oh my gauche

Oh me oh my, hello there little ding dongs of the world are you happy? Are you sad? Do you want to talk about it? You know I’m always here right, like, always. Like fifteen years always. You get that by now though, right?

Okay lets look at a bunch of pictures of me and stuff pertaining also, to me until I run out of gas and need to check out gawker or make dinner or something (I wrote this last night obviously then gave up). Oh thank goodness I just remembered my champagne was in the freezer before the bottle exploded, phewf.

Hi it’s Friday now. I have been struggling to blog all morning. Since ten. I think I might try ADD medication. A friend I know takes it and she is super productive and organized so like, get me some of that. The less you blog, or write, the more you think and the more you think, the crazier you become. The more you do and the less balance there is just makes everything seem like a mess. To me it’s organized chaos. I don’t owe anyone anything. I don’t have to explain all of the time. Blog, essentially. Although I feel guilty about it. About not being a writer when I’m a writer. I’m in that creative lull. I’m being creative elsewhere. My TO DO list overwhelms me.

What I’m trying to say is, when I was in Detroit smoking in the window looking at the brick building next door, listening to the wind blowing the trees, to my music, to the sounds of the sign factory workers and the pang felt from the noise of passing trains, the haunt of the locomotive whistle and my impending departure.

I just want to write more about those moments, the minutiae. Honour all of it. I don’t want to be a tortured writer anymore who is like, “I am writing a book.” I don’t even know what I want. I know I want to live in LA, waste a month on a beach in Bali, basically do nothing and everything for my entire life and be terribly dramatic! I think a lot of creatives feel like they are never creating enough. The ideas we have far outweigh completing them unless you are Warhol. I need more bodies.

I am happy to be in a space where I can genuinely, safely, wholeheartedly say that I do not give one iota of a fuck anymore. About who I am. Making excuses for it. Worrying about the outcomes of things. It’s pretty obvious that my life is “moving on”. So much change this summer. I’m not afraid of saying “yes” anymore. I am proactive. I am blazing trails and I do not answer to anybody. If someone disagrees with the “edgy” I go ahead and do it anyway and receive the response I knew that I would. For someone who has always made waves why so surprised when I continue to do so?

Detroit is the new black existed for awhile. Was copied. I saw a Toronto vs Everybody shirt yesterday in liberty village on some guy. Also stolen from Detroit’s label Detroit vs everybody. Safe to say Detroit is hot right now. Taking the train to Windsor then driving over the border is so super easy. Quicker than to NYC. You can’t not flood Detroit now, knowing this.

I was glad to get a break from the train though. At least for one way. The Detroit ding dongs came in to hang while I bartended The Old Laurel then we drove the next day. I do like to eat and drink and be waited on while I travel though. FYI working at The Old Laurel tonight. Read between the lines, you do not want to miss out.

Jesus. As big as my head. We hit Taco Bell a few stops later HAHA.

Samy and I. No idea how to spell it but it 100% rhymes with Raymi. He is awesome. Our door guy. Can’t wait to see what he is wearing tonight.

This is a medley post. A blend. It’s like awesome wine and crappy wine. Got my hair did finally to the collective sighs of relief from every single hair stylist who ever looks at me. You’re mean and catty and you do not at all hurt my feelings. You benefit from the fruits of my labours of growing that ratty ass shit out like a weed. Mi gone mi dun with you. Joking. See you next week.

There will always be that skidly jokey tomboy side to me. Always. It’s the time of transgender so yeah. #justifications #always.

Then I do this look.

I am getting sick of talking about myself right now, believe it or not. Why do I have to write my own fan club copy this is bullshit. Speaking of how hilarious I am, I am building a stand-up set in my dreams. Maybe I should do it in Detroit! Yep I’m gunna. Make goals then destroy them.

This was treated to look more messed up than I was. But yeah we definitely gaver the night before not gonna lie. People on ello were like, Get well soon. LOLLLLLLL

Speaking of ELLO! If you’re ever in a bind jonesing for something to do, check out my ello! https://ello.co/raymitheminx/ I’m almost at 8k followers so I think I know what I am doing over there.

We are going to do another video for Konqistador‘s new song. I have to be darker in it. Less Planter’s peanut mascot. I was just doodling around and apparently “not listening” “to direction”. We still got something good tho bro. They’re big in Istanbul. You what that means? I am big in Istanbul. (My future fantasies tell me so).

