Everyone knows I love Shia LaBeouf, Shia La french word for egg. I also really enjoy the word Beouf. See, we make jokes and kid around that is how advanced our one-sided love is at this point.
And I also love Sia too, so much so that I made a weirdo platinum blond hair video to Sia before Sia did, maybe she even copied me who knows God I miss those shorts left them in a cab on Pride a couple years ago haha giver!
Hey guys, didja take yer joke pills today hopefully jesus -uck am I ever in a crabby mood. PMessy nahmean. And I super want a drink. I am at the point like why am I doing this. This sucks. Is boring. And so on. Plus Christmas is basically here which means Drinkmas.
It’s Day 13 of no drinking and I want a dark and stormy right fckn meow.
But then I looked in the mirror and was like hubba hubba. Just jay-kaying guys. How will I ever become friends with Gwyneth Paltrow if I drink. Bet she never lets her hair down or allows herself to be out of control like ever. Stringent chicks are so fascinating. Speaking of typecast people, Gwyn is one of those skinny broads in loose-fitting black lingerie proudly on gawky display in several of her flicks and you can only do that when you’re a beanbole and to be a beanpole you have to be majorly uptight. We have to make do with the bodies God gave us and if you’re flat then to pass as sexy you have to be coatrack thin. Or that’s what the sickness beauty perception states.
Smiling makes you look younger too. Fortunately more than half my bloggy life was devoted to neve smiling so I don’t have massive crow’s feet and laugh lines. All my lines are on my orehead from fucking around with my eyebrows and applying mascara EVERY DAY I am 100% going to get botox one day and have a forehead like a balloon.
I had a gap in my teeth as a kid and then one day it just closed, maybe when I was about twenty, but because of the gap when I smiled (when I was forced to) I never smiled with my teeth showing I hated my Madonna gap. Now I know the power of my teeth and flashing ‘em but you have to be careful and not overdo it because you can look like a game show host which I have on many occassions. Smiling smiling smiling, inside dying.
If I wrote a book like how I write these blog posts I’d have no recollection of what my book was about because I have absolutely no attention span and whatever I cared about last week is like ancient history in internet time.
Made this.
Sorry if you’re grossed out. Or tempted.
Reminds me of Fubar 2.
So glam.
Yep I still dress like Peter Pan.
This was yesterday. God I miss running. it’s just too cold and too much hassle.
Pumped about getting so much laundry done yesterday.
Still eating candy like crazy I think is turning us into monsters.
Keeping food as interesting as poss.
I have every intention to run again soon though, this headwrap is part of the plan. Today woulda been good too it’s kinda mild.
We’re playing Monday at 6 (I believe) at The good ol Central, it will be more Jared’s solo 90’s band thing though I’ll probably just sing a few songs and wait around til I can sing more so come hang out with me you know I’m never in the city anyway, I’ll take all my meetings in between sets haha.
Yo amigos how you been? Oh me? Bored as shit whatevs heheh. This weather, something I incessantly complain about is legit killing my buzz. I’ve been working on my book. Going in a slightly different direction with it too que sera sera. I kinda wish I could tell you guys about it, but I will in time. You know when you do the things you love to do you just get all jazzed and wanna scream it from a megaphone and by megaphone I mean twitter. Pah. I’ll just chill then. I’m just going for it though I wanted you to know. The funnier things that I say and write tend to be more explicit in nature and people just can’t take it so I may as well stack ‘em all into one huge anthology telephone sized phonebook atrocity…
And like, the reason for writing this right now even and why I am gonna cut it short then hit pause and regroup later on with it. Why can’t I just Sarah Jessica Parker it what is wrong with my daily headfuck regarding my own constitution?
It’s two days later now. Your hero lost a day there to red wine and many expressive heartfelt apologies regarding that.
My foot is feeling better. Also the last couple days I’ve been in pain and haven’t really spoken about it, seems to be lifting now. If you don’t have your health you do not have anything. I felt like I was dying and my shitty horrible life flashed before my eyes. I’m gonna go see my family doc it’s due time.
Legs.
Ass. See how I ran out of nail polish remover yesterday halfway through. Ratchet. A bro is dropping me off a bottle right now haha I win that victory at least.
