Les randumbs Aruba

So many photos, so many things have been up to, so much overkill. I have various things uploaded that I can’t conceivably mentally move passed and get some “real” work done until I blob all that shit so that’s what we’re gonna do today. Hold my hand tight!

Fun times at the back of the bus WOULD be hype if it didn’t secretly smell like pee (you keep that factoid secret or it will spread) and if we weren’t the last ones on the bus, whatever man I am not a morning person, accept that. Do you have any idea how long it takes to fill in the French Canadian bags under my eyes? Why do you think I wear nerd glasses, for fun? Fuck fun, I am old bitch.

Sorry to interrupt but look how pretty this is.

He met me with ponytails in. They were deal makers. Curling my hair makes them more his.

All the girls said what a perfect dress to wear to wine tasting. The perfectest like insisted 1000% that I had severely thought this through and mega-nailed it. Actually was freaking out over WHAT to wear that morning. I was like geez guys thanks I am over this dress so it’s nice to have people gush over it so much I got it from that goth store on Queen where I got my monster ‘kini. Steve and I were like little imps dotting people’s winovisions we were cooed and “awww’d” at all day long it was intoxicating, we had a dreamy ass time I haven’t even had time to take it in life moves so fast.

Thank god for photos. I feel like taking a week long nap though.

It’s your parents in the future past what? I like how this photo already looks vintage from my outfit and the bridge, streetcar. Good one Toronto. One thing that is disturbing and psychotic is the in-flux of trolls trollin’ me now, like if it was ever more apparent that there are bitter people out there go get happy and see them try to take you down or some of your light. It’s interesting being a science experiment for over a decade, in a blink of an eye all the time went by but it still sort of feels like day one. I like that.

Gettin’ psyched eatin’ snacks makin’ tracks. You must all be driven to the winery so you can all get pissed. I was so happy Stevesy wouldn’t have to drive, see Lohan it’s possible to NOT drive waste-casted all the time girl especially when you have enough money for drivers. But holy sheesh is he ever hot, date night tonight has been upgraded to Date Rape night.

When your gf wears a picnic dress everywhere is a picnic.

And here are some Mystery Camera™ pics of Aruba that I uploaded last week then got ADD. The two times my blog crashed last week put me behind schedule a little. You must keep pace with the events of your life in blogging or you turn in to Lloyd Christmas. Dumb AND dumber.

I’m a blond peach fuzzed tanned little monkey, or I was before I came back and went on date night every single second I was home (the food poisoning lean out diet has come to a close, sadly).


On the phone with Steve. We talk on the phone all day long in Toronto but over there you don’t get to see each other at the end of the day. We said the most insane things to each other, it was very oldschool letter jacket cry baby styles. I think by day 5 he super cracked and was like that is enough just please come home it broke my heart and made me feel so strong at the same time, untouchable and brave like I had this little secret gift with me the whole time that shielded me from nine thousand beach weddings like really come on! It was fabulousadness but then time goes by fast on vacay before you know it and then you miss it like crazy and now he thinks he gets a week vacation to even the score (nice try this was planned before I knew you bro lol) but he said he wouldn’t want to go away without me anyway so in October we’ll go away somewhere which will be good because I will probably be suicidal when fall is over. Just kidding there is too much to live for.

My nails grew because I left them manky like that all week long, they got tougher and I put top coat on them every two days like mom said.

Where the lights end so does the island.

The dark parts is just grass outback, kind of eerie. I went out to one and took pictures of the hotels and the windmill, an after hours compound pretty insane and fun nightlife. You can smoke in clubs which repulsed me.

Before or after crying my brains out on the phone to Steve, I cracked day 3 or whatever night Pago Pago VIP dinner was. He actually cracked when I said goodbye to him before I left and wrote me a note to read at the airport which I did while shivering in line from sleep deprivation and Lois read along with me I was set to embark on one wild adventure oh my dear I just got chills recalling that moment!

But bawling on the phone to Steve got me brownie points. We are in a saying the most sucky insecure things to one another contest like I like it when you fall apart for me type shit ahaha this is true love it is the greatest feeling in the history of the world.

Our little nook, The Westin was aiight I’d say. Great peeps. Too bad I didn’t do the magic show because that guy talked s about my blog (that was linked in the New York Times 3 times last week for being an Aruba investigatory journalist, mhmmm) I bet he regrets that but I hope he still edits my interview with him and uses it anyway and if he doesn’t, oh well. Lois lipped him off good though, they waited until after dinner to tell me what he said because they feared hurricane Raymi would hit. Lolo and I were walking up to a casino when she broke the news, it was a good story. I think the magic guy is just exhausted from being a magic guy 7 days a week he was also mad that we didn’t come that night like we said we would and was looking for me in the audience to saw me in half or levitate me hahaha my life rules but anyway we are on vacation bro, we had to go dancing. We had late dinners each night (so fun). Woulda been epic blog material though.