That’s Jim Diamond’s diamond. I met him. He’s a producer. He did the White Stripes first two albums. That’s amazing! I saw the WS when I was 19 at the Warehouse. I don’t think it was Koolhaus yet. I just moved to Toronto. It was the first time I rode my bike from Little Italy down there to the venue. Great times.

I love playing dress-up and have been searching for people like these two my entire life to collaborate with I don’t know why this didn’t happen sooner but it is so happening.

Lizzy did great makeup. I could pull an all nighter and she would make me look like Cinderella. Oh wait I did pull an all nighter. I looked like Cinderhella. Compromise. Correct.

The night we got into town we went to Doc’s for drinks and watched a flick. I have never met anyone as passionate about the movie The Professional as myself before and we talked for an hour about it rewinding scenes over and over again and had a photoshoot or two. Drank Absinthe. It was killer. I forgot about my penchant for marionette puppetry. Doc’s place is a wonderland of eccentricities, studio props, outfits. He has a lot of candy. Mini donuts. Sour candies. Ate so much garbage on Saturday it was great and out of control.

Totally.

The next night we did this.

They’re putting in streetcars. I was like, why?? Cool I guess. Because there is no public transportation in Detroit.

Slowly accepting fall. Don’t even get me started on the ding dong standing next to me here.

We strolled to Whole Foods to get Champagne after brunch, Lizzy and I. It was a nice day.

We posed our way there.

Sometimes I get an LL Cool J complex. Yes he is kinda cheesy. But sexy. Just please ignore what I am saying from this part forward thank you.

All joking aside, vegan restaurants have killer food. Plus champagne. Amazing patio and people to watch. Dreamy. That’s a pesto pizza sandwich. The other plate i just poured directly into my mouth.

I killed two wasps. The first death was a loud slam bam on the table and this cute girl goes, did you get it when I looked at her and I felt like such a boss. My fav person on the patio was this Tim Burtonesque goth chick in the corner she was totally goths at the beach. Best. Do not ever think that I am a hater. I am a lover and an appreciator. Amen sistah. I also liked when the kitchen guy came out and gave the wasp girl a potato that he wrote YOU SUCK on and she goes are you serious, “you suck?” Happy as hell. Vegans! Am I right??

Embracing bit of my excellent high shoes lately. Tall like a giraffe or a gazelle.

I feel like Austin when I wear this top hat. Heart him. #BB174EVR.

It’s his Judas hat. He has a degree in romantic..something, plus he’s a wrestler covered in a tattoo that is essentially just tree roots on acid are you kidding me!!!? I’d climb him like a tree.

Now that the show is over I have to get a life.

Reggie photoshopped all that graffiti on. This is actually taken in their spotlessly clean bathroom. I should show this to Jenny Mccarthy.

Another cowgirl one. There’s a lot of material to work with/share.

I’m an Aries. Aries is a Ram. Did you know that? I am not an astrology headcase so don’t get me going.

Adios! T G I F.

Remind me to tell you about this place. It’s called Northern Lights Lounge. Diana Ross did her makeup in the bathroom there. I have more pics. Til next time.

Ready For TIFF With A Spray Tan at Urbansun Tanning Salon

This is me showing off my skin and the small suntan I’ve earned naturally this summer.  Now what you’re about to see is something unnatural, but awesome.  Come with me to Urbansun Tanning Salon in Scarborough (2555 Victoria Park Toronto) and watch me get my glow on for #HangLooseACTRA TIFF party tonight. I’m interviewing A-listers and hope to be a few degrees darker brown than the red carpet.

Off I go now!

Checking in at the front desk. I love leaving my mark in fashion and beauty salons all over the city.

I like this video. Love it. I do the robot. You see me squish lotion through my toes. I am “on point” with delivering some lines. It’s worth the 3:29 of your time. You almost see me naked? Am I selling this enough yet? Shameless beauty.

 

spray tan time


Getting into the Tan booth.

 

IMG_0981

Lubing up your feet is imperative as you do not want to come out of there with Flintstones feet (whatever I mean by that!) and your toenails and fingernails and entire hands need to be totally covered as well. Trust.

