Boy, time flies like an arrow fruit flies like a banana Hey-oh!
Hi ma. Nice seein’ ya last week I’ll be in the hood again today so holla at’cher girl.
Instagram stories crop your pic like so. Meh. Sorry for phoning it in, this is us Friday on our way up north.
Yesterday at my friend Tamara’s building. Love these colours.
On my travels last night. I like creepy things… empty, haunting spaces at night.
I’m a TTC convert now. Sucks when there’s delays now I get the pain of the city when shit shuts down. Hating myself moreso for allowing the uber addiction and fear of public transportation rule me and my bank account what a waste I am still paying for *swan dives off a cliff*.
Mad love for this work space.
I’d wager that the owner of this Porsche is a fun person.
Or they are colour blind.
Last weekend was beautiful weather more of that, yo!
Two things. First thing, this was terribly hilarious to me at the time and the second thing is I thought it would sell this side of the bed and be more appealing. We fight over not sleeping on the inside of the bed and it worked, well I won but the unicorn didn’t actually help.
The first day of fall is in 3 days, Sept 22 *swan dives off an even bigger cliff*.
Random street pose. Dena my work gal pal indulges this behaviour big time.
I am impressed that the food at the Rhino is not as shitty as I last recall and the service is slightly less offensively slow too. It’s not the Rhino unless you recognize at least 5 people on the patio or walking by, as I did.
Burrito bowl with pulled chicken and tons of basmati rice beneath it was very good and I was an in a state of emotional eating so I ate all of it. Next time I’d share. Sometimes there is no off button for my eating/consumption like some morbidly obese people are afflicted by. I try not to live to eat but eat to live but who am I kidding it’s the former for certain.
There was a fire drill last week so I went here to use the bathroom then bumped into some colleagues and it turned into the best fire drill ever. I was not enthused by it being the day after 9/11 being in a claustrophobic stairwell crammed with people holy jeez. I use those stairs all the time anyway instead of the elevator because I’m a hyper-hypo and also yeah PTSD I need to just flee and not rely on elevators personally, and there’s those types in a crowd who will go slow and fuck it up for the rest of us and then the fast ones who will carve out a path through the herd and guess which type I am.
Another pig out day. This is after we both had a shawarma. Saw a sign for 2 for 9.50 (a great deal!) and it was delicious so much so we stayed and ordered a plate I think I immediately passed out when we got home. Great success! This week I’m doing a healthier thing so shush it up buttercups.
Last Monday or was it Tuesday, was it a long weekend last weekend? Anyway, whatever day this was was so depressing and rainy I hated it. I had to go around town to get some shit done, didn’t realize the agency I was going to had moved. So I got to spend extra time in the rain and I chose this particular course because there was a florist shoppe nearby it was all supposed to pan out from the train station I chose to travel to blah blah I kept it cool but it’s funny all the horrible thoughts that can go through one’s mind when they’re walking in the city rain. It was worth stopping to take this cute pic.
If you’re going to give flowers get something that lasts.
I may or may not have added one of these to the orchids. I JUST CANT HELP IT I’M A JAPANESE GIRL TRAPPED UP IN HURRRR.
Toronto gardens are adorable. I love those limited space ones in L’il Italy or wherever that are jam packed with crazy shit!
If you wanna come by for some backgammon lemme know.
Delish bday drank with Dena. I feel like I got a lot out of summer but I also feel like it whizzed right on by too quickly.
Weird pose I don’t care I love this dress Dena needed to go stress shopping at Winners one day at lunch time and I’m the one who ended up spending more oh well worth it. I love this dress however there is a gigantic black stain on the back from grease or some oil. Sadness. I bet I’ll wear it around xmas time for sure.
Another Raymazing pose don’t care I felt hot this day so I am owning it.
Hi again. This is what happens when you blog once a month you have a collection of hoarded photos.
TTYL thanks for dropping in these super posts take hella long and I promise you won’t have to wait a month for the next one.
Hi “everyone”. Here is a “blog post” wrapping up the last couple weeks of my life because why not. I promised the second sexier half of The Darling Mansion feature buuuut my brain needs a break. A me break. A totally, totally ME blog post in-between first mmmkay. I do a lot. I don’t break it down enough. It piles up then consumes me whole goddamn you social media.
