Last Thursday I was feeling very mint. Mint laser hair removal clinic to be precise and had the opportunity of stepping in to this world of laser hair removal. Something I wished to have done to my bikini area during those awkward teenage years where everyone is looking out down there for a lookeroonie.
I’m a french lady (part) so what can I say, we gets a bit hairy ma petit cheries mais oui.
But what’s all this laser hair removal stuff about exactly and will it hurt?
It doesn’t hurt. It prickles. My hair was a bit longish because I didn’t do exactly as I was told I thought more hair would help them grab it but long story short make sure you shave the night before, not the morning before that’s too much time to let it grow back. I have 7 more treatments to get it right no matter ain’t nuthin’ but a thing.
This is after I had it done and feeling cool as a cucumber.
We all saw a video of my first treatment last week which engendered a great discussion on my Facebook too. Keep the treated areas free from tanning and shaving for a week, in which the lasered hair will fall off. As we speak the beginnings of that are happening to your hero fyi.
They brought her in specially for me. We bonded instantly.
All the places you can have lasered on your body.
Great facility and it doesn’t take long at all. 15 minutes, about.
I wasn’t scared either or psyched myself out and am looking forward to the next go at it.
Requisite out front location shots.
I love the cut of this dress. I was going to wear a green one to match Mint’s colour scheme but it was too big on me.
It was definitely a fun time.
Located snugly in fun and flirty Liberty Village there is lots to do after your visit to Mint.
This store in particular drew us in like moths to a flame.
You can totally see through this thing. Righteous.
I liked how big my nose looks in some of these. I know I am dealing with children when someone makes fun of the size of my nose. How gauche.
Do you like my cruisewear? Cruise or be cruised. Which, also ain’t that bad.
I am glad I wore an eating tent to eat in. I didn’t compare myself to the hot young chicks all around me too much because I am a special and unique creature possessing ageless beauty and remarkable adorablah qualities that cannot be replaced, you know, in layman’s terms: that quirky manipulative bullshit that is irresistible, heartbreaking. What do I always say Little Raymis? OWN THY SHIT.
It’s time to be put through Raymi confidence building finishing school. Can you imagine me mentoring shy girls? Well, I can and I have and I do and I will again. THAT is something tv-worthy don’t you think? Something Owen Wilson-esque for sure ahaha.
The password is pink tarantula
Shhh it’s Me Time. Which is one of my jokes at the table when we’re all gettin’ pished, if I zone out or lose my attention span/go mute I’ll say, sorry that was me time and wave my hand over my face like a magician.
My tuna salad it was aiight. I’m going to dump some real flavour on it (something spicy) before I head out tha’ door. All that flame-warring made me lose blog time window urggh plus typing on this shit is like quicksand and I make a lot of typos which are unacceptable! I also lost time planning trip to Aruba with Lois and Bech!
Iphonereversies bring out the split-ends in my hair more cos the pic quality goes low.
Oh god. Lets just say I grazed over here quite a bit. The truffle mayo dip will kill you with deliciousness.
I didn’t do my mascara raccoon smear beneath eyes cos I didn’t want to wake up like Alice Cooper (as much) today.
I see nipple! When is the last nipple date sighting on RTM?
I know I’m not skinny enough to be but I look like Olive Oil here with my tits that way I think heheh. Why did I wear such a sweltering outfit yesterday?
Family portrait. Parkdale boys club meeting with team Yay Cray look how cool I think I am.
Summer ain’t no bummer.
Look I am so goth. Hi Rob. He always feeds me with compliments and big brotherly advice i just have to remember it now lol. We danced the night away, all of us. I broke out some fakedance (breakdance) moves too and impressed strangers even.
Jules got her braces off! She turns 21 this summer then is going to San Fran. She’s our baby we are very proud of her and all get weepy for our youth in her presence. She’s also smarter than us sometimes too haha.
And now we got another reason to go to SF. When you find out where I’ll be staying you will be blown through a wall mind blown.
He had lots of wigs and beard changes I liked that and the tunes were great.
