit I refused to be party debbies at the Thomspon bar, I signed on for a shit show and I got it, wait, I was talking about Carol here. Apparently Stephen is making us dinner and who is Stephen you might ask? Just a mid-forties ADD version of me who I am allowing to bounce ideas off/around/collaborate with. He last went to Vegas with nothing but the shirt on his back, he is that kind of guy. Told you the tides were changing. I might of said shifting though because I get everything mixed up. Don’t I.

I’d never been in the basement of the Thomspon before, I like this Captain Jack Sparrow dude with the castle looking wall and the huge designer lamp. One of the 400 vouching for myself and media life to the door guy was I am here to cover the party (lie, but turns out to be truth once I blog it and I blog my life so, more so true) and I cannot do that if I don’t get in, here’s my friend’s G&M card and mine, I am what I say I am and then we had a staring contest. I do not back down. He is like FIIINE where is your friend? We were on guest list but they were at capacity was the thing and we were late from talking too much to each other during pre-game drinking and time slipped away.

One good way to combat hangover is waking up and finding your picture in the Globe & Mail. Well fancy that. They edited my outfit into a normie’s for their ultra-conservative posh readership hehh. That party was a last minute idea of mine, I got the mass pr email blast like day of or before and on a whim hit reply and said can I have media invite even though it was an expensive ticket. In PR world you would be a ding-a-ling to turn down this it girl, then I brought the girls and history was made.

He is better looking than me :(.

Very nice bartenders down there.

This chap was quite taken by me but Pauly Shore was right beside me so, I had shit to do lol.

A genius flipped my phone into zoom and it couldn’t be undone, meh. This was how foggy it felt anyway.

Yum.

Sunday Cuisine. Ok I go now.

I want a spa-nsorship

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Happy Halloween! Did I scare you??

I sloshed fake leftover blood on this bridge saturday night and it’s still there and looks crazy scary. King/Atlantic bridge near liberty village. I’ll go take pics in the day, or you can.

Heheheh. I found this in one of four bags of costumes from Haunted Harem and then took it VERY seriously VERY fast.

No drowning on my watch.

I want to go for a double dip but I already have my war paint on so I won’t look Jersey Shore enough at all, and a super single tan isn’t enough for meh but going anyway I think a glow will make me feel relaxed. Paddy gave me this suit thanks love!

Here’s my CJ Parker impression. I practised running on the spot like they did on Big Brother UK. I make a nod to PETA, a higher nice girl voice and that cheesy ecstasy raver hat, and bono shades.

Blog Slave (OG)(original gangster, I need a glossary for the nerds, do I?) and I watched my CN Tower video and he was like O_O. When we were doing this shoot I said now hang out the window and look at the CN Tower, now, look at me, I walked on the top of that shit! I’m fuck’n gangsta.

The house is trashed with girl stuff everywhere. I have to take so many weird pieces of lingerie to the dry cleaners or wash them specially by hand I bet. #stripperproblems. These are Porsche shades. Multi-colour lenses for driving, I wore them to metro last night. We had fun.

Summer time nails.

Doing push-ups sit-ups like Jay Mccray from #BBUK.

I guess I have the nards to wear this tonight. Girls are wearing superhero sexy costumes.

And there’s a bruise on my ass. See that feather, keep or exchange? I worry I will hurt myself but can be used in a dance.

Staying in for a night does me wonders.

Ok dinner and a tan how fab! My bruise is almost gone. I walked in to a table at the Beaver on the night of the delicious food show and fashion week and why are your tables black? So dangerous that is how I almost broke my toe in Montreal at the W. Being paid to party has its dangers.

Except for here I look dead-eyed THAT’S BECAUSE I AM! Haha.

Going to wear my pink scuba watch to keep the summer vibe strong. I wanted to be in New Orleans for today I was secretly going to go but it’s too late.

And my date for tonight is going as Courtney Love! A drag Courtney Love. I went as her last year! Perfect! I’m also going with an uber sexy famous videogamer chick. Ballin’!