Skull pics now. These rose petals have turn to rust so I dunno, we might re-do it.

So many pics of these i cannot tell the difference from them anymore it is also adding to the cray once I get through a few of these I’ll have the ones I took last night, but only a few. I dunno why but I love hoarding pictures these days I have so many awesome sharesies but no energy, now about that nap. Or spa. Yes, spa please.

They are beautiful and so fun to shake up. Crystal Head vodka is sending us something in the mail, they won’t say what but omfg if it’s more skulls I will just die. :)

This “my junk” one’s purpose is for the ultra Little Raymi superfan. Its contents are that of my life collections of jewelry and trinkets, misc. crap and doo-dads you can just dump it all out and sort through, add to your shrines whatever. If it looks like shit when I fill it entirely I’ll just dump and chuck that crap out. Some good swarovski bracelets and things you can re-purpose I dunno! Dad I need some of your mini train people!

I always add something worthwhile to each one so that a dope won’t be like omg “SO uninspired” (jeals troll FTL). These are made with love, the claydoh one is like ten pounds now, they’re all one-of-a-kind AND actually thought-through. The candle wax one is looking amazing. And I can’t wait to develop a lighting concept for the light one, maybe I can get TPL to hook it up, CN Tower light! I’m not going to share the other ideas I have written down so I don’t blow the whole exhibition before it happens. Mr. Bates has a Skull for donation and for dranking for me also a birthday present too so we will go have a vespa ride and see him soon now that he’s retired he must be going bored mental. If you want to donate an empty skull for the cause and fill it yourself and be part of our exhibit, let me know. I have a feeling it is going to be “mad” “hype” and get some international press.

Someone’s nickname is Loverboy, I made it in to a necklace. He gave that to me originally for my key chain. I added my ribcage accoutrement to it that I never got to wear because Noah broke that necklace the first time I ever wore it out. Brian bought it for me my friend in SD who I never got to meet because he pussed out and I was hung and tired that night and just stayed in my Hard Rock Hotel room solo. That trip ruled. Ford sponsored me and I had no problem ordering room service or charging everything to my room (save for my gifts for family I paid for those) drinks by the pool and dinner one night with Sarah. Anyway that is the story of this necklace. And now here are two videos I’m going to end this post now.

Love this song. Last night it was just us two at the Cube Katwalk thing-a-ling. It was FCUK. Good time, early night. There at least. We stayed up til five watching a movie and making more skulls and hanging on the couch. Our love adrenaline keeps us awake, it’s not good but we can’t help it.

And here I am waiting for colleague with the person I had a meeting with yesterday.

Then I got my sexy on. More on that later. Stay tuned! (I’m actually doing a move here, a twist).

It’s raining awesome

We love my new hair colour. It happened so fast I forgot he even dyed it.

Stevesy really wanted to go to Honest Ed’s (honestly) all he said he wanted to do this summer was be a tourist in his own city and as luck would have it this waste of space is Queen of TDot happenings and cheap thrills. We also wanted to get skull head supplies.

This strawberry skull reminds me of the red/green gas mask Joker whips out in the Batman from ’91, I like how the green wrapping lined up randomly accidentally on the one side of the skull face and red lined up on the other. Good one me. If you try hard in art it falls apart.

Barbie skull was fun to make, quite therapeutic and it’s fun to shake up and get really particular about. Squeezing the heads through was a bit of a chore but awesome for rageahol. I wanted to layer the pearls and the limbs and that I did.

Fun shit. Steve is on his way back and we’re going to work on a flower skull (we never got around to that one lol) and his plasticine one that I will get jealous of I bet and try to dictate. Maybe I should light the candles to get the wax melting for the wax filled one. It’s like PeeWee’s playhouse forever in here. Throw on the Lorax too for good measure ahaha. Like I seriously feel insane from the joy my life now is, it’s raining awesome.

Here lemme rain some down on you.

I stuffed just one of the torsos inside, plus two legs. I mangled one leg at the thigh and twisted it around like a spiral and popped it in but then the foot stuck out while I was trying to pour pearls in and they went everywhere. It’s funny when I fill them cos I always get shit everywhere. This time I could do it in privacy. There are jewels and crystals and pearls and candy hearts hidden in every corner lol.

I enjoyed making this one, stopping to photograph along the way, before all the barbie faces became swallowed up by legs and pearls.

