ps. to that troll who keeps email stalking/harrassing me, no i have not gained a ton of weight. things are actually quite skinny in these parts right about now thank you for caring and for motivating me to keep on the skeletor train. (without fail this loser emails me if i haven’t updated my blog within 24 hours. seriously. cool life guy. i’ll be MIA from the internet til sunday so you have til then to come up with another winner of an email)
this pile of gross leeches off uncle d’s women at events. gross gross gross. carly was a total cunt to him it was awesome. uncle d told him we were off limits. look at the pile of beers he bought us.
see him trying to hump dance on that chick? you humour these dudes for too long then they just push the creepy desperate through the roof. hey guy ever tried being normal?
heavy metal trash shimmy.
just a reg nite on the town with carlie. my agent. pure class. she is 15 years old.
can i take a picture of your shirt? yes. it’s uncle jessie you know from full house. i know. that’s why i want to take a picture of it.
this one’s called butterfly lunge.
all the shots you do to get up pole courage work against you once you’re up there. i am happy to still be alive.
what’s up Uncle D! i’m certain my brother and father will be very proud.
so so hung. i’m catching up on all missed big brother episodes cos i’m as demented as every person on that shit right about now. thank you.
when my brain starts working again i’ll read this. or you can for me and summarize it with bullet points in my comments.
fully missed the entire burlesque act last nite. whoops. got super involved in the paris hilton BFF saga. we actually almost cried. WINNERS.
that’s it i’m getting a pink cardi.
ps. what the hell do i wear to this wedding reception tomorrow – it’s outdoors, tented, casual. my kaftan hasn’t arrived in the mail yet and i’m too brained to shop right now i was planning on wearing it over a bikini, but it might be too cold for that anyway. i can’t pack fifty things cos there’s limited space on the boat. also my first time camping. fil bought us an air mattress.
UPDATE: THANKS FOR ALL ZERO OF YOUR OUTFIT SUGGESTIONS ASSHOLES.
apparently i’ve been tanning in mexico all week long and i’m looking more and more like my mother. fil pointed that out too and i was secretly thinking it anyway. she doesn’t pose like this. maybe it’s cos i look mature? elegant, yet trashy? tanned cougy? here it is bigger for your scrutiny.
next party i throw will be cougar-themed. no exceptions. girls coug, boys coug OR dress like young dudes hahaha basball hats, over-sized jeans and everyone smokes ganj and dances to top 30.
and i’m 20 again nice! i won’t fuck it up this time, promise! (promise not guaranteed).
i’ve been on a shirt destroying altering blitz. trying to stave off a shopping spree. i know i’m gonna buy something either today or tomorrow (need a new shirt for saturday’s wedding reception party). anyway this thing had another layer of shirt beneath the mesh and i cut it all off and kinda hacked at the bottom to shorten it more. why didn’t i do this months ago? ps. that black mark on the tub is from a glass shelf that fell off from above the toilet (and nothing was on it, there’s also one left above the toilet, totally stable) and busted into a hundred pieces when we first moved in. it was tempered glass and super heavy. we went out to brunch and came back to it shattered, it obviously hit the tub first and chipped it. i hate that it ghettos every photo i take in the mirror so i usually try to hide it wow look at that what an interesting insider fact you just learned! how enriching.
that’s a box of canvas frames on the floor. we need more space. didn’t wash my hair yesterday i try to go as long as possible after a dye. today is definitely the day.
we went to shoot chickenfoot at the sound academy last nite. sammy hagar’s new band. also chili peppers drummer chad is in it. guy seriously had an eye crush on me in the photo pit. too bad i can’t share fil’s and my hilarious conversation before we left. oh fuck it. basically i’m like who is van halen, i mean i know who they are but are they canadian? did they do that song? (insert ten ACDC songs) oh ok right here right now or whatever no not that one just right NOW right right with the words in the video yeah the song in the crystal pepsi ads. me + rock star privileges = total waste and extremely infuriating amusing.
vip area.
