Oh I’m not a reality tv star? Pfft. Okay then, I am a blog star so much so that reality tv wants me. How’s that? And if a had a nickel for the THOUSANDS of people who have told me I wasn’t famous I’d like, have all these nickels (Beavis joke). I think tons of people talking shit to you means YOU ARE FAMOUS. Also I have a video of one of the producers asking me what it feels like being a reality tv star as I whiz by on my longboard with the go-pro clipped on to it to get POV and shots of my chins from below plus two other camera guys… so just because I deigned to say something nice about the network that my friend/colleague said doesn’t mean you have to cry about your show getting no blog kudos on my stupid blog, kay? Nice professionalism too “can’t stand me?” look in the mirror woman because it’s yourself who you can’t stand. Money is a trap by the way try-hard do you think anybody honestly cares how much money I have or that it matters.

I bet you would love to cast my mini Raymi niece then too since you work with such intellects as 14 year olds day in and out. She’ll be 14 in September. Time flies, ah ma gad. It’s neat that my brother took the parenthood plunge before me cos I get to see how it all goes down and come out unscathed as “crazy aunt Lauren” now upgraded to “coolest person in the universe aunt Lauren” (with a little bit a-cray I’m sure) after our visit with the girls yesterday and the day before that.

Steve and I took them for gas station snacks (mom and Lois were hungry) then I went to Tim Hortons for muffins and donuts and overheard a guy say this about a girl, “Talk about a hot mess, no, not even hot, more like luke warm mess.” Then repeated it 3 times and I resisted the urge to turn and ask for him to point out who he was talking about.

Then we saw two hot messes in pizza pizza they were holding their donkey heels that all young chicks wear out now like it’s a runway (how kids get off my lawn do I sound right now?) and the girls went 1 2 3 THANK YOU FOR THE PIZZA and our hearts melted. We cruised around for a bit to give them a thrill and accidentally went by MTV and they flipped out. I had to recount my MTV Creeps experience for them too because of how much of a non-reality tv star I am.

My mom has way better pics. I was so beat tired from dinner at Weslodge that my pupils were dilated like so but everyone’s appears to be too in all the pics. I am always tired and hung when mom comes to town, it’s the city and that is life deal with it or move to the prairies (god I can’t wait to live in a remote cottage someday).

I explained the history and lore of Jarvis Street to them. It’s a Raymazon look! Also acceptable photo caption Welcome to the jungle.

Lolo spoiled Hailey too. Good. My mom invented this (one-sided because I truly do not care, I’m her aunt not her sister) competitive wedge between Hailey and I for her own deluded amusement and it’s fun to see them try to wind my gears up and all’s it takes is one little cuddle from me to mom to get Hailey going LOLOLLL don’t mess with aunt Lauren bro! Hailey’s friend was rocking herself in the corner because of all the chaos. My eyes became big in horror at the sight of an outsider looking at my family that way (why am I thinking about running with scissors right now) and was like quick okay lets go down to the car before she wigs out!

Back to school back to school to prove to my dad that I’m not a fool. She goes in to highschool this year, oh man! it’s going to get intense. My bro is pretty chill about it though and Hailey is a good kid, she might be a little too smart I’m not sure about that yet who knows what Raymi trickled down to her (so far tons maybe) cos Robin saw her and my mom by the pier and Hailey was dancing and leaping around and taking pics and whatever and Robin goes that is SO RAYMI.

I have a distinct memory of holding her as a baby in my arms in my bed in my teenage room to relieve whoever had her last and that gentle baby way, she was crying and we had run out of options so I got all of my jewelry boxes and music boxes, wound them up and she became calm and content and we fell asleep. I just burst in to tears I never told anyone that story before. The music box that worked best on her was this pink victorian paper person that danced in a white wooden painted box, a very old fashioned toy my mom tried SO HARD to make me feminine my walls were covered in girly lilac wallpaper I hated and covered in rock posters because I thought it was wussy anyway so I had a lot of girly trinkets and crap and they came in handy that one night I was doing homework lying down in bed and my mom brought Hailey in to me. It takes a small village they say. Or a funny farm in our case. As far as I am concerned Hailey is my family’s greatest accomplishment so far.

