you suck because you suck


alright i wasn’t gonna say anything but then ryan made a post about it so it must be a slow news day or something (seriously the news stories on global the past week have been hilarious HOW TO DEAL WITH YOUR TOXIC FRIEND and some other stupid non-pressing issues i can’t remember, maybe something about pipecleaners? kidding) cos this shit is making the rounds again. (lets follow it up with hipsters then twitter ok?) what shit? Toronto-bashing. YAY!

why do i fall asleep every time i touch this subject? is it cos of the side of the fence i’m playing from? or is it really that inane? yes, the latter, totally.

lets argue about lemons vs limes ok go! what why not? that’s because lemons think they are SO BETTER THAN LIMES!

did you hear about this?

Billboard ads in British Columbia for Coors Light beer are being taken down after complaints from Toronto residents offended by the message.

About 30 billboards throughout the province show a can of cold Coors Light and the words: “Colder Than Most People From Toronto.”

HAHAHA great. you know we don’t talk shit about any other city, province, until they cast the first stone, then it’s gloves off but really even then, we still DO NOT CARE and that bugs them even more.

here’s something i wrote back in 2007 about this:

last nite we caught the majority of a movie we had been intending to see for a little while now, let’s all hate toronto. it is very good and very informative. basically the entire country hates toronto because they are jealous and toronto is so arrogant it doesn’t even know it is hated and everyone who hates toronto says yes they would like to live there, and also no one has a concrete reason as to WHY they hate toronto, they just do. they think we think we are new york (yawn) and when asked every torontonian says fuck no we don’t think that, that’s just something teeny tiny tom in timmins thinks, and then it spreads. oh and another reaon toronto is hated is cos of leafs fans? who cares. toronto doesn’t talk about how much it hates other cities yet it is a national obsession to hate toronto. lame. there’s more to be said but you should just see it, it’s pretty funny.

sorry you have to hear about OUR news sometimes canada jesus could you be any more stereotypically canadian? shut the fuck up. where you live i’m sure it is very pretty, and i dig that too, i’m not TORONTO OR BUST (nor is anyone else here can you imagine that!) i love ALL of ontario and yeah i’ll admit there are places outside of this province that are just as if not more beautiful. YOU are the giant babies making this war between us, shoving your mountains and trees and bud on us that we already knew about. groan. yawn. repeat. are we just simply “not allowed” to like ourselves or something here? WHAT IS THE GIANT FUCKING DEAL!

here’s what it all boils down to that toronto is fucking untouchable by and reason supreme numero uno why you guys compare us to new york 24/7: COOLNESS. it’s cos we’re fuckin’ cool. to the bone and your city isn’t (you personally may be but you will never win the fight for your city). you mimic ours, try to, you mimic other cities even, and when it doesn’t pan out for you TORONTO THINKS IT’S NEW YORK is your go-to defense. lazy. how about toronto stands alone with its coolness, it has its own priorities FUCK it’s ITS OWN CITY doing it’s own thing everyday EVERYDAY who the fuck are you you’ve never even been here and even if you did you wouldn’t know where to go what to do to enjoy yourself. it takes work being cool, and effort. you can’t call a cool town meeting about becoming cool, you just is.

do i hate cool people? YES. (real cool people, not poseurs, whom i also hate but for different reasons one being well, they’re poseurs) why? because i recognize that they are likely too cool for me and i will be rejected. do i know this for fact? fuck no. am i cool myself? obviously. but do i still feel inferior to other cool people? yup. and so does everyone else. it is ingrained in all of us that we must be liked, we must be popular and we must maintain that. do other cities fall short of this skill? of course. is that really a big deal? no not at all, you can totally fall in love with an un-hip place and have a perfectly rad time yet populations of those un-hip places still feel the need to slag on the cool out of unnecessary insecurities. stupid really. why can’t you just “be” and shut up about it?

ryan mentioned The smartest response to this would probably be to mention that there’s a town in Alberta that’s literally building itself to look like New York so that it can get more movies there, so if there’s anywhere in Canada that’s guilty of thinking it’s New York, it’s that, Alberta, town.