The family camera is on a perma-macro setting we can’t get off or no one has the patience to.
My dancey sweaty made my makeup go cray as did the moisture in the air from the rain and I’m getting more tanned so I might have to go darker in a tone.
I was insistent on a fanfare entrance to Salvador Darling so we nicked balloons from some buskers. I didn’t go out for St. Pat’s this year as a matter of fact so I got my green props fill in these baboons yeah.
Some guy on FB was like is this a recent pic? about another one of me with the balloons I’ll get to soon and I was like yes it’s from last night, cos this could totally be from years ago, I do not look aged anymore that’s what they are all saying!
Green Fairy. This is the pic.
Jules collects horny mobs of men groupies everywhere we go and she doesn’t even care, breaks hearts all over the place bahaha love it.
Courtney and I still giving good face after all these years. I remember she said once that the women in her family have good faces. I believe you! Luckily mine does too so we can remain friends (aged 4 days apart).
Classic Lauren pose. I’ve been introducing myself as Lauren (LUHREN!!!!!!!) lately periodically I don’t know why, then it just confuses everybody. I like that name. It’s pretty.
You know what else I like? Sliders.
Jalapeno mash. I was expecting literally for jalapenos to me mashed up in a big pile. Sometimes baby’s brain turns off thare thare little one. We had to accommodate Bech’s gluten allergy so we ordered an interesting medley of foods from School (a place I wanna get tight with cos they are mega-amazing!) and cos of the rain we stayed there for a long time instead of going to the beer tents. Standing around drinking beer makes me look 7 months pregnant bloated.
Yeah buddy! Last time Courtney and I came here for our Birthday luncheon they had to kick us out for their staff meeting. They tweeted at her last night that we missed their staff meeting this week haha so cheeky.
No more braces. Mum show this to uncle Mike.
Dig the Snow White theme. Can’t wait to see both those flicks!
The Friendly Cheerleader!
It monsooned like a mother.
Love it. Sent it to my dad. Okay bye bye have a great night!
As you can see this is how it all began. I was late. Always late. The mental preparation required to adequately wig out and crack under the pressure on top of applying make up just so usually makes one diva at least twenty minutes late. There’s a scene in the Marilyn flick (I’ve watched twice) when Dame Sybil Thorndike (Judi Dench) tells off Sir Laurence Olivier for rattling this poor vulnerable already rattled girl’s nerves over being late to set (granted the more famous you become the more late you can be and she was about 2 hours late and I would never do that) something like there’s more things an actress has to worry about than being on time. That goes through my head when I am layering on my war paint for camera because in my head at the time I am thinking about them all hating on me. I hate being late, it’s a trait of course but, one day when it matters most I will be on time.
They didn’t care though or mind plus we finished up ahead of schedule anyway, I motor-mouthed through the questions and finished before the girls showed up. Show at 5:30 and make me look cool. None of those things happened. Just kidding I always look cool. Which is a topic I waxed poetic on for a tad.
Surane said he studied body language and that interviews taken place across the table from the interview subject and interviewee make things more formal and awkward. The chair to chair thing is disarming and better for secret extraction.
So nice knowing ya Toronto I am moving. Haha.
I love it. So Anchorman. Look what you girls missed. Dumb dumbs.
After my brazillionaire which I had during the talk (I like to keep it Johnny Carson) I had this martini, Apple sidecar? I mix them up. I was a good girl on Saturday. I kind of drink only every other day, diet secret.
Their loud boisterous entrance was funnily timed, like oh look it’s my stupid friends now (whom I adore obvs) and Sundays at Mildred’s Temple between brunch and dinner service are often quiet. “I know things” aka EVERYTHING.
Rebeccablah said she needs this for her place. Yes.
Blink count Jules.
Immaturity forever. I was celelibations central. no just two. I was happy and relieved it was over.
Kay now peep all of rebecca’s different looks.
And.
Oh. I see.
Thank you very much Mildred’s for saving me from cleaning the entire house.
You must be in a hipster band to work at Mildred’s, One guy is in the Russian Futurists seen here. We commiserated over being interview nervous. Another guy is in the Manvils.
