Thank you for getting high with us

Now here’s the second part to the Las Vegas style shit show we put together for the Android TO after party. Killed it.

Omg so scary and not even halloween yet!

Oh hey Paul. We are old friends. Once in awhile I bump in to him when we’re both on Nicolas Cage benders and it is funny.

Come come the more the merrier the less the scarier. One of my Raymisms. I have a lot. Michael Holett DM’d me and said, if you made up barflyentele, that is genius.

Ew gross not sexy. I look like a snausage. I bought those when I WAS a snausage actually, years ago. Never wore them. They’re so obvious.

So, once upon a time I had this idea for a burlesque troupe…

And you betcha there were haters but I kept at it and at it and that little division of my Raymi Circus is thrivin’, oh yes. I love all my girls.

I said to one group of boys that their flights had all been cancelled and they were permanently grounded, WITH ME. One licked his lips. Heh. I love being Raymi the Minx.

I wish I knew the thank you for getting high with us slogan as I’d have been saying that all night long. So much was going on I’m lucky I didn’t lose my hat.

I have really long arms.

What’s going on here what’s the big idea hey hey!

Impressive, though I might need a second look.

Not all of us are coming back.

Is that peach underwear?

Got tired of walking.

I wonder what they’re thinking, playing it cool while they feel my entire ass up.

Never fear Batman is here!

Yeah pretty much party stripper party awesome! Proud of it. Takes balls. I have them, do you? Two days later I leaned over the edge of the CN Tower. That’s Little Raymi #1 there.

Minx would look wicked on my arm in this right. Damnit.

I look like one of my childhood best friends when I show my brother and tell him he will die. Laughing. I was so retarded here I couldn’t figure out this was Alkarim.

And why I am saluting Hitler, ehhhh. I am actually waving What a power couple no?

Ha so confusing. Nice one Sean.

The other party room. Hot asian gamer chick.

We had a fake fight.

Pfft yeah.

Doin’ more of the thing.

This way no this way.

Bunny’s face should be on a toothpaste box so perfectly classic pleasantville apple pie right and I didn’t wash my hair what is it doing??? So puffy and stringy.

Aw I love him he always makes me laugh. Whether it be this or playing the keyboard with bubble wrap on his head stuffed in a Knight helmet.

Zaira’s big cans and ANDY MILONAKIS.

Gee I wonder which guys in this picture were on shrooms, the big mascot heads?

Do you think I was playing it cool enough?

Jazmin was their favourite.

I am talking all street here I think he bought it. Sean told him I was crazy though, thank you Sean! Holy smokes you should read some of the email chain between me and Sean over the last month planning this party ha ha.

Oh yeah some shit went down in the social media hood this night. It involves your hero. I don’t think that is what I am talking about here though despite my most amazing of facial expressions.

Thank you Celina for getting the roller lesbian punk babes together for this and fielding all that drama holy crap everywhere there be drama us burlesque misfits had some ourselves. Makes life exciting don’t it?

You know what’s sad and funny is, I actually look older than Andy Milonakis. I am going to go kill myself now kay thanks bye he’s 36!

Those sex costumes make your arms look humongous. And your face like Tara Reid. Enjoy! Some girl added me on FB who is a famous dominatrix and she has the same flight suit, weird right? That’s why she added me I think. I dunno, you never know when you are on the internet right? Scary place.

I am forcing him to kiss me here and he is playing funny guy. I think he thinks I was just trying to use him for his celebrity or something (totally was).

I can tell he liked it. Facebook liked it.

Then he started being nice and telling me stuff about crap that us performer guys talk about involving hotels and all that star treatment and Jazmin’s boobs probably.

OH how nice for me, a zit on game day!

And last one.

Everyone had costume changes it was the greatest thing. Loved curly ginger haired Harry Potter kid. That stage was bouncing and tunes were blasting I was blasted ahhh life.

Party shots! Hi Sean!

Anyone could get up in there and slam dance. Stephen did, that’s when we met I was drunk sitting on my luggage cross legged like a lady and he was piss wasted and some other little raymis were gathered and we fell in partying socialite love. Wicked dude! he goes, and I’m not even attracted to you, you’re not my type hahaha. More perfect. he’s the one I went to Thompson underground with and partied even dirtier with Pauly Shore.

Well wouldn’t ya know it’s all over.