The party isn’t upstairs outside at the Thompson apparently so I won’t freeze, I might will wear my teddy costume over this.

I would blog my boob job for fake bewbs. Think about it!

Aerobics moments. I let blog slave off the cleaning hook today cos he was a disaster hangover too, fine.

Ok plans have changed we are making neat spaccati fusili pasta it looks so old school rustic we bought it yesterday and sriracha parmesan tomato sauce mmm I like being a food snob. I’m only having a teeny bit though.

The people vs. Jessica Rabbit

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Teddy bear nappy time.

I wanted her to win!

Paddy’s friend went as an internet troll, that ugly dumb mask.

Look at me climb the thing at 1:30 I remember thinking at the time it was dangerous, when I fully extended my legs and stood up IN heels clinging to the tiny bar but it was Iggy Pop of me and I don’t half-ass a thing. This is how we opened, walking through the crowd and playing with them, it was fun to be in a mask and naked, a major kind of bizarre confidence and forcefield surrounding me, horny awe from the patrons Hehehh.

Red Velvet’s Jessica Rabbit number. F-O-X. I am SO jealous of Pastel Supernova in this video getting to motorboat her.

Oh Red Velvet, you’re a prize right down to your foot tattoo.

Jazmin says we are super on point here but also doing it on a flat surface is a luxury, far easier than a wrestling ring. Which, we also nailed. Except my underwear shows at the end of this because I am a loser, of course. I am Liz Lemon. I couldn’t feel my dress from the gloves and I needed double sided tape I suppose. You can hear people criticizing, comparing and judging us AHahaha.

Oh my eyes so lovely rolled back in my skull like that.

Look at how much she looks like her!

My body is covered by the cat ears. Nice!

Mom don’t you dance like that? That’s the Kerouac groove.

I wanted her to win!

James Photobombed all my shots with the girls. That’s our Pastel Supernova on the left there. I missed her performance boo :(.

I love this generation, look at the p0rnographers. I’m getting stink-eye in like every photo too.

Paddy did Glory Box and smashed out of this robot box YEA!

It was a tribute to my shaking Beth’s hand at Portishead a few weeks back. That’s the Black Swan beauty helping her.

So funny and then hot. I’ll post the Set List and then you can see how insane we truly are.

I fall down the stairs at the end of this, Haters, Elyse, you will love it. Teacher goes, welp, I know what video I’m showing the boys today. HAHAHHA.

Coincidentally we both had asian themed dances, I did Kill Bill’s Ninja. Will post another time this is overkill enough.

Also got Jazmin’s rumba ooh I’ll listen to that album today, soca zoomba music dance cleaning party with blog slave.

I’m a sexy nice dictator.

Pastel in my pink nightie thing looks way better on her. I think I look crazy in it. Maybe with a Valley of the Dolls wig.

Out of all my costumes you’ve seen, which one should I sport out tonight?

Pastel gave me last minute tassel swinging advice. Bounce and shake, bounce and shake. I want to get a small C cup I think it would be good for business, I could give a fuck about confidence (or your opinions on the matter) I got enough of that already. I have two more years til 30 I may as well stretch them out. Seven grand is a lot of money though, I need a sponsorship. Will blog for boobs.

What a legend!

There’s a mega poster behind bar of this. I can’t wait to see an xmas burlesque poster.

More stink-eye and I look like the Queen and that’s not my arm.

Can’t tell if that’s a hipster costume or a hipster or a costume.

I look like I am flipping someone off.

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K blog slave is here updating periodically.

Look I was voted best dressed at the brickworks picnic I went to by Toronto Standard.

OK brb i’m going to post my pamela anderson baywatch bathing suit photos now.

See you in Hell

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Mom look it’s a little Lois beside us over there.

Doug rules.

That guy held out a PBR to me haha next time make it something that’s not piss water thanks. But I love that move, it’s classic strip club film starlette cliche and like the dude’s minds being blown and pyrotechnics and axl rose is going yaaaaaaaaah! Ha.