WELL ISN’T THAT INTERESTING! i seem to receive a gauntlet of troll hate regarding toronto from many a person residing in this particular town too ha ha.

sorry about your inferiority complexes, guys, it sucks being the nerd at the party i know. well, actually i don’t know so whatever maybe get over it and leave us alone. true i do know a ton of irritating toronto people, and actually you know, these people aren’t even toronto natives so i guess it’s all your problem. likely the most annoying of toronto cold shoulders you’ll receive here will be from someone NOT from toronto, or ontario. seriously. i know i am pretty accommodating and nice to newbies here and when my friends complain about toronto yet live here, guess who the first person to tell them to shut the fuck up is? yes, me.

basically, neither of us will ever win. don’t blame everything on toronto ok. you suck because you suck, that has nothing to do with us.

oh and maybe you should actually stay for a week before opening your stupid fucking mouths and no, scarborough doesn’t count. or mississauga.

as a nation we collectively get enough grief from our retarded southern cousins so why add to it?

one more thing, i’ve met SO MANY out-of-towner snobs here like they come here just to hate on toronto and have their defensive backs up the entire time, total dark clouds surrounding them too and totally boring and abrasive. fuck off, leave, and keep dissing toronto from afar you whiners. so glad i wasted my time being nice to you.

another funny point about people comparing toronto to new york is such people have been to NEITHER city as well, people from new york come here and KNOW firsthand that it is nothing like their city.

in summation: you are fucking stupid.

week in review

hello friends.

good thing i decided to curl my hair eh. curls plus heat is a no go.

couldn’t wear the gypsy throw out in the heat wave.

bumped into tim totally baked mowing down on a quesadilla from a new mexican joint in our hood, score!

say no to drugs, indeed!

stupid move ten thousand. this was a discounted boston cream cake. i threw out all the strawberries the next day cos they just smelled foul. this thing is still kickin’ it in the fridge and fil won’t let me throw it out cos he is making his way through it even though it’s totally making the fridge smell. boston cream craving has so not been satiated as this thing was garbage. basically i just need a can of custard and a tub of chocolate frosting. they also wouldn’t let us into the lab for 3 dollar jacks cos of it and now fil doesn’t ever plan to go back again. seriously we can’t come in cos i’m holding a cake? losers.

you are not people.

there’s a second flash in this vid where you can see my naked reflection in the tv.

threw some parm in there. unnecessary.

the selection of dips at G’s was pretty dismal.

the great idea about nuking pesto is burning the roof of your mouth with hot oil and having huge blisters to pop and stingy roof mouth for a few days. also eating this and watching the second half of The Haunting in Connecticut almost made me barf, it really did. that movie just made me straight nauseous, the ectoplasm and other dirty shit ugh sick. i was going for a piece of cucumber then something went passed the screen (startled me) and it flew it up in the air and rotated like a pizza pie and landed back in my hands. after that i was like fuck this i’m taking a shower i hate this movie tell me how it ends.

dinner with cid looks like this. i totally love cat hairs floating around my plate. way appetizing.

so lazy.

i drew this last nite so if a bruise should appear on my right arm i know how i got it. raymond (everybody loves raymond)(i have gotten fil into this show finally we’ve been watching it a lot) started a bruise journal too. so far there isn’t a bruise there, but it might come, i am very delicate.

kilgour’s last nite. fil went there saturday when i was out with the girls for angie’s stagette (those pics to come) so i needed to have wings last nite. i like medium not too saucy, i don’t like the heat to overpower the flavour of the delicious grilled essence. so i got 6 mediums.

while fil ordered 12 suicides and i had one and of course we fought over it. he says if he wanted eleven wings he would have ordered eleven wings or if he knew i would eat one he’d have ordered 18. dear guys: YOU ARE FUCKED IN THE HEAD. also, selfish and you have food issues too. i share everything and it phases me in the least.


when we go for a slice of pizza, fil gets an apple juice. me i don’t order a drink cos 1. im cheap and 2. i don’t drink drinks, i just need a sip and i see buying a bottle of water as a disgusting waste. does fil save me a sip of apple juice by the time im finished my pizza? no. am i in the wrong here? apparently. this is fil: IF I WANTED AN APPLE JUICE WITH A SIP MISSING I WOULD BUY ONE. why do guys need the entire fucking bottle? are they allergic to sharing and manners and generosity?

