it’s my New York

Not to sound like a super old white man but boy do I miss the old days sometimes. Its 1:30pm. By now, several years ago I would have had two awesome blog posts up and 4,000 blog views to show for it. By midnight I’d be at 9k. Had I known the internet and my life would turn my brain to swiss cheese like so I might have relaxed a bit on the social media front. I am gently to greatly trying to undo those bad habits. We will begin at technological then gradually coast into chemical. Winkity wink. My phone in short, is driving me crazy. Mass-communications. I’m in a loop.

I am pretty sure my Detroit friends will love and hate my blog title. A lot of people ask me “Why Detroit?” I spend a week each month there. I went for my sixth time and got back yesterday. What’s up with Detroit? -aside, and why do I go there. I mean I see myself as this vagabond type who “sometimes does things”. This day in age, I am completely wrong as stated before about how no one stops and reflects anymore, cos people have always stopped and reflected on me and when it happens in droves it can overwhelm me. When I see those who drive me insane on purpose doing it together from different avenues I fucking explode. Which is happening now to be frank.

It comes with online popularity exposure obsession. You get disgusted with yourself too. I got to a point last night in bed where I was like okay I am going to DO ALL THIS GOOOOOD. Creatives go to the brink and back again. I made this ranty Facebook post yesterday, I did it to myself, although and to be honest I was expecting to be ignored. As usual! I just wanted to say it then run away from it but then “it got all these likes” which means absoloutely nothing other than a personal triumph that people maybe sometimes need. Then the playa haters came out and chimed in. I just want to be an artist and yeah, only get nice feedback. I want to say this is an orange and have people agree that it’s an orange. Just let me share, is that cool? So the chopping block came out and unfriending has begun. Instead of feeling like shit about it I am feeling great. I’m going to go back to sharing my amazing life and trip to Detroit now though.

Before I forget, here is a 16 year rtm anniversary montage RSSR put together for me thx buddy and thx to all fer sticking by me all these years here’s to sixteen more and to flying cars.

Maybe I should have put pants on for this photo and saved myself the headache. I liked how it was the only photo I took where I liked my face, the lighting of it and my hair was pretty blond. I was mid-changing. This is how my life happens and how I document it, I don’t think about it or plan a way to buck the system.

Lizzy planned a surprise bday for her dad so we went to Windsor for the grand affair. We got balloons done up and some party crap for the table and dad to wear. Lizzy ordered and had made an epic cake too. These are Lady Gaga glasses we couldn’t figure out why they were so bloody cool. Then I noticed the decal on the side. Oh. Right. Reminded me of the pink paint I wore for Theatre Bizarre’s night 2.

Ghetto Recorders Studios used to be housed behind me here. Sacred ground. Sometimes you just got to throw down an MJ pose in some steam to give thanks. Thanksgiving week afterall.

Had a super lovely brunch at Townhouse. Detroit is such a holiday experience for me because Lizzy always orders for us. I don’t have to make decisions. I mean sometimes I do yes. I appreciate dining with foodies who make all the right calls.

This was cheese night. Oh we went there. Talkin’ Limburger, a citrus ginger asiago (meh), I forget the others you can look on my FB if you super want to know. I wore my prom dress for the occasion. It looks slinkier on me now than it did when I was 18 it’s basically like wearing a drape that’s a shift you could be pregnant and look amaze in it. We are drinking Malbec if you must know.

Then I destroyed the universe when I walked by this tiny car.

I’m going to amp up my cardio and aerobics. Use the pool. I want to get toned. Goals goals goals.

Raymes Bond.

Detroit Tigers what’s up.

Pizza party night.

Yep I’m that guy.

No trip to the D is complete w/o visiting Doc. Brought him his fav drink too. Squirt and Tequila. Yes it’s true I would not let the word squirt go for a good 5 minutes or so. Squirt is grapefruit-based. Which is kinda pee tastey not that I drink pee but it’s an acquired sharp taste sometimes like blechhhhhhhhhhh enough. Um. Yeah.

Sometimes it feels fruitless to humble brag about shit my audience wont care about or know about. Anyway. I was asked to flash the crowd (camera flash not tits) for the videographer filming Marc Houle’s set. He’s a BIG DEAL in Europe. Straight outta Windsor. This was at TV lounge we went right from the train over the border to Detroit. I changed on the train. All so exciting. Every time I photographed the crowd they all raised their arms for me now I know why dj’s feel like messiahs. Minxed about vip asf up there it was our one big night out.