this photographer looks like a pothead we know haha. another photog stood on the tip of my shoe and didn’t know so i kinda shoved him in the small of his back, he turned around and saw me sitting there and well, i’d like to think probably went home humiliated out of the very being of his soul. nah, it wasn’t a big deal at all, just a detail for you my friends.
greeeeeeeeas-ay.
i text-bragged to my brother and he didn’t write back. he was probably too jealous to, yeah that’s it.
thanks tina <3 - fil and i were the only ones allowed back in the pit after the first 3 songs were over (typical rules for photographers) so i had to take pics and act involved even though i just wanted to jam out. the hatred from behind was certainly palpable. so basically i have 400 pictures and videos.
hey there. i pussed out on throwing my cards on stage. unprofessional. yeah like that has ever stopped me before.
cool story.
JD bottle guitar!
gross dude i busted pissing in the ladies. he was like 60 and totally blasted. i understand getting annihilated with friends but like, going out alone gettin’ concussed and being a total liability to yourself and others, why do guys do that? black outs maybe?
i love to purposely include security in the shot, their facial expressions are always the best. so annoyed.
still here hi.
serious dead will ferrell ringer.
sweet lookin’ gibson.
awesome.
i’m still winning. i planted the happy face mid-march.
why is facebook and twitter taking turns takin’ shit naps today? apparently it was hackers and FB can’t handle the traffic flood thanks to twitter being down.
god it’s past noon already. this post is going to take aaaaages, i farted around online all morning and now have finally run out of sites to lurk so here i go. fil says i have to tell you he didn’t get a chance to properly edit his photos (the colours?) so don’t judge them what? relax pill fil, they look fine. (ps. i started this at 12.17 and ended it at 1.42, just some insight into how much work actually goes into these long-winded/photo jobbers.
final photo with shit hair.
thank you fil for cutting work to photograph yesterday.
and rose you are the best. not a catty bone in her body that chick. i am actually having an anxiety attack in this photo. from the heat and the stupid chest strangling shirt i wore and the cape. rose was consulting me on what should be done to my hair and i was like mhhmm yep ok cool i trust you yes yep uh huh uh huh fil can you pass me my purse cool cool ok AWESOME. i was so embarrassed but i think they couldn’t tell. i really wanted another coffee (was exhausted) but knew it’d put me over the edge so i held off.
is that a kozyndan bunnyfish? i know their stuff gets printed on shirts and shoes and lots more cool shit, like a hair blade. maybe?
shawna gave me an amazing cut. gave me definition and thinned it out a little, yet kept the length. phewf. she is fantazing about giving me a super short look. one day, one day. BUT NOT TODAY.
fil got a trim out of this dealy. lucky.
colour time.
delicious red pepper thai shrimp soup from next door total score. we went there to share a wrap afterward.
so this process was going to consist of three phases which rose shortened to 2 once she saw how much natural hair i had goin’ on in that mess, patches where the black dye had faded (or places i missed when dying it myself) to my natural ash blond/brown whatever you call it, and golden bits from when i had streaks. so during the applying black stripping agent (like bleach, but not) once she got to the top of my head was just like fuck it and put it all over. saved us like 45 minutes. she decided to free-hand it in lieu of foils so it would look more natural instead of uniform patch after patch, the term is baliege? it’s french and i cannot find it online. anyway, the goal was a multi-tonal colour medley and that’s what we got.
my main concern with all this was what if it completely frazzles my hair like i did once before on a blonde ambition whim and then i’ll have to cut it all off? rose assured me, in fact, colour corrections are her favourite thing to do because she gets to 1. help out giant fuck ups (my words) and 2. gets a satisfaction boner once her vision comes to fruition. when i had my hair colour corrected once before the woman who did it was totally mean and it cost a ton of money too. i could tell she hated every minute of it and was annoyed at me. i felt like shit during the entire experience. oh well at least i under-tipped her haha (not on purpose, just ignorance). having someone who is passionately working on your mistake is, i don’t know how to describe it, you just feel really super grateful and not at all sheepish.
not to be a lesbian or anything but holy head massage skills, guy.
shawna’s friend lynsie has photos currently displayed at brennen demelo (hurry they’ll be taken down soon) and i seriously want this barbie print. need this barbie print in my life. art trade?
