Raymcation other perspective

Was feeling archival and nostalgic sometime this week and what with the crap weather I really dig my vacay shots, there are scores of them. Why not share some? Luckily in Aruba no one knows anything about Toronto so I could wear that hat freely. I can wear it in Borington too when I go running. Funny how my Playboy hat is the one I’m fearful to run in out here, that’s a call for way too much attention. Maybe I should get over myself?

Yeah no not crappening.

First day sunset.

Was pretty zonkedhausted and delirious as a result by that point. At dinner I knocked my wine glass over the linen table out on our private VIPLEASE dining terrace. It was pretty windy and I was being pretty expressive in my hand gestures, tired and looped. Aren’t Raymcations exciting?

Too bad I can’t wear hot pink sunglasses in the winter time. Too bad I can, but only at night in a night club. Funny how that works.

Baha I look almost nakes.

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Aruba by storm

Heyya hiya ho there. I’ve been going through my tons of picture folders on my computer here and was all, time to get on that To-Do list. I am choosing blogging over drinking absinthe right now so, you’re welcome. Raincheck the sazerac-tasting please mes amis, I had a draft deadline, some other unavoidable business to attend to likewise 2pm for boozing that hard might mess up the rest of the day, and gladly at that that’s why I request a raincheck pretty please. And lets not talk about drinking problems btw, lets talk about drinking solutions. TGIF.

Back to my travel stories. We took that tiny island called Aruba by Storm, didn’t we? Wonder how soon we go back? There are stray dogs everywhere, it is pretty neat and pretty heartbreaking. They are smart, travel in packs, if not alone, combing the patios and sidewalks. They follow you. Clearly I am tanked seen here petting one.

Like, why are you just standing there bro? Want to come with to the Casino? Some random drunky tourist said they’re smart because they use sidewalks, for survival. Not gettin’ hit by cars and whatnot. Oh-kay there.

Lets start at the crazy beginning shall we then.

Remember this. Wow. Lifetime ago but not really.

White t-shirt sleepover party night.

Funny and bad hair idea jeans. I just didn’t know how fragile platinum hair was. It was fun at times to be platinum but at that time in my life it wasn’t always fun times. I did what I could.

I dyed my hair and went to Aruba long story short.

Time to move on. And just because you expose your life a lot, just by having a life and living it period, it gets exposure.

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Les randumbs Aruba

So many photos, so many things have been up to, so much overkill. I have various things uploaded that I can’t conceivably mentally move passed and get some “real” work done until I blob all that shit so that’s what we’re gonna do today. Hold my hand tight!

Fun times at the back of the bus WOULD be hype if it didn’t secretly smell like pee (you keep that factoid secret or it will spread) and if we weren’t the last ones on the bus, whatever man I am not a morning person, accept that. Do you have any idea how long it takes to fill in the French Canadian bags under my eyes? Why do you think I wear nerd glasses, for fun? Fuck fun, I am old bitch.

Sorry to interrupt but look how pretty this is.

He met me with ponytails in. They were deal makers. Curling my hair makes them more his.

All the girls said what a perfect dress to wear to wine tasting. The perfectest like insisted 1000% that I had severely thought this through and mega-nailed it. Actually was freaking out over WHAT to wear that morning. I was like geez guys thanks I am over this dress so it’s nice to have people gush over it so much I got it from that goth store on Queen where I got my monster ‘kini. Steve and I were like little imps dotting people’s winovisions we were cooed and “awww’d” at all day long it was intoxicating, we had a dreamy ass time I haven’t even had time to take it in life moves so fast.

Thank god for photos. I feel like taking a week long nap though.

It’s your parents in the future past what? I like how this photo already looks vintage from my outfit and the bridge, streetcar. Good one Toronto. One thing that is disturbing and psychotic is the in-flux of trolls trollin’ me now, like if it was ever more apparent that there are bitter people out there go get happy and see them try to take you down or some of your light. It’s interesting being a science experiment for over a decade, in a blink of an eye all the time went by but it still sort of feels like day one. I like that.

Gettin’ psyched eatin’ snacks makin’ tracks. You must all be driven to the winery so you can all get pissed. I was so happy Stevesy wouldn’t have to drive, see Lohan it’s possible to NOT drive waste-casted all the time girl especially when you have enough money for drivers. But holy sheesh is he ever hot, date night tonight has been upgraded to Date Rape night.

When your gf wears a picnic dress everywhere is a picnic.

And here are some Mystery Camera™ pics of Aruba that I uploaded last week then got ADD. The two times my blog crashed last week put me behind schedule a little. You must keep pace with the events of your life in blogging or you turn in to Lloyd Christmas. Dumb AND dumber.