Detroit has so much amazing WTF. One could classify it as a cold New Orleans. Oooooooooooooooh-wheeeeee they gon’ love this!

A Pure Detroit store is housed in the Guardian Building. Which is an Aztec, art-deco inspired grandiosity of a structure. This is where my Detroit City shirt came from and you get a free coffee when you buy it. The city of Detroit gives love to all fellow vendors and really pumps the economy there this is why the art scene is booming, etc.

Life is all about balance.

TV lounge photoshoot. My first nights in Detroit are always a bit batty, wild, fun, where the heck am I? I meet a lot of Canadians in Detroit.

Gaga glasses.

White Stripes did their first two albums behind me here. Jack White chatted up Lizzy last week at Gold Cash Gold. Nice nice.

LG did an awesome blend that she smeared all over this chicken while in her lingerie. I smashed the sesame seeds for her with that mortar and pestle. I was not in lingerie though I was probably dressed like hot garbage which is lingerie to some.

Spotted in Windsor. Obviously French.

Lots of dope shit in #Detroit like the Heidelberg Project where this artist took an entire neighbourhood and constructed the most insane installations plot by plot and people come from worldwide to see it. This is just one of many constructions I captured for ya.

Yesterday afternoon. Turrah!

The Guardian Building is so opulant. I don’t know how I feel about Christmas this year. It’s going to be a crazy asf month.

I thought these were stolen when we stayed at The Sheraton. They weren’t. My superhero boots. I put them on and pranced around like a clompy giraffe with no actual prancing, are these too much? Yes. Very much so and very much so aren’t coming off.

Sometimes you just got to toast yo damn self.

Eat chicken in bed.

The two L’s.

Brunch was delightful.



Can you tell we have a fun time? Why Detroit? This is why. Because ding dong.

This store doesn’t have the shot glass I’ve been eyeing for Johnny. Ughhhh.

Another Heidelberg Project house. TTYL everyone it’s quittin’ time tootle-ooh to be continued.

Septembre V Spot


V-Spot 3: Psycho voicemail from a guy (warning screamy swear words).

So this chick pulls the brakes on meeting a bro from the internet who wanted her to commit to 30 days of exclusive dating (unheard of) and rightly so cos he completely loses it on her over voicemail (who voicemails anymore anyway, red flag) plus it turns out he had a previous arrest and harassment charge, well la-dee-dah. Note to selves: when we have a weird feeling there’s always a good reason for it so listen to our guts, amen GODDAMMIT AMANADA!

For more of my Viral video selects of the past week go HEEEEEEEEEEEERE. I also really adored V-Spot 9: Wedding trend forecast: Slow-mo Photobooth compilation vids

Quang + Ellie: Slow Motion Booth from Super Frog Saves Tokyo on Vimeo.

Hell yeah sign us up! Love watching the personalities of various wedding guests shine through, who looks drunk and who can bring the funk from the wallflowers to the peacocks a keepsake like this reveals it all and it’s awesome when the relatives get in on it too. Very enjoyable to watch and I dunno who the f—k these people even are nor care!

More V-Spot vuh vuh vuh v spot. Already cooking up the next one the vids just keep on coming you should see my folder collections oy vey spot. Happy Monday Love Raymbo Bunnylicious.

Let’s get Raymical.

TGIFU time! Love it. See that can? My bf kicked it away when we were getting in the car to leave and it rolled down the street for like an hour, funny little details like that make the world go round. Cans too. He said it’s still rolling and I’m like what, really? Then we froze in silence and I could hear it from inside the car tootling away bahahha.

So after we finished up hanging around some vintage cars and canal boats we got back on the road making our way to Amsterdam. I felt like total carbage. We went to Germany the day before then stayed up late playing video games drank-a-lanking, got up early-ish and were out the door by noon before I could even finish my morning ritual of water coffee smoothie pooping and suffice it to say now bf knows not to force me out the door before I am ready because it ruins his day too gaddamnit. Anyway those be tulips, maybe next time there’ll be some tiptoeing through them.

Seriously can someone please explain the damage what was (RIP dude not speakin’ ill of the dead here) Tiny Tim thank you. He’s kind of a genius right, like Crispin Glover with a Tim Burton filter. Back to MY LIFE now though.

This is Urk. It was a holiday, Pinksteren, something religious and as luck would have it the inhabitants of this town are super ultra all about it and donned their traditional Dutch attire. They look like Amish Mafia to me. The guys have these clinky golden earrings it’s pretty badass and I couldn’t help but feel suspicious of all of them.

They don’t walk around like this all the time that’s why my bf said we were lucky.