Don’t remember if I blogged these of Erica’s. I feel like I did.

i think so?

Deleted last night’s post. Liked the photos still.

Love Wills Landing. VIPLEASE treatment pleases meh.

Guys tell me why I am interesting please I have to make an audition video one where I’m not david Hasselhoffing and shoving chicken wings in my mouth.

Bragger’s paradise

We had to get milk. I dressed like it was a runway competition aka like Aladdin. We’ll be back here tomorrow for more B roll footage and scene shots. Exciting.

Jump suit!

LOL. Doot doot doo what am I a chimney sweep? YES!

It’s hard taking pictures with your left and the touch screen. I have always had secret tattoo agendas to have just a tiny part peeping out, on Blythe it’s her cute barbie legs. Now this wrist, a tail. I can put it over my face like those STUPID moustache tattoos lol. Just kidding I can haz not be a hater.

Stella gets Queen/Dufferin nervous so I thought I’d sort her nerves out by getting her all riled up at the dog run and turns out the dog walking freaks were there and their big bully dogs it was a hilarious time.

Cool order, flickr.

We saw them before at the park and Stella wanted to play so I walked us near pretending to be following Stella, which, I was. But they seemed too official and it was harshing my mellow so we bounced, “Mummy has to work.”

It’s nice to get out for a bit in the morning I love it. They were all teaming up on the labradoodle, cos he’s the “constant” of the pack and they all want to fight for pack dominance. Dog world is like in the wilds. I liked seeing the curly one get attacked, he liked the attention anyway. My shoes got muddy and I got to pick up Stella’s crap using a purple bag with mini white hearts dotted all over it cos the other dog freak needed my bag for his gargantuan dog crap yeah thanks pal! Lol. I almost got taken out by the running stampede herd 30 times cos I was in the tiny through-high-traffic way. I feel like a fraud with all these dog folk and inwardly panic that they will find me out about being a dog newb plus Stella doesn’t help me out at all in any shape or form when she gets spooked and rips me down the street like the Apocalypse is after her. Bye guys see ya later!

Not bad eh.

There’s some real artists out there.

Lady Garbage was licking My Friend. It was adorably retarded and I missed capturing the action. They’re so modest.

Rick put these all together by hand. He showed me once.

I have an Ikea idea lets get a new fucking mirror!

I am going to Sarah Connor my tricep it’s going to be disgusting.


Can you imagine getting punched in the face by me now! The last thing you see before darkness is the slinky minx tail, pow. That’ll look good in work out videos.

Courtney is a hot mess right now, Teacher and I had a fight. I needed a breather so we went out as trainwrecks last night and I brought Courtney to Jupiter. We also went to the Thompson as well, which is a whole other planet unto itself lol. Saw Odie, Stephen was holding us up so we missed him, “I want to introduce you to Lanny! Order drinks on me.” like fifty texts sorry missed you Courtney and I looked like lesbian slobs. Everyone was staring it was hysterical. We started out at the Caddy and it was all downhill from there.

Google this word and THEE SHALL FIND ME.

Serious Unicorn brains in a jar.

All spilled out OMG no. I got a million other pics of these with flash from another hang out there.

Speaking of trainwrecks what do you think about Courtney’s (lol not my Courtney, LOVE, Courtney) latest thing on stage? Man she hates Grohl but I think what she meant about food off Frances’ table she meant her own, right? And sorry maybe the one redeeming thing about you once was Kurt so lay off the poor sod holding up the photo of him.

That’ll show ya to get in ma grill all damn day #dogownerhumour I’ll take you to the dog run and have all these dinosaur sized dogs chase the hell out of you then terrify you under the Dufferin bridge aww she’s all curled up in a sunbeam on the couch now.

Ok one more can’t get enough.

We were going to throw this out. May come in handy.

And this candle is from the night we drank Jack Daniels, that green one is from the Pinot Noir and so on.

Bright colours bring brightness in to your life.

Next up, Harth Fest part II mess!

Ha ha what a party slut. I WAS WORKING! It. That’s for sure.

Dude, is that a cod piece?

What happens at HarthFest Stays at Harth Fest. Kind of.


if ya’s missed it

That’s what starstruck looks like.

we’ll be performing it again Halloween style Saturday night with Red Velvet plus many more routines. 9PM Bovine Sex Club 542 Queen street W rsvp and get your name down cos you know it’s going to be slammed.

