ahh so spoiled. keira fucking rules, here’s why but before that dave says thanks too cos there is nothing he wants more than more hello kitty shit littering his house. he is very pumped to now be the co-owner of a hello kitty chachka.
ooooh which one could it be?
the suspense was gonzo as i had the weakling pretty bad in-trying to tear this thing open.
good choice!!!! so whimsical i keep staring at it and sighing dreamily.
now these are why she rules. i went vintage shopping with keira in vancouver and spent way too much money then spied these on our way out, wanted them but forced myself to stop (i have a sunglasses collecting problem) and off we went. then sneaky goes back and gets them for me so sweet. i totally forgot about them too.
they come in super handy for sick season. mostly though i cannot wait for summer now more than ever.
lets go skipping.
there’s a video of me reading the card. i think i sound raspy and whispery in it.
keira is one of those girls everybody wants to hate cos they’re so perfect but then you meet her and realize she can get down and shitty like the best of ‘em, namely me. she has a heart of gold, clearly, and is a girl’s girl which i absolutely love. i am too, people never expect that of me but anyway, i relate to keira because her real life persona rules and i’m not saying that her blog persona doesn’t i just mean i was expecting perfection and all that comes along with it (can often be boring no?) but turns out she is a real human being. the only way i know how to compare it by is how people feel when they meet me and realize how great i am, right steph? you just have to meet her, the end.
thanks gill xoxo!
you too britt and brad <3.
sage is jazzed for summer too.
here she is today.
i set designed that dog hair pube fuzz to purposely be in the shot too fyi.
here i am nite one of being sick and letting my hair dry naturally. wavy mess monster.
the landlord came over to complain about his sick wife and i said fifty times in-between his heavy portuguese-accented english ramblings that i too was sick. i was sniffling and sneezing and coughing like crazy, blowing my nose, dude still didn’t get it. then he said i looked good. i always try to mask my sickness under loads of makeup then by the time i get to mascara i stop and it appears like i have no facial features haha. the landlord cannot handle playing wife, making meals, i almost said that is so portuguese of you. it was obvious he stormed out of the house in the middle of a spat cos he mentioned he was really sick. anyway it was cool feeling like i was on death’s door listening to twenty minutes of complaining.
ps. if you want to make a thing of my portuguese generalization i fully invite you to do so. i went to a largely-attended by portuguese kids elementary school as streetsville’s community is hugely port. based (as well as italian) fuck, all my best friends were ‘chops and one of which’s father helped build the school. also five years spent working in an indie hardware store makes me an expert on every single nationality there is. one portuguese dude wouldn’t ever let me lift top soil bags into his trunk “because i was a girl and would get dirty” i had to fight him on it meanwhile he’s got parkinsons and is like a thousand years old. i just had to outright ignore him and chuck those (heavy) things into the trunk clap my hands clean and on to the next customer. portuguese guys are great workers but make them clean something, fix a meal, anything remotely femaley and all of a sudden their work-ethic goes straight out the window.
then i got up to change. pissing in those overalls is super annoying you’re sitting there half naked shivering your ass off crouched on the toilet.
so pale. nice muscle def tho! too lazy to do a full mask.
if you’re ever bored go for a tan when you’re sick and feverish. i’ve done it in the past and it is the stupidest idea ever right after tanning following sushi (near-ass explosion) lunch. hi i’m sweating and snotting big time now i am going to lie in an ultra-violet superbed coffin for 8 minutes.
not much happening in these parts.
except eating every hour cos as long as i keep eating i forget i’m sick. starve a flu feed a cold? feed a cold starve a flu? haha exact same thing i have been going over that line in my head over and over also it’s helpful to know what exactly you’re sick with. do you like that my friend olive oil (on the stove) is also wearing an apron? she’s so martha stewart i love her.
i think i’m on the mend despite still feeling utterly brutal. this morning it was pleasing to clear my throat into the toilet. i say no more.
i have this accent down-pat now. this is from when i first busted it out and it was fun decorating the tree talking like this. words with more than two syllables are choice. like, orn-a-ment for instance. i just decided that “for instance” is going to make its way into as many sentences as possible (that i speak) after everything i say. it will be my new like.
you get a massive headache from laughing and your jaw kills too. bye!
uuuuuuuuuugh last nite i slept with a roll of tp cradled lovingly in the crook of my arm and a wad stuffed up my right nostril it was fucking bliss. today i am just as if not more sick than i was yesterday. watched home alone 2 and actually laughed at things. under the weather delerium. the sound of the sigh that just came out of me was so sad a squirrel committed suicide in the backyard just now. thanks holly for passing this on. dave is coming down with it too now. fuckin’ party tiiiiyme!
intense douchebag vision.
how can you guys not be tanned if all you do is walk around beaches holding hands all the time? oh right, staged pap shots.
i asked dave why he had a black light. it belonged to his dad. cool.
my hair. way natural.