Here’s a wee sampler. It still kills me I lost so many photos from my old phone… you’d be surprised how quickly you fill up the card of a new one.
Okay so last week I went to the Drake two nights in a row which is a major social suicide faux pas but my client really likes this place and we had a totally ridiculous fun time so why not. I am getting an age complex so I am starting to feel like a ghost haunting all these haunts I’ve always haunted but now I guess I’m the same age as those I used to hang with when I was younger soooo shut up Lauren it’s okay. I’m not the only Toronto personality out there still givin’er a go so here is to the lot of us.
Drake dress one. Turning into a bit of a shift on me. Yeah yeah, sure sure.
Dress two. That was Friday I believe. My boots need to be shined and I need an insert cos they’re not level and I have no clue what happened other than probably Theater Bizarre walking around in them.
Pre-selfie to make sure I looked legit enough for my client supper. Dress up when you feel like hell and people can barely (never) tell they’re like wow you look so good all dressed up. Party girl tip. Except I have made more effort to dress up on a regular basis to maintain “a look” and overall peer acceptance. There’s a lot of fabulous looking and well dressed people in Toronto the stakes are mega-high you must always be fly.
I just remembered at least 4 other way more important blog posts I should be doing for Raymi Toronto right now instead of this ughhh hahha. Well at least I am blogging instead of Super Bowling. I have my phone lit up for different things I could be at today right now and I am doing a decent enough job at keeping the FOMO at bay.
Then squad goals showed up and I took them to every awful place I could (I’m so sorry!) okay we went to a lot of wins and we also went to a lot of don’ts too. I think I will use one bier markt situation in future stand-up for sure. I am building a set. Forever building a set I get crippling creative paralysis at times when the balance is tilted in the favour of doing practically everything else or other. I watched a fuck ton of movies yesterday that’s for sure.
We went for food at Rock Lobster for hot mess Sunday. I want to invent a hotel that’s check out hours are like 9PM come on bro baby needs to sleep this off.
Note the third (and new!) jar of cherries. That photoshoot takes place at the end of the week somewhere neat ;).
What’s the deal with American Cheese… well I wrote a whole bit around it but everyone said I talked about myself too much. It’s just really bad and really good bad. Good in the bad way. Possibly some irony too. Sometimes I’m just very, very basic. Because I am actually a total fruit loop. Not really Macaulay Culkin bizarre but pretty close.
Total win was at Gusto 101 pure delish. We had a blast catching up and shared a bottle of red which helped with absolute cold asf saunter back to hotel Germain. Snotty little bitches bruv tgif can’t believe was just a week ago boy the time goes.
IG caption: Did you bring enough makeup Lizzy? She’s like OH I just noticed that [how much makeup there was] LOL. I think Hotel Germain retweeted this photo they def called us gorgeous ladies – one and the same haha. They gave me good soshe media surrounding our stay there that’s a niiice.
Donair meat egg cheese breakfast thing on a bun. mmmm. Lizzy had lobster turns out that place IS a legit seafood restaurant and it’s not just an ironic name lol. Whagwan Darryl.
Another “on fleek” look at Swan Dive maybe. I am in the business of complimenting and being complimented.
Tony took this. Rebecca and her pot and my rake and then we made up a dance and I banged the pot like a drum and we are very immature at Swan Dive it is the best time it’s my job to have fun and bang the gong.
Bought three dresses at wieners around the holidays FOR the holidays and I wear them all the time on rotate it’s fun to make looks for Swan Dive you’re like a moving piece of art I almost wore my red gothic riding hood jacket with the red lace dress on Friday but felt it was crazy overload. Rob encouraged it. Which made me hella suspicious.
The 9th floor is where you get ice and they neglected to tell us that which we found to be funny as fcuk.
Love exploring hotels right? Eloise and The Shining complex for life. We went up to the roof for a lookeroonie this is the hotel where the ding dongs stayed when we first met and hung out #memories.
This is my friend Heather and I. More on that later!