She’s pretty quippy and smart and this is exactly when it begins, your parents become amused and entertained by your intellect and funny humour but then it becomes permanent and they hate you until you’re 18, good luck. I’ve seen some wicked moody teens my god. Thankfully Hailey isn’t or won’t be like that, she’s a joy to be around and play with and is in to all the weird zany antics my mom and I do, ring leads it like we’re Moonrise Kingdom

I don’t mind not being the only princess what I do mind is not being a kid anymore or having a model body that that kid is gonna have and I am already psychotically protective world-weary of though everyone else in the fam seems to be chill about except for me so I will drink a glass of relax.

Also, I did not look cool when I was 13/14. I was getting there but it was tough especially up against CrayTray cos she hadn’t got her groove back yet and thus I had to hide all my skanky le chateau swagger but out at the mall sometimes she’d flip a little over how I’d get looked at and of course I walked like a hood rat skit if I could manage it, plus some Ghettovale style too shout out to my home-dawgs baha. I think I am so tough because of Mississauga sorry, I mean “street”. That shit pays off. While Steve, he is Etobicoke-style street. Ahaha. The closer to the airport we get the more rough we may be, I think Brampton has its own hashtag on twitter that is pretty jokes and a cool chick from the ‘saug and I are going to become IRL friends and I bet when we hang my dialect will get all regional with her like in How I met your Mother. That sentence was so sick I have to tweet it. Her name is Anum, I don’t think I’ve had a brown best friend before and she dresses like Mr. Dressup meets MIA aka perfect.

Hot tubs and iphone flash = frenemies. It’s okay it makes it less racy. Phew.

Lifeguard on break.

We really needed that hot tub soak holy toledos it was ever so relaxing and there were other mellow folks sitting around it was a staycation and cos I’m local, the expert who got to talk about themself the whole time hi lady from, where was she from Lois? She was talking about “the Toronto shooting” like it was super interesting I don’t think I’ve ever had an out loud conversation about it before everything I learn about my city comes from the internet and real life and I don’t give in to the news hype. When we turned on City Pulse yesterday they all screamed over an amber alert holy shit relax the world is still moving around you I don’t know what they were slowly expecting to read tickering by the bottom of the page but it really annoyed me at the time that they wouldn’t stop talking all at once about it.

I am bloated therefore I am.

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I can’t do this alone don’t make me

Yesterday I ran around all day doing errands it felt and because I am a blogger things take longer like, getting offered free lunch when I was intending to starve all day on coffee like I normally do. I think writing this last sentence just broke me of my blogger’s block. Remember when I said I’m a blogger not a fighter I thought a smart person would say you’re a blogger not a writer. It is good to know that there are no actual smart people on the internet and nobody said that to me and got my feelings hurt. Phewf. ps. I have Lohan freckles. Only on my face though thanks to the sun.

There is no way I could wait til fall to start using this clutch, also, it matched my dress perfectly. Steve was like go with pink I was like no way Steve.

So I had a me-day. Why not. Sometimes you don’t gotta blog man. Those times we call, hangover. Man I wasn’t going to talk about how hungover I am today but who cares, we had date night and cube back-to-back so it was defskies a PBENAYSHE kinda day. Even when I am not working I am working, documenting, walking around in a circle while on the phone I think we will need a family phone plan based on our phone habits. He’s at the salon all day and calls me on his smoke breaks omg he’s calling right now and is singing red red wine to me lol okay balcony break brb. Hi I am back wow look at what Playboy said on twitter about me today I feel like Rihanna, my life is a dream life it is getting nuts!!! Good thing.

