Haus of Mess VARIETY BLOG SHOW

Welcome to our new show of stuff we watch while watching champagne I mean drinking champgane CHAMPAGNE LOL on big screen tv!

Courtney is on the rug dying of laughter at my dismal attempt at typing. We need a third party filmer. bYe looking for more vids. Happy blogversary! YA!

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We had to go to Wine rack (the King west one, ik) and the dude there taught us a science trick about putting a wet paper towel on the bottle and putting it in the freezer, which I was going to do anyway (the freezer thing) so I called his bluff and put a double thick wet one on, and it worked!

Courtney is over. We stayed in. It’s rainy and shitty out oh and a girl in Libville cut us off pulling out of her parking garage driveway and we skidded almost right into her car Teacher was breaking like crazy and the slick roads she didn’t even look before pulling out and we were like O_O face to face I was so scared and THEN she fucking mouths SLOW DOWN BUDDY! and we had the right of way! Courtney in the back seat was like WHAAAAAAAAAT!!! She ruined our night, shook up Teacher. HER FAULT. SO angry. So as we were shopping we were all completely rattled. Courtney and I are discussing it right now and Teacher went to bed crabby. UGH!

See you in Hell

Mom look it’s a little Lois beside us over there.

Doug rules.

That guy held out a PBR to me haha next time make it something that’s not piss water thanks. But I love that move, it’s classic strip club film starlette cliche and like the dude’s minds being blown and pyrotechnics and axl rose is going yaaaaaaaaah! Ha.

This one ends in blood. Glad I followed through with it. Careful this video gets very very racy. I commit. Go big or go home.

That’s Freddy Mercury. The Nurse put her bandaged face in my bum. I hugged everyone with my bloody body and definitely messed up a ton of outfits. What can I say I put on a great party. This was so so fun and such a success, again again soon! Def a christmas party. That’ll be hot.

People think they are exploiting me but really, I am exploiting them.

She was a babe. It is such an ego trip having babes gush all over you all night long, I am humbled by it.

During the opening some shot glasses were on the speakers so I dramatically kick/brushed them aside against the wall and all the dudes were like O_O. Hahahah so many funny things happened/said/overheard what a dizzy circus. Love it.

So proud of these ladies we did it! Good times and we also do private functions/events: raymiATraymitheminx.com. That’s a drink ticket in my bra.

And the best three piece set, seen here. I’ll be adding more and more to this post over the next hour.

I was a hot mess all day long yesterday. This has been a suicide mission week my brains are obliterated.

I went like this to get all my last minute needs: nipple pasties (with tassels), new fishnet thigh highs, that mesh body suit, the french red three piece. I almost bought a massive feather headpiece but it was too ugly. The customer service where I went was HORRIBLE and am now boycotting them, one girl was nice but the other my lord so no mention of their name. Zero taste-making for you. (no soup for you voice).

And they’re like we don’t do dancer discounts and I was like, honey childs I aint’s no strippuh! I like what I bought though and the three piece was only $56.

Last Halloween one of my costumes was Tracey, I went as a cougar.

I get to use my ticket again to do the other stuff up there and Jenn gave me hers so we’re going!

This is freaking me out again and again it feels like a dream. I don’t even get a moment to reflect on the insane things I do cos I’m already off to the next thing. Sean said the Beatles didn’t get to enjoy what they did for years. Good point, keep the momentum going. Thank god Renita postponed my tattoo to next weekend. Ok nappy time. Mmm I want McDonalds. We had brunch at the Gladstone and were disasters. It was really fun I like brunch! Being amazed by your own life is a nice thing and normal things blowing your mind. Have a wonderful Sunday.

I would kill for this right now it was a mini big mac same dressing but high end I had it all over my face like an animal from doing this.

See the burn mark on my arm that is where I am getting my tattoo. Hahah read what ti says on the screen.

OH SHIT!

I know I posted this already but I love it. Don’t I look like Fear Factor? Window washer?

Gonna upload a video clip. I better call my dad it’s Sunday phonecall time!

I did this yesterday morning, no, Friday morning. Everything feels like it happened yesterday and I haven’t blinked in a week.

I’m volunteering for this camp.

I went with hangover party face and was drunk still I think, definitely sleep-deprived, no food or coffee from nerves I didn’t want to crap myself. But then while up there I was like, mm I am so hungry fantasizing about deep fried junk from Jack Astors and that’s what I did with my new friend Sam. She’s had 13 face surgeries and is a survivor, she conquered her fear up there. I wish I was watching it at my dad’s right now but we are totally bagged I am going to couch surf in three seconds it’s going to be the p0rn0graphy of laziness. I still have blood on my hands and toes this morning Dave (crashed on our floor and James on the couch)(snoring!) goes WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FEET!!? Totally forgot about my blood. Go look on the wall in the dead center of the King St Atlantic bridge I sloshed blood all over the wall like a Jack the Ripper slaying. The motor oil bottle fell out of a bag, we ditched the blody sheet in a construction site too someone is going to be freaked out tomorrow! Forensics! We had to walk from Bovine cos not enough cabs out there it was the NYE of Halloween last night. It was cold but we toughed it, starving too, but for some reason didn’t get any snacks from the gas station?? Bumped in to Snake and had a funny wasted conversation in his mouse ears and nose and he told me to be friends with our old friends and I was like they hate me and he’s like no, do it! Then I told the boys who that was when he walked away and they were like WHAAAAT!!? SNAKE! but he was too far away. Haha.

I also have all of these to put up.