This one ends in blood. Glad I followed through with it. Careful this video gets very very racy. I commit. Go big or go home.

That’s Freddy Mercury. The Nurse put her bandaged face in my bum. I hugged everyone with my bloody body and definitely messed up a ton of outfits. What can I say I put on a great party. This was so so fun and such a success, again again soon! Def a christmas party. That’ll be hot.

People think they are exploiting me but really, I am exploiting them.

She was a babe. It is such an ego trip having babes gush all over you all night long, I am humbled by it.

During the opening some shot glasses were on the speakers so I dramatically kick/brushed them aside against the wall and all the dudes were like O_O. Hahahah so many funny things happened/said/overheard what a dizzy circus. Love it.

So proud of these ladies we did it! Good times and we also do private functions/events: raymiATraymitheminx.com. That’s a drink ticket in my bra.

And the best three piece set, seen here. I’ll be adding more and more to this post over the next hour.

I was a hot mess all day long yesterday. This has been a suicide mission week my brains are obliterated.

I went like this to get all my last minute needs: nipple pasties (with tassels), new fishnet thigh highs, that mesh body suit, the french red three piece. I almost bought a massive feather headpiece but it was too ugly. The customer service where I went was HORRIBLE and am now boycotting them, one girl was nice but the other my lord so no mention of their name. Zero taste-making for you. (no soup for you voice).

And they’re like we don’t do dancer discounts and I was like, honey childs I aint’s no strippuh! I like what I bought though and the three piece was only $56.

Last Halloween one of my costumes was Tracey, I went as a cougar.

I get to use my ticket again to do the other stuff up there and Jenn gave me hers so we’re going!

This is freaking me out again and again it feels like a dream. I don’t even get a moment to reflect on the insane things I do cos I’m already off to the next thing. Sean said the Beatles didn’t get to enjoy what they did for years. Good point, keep the momentum going. Thank god Renita postponed my tattoo to next weekend. Ok nappy time. Mmm I want McDonalds. We had brunch at the Gladstone and were disasters. It was really fun I like brunch! Being amazed by your own life is a nice thing and normal things blowing your mind. Have a wonderful Sunday.

I would kill for this right now it was a mini big mac same dressing but high end I had it all over my face like an animal from doing this.

See the burn mark on my arm that is where I am getting my tattoo. Hahah read what ti says on the screen.

OH SHIT!

I know I posted this already but I love it. Don’t I look like Fear Factor? Window washer?

Gonna upload a video clip. I better call my dad it’s Sunday phonecall time!

I did this yesterday morning, no, Friday morning. Everything feels like it happened yesterday and I haven’t blinked in a week.

I’m volunteering for this camp.

I went with hangover party face and was drunk still I think, definitely sleep-deprived, no food or coffee from nerves I didn’t want to crap myself. But then while up there I was like, mm I am so hungry fantasizing about deep fried junk from Jack Astors and that’s what I did with my new friend Sam. She’s had 13 face surgeries and is a survivor, she conquered her fear up there. I wish I was watching it at my dad’s right now but we are totally bagged I am going to couch surf in three seconds it’s going to be the p0rn0graphy of laziness. I still have blood on my hands and toes this morning Dave (crashed on our floor and James on the couch)(snoring!) goes WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FEET!!? Totally forgot about my blood. Go look on the wall in the dead center of the King St Atlantic bridge I sloshed blood all over the wall like a Jack the Ripper slaying. The motor oil bottle fell out of a bag, we ditched the blody sheet in a construction site too someone is going to be freaked out tomorrow! Forensics! We had to walk from Bovine cos not enough cabs out there it was the NYE of Halloween last night. It was cold but we toughed it, starving too, but for some reason didn’t get any snacks from the gas station?? Bumped in to Snake and had a funny wasted conversation in his mouse ears and nose and he told me to be friends with our old friends and I was like they hate me and he’s like no, do it! Then I told the boys who that was when he walked away and they were like WHAAAAT!!? SNAKE! but he was too far away. Haha.

I also have all of these to put up.