Author Archives: raymi

Wino Forever

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Hi sports fans! Your hero reporting live from the wine barrel bunker of vineyard estastes. I took baby out on a VIP Vineland country wine tour yesterday in Niagara “NBD” (no big deal dad) Thank you so much iYellow Wine Club! <3 Much more to share later with you. We hit three wineries and had a smashing posh good lovebird time. Here's some random pics from oh so many that I'll sprinkle out when I get time to, there is never any time. Never enough. It's Steve's day off today (every Monday) and he's dying my hair right now as I type this aww right!!? Totally. Okay lets go follow me.

Hey what is this is? (Cheech voice lol). We goofed around like cray all day what can I say that’s how we play.

I like that they put a chandelier down there, so, necessary? Hey man at the end of the world why not spoil ourselves right?

He pulled the rubber stops out like, oh my god dude you’ll get us in trubs (that’s so hot do it again ahahaehehehe).

Tres joli. What does that mean I don’t care I turned my brain off for the summer.

He curled my hair yesterday. My hair length is at that horrible mid-range point of too short and too long. It needs to have things done to it to make me not feel like the Ramones. Head bling and ponytails. It’s a lot healthier though now thanks to Stevesy. Go try him out in the salon I’ll let him put his hands on you no problem.

I ain’t threatened he only has eyes for this cow. Moo.

This is at Chateau des charms.

Steve’s ma is all about this winery. We got her a bottle. I am going to make some damn fine first impression I hope I think. Gulp. I will meet the entire family at the wedding rehearsal dinner. I hope I am nothing like Julia Roberts in my best friend’s wedding or Gaylord Focker. All women in rom coms are portrayed as annoying idiots. Maybe I will just be myself. A cliff’s notes version.

Ainsley and Jenn. Oh no doubt some it girl influencers were on the scene. Thanks again Angela for the invite I am very happy to see you living your dream (we met years ago at a supper club Gillian was running) of wine scenery.

We plucked some grapes for Bech from the last winery we went to, the organic one.

Turns out it is possible to drink wine all day, professionally, functioningly. You just stand around the sample bar and pick the one you liked best. People watching is fun too of course, and ditching the tour at points to canoodle around the vineyard.

Matchy matchy you know that’s how I do.

Some fancy chicks were flipping out over Steve carrying my Gucci purse for me. He broke ten million hearts yesterday and made all the dudes look bad. He loves that purse, even if it was just four dollars and not actually Gucci but ESPECIALLY because it was four dollars and not actually Gucci but everyone thinks it is and there’s no other purse like it. I love vintage. I also “don’t care” and will wear/carry anything.

This is how we talk to each other too. It’s adorablah. I don’t care if it makes you puke or if you have an urge to write GAY on my facebook wall. Hater.

This wino-rey was fun times. We loved the lambs. Fed them plantains. Steve electrocuted himself twice. The second time on purpose.

That dog was a jerk. Barked at us. Lamb guard dog. Mmmm lamb. Someone on the bus said they raise the lambs, yes, for eating. All the girls went awwwwwww all sad and after waiting an expert comedienne appropriate amount of time I went BAAAAAAAH (like a sheep) like a laugh-baaah. Steve lost his mind laughing hahah s-heads. Okay I gotta go it’s hair wash time brb.

Errands to do now, I’ll blog again this evening when Steve does his hair shoot. See you around town mes amis. Guess where we’re going.

I’m the director you’re the cast in my play

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On something-night we went out to Gusto. Finally.

We’ve had a couple failed attempts making it to Gusto in time for the kitchen to still be open I mean and making The Thompson’s Counter diner whatever it’s called our fave sentimental haunt for a time there. Now I have a steak place! And if they heed this bloggy request, a pesto one.

Ethel! I said there’s NOTH-EENG in your teeth! You’re fine.

This is funny. I get asked a lot about my foodieness and they’re like, Raymi, you’re a foodie? Didn’t know. No I’m not I just go out to happening restaurants in the city 7 days a week. Have you heard of that hot new one? We’re going soon. No more from Blabbington til it happens I have a habit of big mouthitis much to the chagrin of my colleague. Whatever. People lie all the time on the internet (I don’t) and so what’s a teaser of a “is going to happen” going to the harm about really. I’m starting out honest.

We were naughty. I was hosed. We love the vin rouge!

It’s quite dark in Gusto. Had to fix the pupils on some of the shots. Not this one though, why bother. Also that guy is seriously in the middle of a point in his conversation LOL.