We had the charcuterie. Yum.
The girls loved Mildred’s. It is me and teacher’s special place.
Okay cool thanks hi.
I was going to go to Holt yesterday but sat on my ass instead. There is always something in the tickle trunk to put together. I almost sold this dress once.
Such a sense of humour. I love it.
Could have eaten that all over again. The caesar is nice and creamy garlic yum yum delicious. This is not a foodvertorial. Okay I guess it is but it wasn’t meant to be. This is how I’ve always done it. Comb an entire haunt inside and out that I love. Insert it into my story.
Ride me!
Rebecca said this was me. Thank you.
Hiya. How’s it going.
The unisex bathrooms are fun! Especially when a posh elder gent comes in and you’re all cackling away shyly.
No old men were harmed. No they didn’t see this either. It’s only between me, you, and the entire internet plus possibly television too.
Then I went to an 8 year old’s birthday party. Just kidding that’s not me. The dorks took a bunch of pictures of them for what other reason than to just make fun of me again. mmm attention! Lol.
Walk softly. Carry a big stick. Wear your casual shoes and you will be less spastic. Or you can climb a tree if you need to.
What?
French Fires album cover. Yes we are a band. No we do not play.
Hi excuse me I need to fax you a question do you have a minute?
She’s at that hotwkard teenage stage. They grow up so fast.
I am digging my natural frenchie eyebrows. I am excited to be a bit darker, well, longer most of all. Rome was not built in a day.
Kind of cross eyed here.
I want to be in a music video cast as the cougar teacher something. Bucket list.
Rebecca left her jacket in NYC. Are the Yay Cray kids cursed? Jules lost her leather jacket to Salvador Darling. I did too but got it back. Okay back to “other things” of secret natures.
How many drinks did I have? Three. Two capirihanas I can’t say or spell that word. NEXT. Then I had a something punch. Teacher had a dark n stormy then rye and coke. His stand-by. I think he thinks he’s classy or something, a gentleman. Yeah he’s not bad whatever lol.
This post is going to be a mess, a hot mess, like me. TGIF!
What a cutie YOU BELONG TO ME YOU ARE MY POSSESSION AGHH EXPLOSIONS! He could barely hear me over the music so we had a screaming fight while I was trying to get us hooked up with some free dranks, he said to relax and have a good time I was like, I am not that kind of person sorry. But then I did. It was tiki night, live band (too loud) and partiers, yupsters, Mom you will like it here.
One of my Deamon forms is a cat. If you have read or seen the Golden Compass (YOU MUST!) you will know what this means it’s on some Harry Potter level shit. I reject your reality and choose that of my own.
Like these guys, my friends, who do not know that they are my friends but are still my friends all the same. I am hoping there is another episode up right now, I’m a simple woman yes, under all that complexity, there is a giant lazy slob just raging to be the forefront projection of my various personas.
But NOOOOoooo we have to go out once in awhile like everybody else does (it’s winter, Minx’s hibernate too) so we watched it when we got back because I knew if we watched it first we would never leave. I avoid the couch all day long and the roof deck all summer long in order to maintain a semblance of productivity.
When I get skinny I like to pig out and then get depressed about it and then get skinny again by conjuring up massive giant clouds of stress and anxiety to scare the fat off my bones. It’s working for now but I’ve yo-yo’d before so I am being cautious. Never-ending daily battle all women on this earth are plagued by. Moving on now.
My jacket is back! Need to trim all fraying material at the pockets, looking a bit beaten.
Should have chosen to face the other way cos it quickly filled up behind me and there was all this action at the back of my head on top of a chick who recognized me but only once I put my hat on.
So happy to be reunited with good wings again. These are the dry pepper rub and lime with habanero on the side.
Four pork tacos, not bad, can add another one to make it an order of four for two people. Obvi we did that.
Capiriahanaaaaaaa.
Done.
Steak Frites. The truffle cream will blow you out of your seat.
Before that we worked on some comedy.
Ok I’m giving up now. Have a nice night Little Raymis. Xoxo.