Lotsa this. At least it didn’t rain.

Lotsa that.

Ooh sweet.

Look at the jealous stares at the pretty one. International jeals.

She’s super owning it though. Their bonnets have gold and/or silver balls that jam into their cheeks and look like cheek piercings.

Very narrow topsy turvy streets. Everything was closed because of the holiday maybe things were open til noon but we didn’t get there til 2 or 3? One place was open by the water and that’s where everyone was strolling by to people watch and take photos of the boats on the water. We were fungry it was a funger emergency thank god for that place. A German fisherman directed us toward it and when we drove off I asked if he was the R word cos he spoke so slowly and then my bf imitated how he methodically directed us for a half hour, it was cutelarious. I wish I could type how people speak here, I don’t even know how to describe it. I’ll make a video one day.

I went in here to wee and check it out maybe infer as to taking the table out front plus getting their attention (hate waiting for service) but then I’m like oh yeah there is no way they’re going to understand me. I just pretend I am invisible everywhere and force my way into bathrooms.

It was coldish. It’s always coldish. I’m always coldish. Yesterday it was 7. Last year on 23 May it was 30. THIRTY. By the time it gets hot I won’t be here. Great.

It’s all about the scenerey and fish though. Name that bit of Canadiana 90’s culture album. Try not to google it you tool.

Although they’re wearing clogs the dudes look pretty badass. If all my Dutch bros were wearing their funky outfits and I wasn’t I would run the hell home and put mine on too. Once a year guy, do it.

Those guys had the gold earrings on too. They look like gypsy earrings. Like a secret club. Their dialect is a bit different than regular Dutch not that I can discern the difference but bf can. He would laugh at certain things he overheard but then also not comprehend some things. Like Amish slang maybe?

Buh buh buh boats.

Ruh Ruh Ruh Raymi.

Perspective makes these look the same size but they’s ain’ts.

So I guess if we have a kid I’ll be allowed to dress it up like a Dutch doll. Yay.

Derno why the folks weren’t dressed up too though I think I’d feel like a self conscious moron after checking out the mom’s heels. Nice.

Super cute.

Super cute. No idea how he can just wear a t-shirt. Such a dude.

This is gonna be good.

Oh aww. It’s okay the dog dissed me too.

Haahaha. Hi friend. This is my desktop background. Can’t wait for Cray Tray’s commentary.

New flickr is making things take ten times longer btw thanks yahoo ps. thanks for tumblr take over too ya jerks.

Good thing I wore my gypsy hoops that day.

Just wait til that hair is longer. Whip it flip it good.

I’m gonna dye it this weekend. Darker or lighter? Or should I stay in the hair extensions colour family in case I need to rock ‘em?

Keep it nautical bro.

Bikes need hugs too.

This guy reminded me of my Uncle Rodgey. He had a slice of apple pie and a glass of red wine. He was ignored for ten minutes when he first arrived and was calm enough about it, when he showed up to the table beside me that had crap on it still from the previous patrons he stood in a am I allowed to sit here? daze and I gestured Yes you can sit there. He sat to my right instead, weirdo. Bf was like ew red wine and pie? I thought you don’t understand red wine you are not allowed to talk shit about red wine. Red wine all mine gimme gimme. Yesterday was sober day btw.

Finally. I ate half of this schnitzel. Holy schnit I felt like schnit afterward though, something was off, maybe the mayonnaise I dunno. BTW if I ever open a schnitzel place it’s gonna be called Holy Schnit!

And that cheese looks passed it’s prime too. This is what your sandwich looks like, make it yourself jerk off.

Boat porn.

I should photoshop the sky blue.

Continue reading

Crowd surf fail

Oh hi there just calling to say hi. I am not a phone person, I am a text person. I do not enjoy speaking on the phone. I see it as a waste of my time. Once in awhile I love a good chat but mostly I like to just sit in silence alone all day long hunched over my laptop. Sir Hunch-a-lot. So, if I do call you it’s because I think I am in trouble or I am fighting with you and have too many things to type about how much you have offended/annoyed me. I disperse my gossip evenly throughout my top five texters but sometimes it’s good to just have radio silence and cut your secrets in half, like maybe I shouldn’t say that one part, yeah, I’ll sleep better.