Aw Steve just came back and said how much of an artist I was. I will spare you the rest of the googoogaga details.

Shoulda gave her earrings. Meh.


It was a nice Candy Man Willy Wonka moment in time.

ps what!? YES! And more of it too.

I love this guy’s work so much. Party tunes we throw on all the time.

Goodbye ol bluey.


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Wino Forever

Hi sports fans! Your hero reporting live from the wine barrel bunker of vineyard estastes. I took baby out on a VIP Vineland country wine tour yesterday in Niagara “NBD” (no big deal dad) Thank you so much iYellow Wine Club! <3 Much more to share later with you. We hit three wineries and had a smashing posh good lovebird time. Here's some random pics from oh so many that I'll sprinkle out when I get time to, there is never any time. Never enough. It's Steve's day off today (every Monday) and he's dying my hair right now as I type this aww right!!? Totally. Okay lets go follow me.

Hey what is this is? (Cheech voice lol). We goofed around like cray all day what can I say that’s how we play.

I like that they put a chandelier down there, so, necessary? Hey man at the end of the world why not spoil ourselves right?

He pulled the rubber stops out like, oh my god dude you’ll get us in trubs (that’s so hot do it again ahahaehehehe).

Tres joli. What does that mean I don’t care I turned my brain off for the summer.

He curled my hair yesterday. My hair length is at that horrible mid-range point of too short and too long. It needs to have things done to it to make me not feel like the Ramones. Head bling and ponytails. It’s a lot healthier though now thanks to Stevesy. Go try him out in the salon I’ll let him put his hands on you no problem.

I ain’t threatened he only has eyes for this cow. Moo.

This is at Chateau des charms.

Steve’s ma is all about this winery. We got her a bottle. I am going to make some damn fine first impression I hope I think. Gulp. I will meet the entire family at the wedding rehearsal dinner. I hope I am nothing like Julia Roberts in my best friend’s wedding or Gaylord Focker. All women in rom coms are portrayed as annoying idiots. Maybe I will just be myself. A cliff’s notes version.

Ainsley and Jenn. Oh no doubt some it girl influencers were on the scene. Thanks again Angela for the invite I am very happy to see you living your dream (we met years ago at a supper club Gillian was running) of wine scenery.

We plucked some grapes for Bech from the last winery we went to, the organic one.

Turns out it is possible to drink wine all day, professionally, functioningly. You just stand around the sample bar and pick the one you liked best. People watching is fun too of course, and ditching the tour at points to canoodle around the vineyard.

Matchy matchy you know that’s how I do.

Some fancy chicks were flipping out over Steve carrying my Gucci purse for me. He broke ten million hearts yesterday and made all the dudes look bad. He loves that purse, even if it was just four dollars and not actually Gucci but ESPECIALLY because it was four dollars and not actually Gucci but everyone thinks it is and there’s no other purse like it. I love vintage. I also “don’t care” and will wear/carry anything.

This is how we talk to each other too. It’s adorablah. I don’t care if it makes you puke or if you have an urge to write GAY on my facebook wall. Hater.

This wino-rey was fun times. We loved the lambs. Fed them plantains. Steve electrocuted himself twice. The second time on purpose.

That dog was a jerk. Barked at us. Lamb guard dog. Mmmm lamb. Someone on the bus said they raise the lambs, yes, for eating. All the girls went awwwwwww all sad and after waiting an expert comedienne appropriate amount of time I went BAAAAAAAH (like a sheep) like a laugh-baaah. Steve lost his mind laughing hahah s-heads. Okay I gotta go it’s hair wash time brb.

Errands to do now, I’ll blog again this evening when Steve does his hair shoot. See you around town mes amis. Guess where we’re going.

I’m the director you’re the cast in my play

On something-night we went out to Gusto. Finally.

We’ve had a couple failed attempts making it to Gusto in time for the kitchen to still be open I mean and making The Thompson’s Counter diner whatever it’s called our fave sentimental haunt for a time there. Now I have a steak place! And if they heed this bloggy request, a pesto one.

Ethel! I said there’s NOTH-EENG in your teeth! You’re fine.

This is funny. I get asked a lot about my foodieness and they’re like, Raymi, you’re a foodie? Didn’t know. No I’m not I just go out to happening restaurants in the city 7 days a week. Have you heard of that hot new one? We’re going soon. No more from Blabbington til it happens I have a habit of big mouthitis much to the chagrin of my colleague. Whatever. People lie all the time on the internet (I don’t) and so what’s a teaser of a “is going to happen” going to the harm about really. I’m starting out honest.