PBE also retweeted one of my quotes from my Raymi Bunny Bio that will be blogged on the Playboy Tumblr very soon. They told me their network will be exposed to me, broadcasted to their 33,364 facebook people omfg. Then in October a projected Raymi boom might hit when I get blasted on Cosmo TV’s network a friend/colleague said is a super good network so I am on pins a little bit. You think all kinds of funny things in this head space like I wonder if I get famous enough will Chadvil ahah Chavril I mean but I prefer Chadvil. I bet he has pain resolving Chadvil effects on Avril. I have to finish the thought, will we get invited to their wedding?! #GOAL. Tyler Stewart you better go too! It is our Canadian Nationalistic duties to. I will be caught up to you by the time they marry or break up.

My Aruba beach Caribbean sea collection. Yes I miss that place! I will tell Lois we should def go back in the fall I wonder if Victor will have his new palace rentals built by then for us. That’s Aruba money too I wish I kept more of it I dumped a huge handful of coins in my mom’s hands at the airport when I was desperate for a pop after my Academy Award winning diva tearsplosion when we were informed we might not get on our plane of the ghetto airline that seems like it flies once a day, Lois thought I was faking it. Oh no way man I was ready to leave that island I missed Steve like a mental patient misses freedom. Anyway mom I want my coins back. If you sit on this smoking nook you get to play with my coral.

Sorry my face looks like a diamond? Not sorry? What? I need to make more money so I can hire someone to do my blogging for me or do the other stuff I don’t want to do so that I can focus 100% on blogging, there is just too much to do and I am too easily distracted thanks to social media and email volume, tumblr, playboy, lifeing it up, events, acute hangovers. Maybe I will just drink less there’s an idea bozo. Okay we will be boring starting tonight. Promise. Save for an opportunity to rip it up with an A-List celeb, no drinky tonight heard it here first. And many times before that too.

One of my internet besties painted this of/for me, I have awesome Little Raymis I truly do. One day we will meet and hang and maybe go to Burning Man together, go check Liz‘s blog she is amazing and in to thparkles and rainbows and hoola hooping and crafts and has a handsome tattoo’d husband and she blogs her entire life hardcore like I do, she’s a sister for sure! Also please tell her to get the fuck on twitter already so I can insert her in to my network and increase my following and while you’re at it Little Raymis please stalk to me on twitter too, get in before I turn in to even more of a minor cewebrity. “Just saying”. I am also in a race with Crystal Head vodka to get to 4000 REAL followers asap. Or maybe I should just buy some like everybody else? Yeah right, that’s desperation.

Raymi is real, in fact, so real, that maybe, Raymisrael! That’s for all my Jewish fans you’re welcome.

Some more of what I accomplished yesterday. Steve is in love with his bag so much SO MUCH and a guy on the street stared at it when I had it on my back at the lights of King and Bathurst. He became positively mortified by his own stupid bag and I recognized the look of influenced all over. his. face. Do you like my gay fashion writer bougy persona? Me either. I hate being mean. It’s just that I felt like a straight baller with that hot doctor Miami Nu Vintage bag slung over my shoulder. Now lets go play nurse. I love Tarek, he’s just like “Do whatever, you’re good organic.” about my bloggy it girl style. Thank you so much by the way Tar-Tar (which I ate last night because I am fah-bulous) I think the Holiday purse for Madonna is a fantastic idea. Of course I sang-songed it “hol-i-day-ay!” you know I did.

:) CONGRATITUDE! Raymism of the Day.

More productivity from yesterday.

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I’m not scared of pole-tergeist

He let me start the thing meep meep and yes I am scared of that movie btw is scurry shit! Plus the girl died from something cray and all these spooky things happened on set if you watch the behind the dvd scenes that little munchkin woman who plays the clairvoyant red haired George Costanza’s mother with the squinchy voice talks about the little girl ooh shivers.

Anyway, Shannon is going to have a massive POLEtergeist Halloween party YEAH BUDDY! Maybe I can perform my pole skills at it as a hybrid burlesque pole-formance piece and we’ll charge admish. You guys just witnessed a lightbulb flicking on. I love when thoughts become things. I made a Poletergeist pun and Shannon was instantly like HALLOWEEN PARTY! I like creative people, thrive off and require them.

