this is me reading your annoying comments

i am reading the late hector kipling right now and fucking loving it and the copy i am currently borrowing is an unedited manuscript, wicked. it was said that this book reminded the reader of me, and i guess it does or will. it’s just nice to have a book inspire you to write a book or paint a picture or at least think about doing those things or to be reminded that you enjoy doing them so this one gets the raymi’s book club stippity-stamp for sure and as it turns out the author is also an actor in harry potter wtf? oh internet, you are so totally the smartest person i ever met.

i love me, you love me, win win.

88% legs

pretend dance pose just for you.

uh sorry the xXx’s on bottles is my thing thanks.

guess who almost lost their face last nite? totally my own fault it’s ok.

freddy the monster.

i want to live in an old bank building!

didn’t stay long at baby huey cos it smelled like pee at the top of the stairs, i closed the door once and the bartender came to open it up again. ok point taken buh-bye. I LOVE HOT PISS STINK. have you ever been in the bathrooms of max fish, it’s like a hot sauna of urine so sick, well, it wasn’t as bad as that but it was reminiscent of it and i cannot imagine trying to dig around in a baggy through that. also the fat nerd slobs would not vacate the couch area and it annoyed me like, you left your couch at home to go sit on a couch in this “cool” bar and you are so fantastically lazy you can’t be bothered to remove your empties you have to put them up on our (teeny) table of jackets? you didnt have enough room around that huge couch you had to take up our only space too? rude, toronto, you are fat and you are rude and you are lazy and you are getting on my last nerve and you all have the same winter boots. oh relax, only most of you are annoying.

i told fil before we left that i was going to just sit on the arm rest of the couch out of spite, fil said no. i am going to start a band called FIL SAID NO and we will play songs about rules and regulations and limitations. we will have zero fans and make zero money and have zero hits. good idea? maybe if we were called FIL SAID YES we’d make it.

oh and we bumped into alicia and she was wearing a new jacket that looks like my leather one and she would not let me take our picture together cos she was coasting on an alternate plane of reality (had to beat it out of there)(even though i put on MY jacket and got out my camera to snap one off)(ew i know sorry).


siiiigh. this place is available too….

then i broke my self-enforced blacklist rule for karaoke at the fox and they had sent the karaoke host home cos it was dead (wasn’t) so we (i) inhaled nachos and played megatouch instead and now i am fat and depressed and still sick good day.

moldy oldies

but first check out natalie’s place!

thanks matt two months late much…

what am i dancing to here fucking bandstand?

i flipped it so you could see the important face first.

election nite.

nuit blanche was ten years ago dude.

crabbily reading a mag at steph’s bday party, i felt fat that nite.

fil chugged my sangria this morning cos he “thought” it was juice. yeah right fil.

new robe new purse STILL!! SICK!!! wtf

and for crying out loud can YOU losers update your blogs holy frig the internet is boring this time of year and what day is it saturday? jesus. JUST TELL ME A FUCKING STORY IN MY COMMENTS THAT’S ALL I WANT NOT A LOT TO ASK JUST GO, LEAVE, I HATE YOU. is it too early to start drinking on an empty stomach i am so stir crazy i’m in a dimension of whole ‘nother.

dsrg;iuhoiehphinfepnrendf;Fbndfbs:Few;m and so on.


i watched sex and the city finally, purely for scientific reasons of course, and i thought, well, ugh, first of all it was extremely straight-forward to someone who has never ever watched any of the episodes before (but i am NOT entirely unaware of the plot or characters of this show from years of listening to you birds beat off about it all)(when i lived in brooklyn one day on my way to buy booze for the vice parties i tended i passed by a taping of SATC, i saw kim cattrall, talking on her cell phone, wow explosion!) anyway, hate to break it to you but uh, these characters aren’t funny and i think you need to put down the kool-aid. you guys are all drunks for this shit and i am the voice of sober reason (ha for once) and you are lapping it all up. also, realistically speaking? a writer in new york with that wardrobe? come on. i know people harp on that one a lot too but still it doesn’t make it any less annoying when it’s played out before you fifty fucking million costume changes in a row. when the cast was on oprah SJP went on about this one dress that was used in a scene then was whisked off to the jungles of africa for a photo-shoot but they had to re-shoot the scene so they sent an intern TO THE JUNGLES OF AFRICA to get it, she waited for the shoot to be over, got the dress had a cocktail then caught a flight back in time for the SATC scene.


pretty much exact words.

someone’s caught up in their character a little too much and “cocktail” IN THE JUNGLE? really? was it necessary to repeat that one? how embarrassingly pretentious. i could see on oprah’s face she was like, uh really you went there?

when you’re out of your mind rich you’re not supposed to fawn over unrelatable stories and laugh at the punchline (was there even one?) before it comes out of your stupid mouth.

ok back to the movie, how simple and one-dimensional are these characters do you even see it, I FEEL LIKE I’M ON CRAZY PILLS (am) like dude YOU CAN’T GET OUT OF THE FUCKING CAR WHEN YOU SEE HER IN THAT DRESS WHAT WHY WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT the rest of the movie’s drama revolves around that simple-minded event? how dumb do you expect the viewer to be?