I loved sitting beneath this Final Destination death trap. Forgot about it instantly.

The chef adored us. I caught all the line-cooks checking me out actually. Our waitor was a little grabby too. Jesus Christ am I in heat or something, chill brothers.

We had such a good time. Tres romantique. Cry count? Can’t remember. At least 3. I cried when he had to go to work yesterday morning. GRUH-OAN oh shut up! He said it’s okay he cried at the bank Ahahaallolol. I tell Rebeccugh about all our crying and she is like:

Ahaha I love that cat so much.

More hairapy please. I am dating a hair guy and I look like a termite come on here people what’s the idea see! Poppycock! I just said all of that out loud. Steve says I should have my blog on tape, read some of my posts for you. Give me some posts you’d like to see me read all fired up for you and I will! Raymi Audio!

Love grilled bread. Too bad carbs are the devil. Once in awhile if it’s ultra thin and glistening see-through with olive oil ah ma gaaaaaaaaaaaad.

On a scale of ONE to Jewish, I’d clock us a hard eight.

So Hostel, and yet so cozy. J’adore.

Your parents on Date Night. Back to the Future.

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stalk to the hand

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Nice minx tat crop.

I just had to stop him. I should have given him my card for his facebook. Oh well.

Playboy energy drink is our jam. I’m getting two more cases of sugar free cans yeah buddy. It’s our pregame drink and Raymi’s day time crash pick me up lol. I like busting on energy drinks cos that’s what the older backstage vip generation all consume cos they get tired. I am caffeine addicted. A lot of city people are.

I threw his stick in to the water cos he pissed me off (not really) but also when I misbehave I get more attention. It was pretty hilarious though and unexpected.

Love makes you do insane things.

I felt I was pretty MJ here. A duh.

Mhmm. I did a bit of Fred Astaire too. I tripped many times on the boardwalk, so embarrassing.

Historical ruins.

Ahh hipster beach.

Thanks for the beers agency bros! I was like WE ARE TASTEMAKING RIGHT MEOW.

Very fun beach date. Steve was stoked. Made me look all romantical and shit, and the rectory, home run.

 

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I’m a bloggy girl in a party world

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So Tuesday nights are for CUBE-ing. Rooftop Partio fashion show, feel me now? I and my homies get to be the guests of (dis)honour cos my BE-F does the hair for the models. Sometimes they are boy, and sometimes they are girl models. Not many summer nights left so that’s where I’ll be erry Tuesday if you want to join in on the shenans and you’re in my crew, you let me know I ain’ts got time to track all your asses down. My nail run is pretty good btw. Hope I don’t jinx it.

Everyone loves my purse, I get bored of things quick so I’m always pleasantly surprised when it gets a compliment. Best 4 dollars ever spent.

Raymbecca is hanging with Craig now which is great because they are both the most stubborn people ever it makes full sense AND they are both close friends of mine PLUS I get to take credit for them meeting, dynamite boom you’re welcome. I told her we are in a couple’s-off cos she has all these dorky photos of Craig on her FB like him throwing a rock in to a lake at sunset agahahaha Me and Steve are fully gay so I don’t care how angery this post gets them.

I look like shit here he does not so I will be a nice homeboy and blog it anyway. I was MENSTRUATING through my goddamn face it looks like. I might draw a rabbit head over my head probably remind me. All I know is he is smoking hot and aww yeah buddy!

Dear Frankie, your lingerie is to die for. Get all over my body asap. Help me pick out some pieces Little Raymesies.

Wanted to take Booboodoodoo out on the town, fancy town. She’s a Rosedale girl anyway so these are her people. She delighted the entire rooftop we are very proud of her. She’s just our little Jules, she gets some good burns in on ol Auntie Raymbo though. Can you guys please flipping tell me what night to book off for her party so I can arrange a pisnatchio cheesecake pick-up too GOD HOLY HELL WHY DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING.

I was still in a bit of a pissed off mood from the day and my peer-E-ood. Some of the models had a bit too much of a cocky swagger, attitude, we could smell it to high hell.

Sweet bods though. Tone down the hot shit vibe please, that goes to everyone up there on that patio. Say it with me now: h-u-m-i-l-i-t-y.

That dress would look amazeballs on me. Bech and I tried to see between her legs when she was in this teeny thong but an annoying guy was right in our way blocking it, I have a video of Rebecca yelling at him I think. He never moved, was too drunk to hear us. We stand behind the couches and go through drank tix like cray VIPLEASE cool stories that we are.