Now here’s the second part to the Las Vegas style shit show we put together for the Android TO after party. Killed it.
Omg so scary and not even halloween yet!
Oh hey Paul. We are old friends. Once in awhile I bump in to him when we’re both on Nicolas Cage benders and it is funny.
Come come the more the merrier the less the scarier. One of my Raymisms. I have a lot. Michael Holett DM’d me and said, if you made up barflyentele, that is genius.
Ew gross not sexy. I look like a snausage. I bought those when I WAS a snausage actually, years ago. Never wore them. They’re so obvious.
So, once upon a time I had this idea for a burlesque troupe…
And you betcha there were haters but I kept at it and at it and that little division of my Raymi Circus is thrivin’, oh yes. I love all my girls.
I said to one group of boys that their flights had all been cancelled and they were permanently grounded, WITH ME. One licked his lips. Heh. I love being Raymi the Minx.
I wish I knew the thank you for getting high with us slogan as I’d have been saying that all night long. So much was going on I’m lucky I didn’t lose my hat.
I have really long arms.
What’s going on here what’s the big idea hey hey!
Impressive, though I might need a second look.
Not all of us are coming back.
Is that peach underwear?
Got tired of walking.
I wonder what they’re thinking, playing it cool while they feel my entire ass up.
Never fear Batman is here!
Yeah pretty much party stripper party awesome! Proud of it. Takes balls. I have them, do you? Two days later I leaned over the edge of the CN Tower. That’s Little Raymi #1 there.
Minx would look wicked on my arm in this right. Damnit.
I look like one of my childhood best friends when I show my brother and tell him he will die. Laughing. I was so retarded here I couldn’t figure out this was Alkarim.
And why I am saluting Hitler, ehhhh. I am actually waving What a power couple no?
Ha so confusing. Nice one Sean.
The other party room. Hot asian gamer chick.
We had a fake fight.
Pfft yeah.
Doin’ more of the thing.
This way no this way.
Bunny’s face should be on a toothpaste box so perfectly classic pleasantville apple pie right and I didn’t wash my hair what is it doing??? So puffy and stringy.
Aw I love him he always makes me laugh. Whether it be this or playing the keyboard with bubble wrap on his head stuffed in a Knight helmet.
Zaira’s big cans and ANDY MILONAKIS.
Gee I wonder which guys in this picture were on shrooms, the big mascot heads?
Do you think I was playing it cool enough?
Jazmin was their favourite.
I am talking all street here I think he bought it. Sean told him I was crazy though, thank you Sean! Holy smokes you should read some of the email chain between me and Sean over the last month planning this party ha ha.
Oh yeah some shit went down in the social media hood this night. It involves your hero. I don’t think that is what I am talking about here though despite my most amazing of facial expressions.
Thank you Celina for getting the roller lesbian punk babes together for this and fielding all that drama holy crap everywhere there be drama us burlesque misfits had some ourselves. Makes life exciting don’t it?
You know what’s sad and funny is, I actually look older than Andy Milonakis. I am going to go kill myself now kay thanks bye he’s 36!
Those sex costumes make your arms look humongous. And your face like Tara Reid. Enjoy! Some girl added me on FB who is a famous dominatrix and she has the same flight suit, weird right? That’s why she added me I think. I dunno, you never know when you are on the internet right? Scary place.
I am forcing him to kiss me here and he is playing funny guy. I think he thinks I was just trying to use him for his celebrity or something (totally was).
I can tell he liked it. Facebook liked it.
Then he started being nice and telling me stuff about crap that us performer guys talk about involving hotels and all that star treatment and Jazmin’s boobs probably.
OH how nice for me, a zit on game day!
And last one.
Everyone had costume changes it was the greatest thing. Loved curly ginger haired Harry Potter kid. That stage was bouncing and tunes were blasting I was blasted ahhh life.
Party shots! Hi Sean!