i wore jogging pants turned shorts and felt like a giant slob and fil pantsed me five times. we saw KZ and cory go to the bathroom but pretended we didn’t cos they didn’t see us (plus we were mowing down on wings and had sauce mustaches) but i did wave at kz and thought she saw but didn’t oh well there did my part lets go haha. i was like she is going to see my blog tomorrow and be all HEY WE WERE THERE TOO and i’d be all yeah i know we saw you IGNORING US.

sunday and we’ve got a date with the pool.

my glasses fit over his glasses, the sun was blinding him. yeah right you just wanted to look fabulous.

been into the extreme close-ups lately eh.

i’m sure these passengers were lovin’ the show. when you pass a bus on the highway do you sit all rigid and stiff, like put on a bus act cos you’re hyperly-aware of the possibility one person is looking at your legs and arms oh no how do i sit like a normal person is this how i’m supposed to look to them? jeez relax much apparently not.

i will angle my legs like so to let that stranger know i am casual, care-free and have a loose attitude omg why do i even care!

blythe is gettin’ fuzzy. she’s chalky from the anti-fade tattoo sunblock balm.

ugh me and my stupid wave ha ha so cool.

gator likes to be floated around, he drops the ball then you float to it so he can be a tough guy and attack/retrieve it. repeat 400 times.

sunday was the hottest.

rusty is not a water fan.

i sprinkled the guys with a little bit of water from the noodle gun and in their stupid minds that somehow equals dunking me underwater. dear guys: IT ISN’T A WAR PS WE ARE GIRLS GET A CLUE. i threatened bryce with my mystery threat that works on fil every time “i’ll do something you don’t like.” he said he didn’t care. telling him my hair would turn green convinced him to leave me alone. why do guys have to dumb and dumber it all the time though seriously? when lauren holly throws a teeny bit of snow at jeff daniels he packs a fucking ice ball and whips it in her face then snowjobs her and drags her down the fucking hill wtf.

turbo likes the pool but for some reason preferred being emo in the corner instead.

nice tan.

my baby toe is f’d from dance.

shade seekers.

before i got out they brought out this huge awesome floater raft you can sit up and cross-legged in it or lean on one arm, so comfortable. this one i’m sitting on was impossible to get into that position.

time to get ready for dinner.

awesome skinny mirror i took a buncha noodz. maybe i’ll photoshop flowers over the private bits, my tan lines are pretty deep. perma-white bikini.

All the fly ladies are making a fuss

fil is pretty much on his way to being blackout drunk at this point.

alicia i tell everyone your token white girl arms in the air dance moves rule all the time and then i break it immediately following.

brad taught me a new pose, the instant face lift/5lbs lighter in the face – when you smile touch your tongue to the roof of your mouth.

so not drinking coffee here. some joker put a beer bottle in the well.

oh abby. good thing alex got this off before tarley saw her haha. she so loved the attention. the video of it is hilarious cos her green eyebrows move and it just looks so expressive. nick did this. he started to write sting sucks on her stomach but it wouldn’t work.

hahah aw!

then she got a nice massage.

this happened and we couldn’t belive our eyes. cynthia and shari’s dad gettin’ down to notorious BIG.



i made a video of them dancing it’s cute, kinda hard to see what’s goin’ on though. look how soaked my hood is. that was the fuzziest hair nite ever.

i’m interested in seeing how that guy’s wedding video turns out and where it ends up.

thank god for those iphones. musical ADD party is the best party. THIS SONG SUCKS NEXT oh you like that song well too bad you’re not dancing if you want to hear a song you have to dance.

we also had a microphone to sing along, boy that was pleasant.

then i found some confetti and it stuck to our wet clothes so funny. nick (wasted) would not shut up about the confetti how it was his favourite and when would more confetti be happening?

i worried i might get in trouble, maybe it was special sentimental confetti?

i gave everyone a handful cos i didn’t want to be the only one in trouble, then the bag ran out and i went back to those people GIVE ME THAT HANDFUL I NEED IT.

cofield got it good.

blackout! oh just wait, he was so loaded he danced. i told him he danced and had pictures and he goes I DANCED!? yes, AND SANG!

soaked shoes couldn’t even feel my feet, and i was sockless too. those are great woods shoes fyi. actually in one part of my dream last nite fil’s mom was like oh i’ll just throw them out when she saw them wet and i said excuse me these are two-hundred dollar shoes! and then she left them alone. i also dreamed that lindsay lohan babysat me and i realised now once and for all she would have to be my friend i would just have to remind her that she babysat me and i had pictures to prove it.