Me on Friday. Also taken by Tony I love our in-house Swan Dive photographer. We are blessed. He helped build the bar too. Swan Dive has quickly become a go-to. I work there 9PM on Mondays til close and I open on Fridays as well til 9PM (except for this Friday and NEXT Monday I’ll be in on the Tuesday though instead etc I will keep you in the loop).
Stayed in (a coma) all week then by Thursday was restless plus we knew of this party that we had to go to (should go to) and were happy too then danced ass off at Two Cats with Shanny afterward you’ll see further down this post. It was a big two weeks for sure. And this is only the shit I am showing you not those “lost parts” that go in the vault and didn’t happen what who is talking?
Bunny love. You can see my Fryes and John Lennon bag in the background. The thing started to hump my leg and I was like NOPE BYE.
Some of this food we took to go and I forgot about the part of the night when we were at Weslodge as we made our way back to the hotel. Quite an indulgent weekend and life here for a good time bro.
I had to wear this hat cos my hair was super ratchet when times get tough the tough get creative. By tough I mean too lazy to shower and didn’t plan to go out til like an hour before we went it was go time! I am going to bring so much clothes to Swan Dive for the clothing swap/sale Abra puts together I will also let you know so if you have been eyeing some of my stuff I’ll post what I am parting with. I might have to wear this tomorrow at balleeeeeeeet.
Love this photo of Tanya and I <3. The D Mansion is the tits.
Legendary night I met Courtney I can’t even remember how I got into that rooftop night club on Queen. It’s all in my archives.
Oh Shanny. When we were dancing at Two Cats a guy commented that we were like the two MAD Spy vs. Spy characters in our black and white outfits. VERY astute observation there King west guy. That place is fun. Gong show vortex. We SAW THINGS too politically incorrect to mention heehh.
Thank God for this.
Cirque du soleil is my new outfit inspiration. Suitesoleil was my first hotmail address. Fact. That was during my I am french phase. I was 14?
Woah relax selfie.
Well here we go.
Two cats is on our way home so, why not.
My night vision blows thank goodness for this flashlight I am considering a headlamp. I bet you some joker will bring me one now.
I quite enjoy all my new friends, custies, and regulars. I am social plus booze makes for good talking and times and people with beards and toques that sort of thing. Lots of laugh out loud moments.
We walked to Motel from Swan Dive. I had no hat or pants so to keep warm we loudly talked the whole way there hahaa. Claire and I are the ame age-ish.
When I lived on Dowling I used to go to Motel a lot. I love theme bars. I got stories guy. Maybe now that I am reliving a prior Bukowski phase I can write about that time period again. Interesting.
Reminds me of my Stephen King book consumption phase, derelict scary ghost towns where weird shit goes down wow what a creative mind.
More booze more selfies. Love my ratchet nails kinda works.
That bunny art though.
Had to put him in the friend zone. With all the rest. Heheh.
Great style all around.
Heather and I went to kind of an awful apartment and had the most hilarious experience EVER ever ahahahha. This was on the wall. Our cab driver goes, this building? Oh yes! Bed bugs! What? Bahah.
I dig the stairway to nowhere though and the water fountain and music jamming away ???
Then we walked to Parkdale for a bite.
Never ever a dull moment anywhere in Parkdale. Could not run away fast enough lol.
Then she drank a bottle of red by herself (none for me sober day dude way too necessary) and hoofed it home to do her stuff and things and that’s that for today my friends check you on the flip side! I am the only person not watching the superbowl I think.
Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name & they’re always glad you came!
Super Moon. Okay we get it.
Same cycles, same moods, same outfits, same tudes.
At one point Salvador Darling was not packed and then instantly it was slammed. Had I gone out in my harajuku fleece I’d have vommed all over myself from the heat. Thank god for the teeny window in our VIPLEASE (heheh) booth Darius cranked open.
Cool setting HEY we instagrammed it ghetto digital camera style. Hi Jenna!!
I can fold this shirt up in to a teeny tiny square and jam it in my purse, which is what I did, several times. It’s hot, I’m cold, and so on.
Working my way up to smiling.
