I belong in the jungle anyway. I am doing infinity tricep extensions today and all weekend.

Holy tense! It was! Teacher popped in to check out the hotel (immediately lost) and we were cutting it close to reservation time (where they pitch your table if you’re not there and follow through with that threat) so it shows on my face a bit.

These are mean ass gold diggin’ heels. Teetering around the keg the irony wasn’t lost on me, holy crap that was scary. I didn’t fall but I am sure I looked like an idiot. We lost the table we were supposed to have in the middle of all the action so we sat in a hidden tucked away room which Tracey the Minx did not appreciate and so got us two comped bottles of Veuve and desserts. Why the crap would we want to sit in the corner at the Keg on corporate man cruising night on a 4 Birthday celebration night, honestly.

I had Creole (where was the creole?) chicken, it was bland and I was worried my scallops were undercooked. My ex bf in Maine got red tide poisoning from scallops (that I thankfully didn’t get, didn’t eat as much as him) and I am forever scarred. Anyway it was a light meal, I didn’t want heavy so it was perfect.

Lois is a dear, she bought me this while I haunted the Old Mill like a lazy scruff, match perfectly with heels. Well done. Mom was uber jealous and thinks we are in a love competition with Lois meanwhile I have seen my mom spoil my niece for 13 years and not said anything (nor care!) my mom is a brat. Middle child issues I think it is. I love this jacket because it reminds me of Allison from ANTM all stars and we are obsessed/adore her cos she has sugar glider eyes.

I would kill to look like her. She probably got that from H&M which means she ghett-ayo like me. Oh Allison we have so much in common.

This already feels so long ago. This was a nice relaxing afternoon. I dig my solitude, I am pretty monastic.

Those are some ballin’ sashes.

I may as well of just gone out like this considering how short my dress (actually a shirt) was, I wish I got a good photo but the bathroom lighting was so dark, I looked like a figure skater.

I wrote the maid’s name down to ensure she get her tip today.

That little darling woman out there, aw.

Waiting for it to chill, waited it out to 2pm about, then was sozzled immediately ha. I am done with champagne for the next little while.

Not even going to pretend that this is the last photo you’re gonna see of these pets. I am not a shoe person but I am a worshiper of the things I accumulate (hoard?) and this is the Raymi Times, top story, Autumn mission accomplished, fall heels. That I will probably fall in. Knock on wood/count on it ugh.

I rearranged the chill room back in to a party room, put the fold out couch away, we had an after party bender last night and stayed up til 4am oh god this weekend is going to be all about R&R maybe we will hit a spa? But anyway, this was my Home Alone fantasy realized, walking through a weird figure 8 from bathroom to bed(palace)room, to water closet, ahhhh. I did a funny impression of a silver spoon posh brat by the fireplace mantle.

I am listening to Black Keys right now and his whiney voice is hurting my feelings, is a new album out yet?

I entitle thee, garish cougar working from home today. Also last night I spied a reversal cougaring “working late at the office” drinks in the lounge with a female boss and young pup (smokin’ hot) employee of hers and he eyed me like crazy and she dripped all over him for protection of her cub and I made a point to look at him when I left and his eyes flicked up back at me, like, in another life. I was fascinated by the role-reversal cos I see old CEO dudes all the time with their young temps having goblets of wine together and it’s nothing but to see them together like that was, I couldn’t keep my eyes off them. It was kind of primal too. Good for her though.

Alright enough. I’m gonna need more of these pants in diff colours. Then I can go to any pub in libville and get coddled and burped like a baby cos that’s what all the students living off their parents in their shoebox condos do at the brazenhead, maybe your food comes faster when you show up in sweatpants?

The dining dancing hall. Dreamy and Royal-feeling. I love that part in Beauty and the Beast (because I have regressed to grade 3 now) when Belle is walking through her pilgrim thatched roof village, this is reminiscent of that. I love the muppets christmas carol too and will watch it this weekend while I suck my thumb on the couch ahaha.

Geezers everywhere, I imagine it will be bumpin’ here for Thanksgiving. HAhah that happened already. Oh my god I am starving.

Very similar to Casa Loma, sorry we didn’t go Lois. I’ll get us in to an event there soon.

These two birds were amazed by me, excuse me, are you here for the conference, uh no I am staying here, There’s rooms here!? Yup. And I am dressed like this and they were the type that wears clear plastic doo rags in the rain.

Spiral staircase (closed off spooky!) down to hell. Where was the torture dungeon I forgot to ask.

Seriously I would eat my foot right now, my chocolates arrived by mail gonna pick them up tonight and mail a pile of stuff I’ve put off for centuries. We cleared out the breakfast room of all peace and quiet of course.

It was fun watching little asian tourist ladies fix their hair in the window reflection not seeing us in there. My friend asked me why I was dressed like The Situation. God I miss Jersey Shore. God I can’t believe that I would ever say that before. Let that be a lesson that people do have the capacity to change and turn a new leaf of awesome.

The most adorable courtyard. We stood outside in the night under the full moon and took pictures too. It was frigid.

The antlers over there are bad ass.

Wonder what the historical/heritage of this is, Dutch or Swiss looking architecture? I should just make this all up and you wouldn’t even know or care or fact check. I’ll hit you with a lie if I can think of a good one.

I am a blue blood so tea and table manners are my thang-a-lang which I tried to honour as much as was capable of at time.

I saw one woman take a photo of something out the window and saw that a hotel employee walked in, she went, “it’s so beautiful” apologetically and shy. I chuckled inwardly while waiting for my challah to toast, guy it’s almost 2012 don’t apologize for doing your tourist digital camera thing.

If it weren’t for pictures this blog would suuuuuuuck!

Quite a confusing hotel. Middle Earth now on our way to the Prancing Pony for a pint (it comes in pints!?)(name that Hobbit).

Just anotha hotel under our belt right girls. Some ex-communicated people from the group ran their mouths (as usual) a little bit about ma moms and myself and on top of internet haterade there are jealous spiteful scary jealous crazy people IRL we’ve got to deal with and it’s eery the similarity in cruel things we yield, but anyway, I celebrate my life and my family and friends, animals, I don’t do mean things to people and I would prefer if everybody got along and was nice it disgusts and repulses me when people go down to low levels and whine and do not see the error of their ways and responsibility blabbity blah it was a non-stop gossiping trashing shit show of the century and a wicked good time.

Gave my mom the extra copy of On the Road and she was stoked. These HK jammies are going to Hailey cos I look like a snausage in them. MMMM snausages. I don’t know what that is but I heard it as a joke once and it made me LOL.

Accidental close-ups and learning to camera whore with this slide out phone.

Statement scarf/necklace, good eye Teacher. As I was leaving I said you know how much attention this is going to get me? And he goes Nooo! haha. Our waiter at Mercato said,” My GIRLFRIEND makes bread” to me 5 times chill dude just cos I look like a playmate doesn’t mean I’m going to blow you now. Seriously I am not being conceited here he really was being over-the-top.

The girls are even worse at taking photos with it and think my phone is shit aahha.

So these are candids and failures, pose give-ups. Omg it’s over that’s all I uploaded. BATH ATTACK! TGIF!

*ps. guess what quote (and who said it!?) my blog post title is derived from. You will win: SOMETHING!