Will it make it til next weekend??

DAD IT’S FOR YOU! GREEK THEME BIRTHDAY WEEKEND!

Just kidding it’s just an horderve. I stopped myself at the spanakopita rolls. We can get Agabi again like last weekend and then for everyone’s after dinner enjoyment I’ll slip into a food coma. Psyched!

This picture makes me want to watch Santa Claus I want to live at the North Pole. I am so goony for Christmas this year!

This was my date machine dress. Teacher loves me in it. I kept the date machine detail out when he had stars in his eyes while staring at me hehheh. Melodie made up a song about me in her new band called Date Machine. For pretend. I find that just making a joke rather than following through is a lot more fun and less work. You can read more about my lazy/productive work ethics in my guide to life. Coming out in 2019.

I need new and more shirts. Fashion labels hook it up I want to be a model for threadless or some shit.

Ha creepy cray cray. We were a scene. Always are.

Which nail polish hmmm. This clock stresses me out when I’m working on deadline it’s like time goes faster the bigger it is! I am still drinking coffee with a straw.

I like the design here. Tiny space and made it shine.

I want my own little dog.

Fucking with Bean while Renita does some tattoo finishing touches.

I was sure to hang up my wool vest cos last time Ren did my tattoo (it’s in my archives you can go see) her dog ate up my hat.

Exactly.

Adorable shoes.

Has two black cats too, like the Matrix albino twin dorks and their dreadlocks. Barf.

Teacher has a student at school who is in love with him. She has asked about his eyes as her latest crush question of the day this past week and the other kids teased her when she asked in class what kind of car he drove, “stuuuuuh-alker!” HAHAHHA. Then a few Fridays ago when I was too hungover to meet them at St. Lawrence market on a field trip (so was Teacher ok but he HAD to go, whereas I didn’t and that’s the beauty of blogging) the following Monday they were asking if he was heartbroken and crying over my not joining them (kids, we live together we get our fill, trust me) and little miss crush goes, “I would’ve come.” (oh no you didn’t!) when he defended me by illustrating the choice between couch and warm comfort over freezing cold across town and 30 teenagers. I really wanted to go and get drunk off all that adolescent attention but in the end blogging in my little bubble won out but now naturally I am obsessed with hearing about this girl and when I get a moment I’ll find her on Facebook. Ooh exciting I can’t wait for prom, Teacher better play his cards right and get on committee or whatever happens on tv, except in real life.

AW I want a gremlin for a dog too! She also looks like a gargoyle.

Carry on.

Courtney is my new Gayle

The skinny ankles society got together last night and talked business strategy.

Coining a new term, called, ahem, the one-hander. LOL. It’s our goal.

Reason for existence. We strive for excellence. Perfection.

You know this is a load of bullshit right? Ok good lets go back to pretending now.

No really it’s a great club. Courtney mentioned that there was another new member I apparently wanted to induct but I can’t remember and Courtney’s scattered description is hazy.

Finally left with her parklife music video london flats painting I made that always makes Al break into a long story about his childhood.

Courtney is my new Gayle, and I am Oprah.

Get ready to be rich!

Off to market ta ta!

Frisky Fridays

Man this nail polish continually impresses.

A nice afternoon. Working out like a maniac.

Aerobics dance video high heel practise photo-shoot interruptus.

She loves it.

Now this’ll only hurt for just a sec.

Multi-colour lenses. By Porsche.

Who’s a brat?

What is this an ad for a 1-900 commercial?

Made two hot videos but the sound died, failed, what? Oh well wasn’t meant to be.

Let a little sun shine in.

Ha ha my lips. So thick.

Greasy teenager stoner kid look.

Where are the chips?

Thanks for fixing my hair dude! Cowabunga!

I look like Rod Stewart.

Killer legs though, no?

I am a blob.

Planking in Stilettos. A real plank, not for novices, or beginners. Advanced. Guy.

and a year ago dancing to the same song in this video, that you can’t hear.

+++

Now my hot is gettin’ recognition world’s over, thanks Girls in Cute Underwear!

Later on they’re posting some more cute things from Raymeh too! GICU is featured on Street Boners and TV Carnage so it’s like Hipster-oriented. My particular brand of hotness, I’d say, has a punk flare. Love ya bye! Oh, later on means right meow! Time for a frosty beer thanks GICU TGIF!

