Tag Archives: toronto

Raymbeccablah

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What’s up wizards!

Friday started a little something like this.

WTF is this How I met your Mother?

I love drag shows. I am jealous of them because if a real woman got up and impromptively lip-sank to a tune NO ONE would watch, everyone would think she’s insane and the women would crumple in to a humongous pile of self consciousness midway-through. AWWWKWARD.

Ha.

It was one of those surprise party nights. They have a raffle and someone randomly wins a huge birthday party prize pack (decorations, cake, like instantly that night it becomes YOUR birthday party!!) and one time Bech won. We didn’t win this night but it was exciting waiting for the raffle. What? It was! Shut up.

Speaking of awkward? Hotkward.

I look like doctor doo-little with that teeny pink doctor purse. Statement purse.

Local neighbourhood action watch. Watch us not give-a!

Baby crib. Nuit night? Can’t tell it was a very relaxing and partytastical weekend and both days kind of bleed in to one another also our repeat outfits. Lots of waffling, waffle pants, shirt. We did not make or eat any waffles I regret to inform you. Ate everything else though.

We have a theme-song to The Raymbecca Show BTW. The beginning of the jingle hits when we are on our bikes NON-SEX-UAL LEZ-BIAN LIFE PARTNERS IN CRIME deedly dee. Hahhaa. I am cross-eyed here as a bonus.

We biked to brassvixens through all the drunk nuit blanche stuff. We gave’r on Friday like all hustlas do so it was a Christmas beeracle we made it out at all Saturday. Drunk Zombies everywhere. Every city person I know or blog I read was all kinda over it but I loved it. I planned to storm Nuit like a Raymicane but it just didn’t happen so we shared a lovely time with Shannon instead, who hadn’t gone out for 2 days herself so she was up to get (moderately) down.

Wore my klimt pants regardless in case some Warhol scene was going to happen to me. BE PREPARED RAYMSCOUTS!

I’m going to start working on my routine for poletergeist soon. It’s going to be fun.

Going to be an awesome Halloween party! Come on out.

I don’t think I will be able to do the climbing upside down gyrating move by then (1:06) but it’s cool that someone told me on twitter that all strippers use the weekend songs for their sets now that I am in to the weekend bahah. I am so into the weekend right meow. Anyway I am going to do an homage to Today’s Special in my performance I SAY NO MORE. It’s going to be radular so that’s one Halloweenis party you must attend at some point.

You like 2 Broke girls? I got yer two broke girls right here. Ha. It was slapstick comedy intensity all W/E long.

Nuit Blanche or garage sale?

I asked that aloud to Raymbecca because obviously the merchant running this gypsy sale was full-Parkdale. Rebecca LAUGHED SO HARD.

And then the is it a Yellow Santa or a Wizard? game began. Yellow Santas cannot resist sitting right beside Rebecca on the streetcar.

Second brunch at The Lakeview. I drank mine. Pics of first brunch when I get around to it. I got a free mimosa because bees were after me. I figured out the most novel food discount ever: get dive-bombed and attacked by bees. I am serious! And I didn’t even complain or ask for anything free, nada they just waved my mimosa. I had to run inside though because there was a hornet on me my food it was embarrassing because everyone at the Drake has to hipster-behave but I was like, excuse me there is a bee chasing me. The guys to my left finally helped with a rolled-up newspaper. The server was like, are you sure just one because there are lots of bees on the patio. I was like there’s MORE!!!?? And there were. Like three more. Stupid goes, did you shower?? YES! Fuck everyone! All I was wanted was brunch and it was turned in to a Martin Short sketch. I don’t know why I even bother getting surprised or frustrated by shit anymore, it is always raining down on me I should just surf. Cool what’s next life?

No, not that.

Ahh happy place :). We had a private Nuit Blanche. Like a boy’s club in a totally pink girly club exactly what the doctor ordered. Shannon we love you!

Trying to get her on the Gangnam bandwagon.

This got an immediate thumbs down. That means someone must REALLY LOVE US. It’s true. Hate is the new love. Nice try guy.

I love ginger. I love gingerale. I love it so much they should be paying me to drink it I have several real life accounts accrued thereof influencing severe gingerale dependency upon all those around me that I love. Canada Dry, Schweppes I got mad love for either so you lemme know when you’re ready to talk. Bech may or may not have consumed the majority of 4L of gingerale this weekend. We ate like every 30 minutes. How is this not a television show yet? Bahaha.

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It’s not me it’s you

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Muh-om! I like this better in colour why do you have to go all Tracey pizazzle on it for? Email me the orig please raymitheminxATgmail.com thanks.