My hair is kinda getting bananas in a good way. Like a lion. I might add blond streaks to it like a major lionness. No? Speak now.
I love red wine. I do not love red wine hangovers. Hmm. Pickle, that.
Wasted yesterday but today I did not and tomorrow just might be hot too. Here is hoping.
Give’r.
Spicy lobster mac.
Spicy Canadian Geese.
OMG am I cross eyed? Omg do not care.
Ribfest weekend sure was a bender if there ever was one. Being captain of a small town makes every little fair a gong show I guess huh.
Lifeblood.
Carpaccio. I am predictible.
On my run it occurred to me that I probably eat chicken wings at least 4 times a week.
Hello y’all. Girl with crazy life with no life is writing to you on a Friday night. It’s boring and I like it! Oh and that pineapple was full of booze. Delicious. Not ours but I imbibed. If you bring a to-go pineapple, we can be friends.
We drove up and down looking for thai, which was closed.
She’s the Wizard of Emerald City. I could pull those boots off maybe that’s why I’m so drawn to her?
This pic is so Tim Burton.
I love this love love love it.
I ate this entire brie appetizer, not the chutney though. Hangover walk of fame meal and I actually lost weight this trip.
My birthday is soon. Usually around St. Pat’s I start to get all, ooh birthday ooh don’t care but kind of care. I think it’s mostly anticipation excitement cos normally nothing’s really going on.
Ireland Emerald city rules.
Pre-gamed here. After the night prior’s festivities it took a bit of gentle easing back into the saddle a bit, a lot of a bit. We hogged up the jukebox and I got to feel what a fresh stack of new American 1’s feel like before unsheathed. Like fake money out of Hollywood.
This became juice. Amazing.
Probably about the most painful place to be before catching a plane, but also awesome.
This is my new desktop bg.
Never a dull moment.
I am hella glad Leslie insisted I wear this dress because the singer of this band we saw was wearing a cute little green dress while they were performing at Chicki Wah Wah and I would have jumped out of a window of jealousy if I wasn’t in a dress. Moral of the story: always wear a dress.
This pineapple belonged to the people who sent us drinks over. How cordial. It was a sloppy night. I think I am embracing my bohemian side. Maybe it is spring. Canadians have it rough, you forget this shit about yourself until you get a good dose of Vitamin D.
I hope they are still alive and thriving nicely.
Can’t finish? No problem. This pitcher was cheaper than a pint. $2 for a pitcher. I love America.
The man.
Rice beans by band versus..
These ones. And by the way, I get the whole rice and beans thing now. My dad loves beans and for my entire life I have made beans (British) jokes about it. Like, an entire plate of baked brown beans? Ew. This way I get.
Have you been noticing the Kurt Cobain case floating around the wires out there. It’s saddening all over again.
I am so happy it is sunny right now. The lake looks beautiful, sparkling, my arms are hot from its rays. Come on spring!!
And then it was over. I was pumped to have this seat. I got long legs.
Airport desolation, beautiful, art.
They’ve taken a lot of heat lately too, the missing flight, another one crashed before it left the ground. You can’t live your life being scared of everything all the time or what-ifs but let me tell you, lots of scary thoughts definitely went through my head during my travels. Oh, namely being false-brave suicidal, “I am ready to die”-like. Because what can you do? Nothing. But then you land and you survive and life goes on. We had a lot of turbulence flying from Dallas, straight off the bat it was choppy and the sky was a gorgeous retro fade sunset and we were dipping and on our side going through bumps. The lady beside me got out her prayer beads and I was like I don’t think that’s gonna help but you’re adorable for trying. Then I filled out her customs form, which you know about already. But anyway here I am now writing this.
And part of my last meal in Texas. I lost my appetite at the country club then I was like, I am having a steak when I land and it’s going to be glorious, cozy, everything for every feeling that there is! I had the Tenderloin tamales instead.
Which by all accounts were amazing. But I still haven’t nabbed my steak hankering so there’s a 100% chance that I will be eating a steak sometime this week.
BTW me Friday. Right after I hit publish this hair will be going Little Mermaid Ariel red.