Greased up my hair a lot with moroccan oil the night before (way too much thanks REBECCA) so it looked a bit like that, I didn’t want it to be dried out from the hair dye, I only left it on for fifteen minutes they say that in dye boxes to grey haired chicks and blonds, the platinum was just waiting ready and willing to absorb the colour instantly. I feel like blond never even happened I am so accustom to seeing myself dark. This will grow interestingly. Raymi is transforming! I’m also whitening my teeth with guards for 7 days for 30 minutes (that’s what the directions say) AND now my skin is major tanned from the sunny w/e, it’s gonna be a sweet new look and life this summer.
It was Derek’s house warming party but by the time I left the house (I was this close to staying in very tired) it had moved to the bar it wasn’t even eleven yet and they had already peaced out cos Derek was licked. Easier for me than cabbing so we all just met there yay fun plan.
Jonathan was a piece of shit all night long. You know you were. Here are your top ten hits: Calling me a vain bitch, braggarting about being a doctor, telling me I never used the word vortex before condescendingly, snapping at me for interrupting you to deliver a message from Darius across the table being a double bonus diss as the message was juicy and to your benefit. Other than that super neat love and hatey kinda dude, can say I definitely relate. Couple other dumb things too but that’s private so can’t wait to see you again.
All the Pdale boys club crew were out and in full effect. Rob showed up later. Derek did not make it out too bad.
Saw on twitter that Darius is 32 now what I met you when you were 30.
Oh hi. Cool scarf bro wrap it again. This almost made the blog post title cut.
This is what my reaction to being called a vain bitch by a twitty little man looks like. Gloves were off at that point. I am fascinated by rude people, their audacity and nerve. We also enjoyed watching him strike out with other women, cool approach bro. When people turn when they party or turn on you, It’s belligeration town population them. He was quite lovely the first time I met him at Darius’ then remembered who I was what the hair change, bah who cares I’m not even mad you’re just getting a sobriety lesson hall of fame featurette the next day. Jenna said she told him she was going to punch him in the balls multiple times too so there you go haha.
The family camera was being funny so I didn’t get him dancing on there in time. The tunes were great motown classics of all sorts, some mod, everything, very fun dance times. I have the idea for a tumblr or art bar fly project called sittinginonespot.com (which is available I just checked) of sitting in a booth all night long and the people are the only things moving in the bar all night long and you just party sitting in one spot then you film this in every bar club restaurant and have hundreds of them on your website showing the events of an entire night happening cray all around you okay you get it now right? There. Have fun.
SUPER MOON IS FOLLOWING ME. Thanks to the Super moon it was the first time I ever knew there was a window in that corner.
Noticing red everywhere now. You only pay attention to shit when it pertains to you.
Nice setting. But even blurry you can distinctly tell that I DO indeed “have a torso” whiner little Raymi hater just won’t go away. I love you too!
Almost there so close.
This is also a fat day. Well, I ate all day and I am still pretty sleek. You’re so gross about women’s bodies, it’s sad and I do not believe you even have a real life friend with that f-ing attitude of yours.
Turn the heat down, I saw it at 76 ahhh O_O. Hi Tanya!
Open that shit!
I like that we can stare at all the bar patrons from the darkness of the back corner and see them comb the blackness trying to see our faces back.
We played musical booth chairs all night and effectively shunned anyone else for deigning to join us or put their jackets on our spot. Every regular seen here and in other shots have lost a jacket to SD so don’t feel so bad Jules. I am just wiping my brow with relief I got mine back and now I will only go there dressed in garbage in case I lose it. Hahha. I just brought a grey AA hoodie.
Pretty much, right? Nipples NSFW loophole.
I drink a lot of water when I jammer jam cos I am smart.
To be fair he is recently single and just came back from Scotland I guess. The ex seemed a bit, angry? Greener pastures bro we got you!
But next time I will totally push you in to a garbage can okay?
What is your favourite thing happening here? That epic hug or the girl’s face?
Hi Dave! Hi Lela!
Can’t wait to wash my hair today.
Team Yay Cray > Parkdale Boys Club. I am still the founding father president and member of the PBC BTW.
We were very nice hostesses, some of the guys thought it was MY apartment oh brother ahahaha point received.