Someone said I was hotter when I was fat. Well there is some fat bro, enjoy!

Stripper moms!

We were all remarking on how funny it is to dancercize at Brass Vixens above the afterhours place everybody knows (Shhhhhh) downstairs. Makes you feel more normal about being a party machine. I saw one of the lofters from U8TV down there once years ago it was the lofter who looks like Slater from Saved by the Bell. I put whoever or whatever I was doing on pause, bee-lined him, told him all this super meaningful stupid crap and he was like, woah. Then I immediately went back to the person I was givin’er with (a non-op trans obviously)(who ruled btw) and kept away from Mario Lopez-look-a-like why the hell is he down here superstar. That is how starstruck I get. I do the opposite of what everybody does in situations always and that is how you get ahead in life. Turn off the fear. Do the thing so that then you can tell everyone you did it. On your blog.

The night before. I was not planning to go out and also didn’t know that they were (sneaky bitches) but thoughtthe kiddo is going away for forever after all why not hit the central vortex, why not. Steve needed to experience it so that all of my stories will make sense. Don’t you love when you start dating someone and they tell you all these stories starring all these people and then you get to walk in to one and he’s like THAT’S THE GUY WHO BLABBITY BLAH and this is the place where I fell down the stairs RIGHT HERE well I wanted to give that gift to Steven because I am nice like that. We got home at 5 or 6 in the morning whenever the sun was starting to come up. I knew it would happen. I can only do a Central shit show like once a quarter baha.

Then even earlier on that day after Magic Steve got off work earlier than usual he took me out of writing prison for a cruise on the vespa to get some sun because I stayed inside all day going stir cray, balcony cray. I needed to eat as well. We go to Sugar Beach each Saturday it seems, easier than going to the island just hop on the bike and get a burger and fart around in adirondacks til the sun goes down and we go home for a nap and a bath and a blog then a zzz. Maybe I should make a virtual calendar of our schedule to make fun of.

Saturdays I usually rip it up au natural too, freckles ‘n all. Steve freaks over them guys are so cute that they like you when you’re all gross, they like to sniff butts, hilarious! HA sorry (not sorry).

Blog spotted at the lcbo too in line I played it cool no worries, that chick was super sweet I love when people say hi to me when they recognize me I hope it happens in front of Hailey on Thursday maybe I can set up some people at random intervals to walk in to me and make me look cool. Actually some days errands take over an hour longer from all the people you bump in to around town. It makes life fun it really does, I think the city needs to be less isolating and more people should be friendly and say hi to one another.

I also like my down time, alone time, don’t get me wrong. I was criticizing and analyzing this dude the next umbrella over to Steve cos he was getting wasters and very opinionated like he couldn’t shut up it was funny and he was such a dink too. I love people watching, period. Just put any thing in front of us and as it walks by, analytical take-down. Gay dudes are the best at this I love hating with them.

These shorts are a bit Rhythm Nation.

I’d make for a fun Raymi the Minx action figure no?

Love in an elevator! Feeling me up when I`m going down! Is that the lyric?

Clem said if I was working at the Central in a year’s time then I had failed. What about drinking at the Central in a year’s time lol? I quit after 8 months. Then I started making blog bank. You must remove the safety net and jump!

And now get the heck out of here before you turn in to one of us kid. Lol. I can remember being 18 in Brooklyn hanging out with 29 yr old bros. so I understand the accelerated youths but it still blows my mind. I’m like Kaptain Kangaroo anyway I think a fig newton would even hang out with me? Sure.

Oh what a night, lots of laserbeam eyes because The Central is a cavern bathed in darkness you be careful now. I am never careful I turn in to one of my best alter-egos at the Central called RAYMIAC. I think I told off three thousand kids and yeah, it was pretty awesome HA.

What? ok.

What? ok. Raymbecca!