+++

I made Negronis.

Kahlua chocolate carnage. Xmas time at the shops is deadly.

Korean short ribs.

Meanwhile his day went like this yesterday.

Enjoyed the spotlight.

why i am interesting

Like my lame holiday dress? Teacher loves it! Boyfriend work holiday party baited! ew why did you even let me blog this? Cocktail hour around can be a dangerous thing. I don’t even know how this bastard ends. Seriously I can’t get over how bad this video is ahah Meh TGIF!

I was going to do this for Haunted Harem. Should have bought that discounted I dream of Genie costume in Thunder Bay!

Working on it.

just let my mom out of the dog house. she left me this comment, I skimmed to the almost midway point, thanks mom!

You are fearless,brutally honest,entertaining,gifted,off the wall,non conformist,beautiful,interesting,engaging,generous,big hearted,short fused,creative,funny,clumsy,hot body,have staying power,Had number one blogging status for ten years,ADD,Real,genuine,love animals,have a crazy eccentric family,related to Jack Kerouac,amazing gift of photography, brilliant stream of conscience writing Kerouac style which gets better & better,your not just a pretty face, have talent to fall back on, you are forever changing,OCD,one of a kind,love people,look great on film and camera,fit in anywhere,integrity,neurotic,top drawer, takes no prisoners,cool,artsy,fashion trender/leader,enthusiastic,fun loving,trooper,survivor,resilient,strong willed, persistent,determined,strong,intelligent,anyalitical has the most hits and readers,good business sense,passionate about life!

I’ll be back when I think of more.

ok bye

Interesting outfit award.

Wanted to wear these pants again today, could not at all find them. Where are mein pants?

It took him a long time to get the parking ticket now that you have to pay to park in libville metro. Jesus.

This pink tarantula is a doozy it aided in my having an identity crisis attack last night wicked!

This one is slightly more different than the other one. I silenced a table of 30 men on my way to the bathroom. Still got it!

I am actually stacked in a flat kind of way and it’s my monthly.

Hot babushka hot see what did I tell you.

I look like my brother.

Back to video time.

Thank you for getting high with us

Now here’s the second part to the Las Vegas style shit show we put together for the Android TO after party. Killed it.

Omg so scary and not even halloween yet!

Oh hey Paul. We are old friends. Once in awhile I bump in to him when we’re both on Nicolas Cage benders and it is funny.

Come come the more the merrier the less the scarier. One of my Raymisms. I have a lot. Michael Holett DM’d me and said, if you made up barflyentele, that is genius.

Ew gross not sexy. I look like a snausage. I bought those when I WAS a snausage actually, years ago. Never wore them. They’re so obvious.

So, once upon a time I had this idea for a burlesque troupe…

And you betcha there were haters but I kept at it and at it and that little division of my Raymi Circus is thrivin’, oh yes. I love all my girls.

I said to one group of boys that their flights had all been cancelled and they were permanently grounded, WITH ME. One licked his lips. Heh. I love being Raymi the Minx.

I wish I knew the thank you for getting high with us slogan as I’d have been saying that all night long. So much was going on I’m lucky I didn’t lose my hat.

I have really long arms.

What’s going on here what’s the big idea hey hey!

Impressive, though I might need a second look.

Not all of us are coming back.

Is that peach underwear?

Got tired of walking.

I wonder what they’re thinking, playing it cool while they feel my entire ass up.

Never fear Batman is here!

Yeah pretty much party stripper party awesome! Proud of it. Takes balls. I have them, do you? Two days later I leaned over the edge of the CN Tower. That’s Little Raymi #1 there.

Minx would look wicked on my arm in this right. Damnit.

I look like one of my childhood best friends when I show my brother and tell him he will die. Laughing. I was so retarded here I couldn’t figure out this was Alkarim.

And why I am saluting Hitler, ehhhh. I am actually waving What a power couple no?

Ha so confusing. Nice one Sean.

The other party room. Hot asian gamer chick.

We had a fake fight.

Pfft yeah.

Doin’ more of the thing.

This way no this way.

Bunny’s face should be on a toothpaste box so perfectly classic pleasantville apple pie right and I didn’t wash my hair what is it doing??? So puffy and stringy.

Aw I love him he always makes me laugh. Whether it be this or playing the keyboard with bubble wrap on his head stuffed in a Knight helmet.