Beautiful night much. Two moons in one night. Baha couldn’t resist.

Do you think I am going to pull a Susan Sarandon and not pose with these mini babes? Do I look like I am crying inside AHAHA. Whatever, the more famous you become the less your age matters because notoriety provides relief as long as I don’t turn in to a potato just yet. I will admit I look tireder than normal here, it happens.

Or I can just jump in between these two. Likewise, take a page from the Tracey Chronicles and limelight it to middle age myself. It’s not Pride and Prej. times anymo folks. Anyone who even deigns to make age wisecracks is stupes anyway, plus jealous. I have spent 12 years amassing my seniority you don’t just start a tumblr and become a scene-ior. Ha I am going to tweet that. And while I do notice the younger ones who jock me, I ain’ts stupid. You know that I know what’s up. Read the three letter word url you are parked on right now, that is who I am after all.

Lois was bigging me up to this lady from the Netherlands or something, I love when Lois warms up my audience then I take a big Lebowski swig of my drank and step in for the grand finale. She was talking about the Toronto shooting I think or some other lady who looked like her was and I was like no thanks. You don’t exactly set out to tell your life story to strangers all the time but after they watch us mess around and catch each other up on our lives and take photos, drown one another, their curiosity just can’t handle it any longer and they have to ask you what the f-k is going on.

Exactly lol.

Talking is just as distracting as changing the radio station while driving, the drama steers the car’s wheel with those two. I said to Steve yesterday that I bet when compact disc players were the thing there were totally Dateline NBC and 20/20 scare-terror for ratings reports on music causing collisions and such. Basically just be afraid of everything, make everything illegal and call it a day. Anyway, Lois and Tracey are just too unreal when they drive to and fro TDot. I say no more, otherwise ah lose ma f-ing mind about it!!!

I dare you to drown on my watch. You’d do it too just to get mouth-to-mouth with me I bet. I do possess lifeguard saving CPR skills and all that jazz. Maybes a little rusty though, okay I poke you where? *slams on your chest* bahha.

I wonder when Tray will load up youtube with her vids. She is in to that as well. Incriminating material or not, she is in to it. Always watch everything you do or say around her, she is worse than I am.

This picture would rule if it wasn’t so distorted from FB muth-er.

Lois told me to F the B here cos of the Aruba one. I love how Lois gets out all her little demons passive aggressively like that it’s so cute and I don’t mind at all being the conduit either. Love my LoLo. I like pissing off my mom too and she likes it, it’s disturbing! Lol.

I love this shot mom. Hailey and her buddy spent the week together doing all kinds of things I think that’s great! They go to different schools and are both going in to high school this year. Rocky seen here, kept it real.

I really liked Hailey’s friend’s hair. I have never had wildly dyed hair now that I think of it. I “missed out” oh well. I think I am wild enough though and I’d feel too crazy with kool-aid hair.

Steve’s new murse is the best he loves it so much I am so happy for him and you know what, black was the best colour after all. Tarek is a wizard. Steve is a wizard. They are both wizards. It’s good to keep ties with wizards. If you dudes want to flex your metro-sexuality a little bit too please peruse the NB Man section of Nella Bella I can’t believe I am dating a stylish modelesque dude come to life, I took some photos of him in the parking garage yesterday carrying it and was like wow, simply, wow. The way he held the bag like it wasn’t at all non-masculine. He even carried the blue/green Riviera clutch yesterday for me on our lover’s walk. Aw. I was like stop people are staring, he rocked it even harder. He had a RUN DMC kinda vibe going down so it worked.

I think Hailey is more graceful than I am, mom says she is very ladylike and fem, plus took ballet.

I’ve seen one of her performances before I was impressed and she was so young.

Thanks for the bathing suit Paddy! Everybody loves it. Even Pauly Shore!

LOL. More of that post here.

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I can’t do this alone don’t make me

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Yesterday I ran around all day doing errands it felt and because I am a blogger things take longer like, getting offered free lunch when I was intending to starve all day on coffee like I normally do. I think writing this last sentence just broke me of my blogger’s block. Remember when I said I’m a blogger not a fighter I thought a smart person would say you’re a blogger not a writer. It is good to know that there are no actual smart people on the internet and nobody said that to me and got my feelings hurt. Phewf. ps. I have Lohan freckles. Only on my face though thanks to the sun.

There is no way I could wait til fall to start using this clutch, also, it matched my dress perfectly. Steve was like go with pink I was like no way Steve.

