How much is that blogger in the window

Vasko is a genius.

Look look!

I’m a Sexpert. Dr. Raymi Love. First the NYT (thrice, natch) and now Elle. Next week PLAYBOY. #hustla.

Nice piece Bobby! I’ve been harassing him since May about this one lol. Here’s what it was in full, which I guess I can post because 1. I wrote it and 2. It’s already in print. Kay here we go. I have zero recollection of what you are about to read, yay mystery post! I’m so Hunter S. right meow, no, the rum diary guy whatever guy that was. BURP.

Is confidence key (for men) in a club-like setting?

Yes definitely but not over-bravado, which can easily be mistook for THAT GUY IS SO A PLAYER. But in a club-like setting it doesn’t matter cos you can’t hear what is even going on cos you’re usually wasted or on drugs or probably both (this is coming from a party girl standpoint) so therefore the over-enthusiasm and attention is fully appreciated if the guy isn’t a letch, euro trash sleazy letchy and dry humping your leg. But at a place I’d go to with my classy (then get silly) girls, a place after work hours in the financial district where everyone is dripping with confidence, you must go the distance, cock-block, and buy her and her girls a round of drinks then you can chat them up for a good half hour and see if there is a spark. If you don’t have confidence, you can hide behind online dating and fake it til you make it.

Is there any way for a guy to “score” without being aggressive at a club/bar atmosphere?

Be devastatingly handsome and practise your best smouldering Clive Owen smouldering, brooding looks, stare puzzlingly into your glass, ignore everyone and wait for the prey to come to you. Wait til last call til the married lying bastards clear out and head home on the train. Wear an awesome outfit, have good style, avoid Trailer Park Boys, be GQ. What males in cinema are you drawn to or emulate, be them, but be yourself.

Do you feel obligated to chat with a guy after he’s bought you a drink?

If I didn’t want anything to do with him then I wouldn’t have accepted his offer, I’m not desperate and I have my own money but that’s not to say I haven’t taken advantage of these drunk perverts so you have to have your wits about you to know if you are being taken advantage of. What are you looking for, love or a bone? Women have motives too. Some guys buy you drinks and forgot they did, disappear, it’s bizarre, so we don’t get a chance to feel bought or obligated. The bar/club scene is a wild place. Some mammals buy you drinks, some don’t.

Will you dance (or entertain) somebody you haven’t talked to just because he’s approached you on the dance floor?

Yup. Life is short and I have come out of my shell unlike the shy girl I used to be despite the image of confidence I project. My mother is also very shy, but we are cute, I draw them in and she goes in for the kill like a tag team. Your buddies are your support system too, the more the merrier in a dating crew even mixing the sexes. I let the guy on the dancefloor know when enough is enough though that’s for sure. It can get awkward. Also, if I see a dude in a bar I like there is nothing stopping me from approaching him if I am feeling up to it. But I’m a girl’s girl, if there’s another bird with her talons in him I won’t bother.

Is it common in modern society for women to approach men in a bar setting? If that’s the case, do you (personally) use a more aggressive, or laid-back approach?

Depends on the talent of the room. There’s moments where you lock eyes and everyone else in the room goes away and it doesn’t matter how many trolls chairs or obstacles are in your path, you meet on the same playing level and then see if there’s a spark. I’ve been both laidback and aggressive. I think women are super aggressive these days than they used to be and yes it’s common, for alpha chicks, we are all getting hotter and preening and self pampering, there’s more women on the planet and not enough men to go around so tell all your loser single friends to man up already, we’re waiting now catch up.

(ps. I wrote all of this before I met Steve).

Well? TGI-EFF. Gotta scoot. xo your hero.

I can’t do this alone don’t make me

Yesterday I ran around all day doing errands it felt and because I am a blogger things take longer like, getting offered free lunch when I was intending to starve all day on coffee like I normally do. I think writing this last sentence just broke me of my blogger’s block. Remember when I said I’m a blogger not a fighter I thought a smart person would say you’re a blogger not a writer. It is good to know that there are no actual smart people on the internet and nobody said that to me and got my feelings hurt. Phewf. ps. I have Lohan freckles. Only on my face though thanks to the sun.

There is no way I could wait til fall to start using this clutch, also, it matched my dress perfectly. Steve was like go with pink I was like no way Steve.

