oh my gauche

Oh me oh my, hello there little ding dongs of the world are you happy? Are you sad? Do you want to talk about it? You know I’m always here right, like, always. Like fifteen years always. You get that by now though, right?

Okay lets look at a bunch of pictures of me and stuff pertaining also, to me until I run out of gas and need to check out gawker or make dinner or something (I wrote this last night obviously then gave up). Oh thank goodness I just remembered my champagne was in the freezer before the bottle exploded, phewf.

Hi it’s Friday now. I have been struggling to blog all morning. Since ten. I think I might try ADD medication. A friend I know takes it and she is super productive and organized so like, get me some of that. The less you blog, or write, the more you think and the more you think, the crazier you become. The more you do and the less balance there is just makes everything seem like a mess. To me it’s organized chaos. I don’t owe anyone anything. I don’t have to explain all of the time. Blog, essentially. Although I feel guilty about it. About not being a writer when I’m a writer. I’m in that creative lull. I’m being creative elsewhere. My TO DO list overwhelms me.

What I’m trying to say is, when I was in Detroit smoking in the window looking at the brick building next door, listening to the wind blowing the trees, to my music, to the sounds of the sign factory workers and the pang felt from the noise of passing trains, the haunt of the locomotive whistle and my impending departure.

I just want to write more about those moments, the minutiae. Honour all of it. I don’t want to be a tortured writer anymore who is like, “I am writing a book.” I don’t even know what I want. I know I want to live in LA, waste a month on a beach in Bali, basically do nothing and everything for my entire life and be terribly dramatic! I think a lot of creatives feel like they are never creating enough. The ideas we have far outweigh completing them unless you are Warhol. I need more bodies.

I am happy to be in a space where I can genuinely, safely, wholeheartedly say that I do not give one iota of a fuck anymore. About who I am. Making excuses for it. Worrying about the outcomes of things. It’s pretty obvious that my life is “moving on”. So much change this summer. I’m not afraid of saying “yes” anymore. I am proactive. I am blazing trails and I do not answer to anybody. If someone disagrees with the “edgy” I go ahead and do it anyway and receive the response I knew that I would. For someone who has always made waves why so surprised when I continue to do so?

Detroit is the new black existed for awhile. Was copied. I saw a Toronto vs Everybody shirt yesterday in liberty village on some guy. Also stolen from Detroit’s label Detroit vs everybody. Safe to say Detroit is hot right now. Taking the train to Windsor then driving over the border is so super easy. Quicker than to NYC. You can’t not flood Detroit now, knowing this.

I was glad to get a break from the train though. At least for one way. The Detroit ding dongs came in to hang while I bartended The Old Laurel then we drove the next day. I do like to eat and drink and be waited on while I travel though. FYI working at The Old Laurel tonight. Read between the lines, you do not want to miss out.

Jesus. As big as my head. We hit Taco Bell a few stops later HAHA.

Samy and I. No idea how to spell it but it 100% rhymes with Raymi. He is awesome. Our door guy. Can’t wait to see what he is wearing tonight.

This is a medley post. A blend. It’s like awesome wine and crappy wine. Got my hair did finally to the collective sighs of relief from every single hair stylist who ever looks at me. You’re mean and catty and you do not at all hurt my feelings. You benefit from the fruits of my labours of growing that ratty ass shit out like a weed. Mi gone mi dun with you. Joking. See you next week.

There will always be that skidly jokey tomboy side to me. Always. It’s the time of transgender so yeah. #justifications #always.

Then I do this look.

I am getting sick of talking about myself right now, believe it or not. Why do I have to write my own fan club copy this is bullshit. Speaking of how hilarious I am, I am building a stand-up set in my dreams. Maybe I should do it in Detroit! Yep I’m gunna. Make goals then destroy them.

This was treated to look more messed up than I was. But yeah we definitely gaver the night before not gonna lie. People on ello were like, Get well soon. LOLLLLLLL

Speaking of ELLO! If you’re ever in a bind jonesing for something to do, check out my ello! https://ello.co/raymitheminx/ I’m almost at 8k followers so I think I know what I am doing over there.

We are going to do another video for Konqistador‘s new song. I have to be darker in it. Less Planter’s peanut mascot. I was just doodling around and apparently “not listening” “to direction”. We still got something good tho bro. They’re big in Istanbul. You what that means? I am big in Istanbul. (My future fantasies tell me so).

That’s Jim Diamond’s diamond. I met him. He’s a producer. He did the White Stripes first two albums. That’s amazing! I saw the WS when I was 19 at the Warehouse. I don’t think it was Koolhaus yet. I just moved to Toronto. It was the first time I rode my bike from Little Italy down there to the venue. Great times.

I love playing dress-up and have been searching for people like these two my entire life to collaborate with I don’t know why this didn’t happen sooner but it is so happening.

Lizzy did great makeup. I could pull an all nighter and she would make me look like Cinderella. Oh wait I did pull an all nighter. I looked like Cinderhella. Compromise. Correct.