So I had a me-day. Why not. Sometimes you don’t gotta blog man. Those times we call, hangover. Man I wasn’t going to talk about how hungover I am today but who cares, we had date night and cube back-to-back so it was defskies a PBENAYSHE kinda day. Even when I am not working I am working, documenting, walking around in a circle while on the phone I think we will need a family phone plan based on our phone habits. He’s at the salon all day and calls me on his smoke breaks omg he’s calling right now and is singing red red wine to me lol okay balcony break brb. Hi I am back wow look at what Playboy said on twitter about me today I feel like Rihanna, my life is a dream life it is getting nuts!!! Good thing.

PBE also retweeted one of my quotes from my Raymi Bunny Bio that will be blogged on the Playboy Tumblr very soon. They told me their network will be exposed to me, broadcasted to their 33,364 facebook people omfg. Then in October a projected Raymi boom might hit when I get blasted on Cosmo TV’s network a friend/colleague said is a super good network so I am on pins a little bit. You think all kinds of funny things in this head space like I wonder if I get famous enough will Chadvil ahah Chavril I mean but I prefer Chadvil. I bet he has pain resolving Chadvil effects on Avril. I have to finish the thought, will we get invited to their wedding?! #GOAL. Tyler Stewart you better go too! It is our Canadian Nationalistic duties to. I will be caught up to you by the time they marry or break up.

My Aruba beach Caribbean sea collection. Yes I miss that place! I will tell Lois we should def go back in the fall I wonder if Victor will have his new palace rentals built by then for us. That’s Aruba money too I wish I kept more of it I dumped a huge handful of coins in my mom’s hands at the airport when I was desperate for a pop after my Academy Award winning diva tearsplosion when we were informed we might not get on our plane of the ghetto airline that seems like it flies once a day, Lois thought I was faking it. Oh no way man I was ready to leave that island I missed Steve like a mental patient misses freedom. Anyway mom I want my coins back. If you sit on this smoking nook you get to play with my coral.

Sorry my face looks like a diamond? Not sorry? What? I need to make more money so I can hire someone to do my blogging for me or do the other stuff I don’t want to do so that I can focus 100% on blogging, there is just too much to do and I am too easily distracted thanks to social media and email volume, tumblr, playboy, lifeing it up, events, acute hangovers. Maybe I will just drink less there’s an idea bozo. Okay we will be boring starting tonight. Promise. Save for an opportunity to rip it up with an A-List celeb, no drinky tonight heard it here first. And many times before that too.

One of my internet besties painted this of/for me, I have awesome Little Raymis I truly do. One day we will meet and hang and maybe go to Burning Man together, go check Liz‘s blog she is amazing and in to thparkles and rainbows and hoola hooping and crafts and has a handsome tattoo’d husband and she blogs her entire life hardcore like I do, she’s a sister for sure! Also please tell her to get the fuck on twitter already so I can insert her in to my network and increase my following and while you’re at it Little Raymis please stalk to me on twitter too, get in before I turn in to even more of a minor cewebrity. “Just saying”. I am also in a race with Crystal Head vodka to get to 4000 REAL followers asap. Or maybe I should just buy some like everybody else? Yeah right, that’s desperation.

Raymi is real, in fact, so real, that maybe, Raymisrael! That’s for all my Jewish fans you’re welcome.

Some more of what I accomplished yesterday. Steve is in love with his bag so much SO MUCH and a guy on the street stared at it when I had it on my back at the lights of King and Bathurst. He became positively mortified by his own stupid bag and I recognized the look of influenced all over. his. face. Do you like my gay fashion writer bougy persona? Me either. I hate being mean. It’s just that I felt like a straight baller with that hot doctor Miami Nu Vintage bag slung over my shoulder. Now lets go play nurse. I love Tarek, he’s just like “Do whatever, you’re good organic.” about my bloggy it girl style. Thank you so much by the way Tar-Tar (which I ate last night because I am fah-bulous) I think the Holiday purse for Madonna is a fantastic idea. Of course I sang-songed it “hol-i-day-ay!” you know I did.

:) CONGRATITUDE! Raymism of the Day.

More productivity from yesterday.

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I’m the director you’re the cast in my play

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On something-night we went out to Gusto. Finally.

We’ve had a couple failed attempts making it to Gusto in time for the kitchen to still be open I mean and making The Thompson’s Counter diner whatever it’s called our fave sentimental haunt for a time there. Now I have a steak place! And if they heed this bloggy request, a pesto one.

Ethel! I said there’s NOTH-EENG in your teeth! You’re fine.

