Tag Archives: toronto

Just another day in the life

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The eatingest sweetheart of the city. Maybe that will be my next self-selling detail, usually I tack the “foodie” bit on to the end of all my other accolades, “Oh and I’m a total pig with connections too, fully, honestly.”

Scotch egg and steak tartare. Red Flag was in a feeling’s eating mood, I wasn’t, but I ate anyway. 416 food doesn’t count cos it’s made for mice from the Beatrix Potter book (tiny tiny portion sized).

Eggs benny scotched egg at that. Deadly.

Deadlier, Devil’s on horseback. No idea what they were, still kind of don’t. Favourite thing. I don’t know what it is but it’s my favourite.

This shirt and a few others I discovered in one of my many piles of collections that I have been diligently pairing down and out the stuff I never wear. I got this from our adventurehouse garage sale from Melucas, why they would get rid of this gem beats me. I also got a nice white vintage GOODYEAR tee.

Do you want to date my ex? Seriously. Consider this the beginnings of the facilitation process. Normally his face isn’t this intense.

Amazing oysters. This was all we ate.

My vest matched the decor.

This seemed dangerous.

Allison’s birthday party in the park. I showed up wicked late.

Happy Birthday little pet! RUV ROO! Only 25! Allow me to suck up your youth. I can remember back to when I was 25 and hanging out with you…

The picnic sheet had a Madhatter thing going on which I loved and sat on.

It was down to this or the blue, I felt the party hats poppin’ up might be too much for the world. It’s the little things, no? HAahahaa righteous.

White peach (nothing white about it) crystal light.

Smoked gouda flax nachos, with sriracha and green salsa.

Rasta toothbrush felt like checking up on the neighbours. I have three other rotating toothbrushes going right now (from traveling, one goes missing so you open another then that first one appears again, you know how it is) so I haven’t used this one yet I just like walking around with it for street cred purposes.

Some people collect dolls, others, bottles of tequila.

And so of course I had some wine.

Daddy’s girl. lol.

Took some italian cheese for the road and my perry bible fellowship book back! Now when I reference it people will understand what the hell I am talking about.

We only said goodbye with words i died a hundred times

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Haha how Justin Bieber of me.

That grey shirt is from Zellers if you can believe it.

This guy in libville forced us to let him take our picture then got annoyed at us for my phone taking so long to load, he offered, I was perfectly fine posing solo in front of this taken by paddy. He took a great shot to be honest so, it all worked out in the end.

My mom said she lost ten pounds at the fat camp. Can’t wait to see her and Lois!

I’m down to 120. Not even by trying either.

I love Liberty Village.

I didn’t realize clem had one of those sports cars everybody stares at, like the top ten douchey fancy cars you’d see in libville, it has the four rings, an audi? I dunno but everyone was staring and I liked it. They should market a platinum side hair clip for sports car passengers, oh wait they do, they’re called weaves.

Clem was playing hooky and a total enabler like me, paddy showed to drop off my nail polish (FINALLY OMFG!) and then it turned into a beach mission. Stella the dog had the best time ever and has been my loyal devoted shadow follower ever since. She gets in phases where I am a Greek Goddess and it’s pretty cute. I love winning.

At Lisa’s Friday night pre-drinks before the Silver Dollar. Dan Burke (promoter one-man legit toronto music scene institution) was mesmerized by my face but couldn’t place it, I’m a ghost from the past and my hair isn’t black anymore.

Who knew my earrings could be weapons, they’re cubes, sharp also positioned pointing outward all pointy.

When James hugged me goodbye (a serious hug!) he cut his flippin’ face on my right earring. Hardcore carnage!

A dark n stormy (lime dark rum and ginger beer).

These moments will get you through winter.

Aw look at Stella she is like what are you doing to meee? She made a new friend in Lenny. Maybe we can walk her to Clem’s one day and party on his deck for a change?

These are the crispy calamari I ate the other day, see how much I got them crisped. I’ll be back at the caddy within 48 hours now thanks to this photo.

I can’t believe we all fit in that thing. Princess always rides shotgun. You should see me in the front seat of a cab ordering the driver around like my husband ahahaha it’s hilarious. Omg try having a ride with Melodie and I we are horrible, horrible! I love it! Hope she’s having a good time in Montreal.

New fav band is NEW GHOST. Maybe we’ll do a burlesque showcase together, yeah? I love shows at Silver Dollar.

Bumped into Courtney up Ossington just as hung as we were, she was in search of bread. Fun!

Sorry for the cat hair but this was an essential part of yesterday. If I were a dude I’d hit metro on my way to work at least once a week and buy this. Teach ate the majority of it.

Fascinating.

I think I have a shirt by these artists.

Same? THIS POST IS AMAZING FYI!

Ate at The Bellevue, this is the avocado frisee. Delicious. Tasted like a stuffed potato, but without the potato and with avocado instead. Perfs for the skinny dieters out there.