Helping each other is hot. Shoulda seen us rehearsing in the ring, al the instruments bobbling and bouncing and I have never had more fun than dancing in the ring with the roller derby chicks IN THEIR ROLLERSKATES wile andy milonakis raps. Sean you are a legend for the wrestling ring idea. It was mayhem. Looking over footage now and laughing my head off. BEST NIGHT!

Hot nerd babe girls everywhere.

Harth Fest

Oh man so many things. It feels like a bongo band is playing in my head right now. Well, I am playing bongo music afterall Gu-u-u-u-ilty as charged (gay sing song voice).


Let’s play follow the wizard to her wizard chambers. (this blog post isn’t officially done yet but I blast them out half way to be nice and opportunistic and they’re long winded).

I’m wearing a bikini beneath this, not depends, but they may as well be now cos I’ve shrunken and they haven’t. See how fast I carve a trail, stay close or get left behind. I am ruthless. And a giraffe.


Baha look at sean over there in the corner. I got transfered around the room a lot in elementary school classes cos I talked to every one person place and thing around me then would immediately start up my second groups of Raymites over there too. Ultimate teacher diss is a desk island all alone, like so. Sean and I are getting together today to take over the world so I am going to rip him to pieces for our amusement. I wanted to blog the picnic pics but we have 1000. 0_o!

This is AndroidTO and I had no idea what that meant so I looked for the nearest guy in flip flops…


I still have no idea what he said, something about androids and terminator 4. I asked Sean if I could get a phone and he said I am like 30th in line. ABOUT AndroidTO: It’s a conference. There. This is the second one. If you want more info you can email me: or one of them. The main project we are working on is the after party for it. These dudes LOVE their parties and HARTH FEST began as a joke then got big fast and furious. My kind of people. It will be the clash of the Titans, RAYMBO WORLD + GEEK ELITES + MTVILONAKIS.

Everyone who works at Harth has an IQ of seven billion at the very least. I am working very hard on getting their leader Alkarim to allow me to make him more public. I am a PR girl now. Anyway, instead I will interview his dad (The CFO). Guess what his dad’s name is?


You cannot write this shit! Like When Heaven fell up/down and INTO the spiral staircase (HAHAHAHahhaha) upon her turfing of Big Brother UK, Anton said in the diary room, “You cannot write this shit.” it is better than american BB cos there is nudity and swearing and cameras everywhere even in the pisser and shower. I dream about these people. Yesterday was some serious couch surfing fyi, we caught up with all of our friends, ANTM, Survivor, Jersey Shore. Actually no we didn’t finish ANTM so don’t spoil anything for us please, some girl already did that for Heaven. Speaking of here is the clip. BEST thing you will ever see. She’s the nutbar who talks to the sun king and thinks tall people came from giants and that rockets are powered on melanin GAHAHAHHA!

Skip to a minute. So good. And then she falls AGAIN! Keep in mind that everybody hates her too. I love her cos she’s insane and has the best round-up clips and bungee jumped in to the BB house. I like Thom’s voice the best cos it’s all high and nasally like an old man’s from tim burton’s Nightmare before xmas, “Aaaahhh-oooooh noooooo.” Omg I need a life outside of non-stop blog/working and obsessively watching BB UK marathon episodes.

I picked up that rubics cube that’s not actually a rubics cube, squeezed and exploded it into pieces, putting my phone charger down at the same moment out of humiliation and left it there for the weekend. I got a round of applause. That’s their quirky thing too, they clap for everyone who exits, so endearing. They’re too busy to look up from suicide night coding missions, someone’ll notice and clap then they all clap which means good bye in geek world. None of these assholes around here clap for me when I get up and leave. I get to blog in my underwear though.

There is zany stuff everywhere.

Going up to the 4th floor now.

@fragileheart works here too, at the desk. I don’t know what she actually does though other than flirting with me, asking me why I am so hot, staring at pictures of hot naked chicks she tacks up to her desk (she isn’t gay) and I think she carried a stack of napkins once. We interviewed her on our The Issues (that you will get to see sometime never) and she chose to discuss “MOMS” specifically phillipino moms. Hilarity ensued. These are the Harth cast of characters fyi so pay attention, they’re going to be your party stars. Right behind Andy Milonakis and myself of course. Ha.