So I had a me-day. Why not. Sometimes you don’t gotta blog man. Those times we call, hangover. Man I wasn’t going to talk about how hungover I am today but who cares, we had date night and cube back-to-back so it was defskies a PBENAYSHE kinda day. Even when I am not working I am working, documenting, walking around in a circle while on the phone I think we will need a family phone plan based on our phone habits. He’s at the salon all day and calls me on his smoke breaks omg he’s calling right now and is singing red red wine to me lol okay balcony break brb. Hi I am back wow look at what Playboy said on twitter about me today I feel like Rihanna, my life is a dream life it is getting nuts!!! Good thing.

PBE also retweeted one of my quotes from my Raymi Bunny Bio that will be blogged on the Playboy Tumblr very soon. They told me their network will be exposed to me, broadcasted to their 33,364 facebook people omfg. Then in October a projected Raymi boom might hit when I get blasted on Cosmo TV’s network a friend/colleague said is a super good network so I am on pins a little bit. You think all kinds of funny things in this head space like I wonder if I get famous enough will Chadvil ahah Chavril I mean but I prefer Chadvil. I bet he has pain resolving Chadvil effects on Avril. I have to finish the thought, will we get invited to their wedding?! #GOAL. Tyler Stewart you better go too! It is our Canadian Nationalistic duties to. I will be caught up to you by the time they marry or break up.

My Aruba beach Caribbean sea collection. Yes I miss that place! I will tell Lois we should def go back in the fall I wonder if Victor will have his new palace rentals built by then for us. That’s Aruba money too I wish I kept more of it I dumped a huge handful of coins in my mom’s hands at the airport when I was desperate for a pop after my Academy Award winning diva tearsplosion when we were informed we might not get on our plane of the ghetto airline that seems like it flies once a day, Lois thought I was faking it. Oh no way man I was ready to leave that island I missed Steve like a mental patient misses freedom. Anyway mom I want my coins back. If you sit on this smoking nook you get to play with my coral.

Sorry my face looks like a diamond? Not sorry? What? I need to make more money so I can hire someone to do my blogging for me or do the other stuff I don’t want to do so that I can focus 100% on blogging, there is just too much to do and I am too easily distracted thanks to social media and email volume, tumblr, playboy, lifeing it up, events, acute hangovers. Maybe I will just drink less there’s an idea bozo. Okay we will be boring starting tonight. Promise. Save for an opportunity to rip it up with an A-List celeb, no drinky tonight heard it here first. And many times before that too.

One of my internet besties painted this of/for me, I have awesome Little Raymis I truly do. One day we will meet and hang and maybe go to Burning Man together, go check Liz‘s blog she is amazing and in to thparkles and rainbows and hoola hooping and crafts and has a handsome tattoo’d husband and she blogs her entire life hardcore like I do, she’s a sister for sure! Also please tell her to get the fuck on twitter already so I can insert her in to my network and increase my following and while you’re at it Little Raymis please stalk to me on twitter too, get in before I turn in to even more of a minor cewebrity. “Just saying”. I am also in a race with Crystal Head vodka to get to 4000 REAL followers asap. Or maybe I should just buy some like everybody else? Yeah right, that’s desperation.

Raymi is real, in fact, so real, that maybe, Raymisrael! That’s for all my Jewish fans you’re welcome.

Some more of what I accomplished yesterday. Steve is in love with his bag so much SO MUCH and a guy on the street stared at it when I had it on my back at the lights of King and Bathurst. He became positively mortified by his own stupid bag and I recognized the look of influenced all over. his. face. Do you like my gay fashion writer bougy persona? Me either. I hate being mean. It’s just that I felt like a straight baller with that hot doctor Miami Nu Vintage bag slung over my shoulder. Now lets go play nurse. I love Tarek, he’s just like “Do whatever, you’re good organic.” about my bloggy it girl style. Thank you so much by the way Tar-Tar (which I ate last night because I am fah-bulous) I think the Holiday purse for Madonna is a fantastic idea. Of course I sang-songed it “hol-i-day-ay!” you know I did.

:) CONGRATITUDE! Raymism of the Day.

More productivity from yesterday.

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Mo Vespa mo probs

Come on you leetle beach, lets go.

Bajeelions of pictures for later. I have to work on an Aruba post though now so this was a little squeaker to get your fix sorted. No problem. Hey that’s what I’m here for.

Phenom dinner at the Rectory (for once lol) we made the kitchen with five minutes to spare before its closing. The burger was out of this world, this island. Steve eats plain (everything) burgers so when the patty is enough to impress this foodie alone, I am going to sing its praises to whomever will listen. BRB don’t touch anything while I’m gone.