There’s the man. He was delayed hanging with Derek, maybe tucking him in to bed.
Rob big brothers me. He was shocked and awed by beasties memorization cos I’m so wee. That’s nice if people see me as a little kid I think, I’ll take that!
Requisite girl blob shot.
Nice treasure trail Rob! No really, girls like that!
These are all dance moves. Nice laser beam head Darius.
Dance face! Busted me!
Second male team yay cray inductee.
Tubular! Omg remember what happened to Rob’s scarf ahahahha agh. Great times.
I’m going to dig the wax out with a knife after I hit publish.
This shirt is getting worn. Bought it in thunder Bay from that hippie store while we killed time for our flight.
Love my polish and birds.
Doing toenails yellow later sometime. Okay that’s a wrap. I’ll post Friday night’s BS later on. Cray o lay o lay o lay O LAY! Happy ME Monday.
That grey shirt is from Zellers if you can believe it.
This guy in libville forced us to let him take our picture then got annoyed at us for my phone taking so long to load, he offered, I was perfectly fine posing solo in front of this taken by paddy. He took a great shot to be honest so, it all worked out in the end.
My mom said she lost ten pounds at the fat camp. Can’t wait to see her and Lois!
I’m down to 120. Not even by trying either.
I love Liberty Village.
I didn’t realize clem had one of those sports cars everybody stares at, like the top ten douchey fancy cars you’d see in libville, it has the four rings, an audi? I dunno but everyone was staring and I liked it. They should market a platinum side hair clip for sports car passengers, oh wait they do, they’re called weaves.
Clem was playing hooky and a total enabler like me, paddy showed to drop off my nail polish (FINALLY OMFG!) and then it turned into a beach mission. Stella the dog had the best time ever and has been my loyal devoted shadow follower ever since. She gets in phases where I am a Greek Goddess and it’s pretty cute. I love winning.
At Lisa’s Friday night pre-drinks before the Silver Dollar. Dan Burke (promoter one-man legit toronto music scene institution) was mesmerized by my face but couldn’t place it, I’m a ghost from the past and my hair isn’t black anymore.
Who knew my earrings could be weapons, they’re cubes, sharp also positioned pointing outward all pointy.
When James hugged me goodbye (a serious hug!) he cut his flippin’ face on my right earring. Hardcore carnage!
A dark n stormy (lime dark rum and ginger beer).
These moments will get you through winter.
Aw look at Stella she is like what are you doing to meee? She made a new friend in Lenny. Maybe we can walk her to Clem’s one day and party on his deck for a change?
These are the crispy calamari I ate the other day, see how much I got them crisped. I’ll be back at the caddy within 48 hours now thanks to this photo.
I can’t believe we all fit in that thing. Princess always rides shotgun. You should see me in the front seat of a cab ordering the driver around like my husband ahahaha it’s hilarious. Omg try having a ride with Melodie and I we are horrible, horrible! I love it! Hope she’s having a good time in Montreal.
New fav band is NEW GHOST. Maybe we’ll do a burlesque showcase together, yeah? I love shows at Silver Dollar.
Bumped into Courtney up Ossington just as hung as we were, she was in search of bread. Fun!
Sorry for the cat hair but this was an essential part of yesterday. If I were a dude I’d hit metro on my way to work at least once a week and buy this. Teach ate the majority of it.
Ate at The Bellevue, this is the avocado frisee. Delicious. Tasted like a stuffed potato, but without the potato and with avocado instead. Perfs for the skinny dieters out there.
Must learn and master this diana F+ by tomorrow’s tiff party. Heidi help me load it!
I went for slob chic yesterday omg I just remembered there’s loads more cute pics of me on teacher’s phone arrrg.
I tried to get the Lakeview to do a fry-less poutine for me once and it flopped, the hot gravy on the lettuce brought out too much earthy essence from the leaves, ugh. Green beans work though! Thanks Bellevue, totally going to do this at home. Add mushroom too.
teach said this one long curly woody allen haired guy kept looking at us like we were “Somebody” or maybe it was because we were fighting? hahahaa.
See? I win.
I didn’t have time to dry my hair post-wash on Friday so I had funny hair all weekend long.