This is funny. I get asked a lot about my foodieness and they’re like, Raymi, you’re a foodie? Didn’t know. No I’m not I just go out to happening restaurants in the city 7 days a week. Have you heard of that hot new one? We’re going soon. No more from Blabbington til it happens I have a habit of big mouthitis much to the chagrin of my colleague. Whatever. People lie all the time on the internet (I don’t) and so what’s a teaser of a “is going to happen” going to the harm about really. I’m starting out honest.

We were naughty. I was hosed. We love the vin rouge!

It’s quite dark in Gusto. Had to fix the pupils on some of the shots. Not this one though, why bother. Also that guy is seriously in the middle of a point in his conversation LOL.

I loved sitting beneath this Final Destination death trap. Forgot about it instantly.

The chef adored us. I caught all the line-cooks checking me out actually. Our waitor was a little grabby too. Jesus Christ am I in heat or something, chill brothers.

We had such a good time. Tres romantique. Cry count? Can’t remember. At least 3. I cried when he had to go to work yesterday morning. GRUH-OAN oh shut up! He said it’s okay he cried at the bank Ahahaallolol. I tell Rebeccugh about all our crying and she is like:

Ahaha I love that cat so much.

More hairapy please. I am dating a hair guy and I look like a termite come on here people what’s the idea see! Poppycock! I just said all of that out loud. Steve says I should have my blog on tape, read some of my posts for you. Give me some posts you’d like to see me read all fired up for you and I will! Raymi Audio!

Love grilled bread. Too bad carbs are the devil. Once in awhile if it’s ultra thin and glistening see-through with olive oil ah ma gaaaaaaaaaaaad.

On a scale of ONE to Jewish, I’d clock us a hard eight.

So Hostel, and yet so cozy. J’adore.

Your parents on Date Night. Back to the Future.

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I’m a bloggy girl in a party world

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So Tuesday nights are for CUBE-ing. Rooftop Partio fashion show, feel me now? I and my homies get to be the guests of (dis)honour cos my BE-F does the hair for the models. Sometimes they are boy, and sometimes they are girl models. Not many summer nights left so that’s where I’ll be erry Tuesday if you want to join in on the shenans and you’re in my crew, you let me know I ain’ts got time to track all your asses down. My nail run is pretty good btw. Hope I don’t jinx it.

Everyone loves my purse, I get bored of things quick so I’m always pleasantly surprised when it gets a compliment. Best 4 dollars ever spent.

Raymbecca is hanging with Craig now which is great because they are both the most stubborn people ever it makes full sense AND they are both close friends of mine PLUS I get to take credit for them meeting, dynamite boom you’re welcome. I told her we are in a couple’s-off cos she has all these dorky photos of Craig on her FB like him throwing a rock in to a lake at sunset agahahaha Me and Steve are fully gay so I don’t care how angery this post gets them.

I look like shit here he does not so I will be a nice homeboy and blog it anyway. I was MENSTRUATING through my goddamn face it looks like. I might draw a rabbit head over my head probably remind me. All I know is he is smoking hot and aww yeah buddy!

Dear Frankie, your lingerie is to die for. Get all over my body asap. Help me pick out some pieces Little Raymesies.

Wanted to take Booboodoodoo out on the town, fancy town. She’s a Rosedale girl anyway so these are her people. She delighted the entire rooftop we are very proud of her. She’s just our little Jules, she gets some good burns in on ol Auntie Raymbo though. Can you guys please flipping tell me what night to book off for her party so I can arrange a pisnatchio cheesecake pick-up too GOD HOLY HELL WHY DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING.

I was still in a bit of a pissed off mood from the day and my peer-E-ood. Some of the models had a bit too much of a cocky swagger, attitude, we could smell it to high hell.

Sweet bods though. Tone down the hot shit vibe please, that goes to everyone up there on that patio. Say it with me now: h-u-m-i-l-i-t-y.

That dress would look amazeballs on me. Bech and I tried to see between her legs when she was in this teeny thong but an annoying guy was right in our way blocking it, I have a video of Rebecca yelling at him I think. He never moved, was too drunk to hear us. We stand behind the couches and go through drank tix like cray VIPLEASE cool stories that we are.

Jules’ face matches my shirt. ADORABLAH! To be 20 (not for long sucka!)

Rebecca has to learn how to use my camera when we are up there and get a photo of me ALL OF ME. Maybe colleague wants to come some night?

Anyway until that day, bathroom pics it is. It really bothers me if I organize the night and I don’t get any nice pictures of myself. #DIVA.

