Raymes TV

I am doing this song for Raymaoke next I go out! I BET YOU ARE DYING TO SEE THE SECOND HALF OF THIS VIDEO!

Ha my sloppy sash. Thanks for cleaning me up dude!

What should I read while I meditate in the bath and prepare for my audition? I am behind on many things.


I got on a plane for my first visit to TBAY the morning after this photo.

Raymi Lauren White blogging in the year 2009 looked like this
55 minutes ago · Like

Matthew Broszkowski Ugh, look how crappy the quality was in facebook photo uploads.
51 minutes ago · Like

Raymi Lauren White and the quality of the photo im taking with that shitty camera is even crappier!
51 minutes ago · Like

Domestic molestic continues

I just came up with a great sequel to Bad Teacher and it’s called SCARY BABYSITTER!

Good idea.

Famous blogger, I am, yes?

Why was there a can opener there? We got in a fight cos he said it didn’t look good and I was like, in crazy girlfriend ugly face, “what the fuck doesn’t look good?” I have not gone to Ikea once and not had a couple disagreement not once. People get edgy and even after the loosening up heinekens. I was having a bit of panic and feeling overwhelmed because I am a perfectionist and grabbing bits and bobs makes you feel scattered like how is this house shopping if we are only buying a pillow? Once we got the cart we calmed the hell down haha. Worst cart ever too it was like bumper cars dodging people and furniture. I smashed in to so many displays. I love Ikea cos they leave you alone and not once have I been hassled about photography, never, ever. knock on wood now cos it’s been a good run. I Have photos back to 2003 on this crap-o-blog. I’m lying on a fur rug here.

OMG! I love it, sorry just found this, had to share. I know what movie we’re watching tonight!

The cat’s nail ripped out on this shirt and made a hole in it while we were all lying on the couch it is like living on a farm I swear plus all these new pillows and couch throw ahaha just wait til we get the pile rug it’s going to be fucking bananas we’ll have a big christmas jam I am making the most craziest hello kitty madness christmas tree It’ll be like PeeWee’s Playhouse. Oh god.

Should get it in time for tomorrow’s shoot?

We had every intention of buying this rug but the store closed and couldn’t run back to fetch it, and the instruction/ikea directions weren’t clear then we got lost in the vortex of that place and got drunk and overwhelmed. It was a great time!

This couch is fun for like three seconds then you’re like, I am trapped in a Dr. Seuss hell, WITH YOU ugh. My tat is showing cos I don’t want to get sweater furl in the lotion, which is what happens. Must air breathe and you know I am not “trying hard” or “posing” cos my other tats are covered so shut uppy!

Laine needs customer service abuse advice, on how to better abuse customer service women cos they be catty bitches. Have any probs you want answered in video format? raymi@raymitheminx.com Laine, yours is first :) (I’ll make a video tonight).

Man those Swedes are comedians.

Raymbo Bright room!

I’ve gotta dash out soon to be on REAL camera for that advertisement thingy I’m in/working on with Rob. Do you like my swedish accent?

How geniuses shop. Leslie was like, yours has beer!? DUDE. There are pictures of me with beer or wine in every ikea blog post. EVERY POST. There’s been loads of legendary ikea posts here, they even make the news. Why you’d pay another blogger to blog Ikea for you is a waste of advertising dollars. Have you seen my blog counter lately? or theirs? Brad’s post yesterday drove it up to 133 and there weren’t even any tits in it BUT there’s a video of me running in a long white whimsical dress in a field through sunshine the day the globe and mail article hit newsstands and it was a mega intense dramatic day, everyone had emotions about it.

See Leslie!

Retro Raymeh.

Bought two of these, one for at my dad’s so he can keep it on his Raymi Shelf lol. He kept the water fluff science experiment xmas tree we made last year that my aunt bought.

Not as littered with decorations as I had thought it’d be, too soon.

Makeup spackle time brb!

Aw nice random FB message of the day:

I don’t know how we know eachother- but I have to say your pictures are always amazing!!! Lol- they are more interesting then the friends I do know! … Thanks for always looking fun! Krystie

Well thanks Krystie, that is because I have been a professional interesting person for many years now! Love Raymi.