Zaira’s big cans and ANDY MILONAKIS.

Gee I wonder which guys in this picture were on shrooms, the big mascot heads?

Do you think I was playing it cool enough?

Jazmin was their favourite.

I am talking all street here I think he bought it. Sean told him I was crazy though, thank you Sean! Holy smokes you should read some of the email chain between me and Sean over the last month planning this party ha ha.

Oh yeah some shit went down in the social media hood this night. It involves your hero. I don’t think that is what I am talking about here though despite my most amazing of facial expressions.

Thank you Celina for getting the roller lesbian punk babes together for this and fielding all that drama holy crap everywhere there be drama us burlesque misfits had some ourselves. Makes life exciting don’t it?

You know what’s sad and funny is, I actually look older than Andy Milonakis. I am going to go kill myself now kay thanks bye he’s 36!

Those sex costumes make your arms look humongous. And your face like Tara Reid. Enjoy! Some girl added me on FB who is a famous dominatrix and she has the same flight suit, weird right? That’s why she added me I think. I dunno, you never know when you are on the internet right? Scary place.

I am forcing him to kiss me here and he is playing funny guy. I think he thinks I was just trying to use him for his celebrity or something (totally was).

I can tell he liked it. Facebook liked it.

Then he started being nice and telling me stuff about crap that us performer guys talk about involving hotels and all that star treatment and Jazmin’s boobs probably.

OH how nice for me, a zit on game day!

And last one.

Everyone had costume changes it was the greatest thing. Loved curly ginger haired Harry Potter kid. That stage was bouncing and tunes were blasting I was blasted ahhh life.

Party shots! Hi Sean!

Anyone could get up in there and slam dance. Stephen did, that’s when we met I was drunk sitting on my luggage cross legged like a lady and he was piss wasted and some other little raymis were gathered and we fell in partying socialite love. Wicked dude! he goes, and I’m not even attracted to you, you’re not my type hahaha. More perfect. he’s the one I went to Thompson underground with and partied even dirtier with Pauly Shore.

Well wouldn’t ya know it’s all over.

xo

Don’t remember if I blogged these of Erica’s. I feel like I did.

i think so?

Deleted last night’s post. Liked the photos still.

Love Wills Landing. VIPLEASE treatment pleases meh.

Guys tell me why I am interesting please I have to make an audition video one where I’m not david Hasselhoffing and shoving chicken wings in my mouth.

pretend blogging

i am pretend blogging (typing on camera for b-roll) right now this is what pretend blogging reads like i think it just might be my greatest and latest masterpiece my nose is dripping snot i just sniffled on camera im sure that was a masterpiece too rob is hanging the mirror in my face (to bounce more light on my face) right now and it’s falling to pieces all the paper behind it (shitty antique mirror) before this we swung on some swings out there with this gene guy who barely even spoke to me and yet we are supposed to be a couple lol?

I jumped off four times.

This isn’t work this is play. Ok it’s work. But it is awesome work. Each jump was shitty in it’s own special way, too far, not enough air, was that even a jump or a step off? lol.

I look old and fat.

That’s a wrap.

Free to comment free of registration now. I was seriously taking a blogging siesta but then I calmed down and learned that my yfrog account wasn’t deleted. It’s just that there is ALWAYS someone waiting to fuck with me, willing and waiting and ready and whether it was real or imagined, I just had it with technology and how much of a hold it has on our lives and thought I might effect some IRL change I dunno and at the very least get a lot of my book finished. I will still be taking breaks, I don’t know why I have to go cold turkey on things though, I’m quite stubborn. The second I declared a blogging strike someone registered a stupid user name for my blog “Username:
Journey – E-mail: whywoulduputthatshitonarm@anytime.com” Seriously do you wake up and sleep to losers as much as I do in your field of work??? I have competitors so I can’t afford to take a break right meow otherwise I’d nuke this thing.

sadistic narcissist

Each Ikea bed comes with a swedish blond. Ha.

The smaller you dress, the smaller you look.

Hi guys, welcome to Aunt Raymi’s Gingerbread House. (new house nickname) The Tower just wasn’t working. Gingerbread House is loads cuter and more apt and that’s what these townhouses look like anyway. Now Raia wants a how to be trophy wifey guide, oy vey. Well, first thing’s first, you must take care of yourself ladies. No man is going to want to take care of you if you don’t even want to take care of yourself. If you won an Oscar, you’d dust it right? Lol. Ps. We are DINKs (that’s double income, I ain’t no leech) but you can still be a princess too.