Harth Pod is designed by the modern future. Tech elites. They were watching TEDxTO by feed in the lounge, which consist of pod chairs and loungers designed by some Swiss guy I bet. More than that, the guy who FOUNDED TxTO left it and started up Harth with the rest of the boys. Boo-ya slam dunk who’s who swish.

Ps. how cute is this?

Jokes upon jokes upon jokes. These are magnets that are affixed to the water cooler. Which is where they all stand around and talk about Seinfeld like it’s the 90’s (which is my colleague’s Seinfeld-internet-relevancy metaphor I have heard a billion times before).

Pooched. Full of Yogurt.

Trying to see if my spine likes being curved like a potato bug.

Gahahha nice try. Did you throw the word “penis” somewhere in there?


Me getting that guy’s name wrong, Glen? No, but that’s my dad’s name. Oh well you tell him hello too. Baha smooth. I have a crush on every one of these dorks. I am projecting Microserfs on to all of them and now I’m their Jessie Spano.

Spooning rewards? Nope just totally hard workers.

It’s nice to finally be challenged and not the only brainiac I know outside of looking in a mirror. Just kidding! You’re all very very smart too!

Answering the question of why I’m so hot. I said it’s all a trick. An illusion. I’m not!

Then of course I noticed another weird thing, some magnets a genius (a real one and this time I’m not being sarcastic for once) stuck to the drink trolly baha.

In summation, come party with us on OCTOBER 26 – FOR HARTH FEST. some little raymis seem to be confused between the two events that are CLEARLY SEPARATE and DIFFERENT. One is Burlesque (at the Bovine SATURDAY OCTOBER 29), and the other THIS ONE THE HARTH FEST ONE is Andy Milonakis at 99 Sudbury three days prior. Seriously I am going to lose my mind if I have to repeat myself again and again and again. I am surrounded by idiots. Please get it straight. And guess what in-between if everyone pisses me off enough I will be jumping off the CN Tower. KIDDING! That’s the Edge Walk on Oct 28. Lunatic right?


I will be doing a separate post about this one.


This was the day I taught them all the meaning of respect.

That’s something our Uncle John used to say to us as kids and hold us upside down at our grandparents. He’s a genius, can write symphonies, writes symphonies, right?

EARLY BIRD HARTH FEST TICKET SPECIAL 1. You will have to pay extra at the door 2. That will suck for you 3. email for MEDIA* GUEST LIST ONLY. *influencers too.

Speaking of androidTO I have been full on functioning like a robot the past two weeks, one massive project attention after another, after another, I feel like my brain is being rewired from workload expansion to the large variety in the types of projects ranging from music, tech, burlesque, blog, tv, charity, green conscious, foodie, blogvertorial, public speaking, pitch writing, parties BOOM. A hater said recently that I just flounce around and say that is work. HA I wish. From sun-up to well past sun down I am go go go, not to mention documenting it all then blogging it, covering, sharing. It gets exhausting.

Someone said I should be an Iron Fist model. He’s a BMX bike guy so he would know. I told him to write to them and say any lie necessary.

Wanted to eat at nunu yesterday but they were closed so we went to the beac. that place is such a cave, like the raven, my earrings, and poem.

Prosecco is too sweet for me.

While I blogged in Burnoutington, Teacher picked up candles from JYSK. He said it’s like ikea and home outfitters. He bought cushions and tea towels too. YAY NEW STUFF HOUSE PRESENTS!

Hat head day.

Bye for real now!




Anyway brb after Stella and I go on a thinking cruise together.


I’m doing stand-up here.

That was a hard pose to nail.

Sean can you hurry up and get the issues out.

Ripping off Maxim.

And French Vogue.

Ok au revoir.

Someone f’d with my livelihood today and emailed a client maliciously and LIED about me. Is that wrong? What do you think of that? A TROLL. Someone not in the real world at all, a hater reader stalker liar! I am in shock still. Disgusted and helpless. Do you think me using my body in business warrants a witch hunt? I don’t care what you say that is at the very root of every raymi whiner’s issue. I work my balls off. I have integrity. Deigning to go so far as that is disgusting. Like Eyeborg said, in life when I am dealt a bad hand I just play better. Thank you for lighting a fire under my ass. I am talking at on friday at 1.45PM: MORE INFO HERE come witness my Jerry Maguire mission statement moment of insanity in time and get a sampling of my legacy. MOM & LOIS REGISTER HERE.