LOVE coney island weirdo land.
their incred spacious studio is located at 316 adelaide. they also do couture clothing reworks. the concept is get your hair did, get your outfit, then go party. you can even bring something in and they’ll alter/jazz it up for you, they’re also on twitter and quite the building empire plus have worked with gobs of knowns.
not to talk shit about other salons or anything buuuuuut i hear the industry is pretty fickle-minded, competitive and childish. not this place though, you don’t feel intimidated like you are interrupting everyone by being there, do you know what i mean? no snobs here, genuine people who are cool to boot and make you feel like part of the family.
every time i got up to do whatever i thought this mannequin was a person checking me out, stop staring eh!
for all the big mouth what is me, i’m pretty private with my pleasure experiencing, shy even. fuck off fil leave me and my tickling scalp alone!
you can pick yourself up a raymi collector card too.
yeah i know how you feel.
drying hair so phase 2 can begin.
do you remember doing your own hair when you were younger and thinking this was acceptable? thanks kurt cobain.
goodbye black.
i look like my dad.
the crappier it looks after phase one, the nicer it looks after phase two.
mutli-tonal don’t forget.
final dye has been applied now we sit for 15 minutes.
i must buy this.
fil didn’t take pics during the second rinse cos he learned his lesson.
they may be bitches. but they are skinny bitches. exactly. kind of DUH tips but evidently people need to hear them over and over and over again. similar to my diet regimen.
OOOOOOOOoooooooooooh i’m prettier, didn’t think it was even possible to top it, so is, so is. i learned from Bitch that blondes don’t have more fun. sluts do. ha ha.
you need to see it in real life to see the difference. there are some dark parts down there still but not many, and they blend well with the rest of it. i am very pleased. no more dark.
plus my hair is partially damp in these.
wheeeeeeeeeee yeah!
so not only is it lighter, it’s no longer frazzly. bonus with lighter hair you don’t have to wash it as much, i am so floored over that one. money saving, time saving, beauty. win.
I LOVE YOU ME! i know it’s not a dramatic change. meh. wanted a natural go at it. rose wants me back next week to tone it some more cos she is an over-achiever like that. i’m tellin’ ya see this girl she will hook you up and tell her raymi sent you, catch her on twitter or just call the salon: 416.301.1072 you can also email the salon and send in photos of your hair disaster to better describe what the damage is and what you want: info@brennendemelo.com – shawna is also on twitter. fil dropped his long time hairstylist for her she is that good. very thorough, methodical, takes her time, every section of hair is important to her and most importanly listens to you and follows through, unlike many stylists who go mhmm mhmm then do their own thing anyway UGH. such an artist that one and actually, her art will be the next stuff showing at the studio.
hello beautiful.
i look like an eight foot tall monster.
i’d love to be a stylist walking around in front of mirrors all day long in killer outfits.
soft soft soft.
then i put back on the anxiety attack shirt.
hot bikinis. shawna showed me one with ruching up the butt crack, very adorable (ass enhancers). the chick who designs them is a (i forget) some kind of female body-expert guru, if you come to her with your problem areas list she will custom-design for you the perfect suit.
they have shirts you wear special goggles to look at and the designs jump out 3D at you. awesome shirt to do shrooms in. actually you’d have to get your friend to wear it so you can look at him.
can’t stop staring at myself. WHAT ELSE IS NEW OMG ROFL!LOLOLOLOLZ!
place next door i forget the name of. one solid piece of wood for this table. i bet it was like $20,000.
great salon weather!
yum “slaw” has pineapple in it and i am not a pineapple fan at all.
we shared the roasted free range chicken wrap.
poor little duder got splashed.
this is the right place!
bbq chicken from martino. AMAZAAZIZING.
the boys had pizza. i also had coconut chicken soup. also delicious. their delivery is great, walk-in off the street not so much.