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smile in the nightclub wouldn’t in the street

Here we go now smilers, happy Saturday. I am in writing skitchen all w/e long and going bizzoinkers. I’ve been really stressed out lately and busy, moving, unpacking, “recovering”, blabbity blah so I’m dipping in to the bloggy thing for a minute to recharge, get out some adrenaline/anxiety, catch you up on your fix ya junkies.

This was after dinner at Lee. I will get to that part. Of course every inch of the way was captured. Steve is going to roast me in form of guest blog post soon btw example: “Dating a blogger is very hard.” Oh shit.

Bradley Cooper ooh ooh.

Such a Jem pose, cheesy, don’t care.

I really love my Dear Frankie duds. I don’t even want to wear them I like them that much “special occasion purposes only” but I wore the bandeau bra out today while biking. I love fancy lingerie makes you feel more in control of your woman stuff, hotter, legit hot like a girl out of a cosmo spread having a pillow fight with her perfect model boyfriend whee thanks DF.

There we go that’s fun.

Here I am like oh look and then we will put MY brand on THEIR brand and then we will be billionaires. Basically.

Dinner baby and boy was I ever a baby. Steve got us a bit tips before we got there, and long story short I was like I have to eat now we have to leave now like when dudes are hungry how they get super moody lets not talk until the food gets here nuts, that was me plus worky things and just non-stop interruptions. When you change your life and dump it on its head everybody wants to talk to you about it and then you re-form bonds here and there, things generally get busier, you are gossipping your balls off 24/7 plus your events and typical city girl worries that seem to take up a lot of time/headspace/omfg lets eat or I am going to put on a straightjacket. The shorter version of all that simply, “was I ever a baby” but it was alright no biggie, kind of indulgent to cry in restaurants. I’m a fan.

What’s up guys.

Mini hamburgers and hot dogs “that is what”.

Einstein is spinning in his grave.

SWOON. I want the Dear Frankie dress for around the house now please!! The spanxy thong will come in handy for all the cake I’ll be eating over the next 3 days lol.

The tables at Lee I love. I’ve only been once before and I think I felt like I really had to explain in minute detail why it was okay to annex the place back from the one previous experience I had dining there.

Which is how we select where we eat and habit, based on past dates, good experiences, never been there before and if so was it just a platonic thing, was she a tramp, how crazy was she and how did it end we are hilarious. Then we tell the story and then make it so that person is as disgusting as possible compared to you THEREFORE you are the winner the end lets get a bottle of wine glug glug glug.

You best balee that shit was romantic.

I was worried he wouldn’t be able to do the slaw but he could would and did, loved it.

They mash it all up for you, it’s delish. I love cilantro. Lots of dudes hate cilantro. Massive eye roll. It tastes so fresh like freedom, you don’t like freedom? Cool.

The spicy tofu, meh. Well yeah alright but I’m like bean curd why bother why not filling it with something actually delicious like not bean curd.

I had two and made him have four. He’s picky but then he eats weird things stop fucking with meeeeeee! LOL. ILU. So much!! Your iphone alarm clock is playing bongos right now what are you a drum circle omg wake up.

Love the table so much. I love lamp.

If you make a big deal about taking my picture this is the face you get. And if I ask you to do it again, do it again. #diva. Everything was pissing me off. Ps. chopstick skills? That’s right bitch.

These jerk pork ribs weren’t pissing off I’ll tell you that.

The diver scallops were aiight, delicious, but I was getting full because I hadn’t eaten really that day and if you wait too long you make the dude eat the rest.

Speaking of, look at my slice of heaven.

Wearing that vest too ah ma fricking god I am going to go snorgle the crap out of that right now to be continued bye bon weekend.

Steve said I looked gangster with my little yellow neon band-aid.

So then I punctured my heel in to some styrofoam street garbage to manipulate him in to thinking I was adorable. Worked. I should write my own “The Game” right? He has a copy of course, he’s mad I want to read it over the wizardy one he went out of his way to buy me before Aruba lol. I am not a wizard, I may play one in real life but I like assholery in literature, I like pieces of shit jerkoffs I will leave the nice guy stuff up to Steve.