My candy earrings are growing on me. I am making wicked catch-up time on being a tom boy for most of my life and not having my ears pierced. I escaped from a lesbian commune. They couldn’t outrun me in the end. My name was Luane Writhe, which is an anagram for Lauren White. I’m pretty good with the bullshit, eh.

Love my bed.

I feel too old to wear Tom’s. I have to start dressing like Kate Middleton now.

I have over 30 pairs of underwear. Good ones too. Won’t be needing to do laundry again for a long time now. Finally began tackling my tickle trunk.

Classic Raymi half-smirk.

Go to campus crew, buy everything. It’s all FITTED. XS tanks with high waisted AA leggings or the equestrian ones from Zara Lois got me. House wife curvy babushka who will win every domestic battle in time lol.

Neat matching colours in this shot. I look like a wizard and an androgynous model. Whatever. It’s tight! And aiight!

BAM! Right back to feminine.

I didn’t mean for my Equestrian Spanks-like leggings to get thrown in the wash so now I look like a Christina Aguilera music video good grief.

Experimenting with Eye make-up.

PMS tired but I am amazed at how clean i look even though I only showered yesterday. Sometimes when I sleep my hair goes wild and matted from sweat while others, perfect cupcake sprinkletown unicorn sugar pop. Lol. Exactly that.

I have big plans for the wall above the bed.

This morning I think? Blaha when the hell else would it have been>??? Idiot.

Oh boy here comes trouble.

My eyes look funny here I look like a mermaid. Just let me think that.

Here we go now.

Blaha I look like a pure stripper here.

I am fat from pigging out and being pre-menstrual but pretty bonny no?

Oh hai. Someone is livin’ large now and lovin’ life.

Whimsical nerd!

I do my toenails very seldomly.

Not my regular side of the bed. Once tattoo is healed I am BACK baby. I have been having retarded dreams from the switch.

Aw her one white leg disappears in to the sheepskin rug.

We’re not going here anymore and I am depressed about it because I am wings obsessed. They blew it!

I eat like this ten times a day. I will miss my hurricanes :(.

Princess Parkdale.

Domestic molestic continues

I just came up with a great sequel to Bad Teacher and it’s called SCARY BABYSITTER!

Good idea.

Famous blogger, I am, yes?

Why was there a can opener there? We got in a fight cos he said it didn’t look good and I was like, in crazy girlfriend ugly face, “what the fuck doesn’t look good?” I have not gone to Ikea once and not had a couple disagreement not once. People get edgy and even after the loosening up heinekens. I was having a bit of panic and feeling overwhelmed because I am a perfectionist and grabbing bits and bobs makes you feel scattered like how is this house shopping if we are only buying a pillow? Once we got the cart we calmed the hell down haha. Worst cart ever too it was like bumper cars dodging people and furniture. I smashed in to so many displays. I love Ikea cos they leave you alone and not once have I been hassled about photography, never, ever. knock on wood now cos it’s been a good run. I Have photos back to 2003 on this crap-o-blog. I’m lying on a fur rug here.

OMG! I love it, sorry just found this, had to share. I know what movie we’re watching tonight!

The cat’s nail ripped out on this shirt and made a hole in it while we were all lying on the couch it is like living on a farm I swear plus all these new pillows and couch throw ahaha just wait til we get the pile rug it’s going to be fucking bananas we’ll have a big christmas jam I am making the most craziest hello kitty madness christmas tree It’ll be like PeeWee’s Playhouse. Oh god.

Should get it in time for tomorrow’s shoot?

We had every intention of buying this rug but the store closed and couldn’t run back to fetch it, and the instruction/ikea directions weren’t clear then we got lost in the vortex of that place and got drunk and overwhelmed. It was a great time!

This couch is fun for like three seconds then you’re like, I am trapped in a Dr. Seuss hell, WITH YOU ugh. My tat is showing cos I don’t want to get sweater furl in the lotion, which is what happens. Must air breathe and you know I am not “trying hard” or “posing” cos my other tats are covered so shut uppy!

