as is usual i have a shit ton of photos to deal with, each one is special, sentimental, reason why i can never (and refuse to) skim it down.

i was balls hung when i woke up friday morning i thought we might have to go up saturday instead that’s how bad i was. i started feeling better around 4, taking pictures of the blythe book in the car kept me distracted then i was finished and felt completely nauseous. it went away after a pepto pill thankfully. before that every time fil coughed it rattled me and i thought i was going to ralph.

i will get you all don’t worry!

i knew this compulsion was fucked up so i kept it secret for a year then i was over it. or limited it to in my mind, acknowledging every single passing object in secret.

at the slip.

whimsy.

i am in a metal hair band called HAIR and we sing songs about conditioner and wide tooth combs.

tarley and i wore matching outfits both days accidentally. until i changed out of my blue dress into outfit 3. and 4. and 5 6 7…

planning ahead.

i wanted to get pictures and video of them assembling the tent but it was up before i knew it.

DON’T FORGET THIS WAS MY FIRST TIME CAMPING STOP THE WORLD CALL THE PAPER.

so instead i ate a sandwich while rascal observed.

kaine busted that camera saturday nite at the rain dance tent party then took it apart to “fix” it.

smallest tent ever. there’s an air mattress folded in half in there, you can see it trying to explode out of the thing. i would choke on suffocating claustrophobia if i had to sleep in there.

guys are weird.

this whole yard turned into a gypsy shanty town by the next nite. pretty neat. i may or may not have overheard some carnal knowledge the second nite THROUGH MY GODDAMN EAR PLUGS.

setting up.

lovely lovely lovely. absolutely. eccentric and lovely, my favourite.

a new (to me) and most welcome addition. perfect for my competitive assholism.

wishing well.

i love cottage chic.

does this pot come in large? no? only small?

delicious pasta.

i am sentimental over these guys and i am happy they remain unlit.

HI FRIENDS REMEMBER ME OMG HII HII HI I’M BACK!!

clearly our tent.

thanks again valency (and your husband) the flight suits have been gettin’ some great mileage and their story has been told numerous upon numerous times over.

these dinks have been friends since their early teens. alex by the stove is the blushing groom and father-to-be. he is a phenomenal fanatical chef.

what a cute knocked-up mama shari makes.

it was awesome how clear these light pictures turned out. ugh.

that chicken was delicious.

i heard there was a party happening this weekend can i come?

these aren’t even close to being in order.

it blows my mind feeling something growing inside someone else’s stomach i cannot get over what it must feel like for the woman.

dinner.

nice christmas outfit fil. you shoulda got inside kaine’s tent that would have been a nice picture.

la lune and awesome clouds. we all agreed we wished we were on drugs.

buncha cousins and besties.

trying to time a jump.

crouching down to capture it you can’t tell at all.

gettin’ there.

what a tolerant woman. five stars.

by sunday we had two of those hats in our tent. fil looked like a cross between jamiroquai and r. kelly.

see? R. kelly. took me awhile to get that name out. i’m like, looks like a rapper that raped underage chicks. i forget the first guess and it likely wasn’t funny anyway. then of course no it wasn’t rape it was peeing on her. snore.

then chris came back dressed as a leprechaun.

kenny, he is in awe of you.

GET OUT OF MY FACE R KELLY!

i was talking mad shit (as usual) and totally winning til i excused myself to take a wizz. then it was all downhill from there. bocce tip: hold it in until the game is finished, that pressing tension in your bladder works in your favour and pissing afterward is your reward on top of winning.

and that was the best my hair was going to look all weekend long.

for once i wasn’t psychotically hung each morning. water water water and limited my drink drank drunks. this island is notorious for hangovers for everyone.

nick the prick on the right (also an old time friend of the boys). he told me i have an attitude problem (pot kettle black much!) i told him he had a correcting problem and he took it to heart, saying he got it from his dad and made a point to try not to do it as often. at one point everyone was arguing about sting and the police, he got on the mic and said I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE – STING IS AN ASS-HOLE. hilarious.

so midsummer’s night dreamy meets midnight in the garden of good and evil.

bedtime.

so tell me, every time i bent over friday nite this is what happened? thanks guys! those pants have gotten looser on me and i just washed/dried ‘em.

dicks.

just in case i wake up with an nauseating-induced anxiety attack in the middle of the nite. (didn’t)

phil’s loon call plus me REMINDING you this was my first time camping wow give me an award. why do i have to ruin every video by opening my stupid ass mouth? one thing i learned about camping/tenting is it kills your ankles crawling around in there sitting cross-legged and i also learned that i am a total princess and anal about getting leaves and twigs inside so you keep your feet and legs on the outside and remove your shoes ok bye i invented the great outdoors.