We were naughty. I was hosed. We love the vin rouge!

It’s quite dark in Gusto. Had to fix the pupils on some of the shots. Not this one though, why bother. Also that guy is seriously in the middle of a point in his conversation LOL.

I loved sitting beneath this Final Destination death trap. Forgot about it instantly.

The chef adored us. I caught all the line-cooks checking me out actually. Our waitor was a little grabby too. Jesus Christ am I in heat or something, chill brothers.

We had such a good time. Tres romantique. Cry count? Can’t remember. At least 3. I cried when he had to go to work yesterday morning. GRUH-OAN oh shut up! He said it’s okay he cried at the bank Ahahaallolol. I tell Rebeccugh about all our crying and she is like:

Ahaha I love that cat so much.

More hairapy please. I am dating a hair guy and I look like a termite come on here people what’s the idea see! Poppycock! I just said all of that out loud. Steve says I should have my blog on tape, read some of my posts for you. Give me some posts you’d like to see me read all fired up for you and I will! Raymi Audio!

Love grilled bread. Too bad carbs are the devil. Once in awhile if it’s ultra thin and glistening see-through with olive oil ah ma gaaaaaaaaaaaad.

On a scale of ONE to Jewish, I’d clock us a hard eight.

So Hostel, and yet so cozy. J’adore.

Your parents on Date Night. Back to the Future.

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stalk to the hand

Nice minx tat crop.

I just had to stop him. I should have given him my card for his facebook. Oh well.

Playboy energy drink is our jam. I’m getting two more cases of sugar free cans yeah buddy. It’s our pregame drink and Raymi’s day time crash pick me up lol. I like busting on energy drinks cos that’s what the older backstage vip generation all consume cos they get tired. I am caffeine addicted. A lot of city people are.

I threw his stick in to the water cos he pissed me off (not really) but also when I misbehave I get more attention. It was pretty hilarious though and unexpected.

Love makes you do insane things.

I felt I was pretty MJ here. A duh.

Mhmm. I did a bit of Fred Astaire too. I tripped many times on the boardwalk, so embarrassing.

Historical ruins.

Ahh hipster beach.

Thanks for the beers agency bros! I was like WE ARE TASTEMAKING RIGHT MEOW.

Very fun beach date. Steve was stoked. Made me look all romantical and shit, and the rectory, home run.


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I’m a bloggy girl in a party world

So Tuesday nights are for CUBE-ing. Rooftop Partio fashion show, feel me now? I and my homies get to be the guests of (dis)honour cos my BE-F does the hair for the models. Sometimes they are boy, and sometimes they are girl models. Not many summer nights left so that’s where I’ll be erry Tuesday if you want to join in on the shenans and you’re in my crew, you let me know I ain’ts got time to track all your asses down. My nail run is pretty good btw. Hope I don’t jinx it.

Everyone loves my purse, I get bored of things quick so I’m always pleasantly surprised when it gets a compliment. Best 4 dollars ever spent.

Raymbecca is hanging with Craig now which is great because they are both the most stubborn people ever it makes full sense AND they are both close friends of mine PLUS I get to take credit for them meeting, dynamite boom you’re welcome. I told her we are in a couple’s-off cos she has all these dorky photos of Craig on her FB like him throwing a rock in to a lake at sunset agahahaha Me and Steve are fully gay so I don’t care how angery this post gets them.

I look like shit here he does not so I will be a nice homeboy and blog it anyway. I was MENSTRUATING through my goddamn face it looks like. I might draw a rabbit head over my head probably remind me. All I know is he is smoking hot and aww yeah buddy!

Dear Frankie, your lingerie is to die for. Get all over my body asap. Help me pick out some pieces Little Raymesies.

Wanted to take Booboodoodoo out on the town, fancy town. She’s a Rosedale girl anyway so these are her people. She delighted the entire rooftop we are very proud of her. She’s just our little Jules, she gets some good burns in on ol Auntie Raymbo though. Can you guys please flipping tell me what night to book off for her party so I can arrange a pisnatchio cheesecake pick-up too GOD HOLY HELL WHY DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING.

I was still in a bit of a pissed off mood from the day and my peer-E-ood. Some of the models had a bit too much of a cocky swagger, attitude, we could smell it to high hell.

Sweet bods though. Tone down the hot shit vibe please, that goes to everyone up there on that patio. Say it with me now: h-u-m-i-l-i-t-y.

That dress would look amazeballs on me. Bech and I tried to see between her legs when she was in this teeny thong but an annoying guy was right in our way blocking it, I have a video of Rebecca yelling at him I think. He never moved, was too drunk to hear us. We stand behind the couches and go through drank tix like cray VIPLEASE cool stories that we are.