meanwhile this genius kept walking into rocks in his sandals. after the third or fourth time i dragged him to the tent (1am) i got in took off my shoes and jacket etc and he zips up the tent with him on the outside. i go excuse me what do you think you’re doing it’s time for bed he says oh i didn’t know that was the plan. then some back and forth nagging he goes to bed and wakes up insanely hungover, no recollection of how he got to bed. i had to give him eno and pepto pills and a chill pill.

then the super long sparklers came out. we all marveled the next day over how amazing it was that no one lost an eye or a finger. not exactly a safe activity while drunk. that kid on the left is 18, man, to be 18 again. we all thought he was going to barf. didn’t as far as we know. he asked what the girl with the betty boop tattoo’s name was.

i made that.

and that.

fil cringes his balls off when i reenact this scene for him HAHAHAHA. he was like hey lauren, lauren LOOK at THIS! then twirled the sparkler in one hand and pose pauses, twirls it the other way and poses again. wow that’s great honey! there is a rave glow stick shoved under the brim of his magician hat too.

no no keep going yeah that’s COOL.

aw he just said, “i hate myself.”

i spied a bear costume in one of the rooms in the cottage. it was just a rug. i was planning to put it on too. too bad woulda been hilarious.

alex was doin’ some slow jam sparkler poses too.

uhhm what?

fil was lying there in the tent like a hung loser, he called all of our phones even though i just left to get him a coffee. he texted steve ‘NURSE’ (he’s a paramedic) i get back and say through the tent hey fil how would you feel if i brought bacon back with me? drooling noises and moaning, well, i have better ta-da!

oh my god yes. ha ha you can see fil’s beer from the nite before when i had to drag him to bed. he was pretty bratty about it too, you’re welcome dude. majorly hung, woulda been worse if not for me.

nurse shows up.

things are pretty racy these days in riverdale.

next morning hangover everyone was pretty quiet.

kaine trying to nap it out.

hello friend.

heaven looks like this.

and it tastes like bacon and sausage and fake cheese and egg and butter tea biscuit that disintegrates on your tongue once it hits it.

right before it rained and rained and rained some more.

we had a nice discussion about tea mugs like these. nana’s house staples. i like the extra attention to detail effort put into the inner print.

the nite before nick said i feel like i’m being an asshole, i’m being “that guy” i said dude you’ve been that guy all weekend. fil and nick have been friends since grade 7.

yeah thanks so much for capturing my entire outfit.

wild flowers everywhere. steph would faint from sighing so much.

speaking of. S-I-G-H.

feelin’ real smart.


kaine’s bouncer war scars. moral of the story is if you fuck with me my friend will punch you until he needs hand surgery.


archie, you don’t SAY that you are speechless because if you speak that means you aren’t. fucking idiot.

i love her hair in the first one. oh speaking of i saw that ad for bump-its. am i a loser if i bump my hair up?

this entire comic’s story revolved around a raymi-type debacle. she wears hooker socks and gets shit for it. the moral of the story is, do what you’re told and don’t stand out?

fuck the squares, girl.

meanwhile betty dresses like stephanie tanner.


the sun finally came out.

old man porch.

then we had to leave cos fil had a show to shoot that was canceled anyway due to rain. i was a little bitter but completely wiped out anyway and crashed on the couch.


still makes me convulsive tremble laugh when i watch this video thanks sarah.

you ain’t a has been if you never was.

makeup drag queen music time

things you can’t say

Best injury

a piece of glass flew into my stomach from my brother swinging a grover stuffed doll while jumping on my bed and it hit the ceiling light and smashed to the ground, i was sitting leaning against my closet door wearing a bathingsuit (kids are awesome) it didnt even hurt that i recall, the glass was so sharp and fine it just plunked in, not too deep. my bro jumped off the bed and out of the room totally frightened he was going to get it, my parents came in the room, picked me up and put me on his bed in his room (glass was all over my floor) and took the glass out of my belly, i was gushing blood. no stitches, and i have a scar now, its tiny.


DT Bistro lunch date

hey thanks dennis

awesome day.

is it embarrassing to call a variety store and ask if they have watermelon and then show up and buy one? cos i can’t like pretend that it wasn’t me who called.

first epic anxiety of last summer way to go loser.