i did not purchase last month’s issue (or whichever month it was) because megan fox was on the cover as i do not give a fuck about her or have any curiosity to learn more. i am entirely mortified to admit this. i feel super fat and jealous and ashamed by it now think what ugly girls must be feeling! so for a month i acted indifferent every time i would pass a glance over to the magazine section of shoppers. another thought, megan fox on the cover of a magazine in my possession, on a table out in the open, and then we all have to talk about her and then i’ll be forced to talk shit about her cos i am competitive like that. see how insane magazines make us feel? oh awesome my other nostril just opened up ahhhhhh. anyway, i want to learn more about hilary duff because she is the good kind of irritating. i think her and lauren conrad are the exact same personality-type. smug, cunty, judgmental because they woke up one day and realised they’re boring and don’t know how to have good times. isn’t hilary duff with some athlete guy now? and other than tiger woods, how exciting are athletes? the only good thing is she’s getting fat again. or was for a short while there. lauren conrad makes megan fox look like tina fey. as in crazily likeable. thanks a lot lauren “forehead creases from all that eyebrow-raising judgementalism” conrad.
oh it’s a canadian hockey player so she gets two points for that. one point for the canada and the other guilt point is for my canadian pride and mandatory love of hockey for being canadian. those are the rules, don’t like it then leave.
i am sick. again. this time real sick. last week’s sick was not pretend sick, it was just different sick. anyway this sick’s symptoms include: being stuffed up, (no more smoking indoors dewds!)(EVER!) massive head pain from being stuffed up, ears hurt, (probably from picking them too much) sore/tight throat and all over weakness. i guess all those picking my nose and eating it trances have finally caught up with me. i have an important appointment in toronto tomorrow i’ve been counting on for weeks and i’m gonna have to bail on it as i’m just in the beginning stages of feeling this awesome i know it is only going to be worse two-fold come tomorrow. well at least i’m getting it over with this week.
that woman against the wall in black cardi would simply not shut the fuck up.
favourite drink picture cos it looks like pepto bismol, is pink and ghetto-seeming.
last nite i made an amazing batch of jerk chicken with pinto beans and rice ahh gad it was amazing. my brother and dave were dying it was so hot. good thing i bought that sour cream. everyone was peeling off layers. such a good high hot food is. jerk chicken, bob marley on a shitty monday winter nite, i recommend it. plus ganj obvs.
so pumped this bag is still kickin’ around i thought i had given it away in one of my many legendary generous tornadoes of selflessness. the person i thought had had it didn’t fucking deserve it anyway.
the salon totally wipes me out.
no? not a good look for me?
i have a photo of this on my blog from the last time i came to have my hair destroyed (entirely my fault though).
i love these little zany pieces of flare people proudly share with the world. thanks for letting me know you’re just as, if not more, insane than i am. no seriously lets hang.
sweet little dogs so cute so teeny.
sigh that necklace exploded all over the bedroom floor. i had it hung on a knob on the dresser slammed a door, it got hooked and snap, everywhere. i’m going to put it all back together again though, the wooden beads are cool.
being driven (crazy) by mother to hair appointment.
and here we have some awkward eye contact with sage while she takes a dump and models one of my necklaces. i put a shirt on her too for a photoshoot, took it off but this necklace blended in with her fur so she wore it for the rest of the nite. how elegant!
alright time to cruise the internet see you there!
this is not a pose. this is what thinking about posing in-between posing looks like. impressive.
speaking of ‘tarded here’s how mall madness sounds like.
and here are our stoner xmas lights.
there’s something else i wanted to share here but that document is on the mini laptop so out of luck pals, next time. if i could call a cab to drive me upstairs and retrieve it i would. i blame monday.
i am trying to work up the getting incensed over inconsequential bullshit side to my persona right now and it’s kinda hard. who knew weed chilled you out eh? i think you only get angry about things when you’re a drinker cos you’re either like, waiting to be pisstanked or pisstanked. or recovering from it. i walked through the pink packaging overloaded aisles and the only thought i had was, so what? surely you remember this and this so you know what im getting at? ok so baby in my pocket uuhhhhhhhm this toy is for the unimaginative mother to bequeath upon her daughter by. really i just see these as accessories for your barbies when you’re finished making them fuck and changing their outfits fifty times oh yeah maybe they can be mothers now.
this is that girl from school of rock. i have shared this tidbit with multiple people before actually looking into it. turns out i’m right. i feel like i won.
i feel like i won at being a giant loser.
no thanks pass i have standards and i’m not wearing beer goggles right now.
how is this fun? actually it looks really fun to me but for the sake of this piece (of garbage) lets make like it isn’t. i mean, 26 year old me thinks it’s fun. kid me doesn’t. mom guy, how is bath time pretend time supposed to be good times when i don’t even like taking actual baths? plus, all i’d want to do is fill this thing up with water and then you won’t let me play with it in my room or on the living room floor (carpet) so how fun and cozy is the dank unfinished basement looking right now?
ugliest doll features ever ps.
their eyes are a little too close together i think that’s what’s bothering me.
you win.
why did they make barbie as mini fairy have wider heads? check the jazz hands/wrist stance. looks painful.
boooooooooring. barbies come 2 for 1 now. desperate.
fresh from the playboy mansion. this is how kendra met hef. (body painted model at one of the parties)(yes i am awesome for knowing that and caring).
i wouldn’t mind a repro of the original cast not this modernly made-over one, puke. hi i feel zero nostalgia right now happy 50th ann!
hah nice skeletor nose holes 1959er.
ariel has a horse cos she can’t walk cos she’s a mermaid except she has legs now. yeah explain that one again please disney.
then we have an actual mermaid barbie. don’t forget to stick that one on the list of barbie’s many accomplishments.
then barbie finally does something cute (albeit ripping off kiddles).
i have the top right one in this ad. yes an original. got it from a flea market.
