there’s this eFFing pen in my penholder of various pens that doesn’t werk and it keeps resurfacing at the most inconvenient of times when i need to jot sumthing down quick and i reach for a utensil and then this eFFing pen shows up and sez, “Ffuk you, raymi! yer stuck wif me! MooHooHahah…” and then i scribble and scratch at the paper and curse and swear like a madRaving Lunatik and the person on the other end uV the fone is disturbed into silence. darnit. ����i get delusionaL when i postpone my lunch for this long.
My baby duz the HAnky panky….Today wuz kold as a mutherfukker. I tried NOT wearing my toque cuz i did’nae wanna mess up my hair and then my ears got all tingly hot and swelled-red. Whadda Maroon i kan sumtimes be. Oh well. I attempted going to this dykeBar after work, just to see whut all this fuss is about but it wuz too early yet and the durn place wuz not even open. I didn’t want to look like a ‘foon so i kept walking up the street to this gas Station and i bought a pack of smokes. Durnit. No luck for the weak. I think it’s time i settled down a tad and got me a boyfrend or something before i go mental and revert into the catacombes of my ugly mood, forever.
Today on the train, this Guy squeezes by me and sez, “sKuse me, buddy.” So, that’s Grayt. I’ve finally sucKseeded in looking like that of a little femBoy. I notice sum women are staring at me with that look in their eyes of lust. I know it cuz i often look at things/people like that, myself. My hair iz lookin’ funny today cuz i haven’t quite figgerd out how to style this new cut. It’s flat in the back but sticks up on the top of my head. I look like a cross-breed of an 80’s punkchikk and a Peacock. I wunder if it’ll help me get laid faster.
one time i was at my cuzin alex’ house and we ate like a whole kalbasa and cut the nastiest farts thru’out watchin’ the exorcist. The next morning we made 30 lil pancakes each and watched Alien. when that cyborg/robot guy was ripped apart by the mother alien and he puked all over himself, our stomaches started to churn so we gave the 60 pancakes to her dog, max. Alex and i use to make our own musik videos of us dancing around in slutty clothes and I also got Max on film licking his ballz.
Just watched that part in ferris Bueller’s day Off where he’s singin’ Twist ‘n shout in that parade and it’s all so phony and pre-planned and unrealistik cuz all these dancers just HAPPEN to be there and in sequence with the song and there’s people doing backflips, everyone’s happy and dancing. whuddevir. it’s entertainment.
here i am, in all my slovenly glory celebrating Ward’s birfday. How nice I am. Rite now i’ve got massive munchies.
Today i woke up at 1 and ate a bowl of Kraft dinner at 2. I’ve eaten nuthin’ since. I think me and ward are gunna go fetch sum chinese fud or sumpin’ . soundz gud. we rented four movies last nite and so far have watched half of wun. meh.
Today me mum and i went shopping for ME. It wuz horrid. We skirted frum shoppe to shoppe, yelling and screaming at one-another cuz we kood not agree on the same pair of pants. SHE wanted tight, black conservative pants and I wanted baggy SpacePants. She also made me try on bras. Uggh! i stopped wearing bras a year ago and she’s worried i’m gunna start sagging. Geez, it’s not like i’m stacked or anything. My girls are still perky, i swear! Anyhow, these two ultra-fem saleschiks were measuring my bust and fitting me to bras and my mum wuz all sad cuz I use to dress all nice like them and now I have this barbeLL in my navel, hairy armpits and dykeHair. I also got new boots. Yay. In the end, no pants were purchased. Oh well. Now i’m at ward’s and we’re gunna watch The Stupids, his fav film. The heavens are dumping down snow like No tomoRRow and I don’t think i will make the jaunt down to ToronTo. I am more than looking forward to walking around my howse in Pajamas and bedHead.
I also learned toDay that I am unable to function well as a team pLayer unless i am the boss cuz i get all pissed-off if i can’t be in charge and when people ffuk up and are slow and arrrrgh! You see, everyone has a personality colour, I am green. this means that i am analytical, inquisitive, cynical, annoyed by stupid people, impatient, quietly seeking and plotting revenge, frustrated, anxious…etc and so me and the three other colours (orange : spontaneous, doesn’t think b4 speaking, Yellow : Responsible , blue : harmonious, sensitive) were assigned to build the tallest standing structure made frum straws and masking tape. We were to beat out the other five groups, each made up of the same mixture of colour/personality people. Frum the get-go i wuz mad and panikky and kept yelling at the tapeboy cuz he wuzn’t supplying tape fast enuff and i kood see that this other group wuz gaining on us. In the end we kame in second place. This whole activity wuz to see how each colour can werk efficiently and co-operatively with the others. Since i am green, it’s my duty to hate all the other colours and so it wuz evident i would be cussing and ripping my hair out the whole time. dammit, that whole activity aged me a gud 6 years.