Jules’ face matches my shirt. ADORABLAH! To be 20 (not for long sucka!)

Rebecca has to learn how to use my camera when we are up there and get a photo of me ALL OF ME. Maybe colleague wants to come some night?

Anyway until that day, bathroom pics it is. It really bothers me if I organize the night and I don’t get any nice pictures of myself. #DIVA.

 

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my blog exploded yesterday

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I love this cluster the most. I talked to the pez owner outside, I go, you’re the collector aren’t you like I was Michael Douglas and he goes yeah, I am. Calf tattoos give away everything. Especially calf tattoos of pop art kitsch toys and superheroes. I asked if there was one elusive Pez he was after and do people give him all this pez now, cos it’s “a thing”. He sighed and went, yeaaaaaaah. Anyway the one he is after is a mr. potato head with moveable pieces and it’s hard to find one nowadays with all the parts intact so lets find it for him Little Raymis. A mission should you choose to accept it. I bet we’d get breakfast for life. Or brunch cos I don’t do mornings. Fuh-uck no.

If I call you Gargamel it is because you are being an a-hole. Family burn. Shut up Gargamel!

Look what I get to eat with when I am looking like a Gargamel.

He eats buckwheat pancakes fake bacon and chocolate chips. Sadie’s is a granola haunt, no meat or booze. Fine. Lol. I’m sitting there all trainspotting greasy hair in a booth, we usually vespa over and by usually I mean one time before this but who can tell time anymore who cares SUMMER OF RAYMI.

I just got my period too! I sang I’m not pregnant to the tune of I want candy. Try it sometime, super fun!

Peanut butter smoothie and some spirulina added (I think? I wasn’t listening) and it was insanely good. Our waitress was Finnish, she was unique looking, beautiful, wearing a kerchief and short hair I had several me as waitress in diner fantasies thanks to it. Her voice was very cute. I pictured her being our maid as well and/or housemate and making us pancakes at home lolol I am just making this shit up right now guys kidding maybe kind of sort of.

Anyway speaking of maybe kind of sort of brunch can be a dangerous thing, people per chance are hungover during it and they’ve done their daily (bathroom) business maybe or are about to and you look around at some of the people like oh he’s about to blow for sure.

This omelette was the tits.

Then we went to Kensington market while Steve‘s stomach spasmed in cramps and I was like I don’t want to do this if it’s not fun I didn’t even feel like going to the market but it felt like you had to otherwise hipster yuppie day off couple guilt would sink in and then you start snapping at each other. Buying lots of junk from every store you hit helps stifle that. I tried on all this stuff at the Japanese import store and nothing looked good and that’s when I started wigging out but Steve was well ahead of me at that point anyway and then I was like this activity is coming to an end. EVERYONE was annoying, I think it was cos of the holiday hangover, post long weekend blues. Welp no one Raymes on MY parade and gets away with it.

By nightfall we were cool as cukes. Makes you wanna _______.

Ps. thank you Unite! This is my second haul of this product. Shannon at Redd hooked me up back in da day (3 years ago) when she started sponsoring my head. She did my Raymi Winehouse updo for my 10 Year Blogiversary party.

Anywhoo. Unite you’re my pro stars I look forward to rippin’ it up with you in San Diego. SD was one of my summer highlights last year spending 4 nights Solo at the Hard Rock Hotel. I’ll show Steve those posts when he gets off work. I’m prob 140lbs or so in that video.

Love my kitty ear ring.

Exactly.

Team Yay Cray tales comin’ right up. Have a nice lunch.

ps. my hits are insaneballs high at the moment, there are 4 possible/combo reasons for this. Hope my blawg doesn’t tank again today but if that’s so or ever happens go to my tumblr instead of the crazy house.

One more thing, please donate a crystal head skull if you want to be part of something cool. Dan’s people contacted me yesterday. Fingers crossed for big tings.

Put it out there and don’t be surprised if it comes back to you my friends.

Made a list last night of all the concepts we have in the pan for the other 20 skulls! So stoked.

The first pink one! Tried to do Hello Kitty pink. We’ve also used olive oil to try to make a lava lamp. It kind of worked. They’re going to be made to be played with and purchased. I’m going to fill one with luxury chocolate. Yes for eating. We have a cork one that we’ve been adding other random junk to. I won’t tell you what the others are though because I am not stupid. Okay fine one will be buttons and other gems from my mother’s vast antique collection. Dad do you want to make one too? We are doing one for Dan Aykroyd especially also.