See how he just gets dumped down like that, you gotta be quicker bro. Some randoms were like are you going to crowd surf? Uh, no. One doesn’t leave the house thinking am I going to crowd surf tonight? baha I’d love to be the kind of person though where that would be a possibility. I am not going to have kids until I fucking crowdsurf goddammit. Summer bucket list. I crowd surfed at Metallica when I was 15 and it took me practically the entire show to get the balls to do it. But then I did it twice. And then I learned what happens to chicks who crowdsurf. Disgusting gropetastical city. Then I was young and naive so I didn’t enjoy it but now that I am a pervy don’t give a shit I think it would be kind of hot provided I was loaded enough to just go with the flow bro. I had hair extensions in at wakestock and didn’t want that to be fussed with so I didn’t do it there either but we had enough horny mobscenes of jocks surrounding us, we had our fill. In the video of Lady Gaga crowd-surfing no one seems to be feeling her up out of celebrity respect despite her wearing a mesh body suit only.

Also have you seen this?

I love her makeup tutorials. Moving on.

Where am I?

The tale of 2 broke girls continues.

But we must start from the beginning. I was almost going to bail because after the taping of creeps on Wednesday night, your hero let’er rip on the town so I was not feeling so hot yesterday but I caught a second wind, got my act together and went out. Jules needed my +1 so I couldn’t pull a bail stunt. Aunt Raymi saves the day. Again.

They have their own little thing. My Friend™ does this for attention and she places herself in high traffic areas so that you cannot avoid her. She is ridinkulous and being a little more clingy lately now that Lady Garbage is gone. They cremated her. She is gone gone gone :( like I am picturing her in a box buried in the ground under a nice tree someplace then keep reminding myself that nope, not possible. I didn’t think to ask what they did to her and I wish I didn’t know because it makes me more sad. I think morbid heartbreaking thoughts as hard as possible to make myself sad so that I can feel feelings because I think it is healthy. Healthier than being a soulless bitch and just being oh whatever it’s a dumb cat bye bye, you know what I’m saying? I loved her. I gave her her own name, she had a few others but you all know her as Lady Garbage. Okay I just made myself cry next topic please.

Jules and her lollipops why must my 20 year old friend always constantly remind us about that? She’s going to be 21 soon and then she’s going to SF AND she’s going away for a month before that so naturally Bechnique and I are pretty gutted about that OMG crying again what a loser I need a f-ing nap haha.

I waved to her at one point when I was dancing on the vip booth and she was like, what? Lolhfkjdsfkjs that was hysterical to me.

Hilarious. It doesn’t look like that when you’re there and the lights are going all dance club bananas when the flash cancels that out and you get a photo like this the cloak of darkness protection vanishes and it’s just two funny dogs and people standing around. I love crowd scene photos, so many little stories going on and funny faces, stupid dance moves frozen in time.

This picture is funny to me we are all equally rtrd’d.

This one needs to be bigger because you need to take it all in.

I need hairapy. People be diggin’ ma ponytails. Not one other girl in ponytails out last night. Wonder when the trend will blow up. Maybe also cos I wore ponytails on creeps, we shall see.

See? I am stoked that there are TWO episodes of creeps. The finale is July 11 and the reunion episode is July 17 which I’ll miss cos I’m in Aruba so tape it for me and put it on tha internet. I got to have my retribution on the reunion episode so I must see it!!

Hours spent killing time between tapings on water and vegetables made the cast really bond, a happy and most welcome surprise. I’ll post the rest of my pics next post promise.

Makin’ fans and friends urrywhere I go.

Can you tell I had an all nighter (practically) the night before? Not really!

Seen here, guy in the tie is Bobby and he featured me in one of his columns in Elle magazine and it will be in the August issue he says. I gave him some manswers for dating advice or some such. Behind Lauren is Zach Bussey, more pics of him in a sec. He said we have met before but I have no recollection of that because I was probably tanked at the time and he looks like a nondescript average dude no offense. I meet tons of the same people over and over again at these twitter things and I still can’t remember a lot of their names but I know their faces and too much time and parties have gone by for me to go hey dude I’ve partied with ten thousand times what the fuck is your name again?

I remember when I had your hair Meg and then I messed it all up. I like you Meg, you’re sweet.

Zach this is a great angle for you.

Mr. Edgar what is up.

Uh great.

I fist pumped a lot last night and made it rain money. Yes it’s stupid but you can’t help it your arms just get in the air and before you know it you’re the epitome of, of, a total tool idiot. But it’s so fun espesh from the VIP area dancing and being watched and smiled at. That was so Kardashian of me. I can see a few people busting me taking this pic heh.

I like your shirt booboo.

Bobby and Meg, what’s that all aboot eh? Do tell. I’d watch! Okay mommy’s tired see you on the couch. Have a killer weekend! I’m dancing in the Pride parade on Sunday/Canada day I can fit one more girl if you’re interested.