Ryan: haha i saw a fistfight over tom petty once i’m not gonna argue
someone went, HE’S OLD AND WASHED UP
got punched in the face
haha people love petty eh

i’ve always had a thing for her

sorry it didn’t occur to you to be interesting on the internet when blogging started.

fixing a hole


and then this dog from outerspace showed up to hang

this one is still available


how to fake a british accent for over a month for no reason

what is the laziest most effective non-illegal way to fix this?

caution: white person dancing


hey fucksicles

i was made for this

come see how much of a scumbag i look like right now please

perfect saturday


BJ GAME BOX with sass

you’re all rock stars now in a network town

anyways, your like make ur own fucking hollywood, and i say fuck yeah!

happy birthday martin tweed!

Just gonna tell a quick story here, regarding why what Raymi does is valuable, important

starvation headache

does it offend you yeah?

made nachos last nite

which doll is prettier? you can still cast votes.

fucking dick tried to steal our bikes!

i miss rock of love like a hole in the head.

raymi’s kitchen

i had issues learning to swallow pills as a kid. true embarrassing story. there is nothing more disgusting than a tablespoon of OJ and some mystery white powder mixture floating around in your mouth.


so i have this thing where i think i’m really fucking funny right?

steph was very excited about going out on the town with the big girls.

so far she hasn’t written back.

we should make a skit and film it for my blog because i dont think all of toronto is convinced that i am a fucking lunatic enough yet

i love you chunk

i would not shut up about jimmy so embodying charlie bucket. there’s something hugely unfair about party dudes with grey hair, women can’t pull that off. i intend to try it.

uhhh ok?

look it’s me again. (one of these guys actually emailed me cos of this post!)

oh summer that’s it i’m not fucking the rest of THIS ONE up!

are you being gay when you play with your own dick? YOU CAN STILL VOTE!

now and then

fil‘s blackberry bit the dust so work gave him a new one and he needed a new photo of me for it. (when he’s mad at me he changes the photo to cid hahahha) i hated that other picture i dunno why he liked it so much. also, we have absolutely no idea where it was taken. if you look at it bigger you can see a christmas bow beneath a light and that window stuff on the window, pub window shit what the hell is it called? anyway yeah, narrowed down to “in a pub” but which one? my guess is the king’s arms but i do not recall wearing that batman shirt there. if you can figure it out based on all the holes fil and i inhabit you win the chance to do my laundry. i also see in the window reflection a hockey screen, it could be anywhere. wow what a waste of time.

A mic in my hand and a mouth full of Miller

i am working on destroying enhancing this green tank i got from joe fresh a few years ago. i have mangled two other shirts as well. you really need the right material to fray it up (soft cotton, an AA shirt would be perfect) this ribbed stuff is ok but takes a little more effort. cut off the entire bottom seam and pick at it with your nails, dragging upwards. longer nails work better and you need to have patience.

a perfect shirt to wear on mother’s day.

yesterday my moms was in town so we hung out in the most irritating part of the city, yonge/dundas square. the heat was icing on the cake. after hitting up the clearance corner of UO we went to salad king. mom was like but i don’t want a salad. it’s like grape nuts over there, where’s the grape, or the nuts? why are you called salad king, dudes!?

this was the pose of the day get used to it. it’s called the bun showcase.

you can do it even if your hair isn’t in a bun.

then i noticed that bracelet and guilted my mom into giving it to me. it was pretty easy.

UO loot. oh god need to go back when i’m not having IBS. fil fed us expired (since april!) feta cheese the other day so i’m pretty sure bathroom party is due to that. thanks fil! he will eat yogurt if it’s a month passed it’s date.

the pensive police called and they were like good job.

there’s a ton of dude clearance merch for once i’m sending fil over to therapy shop for himself today. every time i get him something it doesn’t fit and then i have an over sized t-shirt on my hands that i have to incorporate into my already ridiculous wardrobe.

i had the buyer’s remorse as i went there with the intention of getting something for a friend. i decided to get her a necklace from forever21 instead (new addiction on the horizon holy cheap thrills is that store!)

peep my pits. celebrated crap attackz by purchasing an xs coug dress. the skirt is very flippy.

gypsy artist eccentric pretentious oh this old thing shirt.

mom wanted to share a sandwich, sorry, samwich. what is it with moms and sandwiches? f that we’re having noodles. she was a good sport and really liked it. even added broccoli to our order.

