Our fanastiK hero’s mugshot frum her TubePass. Whudda Glamour Shot. the photoBoothes o’re there are wicked! This chik wif her brit accent sez over the speaker,
“Now, you realize that if you are not satisfied with your foto graff, you can select NO and start again.”
After one nite of partAying and boozin’ it up in Sutton (London) at this PubbyKlub called ‘the Litten Tree’ I had to Krash at my frend’s, cuzin’s howse and had to sleep in this bunkbed. This shot is actually very generous in making the bed appear to be bigger than what it actually is. I was drunk as a fiddler’s bitch and not even halfway thru’ a dose of E and i had to smush myself into the bottom bunk. I scratched my face and arms everytime i rolled-over frum the bedsprings sticking outta the top mattress during the nite. it was complete drunken and eFFed up HeLL. I didn’t trust taking the topbunk cuz i knew wif my luck I’d roll off during the nite and die. when i’m sober i sleep like a rock. When i’m drunk i kick and toss and talk in my sleep.
Maybe i’m a witch.
Laura, the blog posts go in order uv first to last posted in a day, so u just gotta scroll down. Like in the Forum, silly. And uv course people would read yer postings. They’re so interesting and make me all…uhm, excited. yes. this is true.
Here’s me (raymi) in Oxford. that siGn between my krotch sez, ‘please keep off grass’ or something and there i am On the grass like the eFFing rebellious bitch i’ve always been. hyuk hyuk. The tour company gave out these horrible bag lunches whenever we went out. I think i had this mango brie rye samwich and a box of juice and a flake. after this shot my frend pushed me down on the grass and made my lunch get smushed. Raymi wuz mad cuz raymi was very hungry that day and tired and Raymi needed her hangovir meal. lookit how pale Raymi wuz. that’s kuz the sun nver shined and when it did, Raymi was indoors, sleeping.
That guy had a girlfrend back home. This shot was taken at that howse party of these yanks in LondOn(uk). He was a real smart guy. I read one of his postcards home to hiz gurl. it red, “I’ve made many new frendz. don’t worry, none of them are girls.”
This iz whut i use to do when mum would let me take the day off of kindergarden. In my fantasy world I was teacher to my stuffed frendz and i read to them frum all my dr.Seuss boox and frum that one book in my hands . That book was one of like 50 in a series . it was called ‘Lets talk about teasing’ and focused on this asshole brother who always taunted the shit outta his sister and her back at him. i kood relate to that. All the other books began wif, ‘Lets talk about…’ I think we got them free in the mail cuz my mom ordered a subscription for sum magazine and they were a promo. my students had to sit and watch me drink my tea and eat biscuits and i would choose only one very lucky student to share cuz there was never enuff to go around which was too bad ‘cos i remember them all being very nice. My name was Missus Clorenchio. (I made that up). I wuz a child prodigy of sorts.
A haiku:
feeling hungOvir
tired and dehydrated
sucks on a friday
Thank Gawd for Gatorade and Beef jerky.
ughh.
b4 i forget,
I had this Effed up dreamlast nite that was so real i thought that i wasgoingto tell you all here that it aktually happened.
anyhow, it took place on this tiny street (picture one of the side streets in kensington market) and the shoppe next door to where i apparently lived , i walked in and saw on this high shelf behind all these nicknacks and stuffed animaLs A dead fat and bloated naked woman who had hollowed out eyes, reddish hair, saggy flesh and her guts were oozing out of her stumAk. I screamed and ran outside to find this guy Johnny (who in real life owns jetFuEL coffeeshop) outside wif a shovel and he sez,
“wanna burn?” and passes me a joint and i’m like,
“kool.”
and then i woke up and realized i needed sum water.
I ate a whole bag of PlanTain baNana chips last nite. Man, i had thee munchies.