Also there is the Harth fest android TO after party that Jazmin Valentine and I are hostessing as Harth Airlettes with Andy Milonakis OCTOBER 26 7 PM: EARLY BIRD PRE-PURCHASE (DEM BITCHES BE CHEAPER) TICKET LINK UP IN HIZZLE: HERE.


Meet me in Burlesqington

There is never a day off when you are a Raymi but you can mix business and pleasure with leisure easily if you turn your life into Mr. Dress-up’s yeah?

Jasmine Valentine and I discussed our two upcoming burlesque bonanzas at Chap’s on the patio with an impressive water fountain on it. I had a Reuben Burger, half. It was ridiculous and had a thousand toppings on a pretzel bun. I’m losing weight like crazy lately from stress and work around the clock so I can eat disgusting garbage again.

Look at my hair it’s so fluffy and soft I love my salon thank you Brennen and the gang!

Those are my yenta glasses, some drunk forgot them at the central. MINE. I forgot to put earrings on, remember when I didn’t have my ears pierced less than a year ago? Teacher is buying me earrings for my 90’s outfit and I hope he finds suspenders so I can go full ska. We came straight here from my meeting with the Harth boys and he forgot to throw my mascara in, who knows where I left that thing. I have no eyes and I am going to a reunion, it is necessary.

Teacher’s breakfast.

Mine. pastrami jalapenos swiss the burger was frozen, you know the weird hotel room service butter flower shapes? Service was forever and I only had a spoonful of the soup. Drank a very salty caesar. You have a good caesar someplace then get duped into thinking they’re good everywhere, well, they aren’t.

Thousand island dressing. I figured it would taste like mcdonald’s. It was delicious. Our waitress was probably a stripper, her accent was insane and her hair was total princess artificial in a side pony. Nice patio weather.

V blurry but check the sherlock holmes outfit. I want to be sponsored by stag shop and wear every SINGLE COSTUME!

It’s very Britney in her toxic video.


Ha ha. Membership has its privileges.

No one will be boarding our flight before getting through us first for the OCTOBER 26 OFFICIAL UNOFFICIAL ANDROID TO AFTERPARTY. IT’S GOING TO BE A VEGAS CONVENTION STYLE S-T SHOW – WHEN GEEKS GO WILD. Ok I’ll stop yelling now. NO I WON’T WE ARE FLYING ANDY MILONAKIS IN AND HE WILL BE PARTYING WITH US ALL NIGHT LONG. WE’RE GETTING A WRESTLING RING. Jasmine Valentine and I will be your party hosts flirting up air storms with ya all night long so bring some saucy gals. What happens at HARTH FEST STAYS AT HARTH FEST. I’ll have a pre-ticket purchase link for you soon. Cheaper in advance. This party is going to be off le chizzle at 99 Sudbury, doors at 7. Nothin’ like doin’ tha Humpty Dance on a Hump Day (that’s a Wednesday, brutha).

There will be interactive stalls, kegs, KEGS! FOOD GALORE TREATS DANCE PARTY AND ANDY MILONAKIS MAKING FUN OF US OMG HE IS FUNNY AND COOL AS HELL HE LAST WORKED WITH SNOOP! I am pinching myself. Also three days later on the Saturday of HALLOWEEKEND is our Burlesque party at THE BOVINE. BAM!

Each party guest will be checked in by air officer Raymi the Minx or Jasmine Valentine. It will be an interactive happening you will be thrust into straight off the bat. Maybe I will fake an accent like the orbit gum girl. Too bad jasmine is classier than me and won’t engage in stuff like those wrestling scottish brothers do for WWF. We’re going to be ring girls though. What should our signs say?

Ok one last look now it’s choice B.

More cleave, little pricier, and I’d rather have a relationship with stag shop and have them at the party handing out lube and condoms.

These are sluttier but we love the neck kerchief thing and they give us more cleavage. Hard to tell for me cos I have my t-shirt beneath it. Ha check the mirror reflection behind me, lots of bum bum.

The hats are fun. Gah so hard to decide please help!

Free polls from

Ah doye.


I saw teacher roll his eyes through the eye holes of this mask and then started fighting with him with this mask on ahahahahhaaaahaha.