Urbansun Tanning Salon

Noted. Squish the Urbansun together always and you will remember the name. :).

I had a tour of the facilities. Futuristic! I matched too.

Rob was hoping I would teleport to another dimension. Me too buddy.  Being cooped up inside the Starship Sun Capsule 220 Ultra VHR / HP was strangely relaxing, meditative, and I grew contemplative. I had a great idea for my next business card – so grateful to have remembered it just now.  When I post the results of what I dreamed up in there I will link back to this post as the source of the inspiration. You know I bet that happens all the time; people get great ideas when they’re in the Starship!

The science experiment continues. I just stepped out of a cookie making factory. This is right before you take your clothes off and shut the door and push the start button at your own leisure.  Actually there’s a strange disembodied voice talking to you, prompting every move.  So glad I watched the tutorial video that she played when we were out front – it was helpful. Once you press the button the machine fires up and for six seconds you are sprayed on the front. You rock your body and sway along with it, then hop to the other side turn around and your back is done.  Same thing, rocking with your arms at 90 degrees, doing the robot. It’s pretty straight forward. So simple it was hard and I asked a million questions.

Follow Urban Sun on Twitter @UrbansunToronto, and find Urbansun on Facebook, the Eglinton location

Then when it was all said and done. Look on my twitter feed tonight for a photo of the finished result tonight in my red carpet look. Exciting!

Studio District Film Party tomo night!

Lots of buzz about the (invite only) Studio District Film Party happening Sept 15th (tomorrow!) that Hang Loose Media is putting on. I’ll be on the red carpet at 8pm interviewing Beeba Boys or maybe the director of this Tiff hit film herself, Deepa Mehta. Pinch me. Watch the trailer now!

Here is what BlogTo said about the party,

“This invite-only party, hosted by ACTRA Toronto and HangLoose Media, will bring guests and press to Toronto’s studio district for a night of entertainment. What’s on tap? Aerialists pouring champagne from above the crowd, a live orchestra, DJ, and more. ”

And then Raymi says,

The #ActraGetsLoose party will have a variety of spectacular highlights from champagne, aerialists, actors galore, FAMOUS actors galore, food, cameras, ME, lie orchestra, SheDoesTheCity, epic sponsors and swag bags. Plus, I don’t know really cos I’m kind of a tiff-virgin – we can talk about that later lol but I have the inside press release scoop and I don’t (can’t) want to spoil anymore surprisesso xoxox yo! Off to get my attire sorted!

just watch the show

As promised here’s some more from the bubble of Detroit. All shots by destroyxbeauty.

You know, I looked around and I didn’t see or hear any gun shots. or Eminem. It was all pretty bright and peachy there. In the past two years gentrification had its way with the Motor City. Yes, I do know things about stuff so put your socks back on after they just got blown off there.

Follow this link bro and read all about this mural cos I ain’t got time to talk about it.

People were honking. Watching Lizzy shoot Reggie shoot me felt pretty awesome. It was boiling though. Sweltering. I love that humidity only in that when it’s gone it’s gone for long. As unbearable as it is I love it. Even while my makeup is trying to separate from my face I am chuckling and like ooooh you dirty rascal, you got me. The weather blows today of course.

I’m the mayor meow guys. The princess of white castle WHICH we didn’t get around to go to but I meant it when I said it. tsk.

sorry for the segue but I just discovered this Ciara song I coulda been grooving to all summer.

Yass kween.

I was all like, just take me now cars. I’m a badass like that. Then I ran like hell out of there cos I didn’t want to die. Reggie said I was a wimp. I like my perfect shadow here.

Ps. that’s Lizzy on Labour Day. I tried to copy her but couldn’t cling on to the branch and put my head upside down like her without falling on my head so she totally wins this picture.

Pro shot! I am hitchhiking here ah duhhhhhhhhhh.

Channeling coolest fucking person in the universe here.

Oh yeah take that inner arm scoop line and this abandoned pawn shop too.

I’m going back pretty soon too. Why not right? Bath time excellent more tales from the big D in another installment, enjoy your Saturdaze.

Mangily yours, xox

Blushing Crushing in Detroit pt I

Hey tiger. I always wanted an industrialized portrait like a teen runaway model, such as this. Boy I have a way with words. I am trying to “give more” here okay please, will you just!