we’re goin’ to a wedding reception on an island up north this weekend. fil and steve had to go through a ton of old photos for a roast they’re workin’ on. i overheard some of their jokes/material. i’m funnier.
omg i looked tired as shit yesterday thanks to britt’s bbq.
looks almost ginger no? i love how my grown-out bangs look now thank you again and again shawna i feel so stupid for being stubborn. way to go aries.
cork change. we have a billion of ‘em. also an entire cork recycling bin in the laundry room from all the winos in the building. all you need is a little eye hook, screw it into your cork of choice then put a chain through and voila you stupid fucking hipster.
a little bit of dark patches here and there, nothing major. goin’ back next week so rose the hair correction (ocd) wizard can lighten it even more.
i love it. brennen demelo studios is boss. they also do designer couture clothing rework masterpieces, and bathing suits. such a great scene. more on that later xoxo. thanks rose! thanks shawna for the amazing cut! i’m going to rip apart a shirt now in an attempt to copy your shirt.
thanks for the jeans lise! fil loves them cos they make him think it’s the 90s (his favourite era) and when he’s blasted he comes over to me and says those jeans bring him back. ha ha.
the cork was a hit. oh yeah a champagne bottle exploded in my purse. luckily i bagged it three times. i got three steps out the door, one down the stairs and what sounded like a gun firing inside my purse went off. fuck. if you plan to shove a wine cork into a champagne bottle, don’t travel with it.
way to go brosz7.
wanted a photo for slob chic then was like there is nothing slob about brad. maybe the “accidental” untied shoelaces, but the shoes are too clean.
hung4lyfe.
too bad i didn’t take a pic of that cupcake explosion all over your face what i did. sorry! don’t dare me to do something also, don’t drop a cupcake on my purse if you don’t want a cupcake in the face/glasses.
PS. THAT MUST BE SUCH A STRETCH FOR YOU. OMG GAY GAY BUT I’M NOT GAY HOW DO I DO IT I REALLY DO NOT KNOW BUT I DO, I REALLY DO, IT’S LIKE MAGIC I MUST BE A WIZARD OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT I MIGHT BE HERMIONE GRANGER IN THOSE HARRY POTTER BOOKS YEAH I AM TOTALLY HER BECAUSE LIKE I MAKE STORIES ABOUT LESBIANS EVEN THOUGH I LIKE GUYS MAYBE I SHOULD BUY A WAND ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS TWO LESBIANS LESBIANING ALL THE TIME AND THEY KISSED EACH OTHER UNDER THEIR TOPS A LOT AND ONE DAY ANOTHER LESBIAN NOTICED THEY WERE LESBIANS AND SAID “HEY I AM A LESBIAN TOO LETS ALL BE LES-BE FRIENDS TOGETHER FOREVER” THEN I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT IT IS A MYSTERY TO BE CONTINUED…
how do you think women deal with this situation? it’s called toilet paper wad, make one, use it to lower/raise the seat you disgusting fucking monkey!
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh. lemme guess, you’re going to tell your kid about them one day too. you’re sick and stupid. “or to tell me they are OK” AND delusional.
how about feel grateful you got any thanks at all. you know how many taken for granted forgotten teachers there are? i can’t even remember the names of more than half of them. some people, the ability of grammar and punctuation, spelling, it’s just lost on them, and that’s that. it is beyond you.
OMFG LOOK OUT REBEL ON THE SCENE!
you’re scum. how is that even something to be proud of? a person went to the trouble of signing up for a service, lovingly selected films to watch, and you go and bung it all up for them. you’re a piece of shit.
cool story. cool parenting. cool life.
and the piece of shit award is now passed on to you. i am so incensed by this one i can’t even talk about it i just want to know where you live so i can punch your fucking lights out. have you any idea at all the suffering that goes along with bipolar disorder? you’re the sick one here.
i thinked you’re righted thered. see my point about spelling and grammar? anyway, i have zero attention span for close-minded people. BOOORING. next.