and now i will bathe for the first time since friday. my nose is totally lobster red and my hair, i don’t know if it is even brushable. i basically have dreadlocks, curls, and pockets of knots.

ps. leave a comment on this crap i put lots of work into it and i can see how many and who is on my blog at any given time, all you do is silently lurk then leave. RUDE. like right now there is 23 of you. before that 45, then 18, then 12, then 26 etc etc etc.

finally got around to giving some proper attention to the blythe book brosz7 gave me for my birthday and took pics of my favourite ones during the car ride up north friday. they were all styled by super fans and designers and auctioned off for charity then photographed by gina garan, the chick responsible for my blythe admiration whom also featured my tattoo on her site (scroll)(this weekend i was asked if my tattoo was a bratz doll and it was also referred to as a betty boop tattoo. ughhhh). very decent. here’s the best of the best, the rest you can check out in this set and here‘s a list of the designers along with their doll. basically this happens twice a year then they make a book of it. the attention to detail is ridiculous and the tiny couture outfits are likely worth more than a month’s salary.

i love the swollen cracked lips.

the one on the right made the cover.

I’m special.

Obsessive Compulsions and Raymi from raymi lauren on Vimeo.

I had to delete the other video i made (to make room on my camera) explaining my counting letters/words obsession. I’ll redo it another day, i know i’ve described it before and i figure it makes more sense when you just hear me say it even though the compulsion itself makes absolutely no fucking sense whatsoever which for the most part none of them do. from my own personal experience i’ve deduced that one invents or creates an obsessive compulsion out of boredom, usually due to the cause of under-stimulation or being under-challenged whathaveyou so typically it’s the brainiacs who have all these weird ticks usually (always) having to do with counting. a hell of a lot of them are a direct result of trauma or stress also. i know that it felt calming to count and it kept my brain occupied and it’s kind of a mental holiday (even though compulsions are obviously manifested in the brain) though for many (i’m sure by now you’ve heard of that show obsession) it is utter hell, they are prisoners to their obsessions, alienated and so on. my compulsions never got in the way of my day-to-day life. other than when i had a nervous breakdown. anyway, enjoy that stupid video which is dedicated to steph who is obsessed with obsessions. bye i’m completely exhausted and my hair is a total mess. first time camping OH MAH GAWD what a diva i did 6 costumes changes yesterday and never heard the end of it. hello, weather changes throughout the day plus over-packing plus booze equals the fuckin’ tickle trunk. (also packing for 3 days)

once the rain attack stopped the clouds disappeared and the heat and the sun oh man, having to leave blew anus. sigh.

woah i just clark griswolded the tent off the balcony (seriously how do you take those things apart in gailforce winds? that was ridiculous!) that shit’s all in a pile on the floor around me right now fil set it up to dry cos he packed it up while it was raining earlier today. poor fil shooting an outdoor show right now. feels like tornado weather with a sprinkling of hurricane.

watching big brother right now holy shit that blond chick is the dumbest ever. can’t tell time, if you told her it was a quarter to something she wouldn’t know what time that was. also doesn’t know how spider webs are made. why did jeremy piven just show up??? what a giant unfunny penis.

cid is totally hiding in the bathroom from the thunder and crackling lightnining and i’m sucking back a mimosa.

ps. to that troll who keeps email stalking/harrassing me, no i have not gained a ton of weight. things are actually quite skinny in these parts right about now thank you for caring and for motivating me to keep on the skeletor train. (without fail this loser emails me if i haven’t updated my blog within 24 hours. seriously. cool life guy. i’ll be MIA from the internet til sunday so you have til then to come up with another winner of an email)

this pile of gross leeches off uncle d’s women at events. gross gross gross. carly was a total cunt to him it was awesome. uncle d told him we were off limits. look at the pile of beers he bought us.

see him trying to hump dance on that chick? you humour these dudes for too long then they just push the creepy desperate through the roof. hey guy ever tried being normal?

heavy metal trash shimmy.

just a reg nite on the town with carlie. my agent. pure class. she is 15 years old.

can i take a picture of your shirt? yes. it’s uncle jessie you know from full house. i know. that’s why i want to take a picture of it.

this one’s called butterfly lunge.

all the shots you do to get up pole courage work against you once you’re up there. i am happy to still be alive.

what’s up Uncle D! i’m certain my brother and father will be very proud.

so so hung. i’m catching up on all missed big brother episodes cos i’m as demented as every person on that shit right about now. thank you.

when my brain starts working again i’ll read this. or you can for me and summarize it with bullet points in my comments.

fully missed the entire burlesque act last nite. whoops. got super involved in the paris hilton BFF saga. we actually almost cried. WINNERS.

that’s it i’m getting a pink cardi.

ps. what the hell do i wear to this wedding reception tomorrow – it’s outdoors, tented, casual. my kaftan hasn’t arrived in the mail yet and i’m too brained to shop right now i was planning on wearing it over a bikini, but it might be too cold for that anyway. i can’t pack fifty things cos there’s limited space on the boat. also my first time camping. fil bought us an air mattress.

