Hahahahah shut up
ps. to that troll who keeps email stalking/harrassing me, no i have not gained a ton of weight. things are actually quite skinny in these parts right about now thank you for caring and for motivating me to keep on the skeletor train. (without fail this loser emails me if i haven’t updated my blog within 24 hours. seriously. cool life guy. i’ll be MIA from the internet til sunday so you have til then to come up with another winner of an email)
this pile of gross leeches off uncle d’s women at events. gross gross gross. carly was a total cunt to him it was awesome. uncle d told him we were off limits. look at the pile of beers he bought us.
see him trying to hump dance on that chick? you humour these dudes for too long then they just push the creepy desperate through the roof. hey guy ever tried being normal?
heavy metal trash shimmy.
just a reg nite on the town with carlie. my agent. pure class. she is 15 years old.
can i take a picture of your shirt? yes. it’s uncle jessie you know from full house. i know. that’s why i want to take a picture of it.
this one’s called butterfly lunge.
all the shots you do to get up pole courage work against you once you’re up there. i am happy to still be alive.
what’s up Uncle D! i’m certain my brother and father will be very proud.
so so hung. i’m catching up on all missed big brother episodes cos i’m as demented as every person on that shit right about now. thank you.
when my brain starts working again i’ll read this. or you can for me and summarize it with bullet points in my comments.
fully missed the entire burlesque act last nite. whoops. got super involved in the paris hilton BFF saga. we actually almost cried. WINNERS.
that’s it i’m getting a pink cardi.
ps. what the hell do i wear to this wedding reception tomorrow – it’s outdoors, tented, casual. my kaftan hasn’t arrived in the mail yet and i’m too brained to shop right now i was planning on wearing it over a bikini, but it might be too cold for that anyway. i can’t pack fifty things cos there’s limited space on the boat. also my first time camping. fil bought us an air mattress.
UPDATE: THANKS FOR ALL ZERO OF YOUR OUTFIT SUGGESTIONS ASSHOLES.
Wear one of those great seventies dresses you have. I can’t remember exactly what they look like, but wear that. For real.
yeah maybe i should. i was hoping for whimsical floaty breezy casual hippie chic.
maybe i should venture to forever 21 for my first time and have an anxiety attack in there and buy something stupid.
ok dude but what about this one http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2113/3539286952_840a80f9de.jpg
gah if you told me you could have come over and borrowed, i have heaps of dresses good for reception NEXT TIME!
this is cute http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/2502434221/in/set-72157606205852365/
have fun
Light summery dress?
i gave that piece of shit cupcake dress that i never wore away and the peacock is too much material, it’d wig me out. also the amount of weird remarks wouldn’t be worth it. i might wear the blue dress but ill need to buy more balloons to hold. and another tiara.
ps are you doing wakestock?
ah I see. well, the tiara & balloons will be a hit for sure. you could wear a red dress or some stripes and pack a sailor hat. that seems to go over really well with people
This post is making the mullet I had when I was 14 grow back. I can feel it unfurling as I type this.
Those look like expensive jeans… what are they? Hot.
forever 21 is always my go to when short on time and money. For the least amount of overload on the senses do a lap around the store and grab whatever looks appealing then try on everything and you’ll have a least a couple of things that will work. and for cheap.
jeans i got off my friend natalie at her estate sale they are amazing. they are J brand. 200+ bucks area http://www.jbrandjeans.com/
oh. that’s how everyone shops, right?
I think we should get you a pole for the house to practice on.
DUUUUUUH!
don’t go to forever xxi! if u r prone to panic attacks that place will throw u over the edge, especially if it’s “organized” like it is out here in edmonton. fuck that place makes me clench my ass cheeks everytime i walk in there. too much shit, too much all over the place AND now they have a guy’s section. and the music makes me want to kill myself it’s so loud.
if u happen to have a jean-type catsuit (preferably with wide legs ala bell bottoms) and a BIG gold belt, that could be cool. and a granny scarf/kerchief with sailor shit on like the one i got from my oma. i’d send a pic but can’t hook my camera up to the computer.
I’m commenting. What a ridiculous night. I didn’t leave the house all day cause I was so hung. I think that you have some of the classiest photos ever taken of me. Thanks for the fun!
p.s. I’m not an “ie”
I want to see the troll e-mail. It’s probably some fat, bald dude anyway. I read the Amazon reviews of that Playboy book last fall when I was obsessed with “TGND” and all the reviews said the book is full of spelling AND grammatical errors and it will make your head hurt. So I never read it.
Don’t go to F21 if you are feeling cranky/hypersensitive–you will hate it–an explosion of color and obnoxious 15-year- olds and a few sad old cougars.
just an FYI, you are not looking fat at ALL, and I love your new hair colour. Hope you find a good outfit!
dude the jeans are awesome, totally jeal here and loves loves loves the hair!!!!!! you look more then fantastic in that top pic btw
hahaha i was just going to comment on your jbrands because i have the exact same pair with same colour stitching and everything and here it is a topic in your comments. anyway, what i wanted to say was do you notice how much the waist stretches out on those things? and also how fucked their sizing is? just a warning to anyone who goes and buys some, buy them smaller than you need because although they are fanfuckingtastic the waist will stretch out and fast and then you’ll be pissed. that’s all for now.
mutual boob grab your way miss lrw, xo
p.s. there’s one of those get fit pole dancing gym things in toronto some of me old mates teach. it’s called acadia i think. bahahaha that cannot be right, lemme check, but they can do crazy ass moves now. serious acrobatics. k, it’s aradia. me and my crippled and arthritic ass obviously has no business doing that sort of thing, but they all love it and are fit as crazy now from doing it all the time. not that you need the fitness, but i know you’d love to entertain with some insane flying crazy pole whirly moves.
here it is: http://aradiafitness.com/franchises/toronto/httpdocs/
kbye. smooch.
Blondie looks like Portia de Rossi’s secret Hollywood daughter …
… or however the fuck you spell the name. I mean Nell off Ally Mc Beal
Make sure you wear your cow pie stained flats. Lovely.
tres skinny and the brown hair looks awesome. stalker, f u.
I want the record to show that I am not the same Mark as that Mark. I am the cougar jowls Mark. Maybe I’ll get a real name.
you are so fucking skinny and hot. wear a garbage bag and ppl will be jeals. original, i know.
You’re never been camping? WTF?
The Original Lil’ Mynx Dance Pole
http://www.lilmynx.com/shop/product_info.php?cPath=1_23&products_id=33
carly i know i totally spelled it wrong but kept forgetting to go back and fix it whoops