 

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my blog exploded yesterday

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I love this cluster the most. I talked to the pez owner outside, I go, you’re the collector aren’t you like I was Michael Douglas and he goes yeah, I am. Calf tattoos give away everything. Especially calf tattoos of pop art kitsch toys and superheroes. I asked if there was one elusive Pez he was after and do people give him all this pez now, cos it’s “a thing”. He sighed and went, yeaaaaaaah. Anyway the one he is after is a mr. potato head with moveable pieces and it’s hard to find one nowadays with all the parts intact so lets find it for him Little Raymis. A mission should you choose to accept it. I bet we’d get breakfast for life. Or brunch cos I don’t do mornings. Fuh-uck no.

If I call you Gargamel it is because you are being an a-hole. Family burn. Shut up Gargamel!

Look what I get to eat with when I am looking like a Gargamel.

He eats buckwheat pancakes fake bacon and chocolate chips. Sadie’s is a granola haunt, no meat or booze. Fine. Lol. I’m sitting there all trainspotting greasy hair in a booth, we usually vespa over and by usually I mean one time before this but who can tell time anymore who cares SUMMER OF RAYMI.

I just got my period too! I sang I’m not pregnant to the tune of I want candy. Try it sometime, super fun!

Peanut butter smoothie and some spirulina added (I think? I wasn’t listening) and it was insanely good. Our waitress was Finnish, she was unique looking, beautiful, wearing a kerchief and short hair I had several me as waitress in diner fantasies thanks to it. Her voice was very cute. I pictured her being our maid as well and/or housemate and making us pancakes at home lolol I am just making this shit up right now guys kidding maybe kind of sort of.

Anyway speaking of maybe kind of sort of brunch can be a dangerous thing, people per chance are hungover during it and they’ve done their daily (bathroom) business maybe or are about to and you look around at some of the people like oh he’s about to blow for sure.

This omelette was the tits.

Then we went to Kensington market while Steve‘s stomach spasmed in cramps and I was like I don’t want to do this if it’s not fun I didn’t even feel like going to the market but it felt like you had to otherwise hipster yuppie day off couple guilt would sink in and then you start snapping at each other. Buying lots of junk from every store you hit helps stifle that. I tried on all this stuff at the Japanese import store and nothing looked good and that’s when I started wigging out but Steve was well ahead of me at that point anyway and then I was like this activity is coming to an end. EVERYONE was annoying, I think it was cos of the holiday hangover, post long weekend blues. Welp no one Raymes on MY parade and gets away with it.

By nightfall we were cool as cukes. Makes you wanna _______.

Ps. thank you Unite! This is my second haul of this product. Shannon at Redd hooked me up back in da day (3 years ago) when she started sponsoring my head. She did my Raymi Winehouse updo for my 10 Year Blogiversary party.

Anywhoo. Unite you’re my pro stars I look forward to rippin’ it up with you in San Diego. SD was one of my summer highlights last year spending 4 nights Solo at the Hard Rock Hotel. I’ll show Steve those posts when he gets off work. I’m prob 140lbs or so in that video.

Love my kitty ear ring.

Exactly.

Team Yay Cray tales comin’ right up. Have a nice lunch.

ps. my hits are insaneballs high at the moment, there are 4 possible/combo reasons for this. Hope my blawg doesn’t tank again today but if that’s so or ever happens go to my tumblr instead of the crazy house.

One more thing, please donate a crystal head skull if you want to be part of something cool. Dan’s people contacted me yesterday. Fingers crossed for big tings.

Put it out there and don’t be surprised if it comes back to you my friends.

Made a list last night of all the concepts we have in the pan for the other 20 skulls! So stoked.

The first pink one! Tried to do Hello Kitty pink. We’ve also used olive oil to try to make a lava lamp. It kind of worked. They’re going to be made to be played with and purchased. I’m going to fill one with luxury chocolate. Yes for eating. We have a cork one that we’ve been adding other random junk to. I won’t tell you what the others are though because I am not stupid. Okay fine one will be buttons and other gems from my mother’s vast antique collection. Dad do you want to make one too? We are doing one for Dan Aykroyd especially also.

BRB is the place to be.

Mo Vespa mo probs

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Come on you leetle beach, lets go.

Bajeelions of pictures for later. I have to work on an Aruba post though now so this was a little squeaker to get your fix sorted. No problem. Hey that’s what I’m here for.

Phenom dinner at the Rectory (for once lol) we made the kitchen with five minutes to spare before its closing. The burger was out of this world, this island. Steve eats plain (everything) burgers so when the patty is enough to impress this foodie alone, I am going to sing its praises to whomever will listen. BRB don’t touch anything while I’m gone.