UPDATE: THANKS FOR ALL ZERO OF YOUR OUTFIT SUGGESTIONS ASSHOLES.

god it’s past noon already. this post is going to take aaaaages, i farted around online all morning and now have finally run out of sites to lurk so here i go. fil says i have to tell you he didn’t get a chance to properly edit his photos (the colours?) so don’t judge them what? relax pill fil, they look fine. (ps. i started this at 12.17 and ended it at 1.42, just some insight into how much work actually goes into these long-winded/photo jobbers.

final photo with shit hair.

thank you fil for cutting work to photograph yesterday.

and thank you shawna for being awesome.

and rose you are the best. not a catty bone in her body that chick. i am actually having an anxiety attack in this photo. from the heat and the stupid chest strangling shirt i wore and the cape. rose was consulting me on what should be done to my hair and i was like mhhmm yep ok cool i trust you yes yep uh huh uh huh fil can you pass me my purse cool cool ok AWESOME. i was so embarrassed but i think they couldn’t tell. i really wanted another coffee (was exhausted) but knew it’d put me over the edge so i held off.

is that a kozyndan bunnyfish? i know their stuff gets printed on shirts and shoes and lots more cool shit, like a hair blade. maybe?

shawna gave me an amazing cut. gave me definition and thinned it out a little, yet kept the length. phewf. she is fantazing about giving me a super short look. one day, one day. BUT NOT TODAY.

fil got a trim out of this dealy. lucky.

colour time.

delicious red pepper thai shrimp soup from next door total score. we went there to share a wrap afterward.

so this process was going to consist of three phases which rose shortened to 2 once she saw how much natural hair i had goin’ on in that mess, patches where the black dye had faded (or places i missed when dying it myself) to my natural ash blond/brown whatever you call it, and golden bits from when i had streaks. so during the applying black stripping agent (like bleach, but not) once she got to the top of my head was just like fuck it and put it all over. saved us like 45 minutes. she decided to free-hand it in lieu of foils so it would look more natural instead of uniform patch after patch, the term is baliege? it’s french and i cannot find it online. anyway, the goal was a multi-tonal colour medley and that’s what we got.

my main concern with all this was what if it completely frazzles my hair like i did once before on a blonde ambition whim and then i’ll have to cut it all off? rose assured me, in fact, colour corrections are her favourite thing to do because she gets to 1. help out giant fuck ups (my words) and 2. gets a satisfaction boner once her vision comes to fruition. when i had my hair colour corrected once before the woman who did it was totally mean and it cost a ton of money too. i could tell she hated every minute of it and was annoyed at me. i felt like shit during the entire experience. oh well at least i under-tipped her haha (not on purpose, just ignorance). having someone who is passionately working on your mistake is, i don’t know how to describe it, you just feel really super grateful and not at all sheepish.

not to be a lesbian or anything but holy head massage skills, guy.

shawna’s friend lynsie has photos currently displayed at brennen demelo (hurry they’ll be taken down soon) and i seriously want this barbie print. need this barbie print in my life. art trade?

LOVE coney island weirdo land.

their incred spacious studio is located at 316 adelaide. they also do couture clothing reworks. the concept is get your hair did, get your outfit, then go party. you can even bring something in and they’ll alter/jazz it up for you, they’re also on twitter and quite the building empire plus have worked with gobs of knowns.

not to talk shit about other salons or anything buuuuuut i hear the industry is pretty fickle-minded, competitive and childish. not this place though, you don’t feel intimidated like you are interrupting everyone by being there, do you know what i mean? no snobs here, genuine people who are cool to boot and make you feel like part of the family.

every time i got up to do whatever i thought this mannequin was a person checking me out, stop staring eh!

for all the big mouth what is me, i’m pretty private with my pleasure experiencing, shy even. fuck off fil leave me and my tickling scalp alone!

you can pick yourself up a raymi collector card too.

yeah i know how you feel.

drying hair so phase 2 can begin.

do you remember doing your own hair when you were younger and thinking this was acceptable? thanks kurt cobain.

goodbye black.

i look like my dad.

the crappier it looks after phase one, the nicer it looks after phase two.

mutli-tonal don’t forget.

final dye has been applied now we sit for 15 minutes.

i must buy this.

fil didn’t take pics during the second rinse cos he learned his lesson.

they may be bitches. but they are skinny bitches. exactly. kind of DUH tips but evidently people need to hear them over and over and over again. similar to my diet regimen.