BRB is the place to be.

Shopping haul

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These Steve already had. I thought they should be included too.

I’ll pay you back with more blog love tomorrow. The internet asploded yesterday from my blog going viral. I tanked a server. I rule therefore I am. I think? See you on the couch Thrillhouse.

Dushi Queen Aruba Raymi

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I bought more postcards here, stamps, two mini bottles of Brut to immediately drink on the beach cos Tray was drivin’ me cray. L I V I N’! Ready for some more Aruba Raymi hi-jinx? Gotta make it quick cos I got a hot date afterward. Someone took the day off.

Pizza from Casa Tua. Hi Victor!

It’s true, I do I do I do. I love Aruba!

I love Caribbean food too. Aruba has amazing food.

Here comes your man.

Surf and Turf godmama and I shared. YUM.

My mother takes photos of the exact same things I would had I been taking photos. I invented her. It’s such a vacay relief to not be photo snap happy ADD so I can enjoy myself while watching her take 5000 pictures instead. AND I don’t even have to say anything, plus she finds things I don’t notice too and then she does her editing finishing touches too whereas I post raw cos I am conceited like that.

This is Eagle Beach. It is tres paradise over here, less populated. We wanted to stay at this resort (we did? I’m just the kid who gets no say ever) but I liked where we stayed because there was more action, we would have fought more if we stayed somewhere serene and then all these rich normal folk would be like o_0 all week long. No thanks.

I miss these trees. People in Cali who (pretend to) take palm trees for granted are disgusting. I’ve seen it, cool story loser. I would never diss a Maple Tree like that, or an Evergreen. #Treehugger.

Baby beach. Referred to as such cos you can take little babies here, very shallow water. People snorkle.

What’s that kung fu movie they film in Canada again?

I found a turtle egg, which is the reason why we went to this beach to see turtles. We didn’t, they were busy.

The Wine Ladies had sponsored suits, holla! Proud of those girls. They got us comped VIP dinner, so there’s more work I didn’t have to do. Just show up pretty eat my face off and get wasted. Check, check, check. MATE. I emailed the Hotel btw and said I got them in the NEW YORK TIMES and something tells me this post just might too ;).

Deep fried crab from Pago Pago. I’m glad we didn’t do all-inclusive because we’d be stuck on hotel food, despite this resto being in the hotel we ate elsewhere often.

I miss this building most of all, lots, the hotel beside ours and what I’d stare at while waiting for the elevator to come get me on the 18 floor? 22? Gone memory poof.

A collision that just happened, some local drivers drive like jerks. Combine that with these stupidly merged streets and BLAM. Entire families walking to and fro dinner were posing in front of it LOL.

A guy called me a slut on Facebook (who lives in Toronto so maybe I can punch him in the face myself personally) for posting a photo of myself in this bikini. You are not a slut for wearing a bikini on vacation WITH YOUR TWO MOMS a-hole.

Ryan Paterson you’re a slut

Raymi Lauren White you’re a f-ing donkey

Raymi Lauren White blocked and reported. wearing a bathingsuit in aruba is not slutty.

Emily Foreal being in a swimsuit/naked anywhere isn’t slutty :) it just is

Raymi Lauren White ‎34 mutual friends too, some nerve. ill punch his face off in toronto.

Mum was super pissing me off at this point. I had a late night. Susanne said she was proud of me (for surviving the week) as I SPRINTED down the airport of YYZ yards and yards maybe even a kilometre ahead of Mom (& Lois, but no offense Lois I had places to be) and kept hoofing it to customs. I always S my P in customs, I had a bad experience once cos I was so nervous I made them suspicious and now I am forever skittish. Anyway, thank goodness for long legs. Also, ” So u climbed a tree ? :P” (Why is it people think they can be so rude to me all the time on les internets?) Raymi Lauren White: my mother was yelling at me to pose a certain way that wasn’t feasible and it was my f-ing idea after a long hangover day on little sleep. I snapped.

Gamblor hangover.

Gorgeous shots mom.

How much do you think I want Georgia’s suit!?

Mom and Lois discovered this stretch of beach further down with these gorge chairs and it was a little more secluded cos it was at the very end, or the tip. Lol.

I def should buy this one.

We loved this talking parrot. It loved me because we have the same nose.

YIKES.

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