Must learn and master this diana F+ by tomorrow’s tiff party. Heidi help me load it!

I went for slob chic yesterday omg I just remembered there’s loads more cute pics of me on teacher’s phone arrrg.

I tried to get the Lakeview to do a fry-less poutine for me once and it flopped, the hot gravy on the lettuce brought out too much earthy essence from the leaves, ugh. Green beans work though! Thanks Bellevue, totally going to do this at home. Add mushroom too.

teach said this one long curly woody allen haired guy kept looking at us like we were “Somebody” or maybe it was because we were fighting? hahahaa.

See? I win.

I didn’t have time to dry my hair post-wash on Friday so I had funny hair all weekend long.

BYE!

You’re my favourite daydream i’m your famous nightmare

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A Beer Story is when shit goes down at the beer store and without further ado, here is MY BEER STORY.

I made us do suicide hangover errands, one being the magical chore of recycling your booze bottle collection. We have lots of parties here and people leave their empties. We had enough for a Sapporo 6 pack awwright! I hangover-raged on an employee who then was passive aggressively sluggish and a hobo lush (this is so kerouac) behind us in line knew him by name, called it out to him while he dragged his fat lazy ass on by, to continue the chain of passive aggression like HA HA these hipster yuppies have to wait longer at the tin can boozehall rumpus room what is the Brock beer store (can we return empties in libville or not?) so I whipped my head around and scowled at THAT hobo my disdain by way of huge paris hilton glasses and ice freeze out stare which wiped the smile from her face. I felt slightly bad but not really. Then I stared at her in the two-way mirror reflection on the back of the door like a bully and she turned to stone. Before slow McFuckface went by he goes YEAH SHE’LL BE RIGHT THERE snapping at me when I spoke for the people EXCUSE ME IS SOMEBODY GOING TO HELP US Teacher braced himself for impact. I said, “She was FIVE MINUTES AGO!” She came out, said hi and seriously invented nothing to do out back to just leave us standing there for five whole minutes for no f-ing reason at all, HELLO!? I only gave that boozy behind us a face to let her know that I knew she was joshing me, I have nothing but contempt for the passive aggressive, always have. You mess with my mellow and I will make you regret it. Am I insane with pent-up emotions passionate as all F- you betcha, isn’t this blog great!

OMG HI! Happy strung out Sunday!

Set the bar

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Post show dance celebrayshe encore peep show!

The sister video to this isn’t rotated, albeit darker, and just as it gets good these other chicks show up and block my dance moves with Jasmine. It’s a minute long. You can deal craning your neck, I requested this song specifically thanks to all of Toronto’s poking fun at my alleged ainwrecking-tray ways and similarity to one notorious Courtney Love. The girl who grabs my bewbs in this video that I classily and politely allowed (but pissed me off) I totally thought was a family friend of ours I hadn’t seen in over a decade. It wasn’t her but my confusion and thinking it was bought her more drunk groping time. Girls get away with murder.

Check the smoke coming out of her mouth! I love Starlight Burlesque Troupe. So many in the city eh? Brb with a treasure trove of goodies. My godmother finally downloaded her camera’s photos, I cycled through half a year of shots of all our shenanigans and you can clearly see my metamorphosis from drunk fat bloated face to skinny slim. Awesome! It’s good to see that shit and a total lesson not to ever go back. Canadians get booze bloat in the winter.

My ska Minx nails. J’adore!

It’s still totally hilarious that my mom wore the same dress as me this night without any prior discussion.

Drawing a Nuit Blank

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rape me from raymi lauren on Vimeo.

PITCHFORK MEDIA also caught wind of it now. HUGE!

LOOK FOR ME DURING NUIT BLANCHE HERE I’ll be belting out Smells Like Teen Spirit over and over again until I throw in the towel. Gonna be wicked. The Juicebox kids invited me as a notable, we habitually engage in intermedia fuckery together (they also won a yacht fishing trip on my uncle’s boat at my 10 yr anniversary party) so I know it’ll be a slam dunkeroonie. I’m going to dress exactly like Kurt. Or maybe polar opposite and go Tinkerbell.

The above video is about 3 or 4 in the morning at the Central and I am balls to the wall obliterated, Teppei is on drums, clem is filming it and there are girls dancing all over the place. Meredith’s comment upon watching this was, how’s that feel? must feel great! It did and does. My tights are all slashed here and this was after a shift I believe. Good times that bar, my Kingdom for 8 months. The shirt is a gift from an internet admirer, it’s from UO before anyone else wore puffy sleeves, before they arrived at H&M or Lady Gaga’s adoption of it. FTW! ME!

SEE YOU SOON!

Hey Raymi!

We’ve met a few times through Exclaim / Torontoist / Juicebox. And we
won a trip on your uncle’s fishing boat last winter at that Wrongbar
party.