Laine needs customer service abuse advice, on how to better abuse customer service women cos they be catty bitches. Have any probs you want answered in video format? raymi@raymitheminx.com Laine, yours is first :) (I’ll make a video tonight).

Man those Swedes are comedians.

Raymbo Bright room!

I’ve gotta dash out soon to be on REAL camera for that advertisement thingy I’m in/working on with Rob. Do you like my swedish accent?

How geniuses shop. Leslie was like, yours has beer!? DUDE. There are pictures of me with beer or wine in every ikea blog post. EVERY POST. There’s been loads of legendary ikea posts here, they even make the news. Why you’d pay another blogger to blog Ikea for you is a waste of advertising dollars. Have you seen my blog counter lately? or theirs? Brad’s post yesterday drove it up to 133 and there weren’t even any tits in it BUT there’s a video of me running in a long white whimsical dress in a field through sunshine the day the globe and mail article hit newsstands and it was a mega intense dramatic day, everyone had emotions about it.

See Leslie!

Retro Raymeh.

Bought two of these, one for at my dad’s so he can keep it on his Raymi Shelf lol. He kept the water fluff science experiment xmas tree we made last year that my aunt bought.

Not as littered with decorations as I had thought it’d be, too soon.

Makeup spackle time brb!

Aw nice random FB message of the day:

I don’t know how we know eachother- but I have to say your pictures are always amazing!!! Lol- they are more interesting then the friends I do know! … Thanks for always looking fun! Krystie

Well thanks Krystie, that is because I have been a professional interesting person for many years now! Love Raymi.

That flower cushion is reversible. It’s plaid on the other side.

Even though I am fully in to pink I think it would make the living room too Pee Wee’s Playhouse but then again it is way more comfortable than how I am hunch over right now.

I was closing this cupboard on a little girl. No seriously, two show up and one climbs in and I stood there frozen like, I know how this goes down on tv, security arrives and I get arrested for talking to a child that isn’t mine. Meanwhile the mom could care less about her daughters and I always end up babysitting the thing for a minute or two. I started hanging up the prop clothes on the hangers in there all around her til her sister dragged her away crying, wanting desperately to be my daughter. Sorry kid, the stork missed my house.

Ok I’m back my film shoot has been pushed to tomorrow and the location has changed to my livingroom! Perfect that we just went to Ikea much??

I am in to this dude. Change many colours, I think all other Little Raymi-like minded types have him already, or will. Hard to capture when it goes pink.

My dad has one of these for Rocky. My Friend is already wreaking havoc all over it.

Looks like I have an elongated face here.

OK that is pinkish. I wanted a light instead of candles all the time. My eyes require ambiance, I am a moody writer.

Mystery camera has the juicy ones on it. It was my goal to get a nice portrait studio thing going on in the bedroom, bought a new duvet. It’s happening.

First crow’s feet picture of me ever. Look like whiskers!

Love this european flare creepy minimalist children’s toy. One in every hair/skin tone. Bjorn where is the Jam?

Yeah we may not go back for this but I do want a better chair, and desk. When my tickle trunk boudoir is clean It may turn into an office. or maybe I’ll get a TV show to make it all over hahhaa. HINT.

Chair matches my purse and the shiny leather matches my shiny nose.

I look like my nana and mother.

I dunno couldn’t tell ya. I want forehead botox though.

I was tired. Got period today so I wasn’t making it up.

Don’t dress like a slob cos there’s mirrors everywhere.

That shirt came from Stephy. We are the same size and she is tiny. She was my first tiny friend and I give her much credit in becoming teeny again because I am competitive and was jealous. YES!

I tsk tsked her choices meanwhile put my face in three boxes of chocolates last night. Plus two other bags we already had. PMS is a hell of a thing! It’s like battling an ancient demon warlock that travels up from Hell to fight again. BRING IIIIIT!

The stuff in the middle of the salmon was gross, no idea what it is. Not parsnips.

Aw.

If these sheets are so racially hotbed issue why didn’t anyone care when Old navy was all “ethnic prints” (yes actual wording from the campaign I blogged about it when it happened) and the look was “tribal” then AA ran with it too? Puh-lease, this is an homage and I disagree, it’s also canadiana too if you look more closely. We took photos last night of the new duvet I will look at once I download them off mystery camera.

Spicy chocolate. Sent the rest to school with Teacher. I have to watch my waistline.

Ok better pictures now.