Jules’ face matches my shirt. ADORABLAH! To be 20 (not for long sucka!)

Rebecca has to learn how to use my camera when we are up there and get a photo of me ALL OF ME. Maybe colleague wants to come some night?

Anyway until that day, bathroom pics it is. It really bothers me if I organize the night and I don’t get any nice pictures of myself. #DIVA.


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my blog exploded yesterday

I love this cluster the most. I talked to the pez owner outside, I go, you’re the collector aren’t you like I was Michael Douglas and he goes yeah, I am. Calf tattoos give away everything. Especially calf tattoos of pop art kitsch toys and superheroes. I asked if there was one elusive Pez he was after and do people give him all this pez now, cos it’s “a thing”. He sighed and went, yeaaaaaaah. Anyway the one he is after is a mr. potato head with moveable pieces and it’s hard to find one nowadays with all the parts intact so lets find it for him Little Raymis. A mission should you choose to accept it. I bet we’d get breakfast for life. Or brunch cos I don’t do mornings. Fuh-uck no.

If I call you Gargamel it is because you are being an a-hole. Family burn. Shut up Gargamel!

Look what I get to eat with when I am looking like a Gargamel.

He eats buckwheat pancakes fake bacon and chocolate chips. Sadie’s is a granola haunt, no meat or booze. Fine. Lol. I’m sitting there all trainspotting greasy hair in a booth, we usually vespa over and by usually I mean one time before this but who can tell time anymore who cares SUMMER OF RAYMI.

I just got my period too! I sang I’m not pregnant to the tune of I want candy. Try it sometime, super fun!

Peanut butter smoothie and some spirulina added (I think? I wasn’t listening) and it was insanely good. Our waitress was Finnish, she was unique looking, beautiful, wearing a kerchief and short hair I had several me as waitress in diner fantasies thanks to it. Her voice was very cute. I pictured her being our maid as well and/or housemate and making us pancakes at home lolol I am just making this shit up right now guys kidding maybe kind of sort of.

Anyway speaking of maybe kind of sort of brunch can be a dangerous thing, people per chance are hungover during it and they’ve done their daily (bathroom) business maybe or are about to and you look around at some of the people like oh he’s about to blow for sure.

This omelette was the tits.

Then we went to Kensington market while Steve‘s stomach spasmed in cramps and I was like I don’t want to do this if it’s not fun I didn’t even feel like going to the market but it felt like you had to otherwise hipster yuppie day off couple guilt would sink in and then you start snapping at each other. Buying lots of junk from every store you hit helps stifle that. I tried on all this stuff at the Japanese import store and nothing looked good and that’s when I started wigging out but Steve was well ahead of me at that point anyway and then I was like this activity is coming to an end. EVERYONE was annoying, I think it was cos of the holiday hangover, post long weekend blues. Welp no one Raymes on MY parade and gets away with it.

By nightfall we were cool as cukes. Makes you wanna _______.

Ps. thank you Unite! This is my second haul of this product. Shannon at Redd hooked me up back in da day (3 years ago) when she started sponsoring my head. She did my Raymi Winehouse updo for my 10 Year Blogiversary party.

Anywhoo. Unite you’re my pro stars I look forward to rippin’ it up with you in San Diego. SD was one of my summer highlights last year spending 4 nights Solo at the Hard Rock Hotel. I’ll show Steve those posts when he gets off work. I’m prob 140lbs or so in that video.

Love my kitty ear ring.


Team Yay Cray tales comin’ right up. Have a nice lunch.

ps. my hits are insaneballs high at the moment, there are 4 possible/combo reasons for this. Hope my blawg doesn’t tank again today but if that’s so or ever happens go to my tumblr instead of the crazy house.

One more thing, please donate a crystal head skull if you want to be part of something cool. Dan’s people contacted me yesterday. Fingers crossed for big tings.

Put it out there and don’t be surprised if it comes back to you my friends.

Made a list last night of all the concepts we have in the pan for the other 20 skulls! So stoked.

The first pink one! Tried to do Hello Kitty pink. We’ve also used olive oil to try to make a lava lamp. It kind of worked. They’re going to be made to be played with and purchased. I’m going to fill one with luxury chocolate. Yes for eating. We have a cork one that we’ve been adding other random junk to. I won’t tell you what the others are though because I am not stupid. Okay fine one will be buttons and other gems from my mother’s vast antique collection. Dad do you want to make one too? We are doing one for Dan Aykroyd especially also.

BRB is the place to be.