I love collaborating with these two. We have another project on the go after this and I won’t spoil it so don’t ask. Okay it’s a video. But that’s all you get so quit asking.

Two words: these shoes. Great wardrobe costuming Lizzy. I lucked out eh.

Sorry this post is a day late but who’s the boss here? I am.

“Samantha!!!!” (Can actually do Tony’s voice perfectly, ask me if you see me IRL).

How about this top hat right? How about seeing someone wearing it riding around their apartment on their bicycle? We went down the rabbit hole madhatter perhaps? Oh, artists. Am I right? I am. I always am.

The majority and basically only work Reggie did to altering or cleaning up these photos was just covering up my bruises. I crashed my bike before I went to Detroit. I was coasting on one peddle then decided to hit the brakes for some awful reason and toppled over but don’t worry, 20 people on the starbucks patio in liberty village saw it. I have never seen my facebook crowd so happy to hear this news before. So anyway these are my flawless Mariah Carey shiny legs. Thanks Reg.

When we pulled up to the Fisher body plant I spied this tire so after the shoot up on the roof during sunset and beyond I was like, “I am so funny. I am going to push this tire down the street.” So I did. Then Reggie made me get on it and I was not into it because I’ve rolled an ankle before and it is NOT fun. I got over being a wimp and we did some tire pedestal magic.

Now with hat. I watched Straight Outta Compton the night prior, so.. I might be Ice Cube now.

Sick opening track (one of).

You bet my hands were dirty after that.

Couldn’t resist. Sometimes it is true. But I think I am so addicted to my facebook feed and snooping on the lives of others that I actually LOVE people. We can talk about this later.

Not to expose the trick but when you shoot from below you get to look way taller.

Prepare yourselves for a racy one meow….

Trying to make some pot of gold leprechaun joke here.

Lizzy likes this one.

No lying but am I entering my Mariah Carey phase? Naw. It’s my Amy Schumer phase. Bitch I’m hilar. She gets away with what I have been doing for years and trying to get away with but never did. Well guess what? It’s “mah tahm now.”

I could have gotten my hair profesh done but I was too bagged my last day to get it together and go. Regretsy. Looks neat here tho. I am Aslan of Narnia.

Getting a little stretch in there. As we age it’s important to stay limber. See how I be rockin’ the big D hat? I grabbed it as a last second thing and glad I did.

Okay um we’re almost done for now. Saving all the rest for another post I don’t want to overwhelm y’all too much.

See you tomorrow with part two of Detroit. xo rlw (missed you).

It’s so hard to stop posting pics lol. I have a ton on my camera from brunch at the Whitney. Beautiful times.

I will not dispute the above charges on my person. okay x-oh for real tho!

she’s like a raymbo

So, my new muses Hawkhaus blew through town from Detroit and we had a wicked time collaborating together Saturday at The Hotel Germain. There will be future stuff too. You’ll see. I see the landscape of my future and it is dotted with a LOT TO DO. Muchos overwhelming. All good things though. If not now when right?

I started making art again. Part of it feels like a dare but commission requests have started coming in so there you go.

The Reclamation Project from hawkhaus on Vimeo.

We are going to make video magic also.

I did not wash my hair this day. Can ya tell!?! haha.

Lizzy and Reggie are also in a band called Konqistador which is a big deal or something but I don’t pay attention to stuff like that. I’ve dated fat cats and been extemely oblivious to their level of fame. Blows their minds wish you could see it.

L told me R read The Satanic Bible and it helped him. A fan put this on stage at one of their gigs. I am trying to think of something I gave them other than a headache. Ha.

Lizzy gave me one of her bodysuits for the road. Sweetheart.

I was Willow Smithing here.

My arse looks mega juicy here yowzers.

It’s about time I did some of this. Coupled by that. Thanks guys!

Took a ton of pictures yesterday as well. More to come when I have time.

If you are attention starved ride a bike in a bodysuit like this. Take your pants off down by the water too. Go for it!

The food was mighty tasty at School. We were misbehaved students a little.

It was a fabulous fun-filled time and anybody witnessing it from a neighbouring balcony was a lucky guy. I liked underwear party that I saw at one point over yonder of a guy and a girl totally ignoring us right back. Go Saturdaze.