That flower cushion is reversible. It’s plaid on the other side.

Even though I am fully in to pink I think it would make the living room too Pee Wee’s Playhouse but then again it is way more comfortable than how I am hunch over right now.

I was closing this cupboard on a little girl. No seriously, two show up and one climbs in and I stood there frozen like, I know how this goes down on tv, security arrives and I get arrested for talking to a child that isn’t mine. Meanwhile the mom could care less about her daughters and I always end up babysitting the thing for a minute or two. I started hanging up the prop clothes on the hangers in there all around her til her sister dragged her away crying, wanting desperately to be my daughter. Sorry kid, the stork missed my house.

Ok I’m back my film shoot has been pushed to tomorrow and the location has changed to my livingroom! Perfect that we just went to Ikea much??

I am in to this dude. Change many colours, I think all other Little Raymi-like minded types have him already, or will. Hard to capture when it goes pink.

My dad has one of these for Rocky. My Friend is already wreaking havoc all over it.

Looks like I have an elongated face here.

OK that is pinkish. I wanted a light instead of candles all the time. My eyes require ambiance, I am a moody writer.

Mystery camera has the juicy ones on it. It was my goal to get a nice portrait studio thing going on in the bedroom, bought a new duvet. It’s happening.

First crow’s feet picture of me ever. Look like whiskers!

Love this european flare creepy minimalist children’s toy. One in every hair/skin tone. Bjorn where is the Jam?

Yeah we may not go back for this but I do want a better chair, and desk. When my tickle trunk boudoir is clean It may turn into an office. or maybe I’ll get a TV show to make it all over hahhaa. HINT.

Chair matches my purse and the shiny leather matches my shiny nose.

I look like my nana and mother.

I dunno couldn’t tell ya. I want forehead botox though.

I was tired. Got period today so I wasn’t making it up.

Don’t dress like a slob cos there’s mirrors everywhere.

That shirt came from Stephy. We are the same size and she is tiny. She was my first tiny friend and I give her much credit in becoming teeny again because I am competitive and was jealous. YES!

I tsk tsked her choices meanwhile put my face in three boxes of chocolates last night. Plus two other bags we already had. PMS is a hell of a thing! It’s like battling an ancient demon warlock that travels up from Hell to fight again. BRING IIIIIT!

The stuff in the middle of the salmon was gross, no idea what it is. Not parsnips.


If these sheets are so racially hotbed issue why didn’t anyone care when Old navy was all “ethnic prints” (yes actual wording from the campaign I blogged about it when it happened) and the look was “tribal” then AA ran with it too? Puh-lease, this is an homage and I disagree, it’s also canadiana too if you look more closely. We took photos last night of the new duvet I will look at once I download them off mystery camera.

Spicy chocolate. Sent the rest to school with Teacher. I have to watch my waistline.

Ok better pictures now.

oh just so fucking superbly fucking great

guess which one we will come home with.

i really like this one though the white worries me but if that part is kept at the side fil sleeps on we’re good and someone just said it looks like cum, great, arty cum for one and all.

i showed this one to fil as a joke and he likes it a lot, ugh, mature much? i like it too but i think the novelty will wear off ridiculously quick.

this one is a cheapo, which makes me suspicious, also, too much white, i’m just concerned about stains showing. i really do want a big white duvet cover like meg ryan in you’ve got mail, ahhh, but seriously, not practical at all.

these stripes make me feel dizzy so i dunno, this one isn’t at the top of my list.

i like this print, it’s classical whimsy moves me but i dunno, too much red in the room might make me cuckoo.

kinda blah, but good blah i think, like a copy of the three little bears from the 80s drawn with water colours blah.

this one screams I’M A YUPPIE WITH PERSONALITY AND DEPTH FUCKING VALIDATE ME BLAAAAAGH! it reminds me of the santa clause, tim allen’s bed spread, even though it was black, there’s just something cold about this, i don’t like its intentions. hahaha fuck can i read your colours too?

i love this one a lot but it is the most expensive of the lot, 99 boners, it makes me feel like we are on a tropical holiday forever. i bet it has the best thread count too.

this one looks like pajamas to me, and hipsters, i like it, and yet i am irritated by it at the same time. haha.

this KILLS my eyeballs its vibrancy does not even register properly in the photo so i can only imagine how intense it is in person.

ok so those are the choices, good luck with your guessing and yes don’t forget to do that thing again thank you saturday buddies i will always be here for you.