I’m a blond peach fuzzed tanned little monkey, or I was before I came back and went on date night every single second I was home (the food poisoning lean out diet has come to a close, sadly).


On the phone with Steve. We talk on the phone all day long in Toronto but over there you don’t get to see each other at the end of the day. We said the most insane things to each other, it was very oldschool letter jacket cry baby styles. I think by day 5 he super cracked and was like that is enough just please come home it broke my heart and made me feel so strong at the same time, untouchable and brave like I had this little secret gift with me the whole time that shielded me from nine thousand beach weddings like really come on! It was fabulousadness but then time goes by fast on vacay before you know it and then you miss it like crazy and now he thinks he gets a week vacation to even the score (nice try this was planned before I knew you bro lol) but he said he wouldn’t want to go away without me anyway so in October we’ll go away somewhere which will be good because I will probably be suicidal when fall is over. Just kidding there is too much to live for.

My nails grew because I left them manky like that all week long, they got tougher and I put top coat on them every two days like mom said.

Where the lights end so does the island.

The dark parts is just grass outback, kind of eerie. I went out to one and took pictures of the hotels and the windmill, an after hours compound pretty insane and fun nightlife. You can smoke in clubs which repulsed me.

Before or after crying my brains out on the phone to Steve, I cracked day 3 or whatever night Pago Pago VIP dinner was. He actually cracked when I said goodbye to him before I left and wrote me a note to read at the airport which I did while shivering in line from sleep deprivation and Lois read along with me I was set to embark on one wild adventure oh my dear I just got chills recalling that moment!

But bawling on the phone to Steve got me brownie points. We are in a saying the most sucky insecure things to one another contest like I like it when you fall apart for me type shit ahaha this is true love it is the greatest feeling in the history of the world.

Our little nook, The Westin was aiight I’d say. Great peeps. Too bad I didn’t do the magic show because that guy talked s about my blog (that was linked in the New York Times 3 times last week for being an Aruba investigatory journalist, mhmmm) I bet he regrets that but I hope he still edits my interview with him and uses it anyway and if he doesn’t, oh well. Lois lipped him off good though, they waited until after dinner to tell me what he said because they feared hurricane Raymi would hit. Lolo and I were walking up to a casino when she broke the news, it was a good story. I think the magic guy is just exhausted from being a magic guy 7 days a week he was also mad that we didn’t come that night like we said we would and was looking for me in the audience to saw me in half or levitate me hahaha my life rules but anyway we are on vacation bro, we had to go dancing. We had late dinners each night (so fun). Woulda been epic blog material though.

Skull pics now. These rose petals have turn to rust so I dunno, we might re-do it.

So many pics of these i cannot tell the difference from them anymore it is also adding to the cray once I get through a few of these I’ll have the ones I took last night, but only a few. I dunno why but I love hoarding pictures these days I have so many awesome sharesies but no energy, now about that nap. Or spa. Yes, spa please.

They are beautiful and so fun to shake up. Crystal Head vodka is sending us something in the mail, they won’t say what but omfg if it’s more skulls I will just die. :)

This “my junk” one’s purpose is for the ultra Little Raymi superfan. Its contents are that of my life collections of jewelry and trinkets, misc. crap and doo-dads you can just dump it all out and sort through, add to your shrines whatever. If it looks like shit when I fill it entirely I’ll just dump and chuck that crap out. Some good swarovski bracelets and things you can re-purpose I dunno! Dad I need some of your mini train people!

I always add something worthwhile to each one so that a dope won’t be like omg “SO uninspired” (jeals troll FTL). These are made with love, the claydoh one is like ten pounds now, they’re all one-of-a-kind AND actually thought-through. The candle wax one is looking amazing. And I can’t wait to develop a lighting concept for the light one, maybe I can get TPL to hook it up, CN Tower light! I’m not going to share the other ideas I have written down so I don’t blow the whole exhibition before it happens. Mr. Bates has a Skull for donation and for dranking for me also a birthday present too so we will go have a vespa ride and see him soon now that he’s retired he must be going bored mental. If you want to donate an empty skull for the cause and fill it yourself and be part of our exhibit, let me know. I have a feeling it is going to be “mad” “hype” and get some international press.

Someone’s nickname is Loverboy, I made it in to a necklace. He gave that to me originally for my key chain. I added my ribcage accoutrement to it that I never got to wear because Noah broke that necklace the first time I ever wore it out. Brian bought it for me my friend in SD who I never got to meet because he pussed out and I was hung and tired that night and just stayed in my Hard Rock Hotel room solo. That trip ruled. Ford sponsored me and I had no problem ordering room service or charging everything to my room (save for my gifts for family I paid for those) drinks by the pool and dinner one night with Sarah. Anyway that is the story of this necklace. And now here are two videos I’m going to end this post now.