way natural.

thai basil chicken. medium. fil dared me to order 15 chilis. yeah right i don’t feel like fire diarrhea right now thanks.

smart set, well played. bad music though and too loud it drove me bananas. they’ve certainly youthed-out their ish to contend with h&m and UO. it made me sort of reminisce about the good ole days when it actually required effort to come up with a “hipster” look. you’d have to track all that shit down from various nooks and crannies, dead relatives, friends who got fat etc but now you can just walk into virtually any store and come out in a fucking uniform. lame. i never thought “the man” could outsmart us or would be able to figure out how to mass-produce our look, as it wasn’t just one t-shirt, chuck taylors, ripped jeans, not simple. but they’ve done it and i think they’re winning.

it is taking every ounce of strength within me not to claim this for myself.

my mom was all don’t get a small no no not a small what’s it with moms and clothing sizes, why should i buy a size that doesn’t fit me right now? i’m not a fucking toddler i’m not going to grow into it, no more growth spurts here k relax pill. then i realised what she was up to, she bought the exact same shirt for herself IN that bigger size. mental.

need to get a better picture of this shirt in a proper outfit.

what’s with the filmy pictures?

lost the socks (allen’s patio was HOT and zero breeze) and changed shorts.

getting your fall wardrobe in summer and wearing it during summer feels like trouble. we got jogging outfits (omg) at the end of summer as kids and were only allowed to wear them to grandma and grandpa’s house which was stupid cos they had a huge backyard that we always rough-housed in, grass stains!

we got line-bumped at allen’s cos we tight with them and “we” as in “fil” but whatever. if you are feeling like douche-spectating while eating amazing appetizers that is the place for you. also cool is the people who smoke while the table beside them is eating. collective gasps and tsk-tsks could be heard for miles and miles. my favourite guy was the colonel sanders look-a-like complete with all white suit, white hair, beard and cigarette. such a vision.

love the dick tracy lamps once the nite comes it is very detectivey.

there’s that pose again. that bun gets a gold star it lasted all day AND did not bequeath me bun headache.

then they placed a mirror beside fil for some reason.

what’s more ridiculous is chad and fil completely are the same person. same attitude, dad-like ways, quiet, smart, ugh irritatingly so, while holly and i are bla bl ablahbal one more drink one MORE DRINK BLAHAAH. v funny. why are dudes like this attracted to chicks like us?

they probably have the same phone number according to holly.

two orders of this.

two orders of this.

more uncanny in real life. white wine drinking sasquatches beside them gave holly stink-eye for taking this one so we had a stare-down contest. oh go fuck yourself shrek, sorry for enjoying ourselves? get with the times and the digital age, people have cameras and want to capture moments to reminisce over later on. i won the staring contest i pretended i was a statue and one grimaced hahaha what? got something to say? yeah i didn’t think so. NEXT.

to be fair though i do look like a fucking brat. oh i wish i took a picture of the tiniest glass in the world holly’s vodka soda came in. the one your nana gives you before bed with it half full of gingerale cos you’re spazzing out and NEED MORE POP JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE. ridiculous. we fled that scene and went somewhere loads douchier. i’d never strolled the danforth strip that far before and holy lord, doucheland, love it. greek sluts for miles, sleazebag dudes too.

kinda at least once in my life want to get my nails did as a joke.

airbrush hot peach with palm trees of course i mean obviously.

seriously how would i type? i can barely type these days anymore and my nails are pretty much non-existent.

oh yeah she got a haircut, we like it.

oh man the music there buh-rutal. more good people-watching judging opportunities. after a few drinks you are like, i understand these people especially the gigantic cleavage of our waitress layin’ the drinks on hard.

oh man this took forever.

oh look it’s you!


what’s the secret password who cares zzzz.

oh yeah i bought fil one of those 5L heineken kegs cos he was annoyed at his website yesterday and waiting in line at the lcbo this huge crabby gross drunk yelled at an employee to open up her cash cos there was a line, made me cringe. brosz7 knew someone who worked there before and said they all talk about everyone who shops there, like, knows each drunk, how often they shop all that. dude why do you want to draw more attention to yourself shut up! meanwhile had one huge tallboy in his hand. ps. the keg was for me too cos i missed out on the weekend keg cos apparently during my hour nap during the wedding reception it was heineken hour.