I noticed my two favourite fluorescent colours on these pipes and said we must turn back.

Worth it.


We had a good night.

This post licked sorry, weekends are a write-off.

Hope you’re having a good summer. I’m off for a stroll with the man and some grub then some pole dancing, awooooooo!

I will kill you with stupid

On Sunday bloody Sunday the girls plus Steve and maybe Craig will be turning in to Magic Mikes at Brass Vixens Studio on Queen which is so conveniently located btw I love making new Queen west merchant friends I can visit when out on a run and colleague says if I start going there regularly I’ll get insanely wicked abs. SOLD.

Me talking to Nicole, she showed me this mermaid-themed party poster for an event also under the sea themed and I was like did we miss fake prom already? She said we haven’t who’s to know? The facebook event page there’s a clue Einstein. How much do you want a tutu? I have two of them I’ll bring Sunday. We have one hour for a private party for Jules. She’s leaving us for SF also it’s her 21st birthday too! Can you say RAGER!? Even though I am all raged out I will live to rage another day.

This chick does this twice a week for her exercise, how fun. No kids. The other woman on the other hand has three boys and I asked if they’d seen that viral drawing of the pole dancer a child drew but was actually of the mother selling a shovel and people throwing money at her cos there was a blizzard AGahahahha so the mom had to write a note that she was not actually a stripper? Yes they’d seen it lol. And another one of those this is my life moments goes by folks.

This kid is remarkable and now, infamous. You know that’s my bag. Okay I will stop emphasizing with all these italics. We watched a bit of Bob Saget the nasty show? What is it called? It seems ultra current too cos he made some current events references that I have absolutely no recollection of I will have to check in with my couch co-pilot on that later. Here read blog, edit all my mistakes and lies please thanks. Anyway I mention it because he seemed a little erratic and too real for tv, manic. Yeah that’s it. Obviously I am projecting here.

Nice work. Moving on.

Next time I will select the Ladies option for this mug shot if in NYC during the 1800’s I was a criminal. Merkley can you help me get my LA County drunk tank mugshot please thanks, I want to put it on a t-shirt like you have yours. Maybe they incinerated it because I looked like this, totally:

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I’m a blogger not a fighter

We decided we have to put more expensive things inside these. Gold chains! Russell Oliver help! I made another flower one last night in like 4 seconds ahaha j/k. I made one though, but it was in like 4 minutes.

I think next will be a garden skull head. Yop you betcha.

Someone got upset about this photo yesterday. I am going to have to think about this whole nudity private vs public thing maybe eventually soon. I dunno, I kind of always do whatever I want to do and the more people opposition it, the more I do it but now I am thinking for two people here BUT I am the boss of me. Right? Plus I write for Playboy now so. Also it’s just underwear. And I have an upcoming photoshoot scheduled (not for a spread fyi) and I might be in skivvies for that too, maybe I am trying to milk my Raymi the Minxing for as long as I can. Maybe I’ll be like Jessica Tandy nude in her 80’s in one of her last movies. I worry for today mostly and deal with tomorrow’s consequences never if I can help it. I know that jealousy and possession in relationships is a slippery slope that goes both ways and can get maybe hypocritical if a balance is not carefully maintained aka skanks be creeping ma man at all hours/times IRL so what does it matter if I post a pic in my underoos, case closed!

why didn’t we take some of these coasters??

And now counter point, I DO know that when I showed my blog to relatives (his) or maybe some stuffy aristocrat bougy whatever le fuck I’d put my hand up to cover the more provocative photos of myself so if I wasn’t ashamed of that why did I do that then? Am I changing my minx stripes? C’est possible? How about this, I am proud of my body. I am not “a skank” and I don’t have the money shot up on there which is where I draw the line, any shadows in our lower bits are not for sharing.