Love this song. Last night it was just us two at the Cube Katwalk thing-a-ling. It was FCUK. Good time, early night. There at least. We stayed up til five watching a movie and making more skulls and hanging on the couch. Our love adrenaline keeps us awake, it’s not good but we can’t help it.

And here I am waiting for colleague with the person I had a meeting with yesterday.

Then I got my sexy on. More on that later. Stay tuned! (I’m actually doing a move here, a twist).

Dushi Queen Aruba Raymi

I bought more postcards here, stamps, two mini bottles of Brut to immediately drink on the beach cos Tray was drivin’ me cray. L I V I N’! Ready for some more Aruba Raymi hi-jinx? Gotta make it quick cos I got a hot date afterward. Someone took the day off.

Pizza from Casa Tua. Hi Victor!

It’s true, I do I do I do. I love Aruba!

I love Caribbean food too. Aruba has amazing food.

Here comes your man.

Surf and Turf godmama and I shared. YUM.

My mother takes photos of the exact same things I would had I been taking photos. I invented her. It’s such a vacay relief to not be photo snap happy ADD so I can enjoy myself while watching her take 5000 pictures instead. AND I don’t even have to say anything, plus she finds things I don’t notice too and then she does her editing finishing touches too whereas I post raw cos I am conceited like that.

This is Eagle Beach. It is tres paradise over here, less populated. We wanted to stay at this resort (we did? I’m just the kid who gets no say ever) but I liked where we stayed because there was more action, we would have fought more if we stayed somewhere serene and then all these rich normal folk would be like o_0 all week long. No thanks.

I miss these trees. People in Cali who (pretend to) take palm trees for granted are disgusting. I’ve seen it, cool story loser. I would never diss a Maple Tree like that, or an Evergreen. #Treehugger.

Baby beach. Referred to as such cos you can take little babies here, very shallow water. People snorkle.

What’s that kung fu movie they film in Canada again?

I found a turtle egg, which is the reason why we went to this beach to see turtles. We didn’t, they were busy.

The Wine Ladies had sponsored suits, holla! Proud of those girls. They got us comped VIP dinner, so there’s more work I didn’t have to do. Just show up pretty eat my face off and get wasted. Check, check, check. MATE. I emailed the Hotel btw and said I got them in the NEW YORK TIMES and something tells me this post just might too ;).

Deep fried crab from Pago Pago. I’m glad we didn’t do all-inclusive because we’d be stuck on hotel food, despite this resto being in the hotel we ate elsewhere often.

I miss this building most of all, lots, the hotel beside ours and what I’d stare at while waiting for the elevator to come get me on the 18 floor? 22? Gone memory poof.

A collision that just happened, some local drivers drive like jerks. Combine that with these stupidly merged streets and BLAM. Entire families walking to and fro dinner were posing in front of it LOL.

A guy called me a slut on Facebook (who lives in Toronto so maybe I can punch him in the face myself personally) for posting a photo of myself in this bikini. You are not a slut for wearing a bikini on vacation WITH YOUR TWO MOMS a-hole.

Ryan Paterson you’re a slut

Raymi Lauren White you’re a f-ing donkey

Raymi Lauren White blocked and reported. wearing a bathingsuit in aruba is not slutty.

Emily Foreal being in a swimsuit/naked anywhere isn’t slutty :) it just is

Raymi Lauren White ‎34 mutual friends too, some nerve. ill punch his face off in toronto.

Mum was super pissing me off at this point. I had a late night. Susanne said she was proud of me (for surviving the week) as I SPRINTED down the airport of YYZ yards and yards maybe even a kilometre ahead of Mom (& Lois, but no offense Lois I had places to be) and kept hoofing it to customs. I always S my P in customs, I had a bad experience once cos I was so nervous I made them suspicious and now I am forever skittish. Anyway, thank goodness for long legs. Also, ” So u climbed a tree ? :P” (Why is it people think they can be so rude to me all the time on les internets?) Raymi Lauren White: my mother was yelling at me to pose a certain way that wasn’t feasible and it was my f-ing idea after a long hangover day on little sleep. I snapped.

Gamblor hangover.

Gorgeous shots mom.

How much do you think I want Georgia’s suit!?

Mom and Lois discovered this stretch of beach further down with these gorge chairs and it was a little more secluded cos it was at the very end, or the tip. Lol.

I def should buy this one.

We loved this talking parrot. It loved me because we have the same nose.


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Mo Vespa mo probs

Come on you leetle beach, lets go.

Bajeelions of pictures for later. I have to work on an Aruba post though now so this was a little squeaker to get your fix sorted. No problem. Hey that’s what I’m here for.