Damara came over yesterday. I didn’t want to go to Toronto. Yeah, exactly, you get your ass out here instead dammit! We had a great dinner and lazy Saturday indulgences. I peeked at the bday gift she brought me too… wow.
I practiced singing the one song I am most obsessed with right now quite a bit this weekend. I want to make people cry (in a good way) when I sing. Damara listened on and said it was good. Work bestie heard my recording of it and was also floored so, I am excited to embark on my next new thing which is being a jazz singer bahahah. I wrote that on a plantation postcard I bought from the airport (I bought a whole pack) for Damara. What are you supposed to write on postcards, no matter what it all sounds pretentious. Hi, this is the weather, I ate that, we are going there and, see you soon etc. People should write the most insane things possible on postcards. I know I do.
This is from the scrapbook I made in Maine when I lived there for three months. I am thinking more and more that my story, or my book, is far richer than even I can possibly imagine and it shouldn’t be some shoe-horn buzzwordy try-hard social media snapshot of what I think people want to hear but should actually be of what people want to hear. I’m not going to over think it (yes I am) I’m just going to do it.
I promise I will never pose like this again. Promise not guaranteed.
I love lunch time because it’s a manner in which one can express themselves and then you instagram it and for days you get to consider your decision and then everyone weighs in on it like it’s a thing and I am sorry but, everyone eats.
We need trees like these.
I was re-booked on a flight to Chicago because my Dallas connection was delayed and I would not have made the Nola one. I was paged for a half hour then given attitude by the flight attendant. It’s pretty much guaranteed that I get attitude when I travel. You learn a lot about all sorts of people when moving about.
We just came back from a walk. I saw my ducklings as adults that we fed in the spring. Whimsical MUCH!!? Pictures at the end of the post.
Ate this last night, we made it. Actually I got all the stuff out of the fridge and was mental support, as in, dragged him off the couch. People just need a bit of motivation and you still get half the credit. We don’t drink much (snore) but we eat like cray. I am having a Saturday beer right now though. When you get up to have coffee I am already beering it. NICE.
Front yard, jungle English YOLO garden. When we went to the movie bf said that Mitty was a Yolo movie. Bahaha TRUE.
A blue sky in the winter is like, oh right, that’s nice.
Replete with sky porn.
I have pictures of this stretch of road blanketed in spooky mist during a sunset, very neat.
Shut up you slot. “Loot locked out” according to google translate. Aka don’t leave valuables behind. I’ll keep you posted once confirmed.
If blind, you will also be allowed to enjoy this park despite not being able to see anything, you can feel the leaves of various things growing and then read about them cos there’s brail all over the park. How nice.
Handi-captains forevs. There but for the grace of God go I. Wandelpad for honorary mention. (footpath).
Plants get so much rain water here it’s like a g-damn jungle. No complaints yo.
I’m like a sasquatch, all blurry and I blend in. I had those oxblood wrecking ball doc’s #FIRST #Miley BTW. I’m flattered, really.
So we meet again necklace tree. I am obsessed with you. No shame, all fame.
Trying to get the flash to go off. This bitch needs backlight not below light. Frig.
We’ll def do this again though.
I told you it was windy! Some trees could not deal tho.
I waited for forever for a photo of how camouflaged I was amongst nature. It didn’t ever really happen. Cool joke bro!
Christmas man was the best though. Time to cash out to some tv I’ll make a blerg post for ya tomorrow all about the all abouts kay, thanks, bye my babies are here :). Gonna watch the Bling Ring. I watched it a few days ago already but it’s one of those watch again type of things.
Hey guys spent the weekend realizing my dream of being a hotel mall rat it was awesome. Splurged on the fam-damily too since I’m stuck around them all the time anyway. Plus my bro never really lives it up like Tray Cray and I. We had my niece let ‘em live a little and it’s my birthday month, beginning of March break for the Hailster before we know it she’s going to be too cool for us. We stayed at the Sheraton and had a rockstar blast. I’ve stayed there many times before I have a lot of history with the big S haha and I breathed a sigh of relief when a ton of shit was forgotten off our bill at check-out.