SOMEONE NEEDS TO START THEIR OWN BLOG CHRISTINA AGUILERA. not to be a psychic or anything but your next post secret will be I GET OFF WHEN I SEE MY POSTCARD ON POSTSECRET.COM followed by I LOVE THE ATTENTION RUSH I GET WHEN I SEE MY POSTCARD ON POSTSECRET.COM followed by FRANK WHY DIDN’T YOU SCAN IN MY POSTCARD LAST WEEK SOMETIMES I GET ANGRY AT YOU I DON’T KNOW WHY THOUGH LOL TTYL XOXO WINKY EMOTICON
it’s never too late to learn anything!
that’s because they drag it out over 4 hours of movie like come on already stop getting mislead and listening to stupid people and losing letters and being shy and barely making eye contact double speak tension holy fuck already will you omg they kissed YAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEAH!!!!!!! fap fap fap fap fap fap fap faaaaaap skeet skeet skeet skeet terlggusrhgosdvgdso;b! YES!
firstly, who is teaching sex-ed these days? why does more than half the population spell masturbation incorrectly? secondly, why isn’t anthony bourdain featured here, or ramsay, or jamie oliver? (NOT THAT I THINK ANY OF THOSE GUYS ARE HOT, FIL!) but why are you attracted to wieners and who are these wieners? aside from that glasses wiener, i am not familiar with any of these wieners and what’s with chicks being attracted to wieners? please explain. make a flow chart and use little words my brain is small because i am a woman.
and because you’re oh-such a desperately pretentious douchebag needing to remind everyone every chance you get that you finger banged a girl once because you are so fucking common and dull please don’t come to my party snoooooooooze. ps. she was faking it.
why play in to what the parents want right now and throw such a huge chunk of your life away? so stupid! have you got no other ideas for what to do with yourself? pathetic man. awesome, have kids too we know you will!
but they make everything so much safer.
this should be called passive aggressive secrets that are still secrets dot com. i do not “get” the mindset of one who takes their inability to make friends out on other people. you are the ultimate internet troll and you own one of those shirts that says I HATE EVERYONE EQUALLY or HELL IS OTHER PEOPLE. no guy, it’s you, not them.
and what oh so meaningful vocation do you do? how about don’t talk about them period you little dink, talk about your own boring shit, oh that’s right, NO ONE CARES.
you can practice on me i LOVE making fun of white dudes, it’s my specialty! especially if they live in the annex or work on bay street. don’t be afraid of those cliche power silences either, don’t play into their controlling bullshit, own it. know at base, men of all race are similar, they are all irritating in the same way. just pretend he’s your boring uncle.
how did he react? who cares, don’t make a thing of it. now send one of your anoos!
well are they spelling masturbation right at least? wow you believe in logic even though you believe in a fairytale afterlife! WEEEEEEEIRD doo doo doo doo (twilight zone voice) stop the world we have a real maverick on our hands over heeyah!
trophy pride houses are never a good scene. why are the driveways always empty and the family never home? no one enjoys them ever. such a waste of money. the things you own end up owning you. thanks fight club.
thank you for setting up this IRONY attack you clever motherfucker you. someone said beneath this postcard “One week I missed church when I stopped to help a hurt cyclist.” FEEL LIKE AN ASSHOLE MUCH.
awesome and…does she know? are you gay? do you roleplay? are you weird TMI swingers? ugh talking about sex is boring.
no girl, listen, god doesn’t shape shift. that irritating loser is just wasted and thinks they’re really interesting. like me. but, if you want to think i am god, then go ahead let me get my money basket. WHERE DO ALL THESE STUPID PEOPLE LIVE??? Sarnia?