The night we got into town we went to Doc’s for drinks and watched a flick. I have never met anyone as passionate about the movie The Professional as myself before and we talked for an hour about it rewinding scenes over and over again and had a photoshoot or two. Drank Absinthe. It was killer. I forgot about my penchant for marionette puppetry. Doc’s place is a wonderland of eccentricities, studio props, outfits. He has a lot of candy. Mini donuts. Sour candies. Ate so much garbage on Saturday it was great and out of control.


The next night we did this.

They’re putting in streetcars. I was like, why?? Cool I guess. Because there is no public transportation in Detroit.

Slowly accepting fall. Don’t even get me started on the ding dong standing next to me here.

We strolled to Whole Foods to get Champagne after brunch, Lizzy and I. It was a nice day.

We posed our way there.

Sometimes I get an LL Cool J complex. Yes he is kinda cheesy. But sexy. Just please ignore what I am saying from this part forward thank you.

All joking aside, vegan restaurants have killer food. Plus champagne. Amazing patio and people to watch. Dreamy. That’s a pesto pizza sandwich. The other plate i just poured directly into my mouth.

I killed two wasps. The first death was a loud slam bam on the table and this cute girl goes, did you get it when I looked at her and I felt like such a boss. My fav person on the patio was this Tim Burtonesque goth chick in the corner she was totally goths at the beach. Best. Do not ever think that I am a hater. I am a lover and an appreciator. Amen sistah. I also liked when the kitchen guy came out and gave the wasp girl a potato that he wrote YOU SUCK on and she goes are you serious, “you suck?” Happy as hell. Vegans! Am I right??

Embracing bit of my excellent high shoes lately. Tall like a giraffe or a gazelle.

I feel like Austin when I wear this top hat. Heart him. #BB174EVR.

It’s his Judas hat. He has a degree in romantic..something, plus he’s a wrestler covered in a tattoo that is essentially just tree roots on acid are you kidding me!!!? I’d climb him like a tree.

Now that the show is over I have to get a life.

Reggie photoshopped all that graffiti on. This is actually taken in their spotlessly clean bathroom. I should show this to Jenny Mccarthy.

Another cowgirl one. There’s a lot of material to work with/share.

I’m an Aries. Aries is a Ram. Did you know that? I am not an astrology headcase so don’t get me going.

Adios! T G I F.

Remind me to tell you about this place. It’s called Northern Lights Lounge. Diana Ross did her makeup in the bathroom there. I have more pics. Til next time.

Blushing Crushing in Detroit pt I

Hey tiger. I always wanted an industrialized portrait like a teen runaway model, such as this. Boy I have a way with words. I am trying to “give more” here okay please, will you just!

I love collaborating with these two. We have another project on the go after this and I won’t spoil it so don’t ask. Okay it’s a video. But that’s all you get so quit asking.

Two words: these shoes. Great wardrobe costuming Lizzy. I lucked out eh.

Sorry this post is a day late but who’s the boss here? I am.

“Samantha!!!!” (Can actually do Tony’s voice perfectly, ask me if you see me IRL).

How about this top hat right? How about seeing someone wearing it riding around their apartment on their bicycle? We went down the rabbit hole madhatter perhaps? Oh, artists. Am I right? I am. I always am.

The majority and basically only work Reggie did to altering or cleaning up these photos was just covering up my bruises. I crashed my bike before I went to Detroit. I was coasting on one peddle then decided to hit the brakes for some awful reason and toppled over but don’t worry, 20 people on the starbucks patio in liberty village saw it. I have never seen my facebook crowd so happy to hear this news before. So anyway these are my flawless Mariah Carey shiny legs. Thanks Reg.

When we pulled up to the Fisher body plant I spied this tire so after the shoot up on the roof during sunset and beyond I was like, “I am so funny. I am going to push this tire down the street.” So I did. Then Reggie made me get on it and I was not into it because I’ve rolled an ankle before and it is NOT fun. I got over being a wimp and we did some tire pedestal magic.

Now with hat. I watched Straight Outta Compton the night prior, so.. I might be Ice Cube now.

Sick opening track (one of).

You bet my hands were dirty after that.

Couldn’t resist. Sometimes it is true. But I think I am so addicted to my facebook feed and snooping on the lives of others that I actually LOVE people. We can talk about this later.

Not to expose the trick but when you shoot from below you get to look way taller.

Prepare yourselves for a racy one meow….

Trying to make some pot of gold leprechaun joke here.

Lizzy likes this one.

No lying but am I entering my Mariah Carey phase? Naw. It’s my Amy Schumer phase. Bitch I’m hilar. She gets away with what I have been doing for years and trying to get away with but never did. Well guess what? It’s “mah tahm now.”

I could have gotten my hair profesh done but I was too bagged my last day to get it together and go. Regretsy. Looks neat here tho. I am Aslan of Narnia.

Getting a little stretch in there. As we age it’s important to stay limber. See how I be rockin’ the big D hat? I grabbed it as a last second thing and glad I did.

Okay um we’re almost done for now. Saving all the rest for another post I don’t want to overwhelm y’all too much.

See you tomorrow with part two of Detroit. xo rlw (missed you).

It’s so hard to stop posting pics lol. I have a ton on my camera from brunch at the Whitney. Beautiful times.

I will not dispute the above charges on my person. okay x-oh for real tho!