The 2008 Weblog Awards

on the road part one

hi simpletons how’ve you been oh wait i just remembered i don’t care JOKES i so care! i bet i like you more than you like yourselves. alright, here’s some shit we did yesterday while you were beating off to judge judy, enjoy!

ah so good, we begin this quest by ignoring fil and reading to ourselves until we turn up at ikea to exchange our bath mat for one without a rubber lining and then buy some shower rings THAT DON’T FIT OUR ROD but we don’t learn that until today, radical. i know some of you are on the edge of your seats about this.

gave the ole tresses a break yesterday so it was on-the-go italian shower of power day. no you smell. ps. best laundry dramz day is happening ever and it does not involve me but would have had i not got down there in time to snag a washer.


the worst thing about ikea is the waiting in line part, for exchanges/returns they have a ticket system which fil totally dug cos we got to chill a bit.

then a woman ruined the system cos her turn was skipped cos she had buggered off, um get a new ticket you cunt! i seemed to have been the only person annoyed by this or who noticed. how about your ticket system now fil?

that’s her fucking shelf behind me too.

what’s up dudes. their owner turned up just as we were pullin’ out so i wasn’t busted, phew.

then i enjoyed myself a five minute long piss. clean your mirror tim horton’s! ps. if you are “one of those” who calls it timmies 1. we can’t be friends 2. you sound like a total baby 3. die – in whichever order you want i’m feeling generous right now.

so starved can we eat here?

then fil had to go to the toilet so i went art small town homo ‘cept everything was ugly on this corner, i tried.

bahaha see?

don’t trip over yourselves callin’ up national geographic now.

here i am bored and in love with myself.

another boring parking spot obviously.


tuna wrap it was alright, i was more into the pretentious chick behind me bragging about her toronto friends and how much of a snob she is for discussing england (she said look at us we’re soooo snobby), i tried really hard to get her to make eye contact with me so she could see my squinty beady eyes but she was so immersed in her blowhard chit chat she didn’t look my way not once not even when i tapped the lamp above our booth to make it sway back and forth. GOD JUST LOOK AT ME. then i became more interested in staring at the guy with a gross blond pube beard with one of his gf’s long strands of hair velcro’d to it SICK.

fil’s meh chicken salad i paid for more than half of i must be pmsing hard i’m full of haterade right now can’t wait to hit publish and see how much of a bitch i am being. before this we stopped in at a terrible restaurant and saw some mennonites, i used the bathroom and came back to the table to find that fil had not been given a menu so we bailed. why do small town restaurants fuck it up so much who are you by the way cafe? (notorious worst service in the annex ever no wonder someone got shot on your doorstep you probably made the dude wait half an hour just to make eye contact with you)

someone write a guide to surviving a small town. maybe i should based on the teeny experience i’ve had i’m sure that will go over well.

mmmm gettin’ hungry over here.

dad, this barn’s for you.

i wish i was an architect in the 70’s.

why did you spell that the american way? and why are you so full of shit too?

world’s biggest meth pipe oh and kudos to natalie for pointing out that our bartender at the fox was kinda methy best description ever and i’ve been using it as much as possible since.


You want to see blogging?

Now this…THIS is Blogging



It’s really no different than any other spoiled rich brat’s blog but the sure amount of effort and acclaim really put it into a surreal spot.

aw thanks, you think i’m spoiled and rich. total geniuses in that thread much.

“It’s like someone who didn’t know about MySpace decided to make a blog.”

seriously, bringing up myspace to make a point are you eleven?

alright, i’m going to take a BORING shower now.