Weirdest/best television hug ever. If you’re a new Little Raymi, then you won’t know how much of a Big Brother fan I am, particularly, Big Brother UK. I stopped watching it this summer halfway through the series but watched the finale the other night because I had to see who won. The game is so grueling and the stress, bullying, co-dependency, loneliness, boredom, blabbity blah so I fully understand why this hug IS this hug and I love it and I also love that these two bros made it to final two and that Luke A. won (white guy) was actually born a woman and had gender-reassignment, Boom! Truth. I would have been totally fine with Adam also winning but we knew he wouldn’t. You can kinda tell who is going to win Big Brother about 1/2 way through the show, based on how the public votes. Deana, Miss India (no for real she was crowned Miss India and I was rooting for her major) made it to top 3. She was most bullied and it was tough to watch and I think she might secretly be on anti-depressants based on her sluggishness and general malaise but everyone else were horrid. Don’t get me started. Lauren was another awesome chick in there and bullied like crazy cos of how cute she is, Luke S. def shoulda made a harder play for her and his dismal attempt at the get-go was seen by Ashleigh (the barf face) who thusly lead the witch hunt bullying of Lauren, way to go Lushleigh (that’s Luke and Ashleigh’s nickname they were the showmance duo of Big Brother and in no way does Luke actually like her) and now you see why I had to stop watching it there’s like 3 episodes a day to watch that go up in between all my party and hangover schedules and falling in love no time no time! BUT Celeb Big Brother UK debuted last night so I’ll see what the cast is like and report back on it for you. I figure I should watch it since I am trying out for Big Brother Canada. I have a feeling our version will be modeled after the USA show which sucks in comparison to UK BB IMO but I know how those western bullies operate from watching a few season’s worth back in the day I’m all set so BRING IT ON. Ps. I loved Sarah too and her love and devout devotion to the Royals plus her lust for Meatloaf. This chick is an eleven and she wants Meatloaf, the guy not the loaf who just so happens to also be, a loaf.

Do you have to make me jealous via t-shirt now too? (I think this shirt is hot btw). Why do guys wear shirts with whores on them lol just kidding. Like hi okay you like boning chicks good for you clap clap. And I can’t blog my butt pics? Also you put your hands in women’s gorgeous rich lady manes all the time and I don’t care. The scores of thousands of men and women who look at me I will never meet or touch. Modern Love in the digital world eh.

I prefer a can’t beat ‘em join ‘em approach. Which drives men INSANE. I am probably going to get in trubs for writing some of this but I don’t know I am in a relationship now “a real one” “the one” so I don’t know what I am supposed to do or how to act or what the blog boundaries are set at I just go as hard as I can until I am done pushing my luck. It’s about compromise. Fairness and loyalty. It is my goal to get my entire wedding sponsored like Xiaxue did. Or explode trying. Steve‘s the one who’s going to be the Bridezilla actually (that’s the new joke I’ve been making lately from all the wedding films I am now allowed to watch because I won’t have to kill myself from envy) you should hear him on the phone or talking about the tuxedo for his dad and wedding dinner rehearsal stuff it’s truly adorabz he is quite a meticulously detailed guy it motivates me to keep a little more on top of things. I guess we are like Dharma & Greg meets Jessica & Lache or choose your own favourite non-despised tv couple you enjoy.

I keep getting interrupted for this post today and I have a deadline to meet still and an event to prepare for urgle burgle. This photo isn’t even very good. Plus I just messed up the template, but then I fixed it. Then I talked to my website guys about my stats and other businessy type stuff. Running (ruining)(lol) your own Empire is overwhelming and fatiguing.

Then life plunks a message down on my head. We watch bootleg movies now It’s like fast-tracking your existence. Dig it man.

I like when I look like Xena warrior in the hair and in the face. I live like a cavewoman anyway, analyze statement at will.

V. impressed with this one. It’s super heavy too.

It was kind of hot to watch him work.

He said he’d never had so much fun.

Ran out of time Lebowskis be grateful for what you get, I tried (barely). Have a great night. ps. LIKE MY PICS PLEASE Hover and click ‘LIKE’ thank you so much IOU one sometime! Just ask. xo rlw.