Disgustingly yours, Raymapaloser.

Raymi Gaga Karl Lagerfeld

I mixed my tracey the minx halloween costume shirt with my army nod/leopard print cardi plus Gaga shades. Meow.

My skinny pants are too big for me. Oh Deiter isn’t that just aw-ful.

Also scraping barrel bottom for clothes and am on fat phase raymi sized underwears so I legit look like a hobo junky. Heh. Makes for more interesting outfits. These man dork hipster briefs make me look like the movie Cocoon, an old geezer with saggy underwear materializing into an alien that turns into a bright glowing creature and goes to geezer heaven.

Yay doggy is back! Movie time!

but i let the water take me

So, when I invented my brand at the age of 17 a hundred years ago luckily I had a crystal ball combing the future of a thousand cosmos for meh. Future forecast: MINX.

You know those “learning yourself” questionnaires on getting to know each other on the first day of school, or a work retreat (as if I know anything about that sort of thing) you’re typically asked what animal you are, I usually chose something from the cat family or a monkey, something cute and vicious. The older and more provocative I became, I knew my animal was a minx.

Kathy and I get right down to biz. We minx together so often she’s now my buddy. I fill her in on all my ridiculous shenanigans, gossip, publicity stunts, lascivious celebrity run-ins, you name it. She is a legit celebrity nail tech, she DID GAGA and tells me newer bits of info regarding lady gaga’s minxing each time I get a manicure. You’ll have to go hear for yourself, it’s not my story to share.

This’ll be the one. I’ve had my eye on this design for months. We’re still designing a raymi minx. Excuse me I just recovered from fainting. I ran to my manicure, have you ever done that before? I recommend it, the exercise euphoria makes your stories more interesting, I think I squeezed in about 400 anecdotes. We all love for our artists to be eccentric and insane. DONE and DONE.

If I had the time I could get a minx manicure a week. My nails are sponsored like my hair but they don’t have roots so I don’t have to get them done as often as I get my roots dyed. Funny how I turned my job into being kept and purporting an image as such, I’ve never been accused of being a kept woman so many times in the last week, not accused just assumed, a woman of leisure. Trust me, I do not take my not having to appear at an office every morning life for granted and while this superfluous activity packed life seems like ring-around-the-rosy, I assure you, I hustle my ass off and have the mania to show for it.

Heat lamp. I am careful to take my hands out from under it at intervals cos I don’t want them getting tanned.

Then Kathy files off the excess expertly with her glass minx file.

I am going to select a special lucky lady out of the crowd for a raymi the minxing on the house during my talk this month.

Teacher met me with camera and bikini top cos I knew I’d be sweaty and gross from my run and hyperventilating. I run so hard I see stars, to the point of blacking out in the sun. Everyone I know who runs says they do that too, so stupid and hilarious.

I’m over-privileged.

Can’t wait to wear this AA bikini THIS SUNDAY SEPT 4 are you coming?


You can see my nail flesh through the decal. BALLIN’!

Another famous minxing. Katy Perry is a huge minx fan too. Google it. This isn’t her.

I bought my friend Leslie a nice show soap from Kathy’s salon. Show soaps is an inside joke we have.

The more I age the more my Kerouac eccentricities come out, weird skinny naked manicuring hahaa.

Mind is obviously being blown.

One satisfied and happy dorky customer later. Speaking of sponsorships, if you want to sponsor me some exercise gear I would be more than happy to represent your brand. This ROOTS number is about to bite the dust, it was a good run. No pun intended. RAYMI@RAYMITHEMINX.COM I find that I am much more confident when wearing appropriate fitness attire and people think I am “doing it right” when I blast by like a looter being chased in futuristic sleek spandex. When I run I hold my water bottle out in front of me like I’m at a casual cocktail party I refuse to get those water bottle waistband grenades. (OMFG HOW MUCH DO I ACTUALLY WANT THEM?)

And look how long my hair is. If you want to get Minxed, hit up Kathy at Heartbreaker Salon located at 889 DUNDAS ST W. just northeast of Bellwoods. Say my name and get a discount and enjoy your tidy little nails for a week as well as not having to do any dishes lol. 416.869.0440

Now I will hunt for all my Minx manicure choices. There’s the ska set, the gator, metallic, pink/black tartan, I can’t remember them all can you?

Nail art is huge right now, it’s worth it to spoil yourself with a hip put together ‘cure, instantly makes you feel great and like a lady. Like, a Minx.