We had girl’s night mom and I at Milestoners yesterday the first non-hotel meal I think? 4 Bellinis and 4 apps for 40 pretty deece and some personal water bottle vodky may or may not have made its way in to our glasses mom was like nobody cares don’t worry. It’s interesting hanging out with her because we constantly fight but we understand each other, are resigned to the lack of patience but just deal anyway I appreciate her more than she knows or will let her.
I love the underground PATH of Toronto. How you can avoid being cold can catch glimpses of the city’s underbelly these mini fast food places, this photo makes me happy because it is sad. It confirms the sadness I feel afflicted with day in and out. A hobo was sleeping off to the left I didn’t at first notice. I don’t think people should sweep homelessness under the rug ever. I appreciate everything in life that I have and I accept my shitty short comings. My mom’s compassion for the down-trodden is a huge inspiration to me. At first I felt it exploitative but now I see it as kind and honest.
It’s an eccentricity linked-to thing, I’ve inherited it too. Colourful people and life is what my decade-plus blog’s foundation is built upon. I believe in self-improvement and the nostalgia-effect of a hotel staged as backdrop to certain periods of my life is sentimental. Everyone has a favoured hotel with sentimental attachment. It can be a home away from home when away from home and the constant flow of strangers, travelers, each as intriguing as the last perhaps, always an exciting tale around every hallway corner or lobby shadow throw in a pool and let the games begin.
The bonus excitement of it being St. Pat’s weekend was palpable. It’s no mystery I adore escapism so this struck each glory nerve. I am super under-socialized, like always I feel no matter what the hell is going on in my life so it’s like going in to the belly of the attention beast trap. I dunno, people at fashion week for example in the phoney world of that might be accustom to forced socialized pressures of “an event” in a different way than one might at say a hotel lobby where people of all walks are being real, for real. I prefer real. It’s been said of me in photos at events that it’s strained and the look on my face is obvious, it doesn’t mean I don’t like being there I just don’t like certain people who act funky to me there like they know me, I prefer the anonymous kindness of strangers to the pretense of Oh, so you’re here faces.
My birthday falls on Easter this year. Whaddup JC.
I made it to the liqbo before it closed on Sunday at five through throngs of drunks cutting through the mall on their pub thrush breathers. I missioned it through the mall I wasn’t sure what our night plans were going to be but I wanted champers and vodky on standby just in case to avoid ordering room $ervice. Some rummies eyed my precious bag of booze and had me worried I’d have to throw down.
Secret side door smoking section.
View zoom in.
H & S stayed for Saturday night only this was saying bye while waiting for valet.
Bellini accoutrement.
Can’t believe how long she lasted up there.
Fads are fleeting so I’d pass on these pinks but if I was platinum I’d consider them.
I should have bought that scarf hat thing
So gorgeous. I passed this display a hundred times.
So many still lifes. A lot of photos are still sending I gave up have to get ready for gym soon anyway. I’ll try again tomorrow.
The Irish bar smelled like barf so we decided to have a pool/hot tub girl party instead waaaaaaaay better idea.
Marnie was wearing this shirt on Girls last night Shannon pointed out to me which means I am clairvoyant because I bought it Saturday. Hers is likely the designer version of it but anyway it’s gone now cos there was a tear in the sleeve and although it’s really flattering the colour it’s a bit of a one-trick pony so I exchanged it for a cardigan and some jewelry. I didn’t buy it for St. Patrick’s Day either I just love this colour plus according to Sephora emerald is the colour of the year aka anything green which compliments my hair tone like cray. We stayed here long enough for mom to film the Irish dancing girls, didn’t bother ordering a drink and bounced.
Shannon’s scarf is famous guess why.
See how my shirt is static clinging itself to my body lol.
Pretty mom. I’ll blawg her pics later.
Someone made a wise choice and left this behind. OR it was the last one ahha.
Outfit win. They were sweethearts.
His purse matched mine haha. We didn’t want to engage so kept it at that.
I wanted to see Oz but mom doesn’t like fantasy movies WTF!!!!! We saw The Impossible and bawled our eyes out infinity times instead yeah cool story Tracey. Great flick though. Gripping.