So we have this thing that started as a joke a few years ago and now
it’s real: we’re doing an art instillation for Nuit Blanche that
consists of us performing “Smells Like Teen Spirit” over and over and
over again for 12 hours.

http://www.scotiabanknuitblanche.ca/iProjects.aspx?zone=C&mapId=24

It’s happening at the Toronto Underground Cinema (Spadina and Queen).
Nuit Blanche is Saturday, October 1, and runs from 7pm to 7am.

We’re looking for a few BIG NAMES!!! to come by and sing one or two
reps of the song. In return, we offer the opportunity to be a part of
something outrageously stupid.

Any chance you think this is bizarre / funny enough to get involved?
The plan is to have “notable folks” sing at the top of every hour. We
don’t need a firm commitment, since it’s obviously kind of a
clusterfuck of an idea, but if you’re in town, planning to walk around
that night anyway, and want to throw your name into this mess, let me
know. We’ll iron out details closer to the date, and if you can’t make
it or just end up not showing up… It’s fine, since we’re playing the
song 144 times no matter what.

Let me know what you think!

Sam

my abuse is addictive

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Here’s an email exchange with a dude friend (Who works for the Toronto Star) and I from this morning hahaa.

Bovine looked packed! I hope it was a great show!
I got rained on at the BBQ at 8pm, —– and I were going to ride our bikes down from sunnyside, but needless to say we got soaked…
Would’ve been good if you needed men burlesque dancers cause we were WET!!!

the rain ended quickly then was dry and hot all night long. oh well.

Not on me! It rained out our BBQ then we all hid under a one of those covered areas at sunnyside till like 930, then when it chilled a bit we took off in our bikes, it rained all the way home for me, it stopped around 11.
This is just your way of saying you’re mad.

whatever i know its hard to get friends out to see you who live in the city
you think the party will last forever
but i hustled my ass off for this
we made a lot of money

I knew you would make lots of money!
The party lasts forever, fuck why not!

im not going to be 28 forever

You make it sound old… what rush are you in?
Everyone rushes for everything… just enjoy the small things.

If it’s babies you have until your 40s to worry about that.

Hahaha 40…. Well maybe not that long but get my drift?

its youth and events and a lot of work before 30
plus it was important
whatever get over it you didnt come u suck the end
you are one of many annoying excuses/reasons i have dealt with since not a big deal and it will happen again

But I told you two weeks prior that I had a BBQ, which I also invited you too as well! It was a friends birthday, unfortunately the dates coincided so I cant ditch a friends birthday bbq at sunnside planned back in early august.
Yes I understand it’s important, and that’s why I followed up with you the day of to see how its going, and leading up to it…

At least I didn’t completely fall of the face of the earth which you’ve done to me before when making plans :(

it started at 10 (my first solo), did your bbq go to ten? i dont care about rain. i took a cab there, have you heard of those?

I was stuck in the rain at sunnyside under one of those exposed roofs until 930… yes I have, but I had my bicycle.
If you want an apology, of course im sorry I couldn’t make it, why would I not want to see hot chicks dancing around in nothingness?
I’m confused of why I’m in trouble, it’s not like it was the golden ball with Roseanne, you had a sticker on your nipple, why the heck wouldn’t I want to come!!

“have you heard of those” smart ass.

hehehhhheheh you cant not have the last word too easy

I always win !

you stayed at home under a blanket with your boyfriends sucking your thumbs while i crowd surfed in a string bikini on a champagne tidal wave.

AHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH! Good one, you wish you were at home with me under the blanket, while I was sucking your ‘thumb’ creating a champagne tidal wave.

someone else texted me a photo of their wet shirt on a shower curtain. yeah ok i fully understand now! such victims you guys are lolz.

+++

Ok I am ending it there I have some “real” “work” to get to now, though, that kinda was/is work too. omg my life is bananas. Happy Tuesday/Monday ya mentals.

More like ribchest!

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My brother loves me.

Oh glorious Ribfest. So fun. I had no idea. Staycations rule. Let the good times roll.

a fox and a wild cat ring for each paw. two for 25. SO many.

More props.

the best ribs! omg! uncle sam’s bbq from new mexico. they won last year first place! there was a double line-up and ol goldilocks sauntered up the front and got a full rack. yessum.

thanks ollie! go see him tomorrow. Ribfest of burlington is the largest ribfest of all the ribfests FYI!

Rib Chest. I want THESE baby backs. lol. no rack i mean. omg rib drunk.

RAYMI WINEHOUSE FTW.

Gahahahhaa.

Had a great time getting tiki stuff from the party store. Love it there. A lot of burlesque duds too. Going back tomorrow before coming back to town. GOLDMINE!

I Have a MASSIVE MAGNUM martini bottle of champagne (thanks bob!) for us all to share tomorrow night. It’s going to RULE. So long summer but summer, forever!