Anyone could get up in there and slam dance. Stephen did, that’s when we met I was drunk sitting on my luggage cross legged like a lady and he was piss wasted and some other little raymis were gathered and we fell in partying socialite love. Wicked dude! he goes, and I’m not even attracted to you, you’re not my type hahaha. More perfect. he’s the one I went to Thompson underground with and partied even dirtier with Pauly Shore.
Well wouldn’t ya know it’s all over.
xo
Don’t remember if I blogged these of Erica’s. I feel like I did.
i think so?
Deleted last night’s post. Liked the photos still.
Love Wills Landing. VIPLEASE treatment pleases meh.
Guys tell me why I am interesting please I have to make an audition video one where I’m not david Hasselhoffing and shoving chicken wings in my mouth.
Last night (this video footage/pics is from tonight), no phones, or photos, all IRL experience, way to do it. Defs going back for more for brunch. My sort of people.
That grey shirt is from Zellers if you can believe it.
This guy in libville forced us to let him take our picture then got annoyed at us for my phone taking so long to load, he offered, I was perfectly fine posing solo in front of this taken by paddy. He took a great shot to be honest so, it all worked out in the end.
My mom said she lost ten pounds at the fat camp. Can’t wait to see her and Lois!
I’m down to 120. Not even by trying either.
I love Liberty Village.
I didn’t realize clem had one of those sports cars everybody stares at, like the top ten douchey fancy cars you’d see in libville, it has the four rings, an audi? I dunno but everyone was staring and I liked it. They should market a platinum side hair clip for sports car passengers, oh wait they do, they’re called weaves.
Clem was playing hooky and a total enabler like me, paddy showed to drop off my nail polish (FINALLY OMFG!) and then it turned into a beach mission. Stella the dog had the best time ever and has been my loyal devoted shadow follower ever since. She gets in phases where I am a Greek Goddess and it’s pretty cute. I love winning.
At Lisa’s Friday night pre-drinks before the Silver Dollar. Dan Burke (promoter one-man legit toronto music scene institution) was mesmerized by my face but couldn’t place it, I’m a ghost from the past and my hair isn’t black anymore.
Who knew my earrings could be weapons, they’re cubes, sharp also positioned pointing outward all pointy.
When James hugged me goodbye (a serious hug!) he cut his flippin’ face on my right earring. Hardcore carnage!
A dark n stormy (lime dark rum and ginger beer).
These moments will get you through winter.
Aw look at Stella she is like what are you doing to meee? She made a new friend in Lenny. Maybe we can walk her to Clem’s one day and party on his deck for a change?
These are the crispy calamari I ate the other day, see how much I got them crisped. I’ll be back at the caddy within 48 hours now thanks to this photo.
I can’t believe we all fit in that thing. Princess always rides shotgun. You should see me in the front seat of a cab ordering the driver around like my husband ahahaha it’s hilarious. Omg try having a ride with Melodie and I we are horrible, horrible! I love it! Hope she’s having a good time in Montreal.
New fav band is NEW GHOST. Maybe we’ll do a burlesque showcase together, yeah? I love shows at Silver Dollar.
Bumped into Courtney up Ossington just as hung as we were, she was in search of bread. Fun!
Sorry for the cat hair but this was an essential part of yesterday. If I were a dude I’d hit metro on my way to work at least once a week and buy this. Teach ate the majority of it.
Ate at The Bellevue, this is the avocado frisee. Delicious. Tasted like a stuffed potato, but without the potato and with avocado instead. Perfs for the skinny dieters out there.
Must learn and master this diana F+ by tomorrow’s tiff party. Heidi help me load it!
I went for slob chic yesterday omg I just remembered there’s loads more cute pics of me on teacher’s phone arrrg.
I tried to get the Lakeview to do a fry-less poutine for me once and it flopped, the hot gravy on the lettuce brought out too much earthy essence from the leaves, ugh. Green beans work though! Thanks Bellevue, totally going to do this at home. Add mushroom too.
teach said this one long curly woody allen haired guy kept looking at us like we were “Somebody” or maybe it was because we were fighting? hahahaa.
See? I win.
I didn’t have time to dry my hair post-wash on Friday so I had funny hair all weekend long.