EWWWWWWwwwwwwwwww. What the fuck is this daddy warbucks shit? why are you calling him daddy still? when you learn how to print you are TOO OLD to refer to your father as daddy. that’s fucked up on both ends i don’t care what anybody says about it. if a dude’s teenager/adult daughter is calling him daddy he’s an egomaniac freak and probably perverted. sick. when a word crosses over into roleplay sex fantasy territory it is no longer innocent especially when you’re old enough to know it.
someone wrote this in response “Every year I send a Father’s Day card to Budweiser Brewing Company.” uhh what? why? does your dad work there? is your dad a case of beer? is your dad a perpetual drunk and thanks to budweiser he is able to open up to you? too vague.
you’re welcome for all my hard work on this canadian holiday xoxo.
fil didn’t want to deal with the short slutty skirt of casie’s when returning the movie so i changed into these guys. what a difference!
remedy town.
buzzed shopper’s discount rack attack! this stuff gives you a body heat rush for an hour and makes you itch if you’re lacking whatever properties are contained. iron? anyway, funny trick to play on someone. the first time i had one at lucasaid‘s i felt like a fucking volcano and when you scratch your arms you get hotter and hotter i dunno why during a heatwave it seemed like a good idea. we were bored. last nite i swear i could feel my leg hairs growing! the niacin was 2.49 from 12 bucks rush high high cheap thrilllls!
i’ll let you know how useful these aren’t when i try ‘em out. the chocolate was 79 cents (no sugar added, low carb) i am addicted to deals especially deals on things i don’t need (bipolar bipolar bipolar) and when we got home caught the episode of simpsons when marge breaks her leg goes to hospital so lisa is forced to take on home duties, sends homer out food shopping and he comes back with a cellphone filled with candy, caramel syrup and some other useless shit. i said hey is that how i shop!? fil was taking a sip of beer at the time and choke laughed YES. omg i love stupid shit so much i want to be tom hanks in BIG right now!
do you guys want to win a 12 pack of black oak beer? trying to think of the logistics here, i don’t want to mail it so you’d have to come and see me. or you could have a tour of the black oak brewery, take some friends and get wasted for the day. plus it’s right across the street from mimico jail – scary! anyway lemme know.
dad if you get a pool i will visit every week.
oh isn’t that nice.
ding dongs.
i love gator.
powerful jet by my feet tickles the soles and it’s a contest with yourself to see how long you can withstand it and you smile like an uncomfortable goon. then your feet go numb.
thanks dad!
the card stock is thicker than my last cards, love it. i left a pile at queen video yesterday fyi. who wants a few?
caribana.
are there beer gardens set up anywhere? i can’t see the fun in standing around unless you’re in the parade. ps. next year i want to be in the parade. talkin’ full on feathers sequins gems bikini everything, how do i do this and who’s with me? can we get a blogger float sponsored?
caribana rubberneckers.
on our way down university two dudes in a car beside us (clearly in town for caribana) were holding up a bottle of grey goose and waving it out the window to their friends in the car behind them. fil looked over and gave them “the nod” (wearing top gun glasses) then they go s’up. s’up man, s’up. i waved. wanted a picture so bad. i’ve never seen fil so cool before in my life hahahaha. 50% due goes to the subaru spoiler i’m certain.
if you know of a better clear mascara (for pool/beach days) do pass it on k. this stuff is ok but, not as great as stuff i used as a teenager (mom do you remember?) that lip gloss is fantastic though.
look at this goddamn purse! click on all the photos of it. swoon.
i have so much presence i get checked out from up on high, didn’t even wave.
a very natural stance.
friday’s dinner.
boiling rotisserie chicken carcass for soup stock.
gross i know sorry.
no fat, virtually no carbs smart guy.
ya oh hi wtf
pretty easy. takes a little longer than a minute and you shouldn’t wring out the towel very much.
that organics grocery store by queen video changed ownership so everything (aside from produce, meat and dairy) is 50% off!
yeah yeah me again.
50% off tastes delicious.
this is so easy to make.
EW did you find that in the forest!?
it’s like a pupae (don’t google that, trust me)(or do it whatever i just did).
take the gross out to the next level by adding light cream cheese. SICK.
can you imagine getting hit in the face with one of these?
despite lookin’ this way they are so clean, practically no slop spills or anything and if you prep a few of them they retain their heat all wrapped up like that.
and then because the time taken prepping each one then eating one or two (eating slower) you get full, lots of leftovers.