OOOOOOOOoooooooooooh i’m prettier, didn’t think it was even possible to top it, so is, so is. i learned from Bitch that blondes don’t have more fun. sluts do. ha ha.

you need to see it in real life to see the difference. there are some dark parts down there still but not many, and they blend well with the rest of it. i am very pleased. no more dark.

plus my hair is partially damp in these.

wheeeeeeeeeee yeah!

so not only is it lighter, it’s no longer frazzly. bonus with lighter hair you don’t have to wash it as much, i am so floored over that one. money saving, time saving, beauty. win.

I LOVE YOU ME! i know it’s not a dramatic change. meh. wanted a natural go at it. rose wants me back next week to tone it some more cos she is an over-achiever like that. i’m tellin’ ya see this girl she will hook you up and tell her raymi sent you, catch her on twitter or just call the salon: 416.301.1072 you can also email the salon and send in photos of your hair disaster to better describe what the damage is and what you want: info@brennendemelo.com – shawna is also on twitter. fil dropped his long time hairstylist for her she is that good. very thorough, methodical, takes her time, every section of hair is important to her and most importanly listens to you and follows through, unlike many stylists who go mhmm mhmm then do their own thing anyway UGH. such an artist that one and actually, her art will be the next stuff showing at the studio.

hello beautiful.

i look like an eight foot tall monster.

i’d love to be a stylist walking around in front of mirrors all day long in killer outfits.

soft soft soft.

then i put back on the anxiety attack shirt.

hot bikinis. shawna showed me one with ruching up the butt crack, very adorable (ass enhancers). the chick who designs them is a (i forget) some kind of female body-expert guru, if you come to her with your problem areas list she will custom-design for you the perfect suit.

they have shirts you wear special goggles to look at and the designs jump out 3D at you. awesome shirt to do shrooms in. actually you’d have to get your friend to wear it so you can look at him.

can’t stop staring at myself. WHAT ELSE IS NEW OMG ROFL!LOLOLOLOLZ!

place next door i forget the name of. one solid piece of wood for this table. i bet it was like $20,000.

great salon weather!

yum “slaw” has pineapple in it and i am not a pineapple fan at all.

we shared the roasted free range chicken wrap.

poor little duder got splashed.

this is the right place!

bbq chicken from martino. AMAZAAZIZING.

the boys had pizza. i also had coconut chicken soup. also delicious. their delivery is great, walk-in off the street not so much.

we’re goin’ to a wedding reception on an island up north this weekend. fil and steve had to go through a ton of old photos for a roast they’re workin’ on. i overheard some of their jokes/material. i’m funnier.

omg i looked tired as shit yesterday thanks to britt’s bbq.

looks almost ginger no? i love how my grown-out bangs look now thank you again and again shawna i feel so stupid for being stubborn. way to go aries.

cork change. we have a billion of ‘em. also an entire cork recycling bin in the laundry room from all the winos in the building. all you need is a little eye hook, screw it into your cork of choice then put a chain through and voila you stupid fucking hipster.

BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee xoxoxox!

a little bit of dark patches here and there, nothing major. goin’ back next week so rose the hair correction (ocd) wizard can lighten it even more.

i love it. brennen demelo studios is boss. they also do designer couture clothing rework masterpieces, and bathing suits. such a great scene. more on that later xoxo. thanks rose! thanks shawna for the amazing cut! i’m going to rip apart a shirt now in an attempt to copy your shirt.

no time no time no time.

hey guy, walk much?

equal parts ew and adorable. ewdorable.

happy birthday wendi!

say bye to skunk stripe hair. hope it doesn’t get frizzed out. one day when i am super duper toned and tanned i’m going to cut it all off, into a bob.

WHAT THE FUCK SASS!

thanks for the jeans lise! fil loves them cos they make him think it’s the 90s (his favourite era) and when he’s blasted he comes over to me and says those jeans bring him back. ha ha.

the cork was a hit. oh yeah a champagne bottle exploded in my purse. luckily i bagged it three times. i got three steps out the door, one down the stairs and what sounded like a gun firing inside my purse went off. fuck. if you plan to shove a wine cork into a champagne bottle, don’t travel with it.

way to go brosz7.

wanted a photo for slob chic then was like there is nothing slob about brad. maybe the “accidental” untied shoelaces, but the shoes are too clean.

hung4lyfe.

too bad i didn’t take a pic of that cupcake explosion all over your face what i did. sorry! don’t dare me to do something also, don’t drop a cupcake on my purse if you don’t want a cupcake in the face/glasses.