oh and the nice one who shits herself in mexico that wouldn’t have happened so quickly, it would have taken at least 24 hours for the water to take effect on your bowels and THEN you’d have the shits for 3 weeks not just one teeny cute pants-filling moment.

and the slutty cougar one wasn’t even that slutty and why was she always in new york at the drop of a hat i call bullshit AND WHY ARE THEY ALWAYS EATING LUNCH? why can’t they be eating hangover greasy spoon at lunchtime instead like normal fucking people?

i cannot stand that redhead at all AT ALL, worst haircut ever, unacceptable and the secret she kept are you kidding me, i think i’d be angrier for more than three days over that one (good scene with the balloons though) ugh ok look at me this post is exactly like everyone else’s when the movie hit theatres. despite all the blatant horseshit i did enjoy the 2 hour and 25 minute mental holiday, afterward sass and i watched breakfast at tiffany’s (totally hysterical) so it was a good eve.

oh yeah another thing, no special features on the regular SATC dvd so you suckers would all go out and buy that stupid wedding collection box set whatever. total suckers.

a chat

i can’t put up the new shower curtain cos the rings are so old rusted and cheap i just tried to take one off and my incredible hulk-like strength shattered it into a million pieces. oh and the new bathroom rug i bought us we cannot use cos of the rubber lining, not allowed to put it in the washers in this building. OH LOOK ANOTHER RULE.

merkley???: you are 80 years old

me: hahaha

merkley???: how is your blood pressure?

me: its just story telling relax

merkley???: no — it’s an emergency

me: what my crotchety blog post?

merkley???: eMERKgency

me: ha

merkley???: yes i read it
got home from LA last night
right before i went to sleep i did all my reading of the internet in my newsreader

me: what did u do there

merkley???: your blog comes up on the bottom because the rss feed is UNTITLED
went to the premiere of yes man

me: how did u go to that

merkley???: jim careys new movie

me: so u saw zooey deschanel

merkley???: my friends von iva are in the movie

me: lucky

merkley???: her fictitious band in the movie are my friends
now they are all pals
i was beckys date
she plays keyboards

me: i LOVE zooey
i hate your luck

merkley???: so i read your blog last which made me have a dream about you

me: i KNOW
did you come on here to brag

merkley???: anyway in my dream you were trying to make out with me

me: what is your opinion on my tattoo cos i know you have one


me: oh haa
yeah right in your dream you were trying to make out with me nice try

merkley???: i’d admit it if it was true
you were trying to kiss me and it was like you never kissed anyone in your whole life
but the image was from one of your photos
i think it sparked the dream
because the location was about the same and the outfit too
cept you had a winter hat on

me: which outfit
when something comes up in a reader it comes up the way the post is when u hit publish right, and not when i go back to edit it?
so people miss stuff?

merkley???: i’m trying to find the picture
it updates

that picture
i think it was the last thing i saw before i went to sleep

me: haha

merkley???: but dude, you need to learn how to kiss a man

me: u need to learn how to have better dreams about me

merkley???: whoa dude, your blog looks all different
doesnt even look like your blog
i only read rss so i haven’t seen the actual thing for a long time

me: refresh
the bg changes everytime u refresh
theres like 50 of them

merkley???: cool
my blog background changes too so don’t think you were first
i like tattoos — back to that question
i never understood the fascination with blythe but it makes a good tattoo
who made your backgrounds? they don’t look made by you at all
are you ignoring me because i dreamed that you were an awkward kisser?

me: no i’m getting dressed
nerds made them they take images from my buzznet and make them into collages
some are way geeky

merkley???: i think you should do them
they dont look youish

me: i dont have photoshop but i will

merkley???: some of the fonts are bad too — i know you didnt choose them

me: i chose the good ones
gotta get dressed more bye merkley leave me comments please i miss you

guess what!


i blew my voice out singing karaoke on playstation christmas eve and now i talk like the chick from superbad and i am in tons of pain awesome. what?! no one could beat me so i kept going and going and going then woke up talking like a dude.

did y’all have god christmaseseseses? did you get good shit? crap? monies? returnies?

i got us a new shower curtain and framed fil’s degree.

i am painfully coughing up interesting looking things (not even a smoker!)(but i’ve noticed how not grey and dirty they are) and the stuff coming out of my nose is just, phenomenal.

guys i fucking suck.

i got the robe i wanted and lots of loot, thanks everyone! more later i feel like shit.

oh and you’ll be happy to know i gained back all the weight i lost from being sick fucking fuck.

oh yeah i wrote something once…


This morning I unwrapped my copy of Marketable Depression and went on to read it in about an hour, but I felt it necessary to say that the “i like the crazy girl next door” story was quite possibly one of the greatest things I have read in a very very long time.

So much so that I called my boyfriend and read it out-loud to him.

He agrees.

Merry Christmas!!!