Phenom dinner at the Rectory (for once lol) we made the kitchen with five minutes to spare before its closing. The burger was out of this world, this island. Steve eats plain (everything) burgers so when the patty is enough to impress this foodie alone, I am going to sing its praises to whomever will listen. BRB don’t touch anything while I’m gone.

Hurricane Raymi hits Aruba hearts hard

Bonjour mes amis!

There is always more. You know me.

Chocolate gravy. That is all I will say. Plus these other things too. First dinner at the hotel resto, Pago Pago, we were pooped.

I’m calling Rogers here. Oh lord lets pretend that I won’t get a phonebill next month ACKKKKKKKK.

Hot hot hot. It was really hot. I will never forget it, espesh when I look at these pics. :) That’s a triple screwdriver in that thermos, we love to drunk vacation shop. It makes for better purchasing decisions.


Where the houses end so does the island. We were truly on a very teeny tiny island it felt neat of mind, isolating, forgotten.

Lots of beach exercise walks. Loved it.

Cuts a nice fig(ure).

Everyone be cool.

Thinking about getting some ivy tattooed to this arm.

Missin ya kissin ya.

Like little dolls.

What’s up.


The second time I put my toes in the water and then no more times after that. The pool is dullsville after about one day of it and after having a cabana on the beach. Next time a party resort please a la Vegas. I want tanked chicks in gladiator ankle snapping wedges and skin tight liquid gold unitards, oh wait, that’ll be me.

I can dance better now. Or fake it as so.

Cold room, warm hearts.

I have mad lifeguard and swimming skills btw.

Fans that dropped in a lot. When I forgot I’d invited them (wasted)(getting out of awkward situation) the night prior lol whoops. Hurricane Raymi hit Aruba hard in the hearts.

Once you’ve seen one you’ve seen ‘em all. Can I please see some more please?



On the way there they stuck me in the middle seat. Mom cropdusted Lois’ face while she slept I thought a baby had crapped themselves it stank ahahahahha PAYBACK MOM.

Holdin’ court at the Manager’s party that’s how we do.

Oh Georgia.

Lois I even miss your fricking bag!

These drinks inspired our Seadoo tube adventure.

Do everything at least once. Get a million pictures of it so you never have to do it again.

Going for a run after happy hour with my bottoms wedged in my ass listening to tunes was an experience Lemme tell yeah, jumping over sandcastles and kids. Ferris Bueller’d that entire shore. Giv’er. Til next time. Tons more, tons tons tons.

Aruba Raymi signin’ off :).

Palm Beach baby!

I went for a seashell loner walk yesterday as the sun went down and listened to tunes.

Tres romantique.

Here Raymbecca! Writing your name in the sand made me cry! I was kind of drunk too haha. A man from Toronto put his hand on his heart and then that was that!

Here Arran. Your comment won because you said all the right things.

More of these when I get home. Internet is slow here.

This means my sweetheart. Mi Dushi. It sounds like douchey. Obvs I’m a big fan of it.

Can someone get me the episode of creeps already so I can upload it to youtube holy f-ing crap thanks.

These shades bring out the nose of my nose. I believe Jules picked them out. Hi Jules!

My #PBENation playboy bunny ears and made the last call of happy hour in the nick of time.

Send me your playboy bunny ears pics babes please.

Hi mom.

Fresh meat.

I want these heels mom.

We walked home after dinner, karaoke wasn’t happening. You don’t need to party all the time.

Black swan! I saw it first.

It came right to me but I didn’t have any food.

Victor (at the bar, also owner) took a shine to me (don’t they all) he’s a french guy from Montpelier and has 4 girlfriends. He said he likes “womens” like me “so much”. Raymi vortex hold on tight buddy. The food at Casa Tua was v delicious.

We’ll probably party at the mill one night.

I just told my mom I would throw a rock at her she is driving me insane. What else is new. yes I love my mom blablall lal blah but AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! How long can you handle hanging out with your mom for? This is why we drink. Lois rented us an SUV for two days we’re going exploring later on. Mom thinks she’s getting shotgun the entire time.

Gorge hotel grounds.

With these guys everywhere.

They call me mellow yellow.

Guess the foot.

I’m going to miss this so much.

Where’s Raymbo?

Best shirt ever. I need more like this.


:) :)

Sun in my eyes. Nice crotch shot.

Blaha cheeky shirts everywhere.

I can’t sand it!

Second night. My nails look way worse than this now. I didn’t bring polish. I should get a manicure.

Drink fail.

We had dinner at Gianni’s. I had a salad. I’m going to stop pigging out on buffet bacon now.

Tracey you owe me some drinks, cheapskate.

Time to go get my tan on.

I found a new job jajajaja.

Crazy cab. I was dancing to the tunes so the picture turned out this way. My mom has hilar pics of the interior.

No one knows how to take pictures here apparently.

Aruba Raymi out!