I have a surplus of to be blogged photos piling up. My niece wants me to send pics from may 2-4 boating day no time no time! I feel bad. Also now I am sick as a dog. Time to slow down I guess? I’ll just start in the middle until my eyes go like this o_O and then I’ll take a nap. Nap attack Jack!

Lela’s plants that are probably spices.

Booboodoodoo 1 and 2 and 3 on the scene. I’m the third with the camera duh.

We didn’t know if her roommie was home. Turns out she wasn’t but came to to shush us up anyway once she got back. I kept saying how very eastern euro of her.

We weren’t even loud or playing music. She just wanted us out by eleven. FINE BYE.

Sweet digs.

Also sweet.

I was giving contradictory and copious guy advice to this girl here, hope she takes it!

Evidence that I am not too big for my britches, bitches.

The feeling is mutual!

I was longboarding all day so I look a bit messy. Hot mess trainwreck station choo choo.

Retro Raymi moment, on a balance board in 2005. They’re good for indoor practice. Can be dangerous. I dyed my hair blond immediately after this photo was taken and f-d it up, huge mistake. Hanging out with guys they are not the best colourist tip givers.

Hi girl bro.

Look how cool I am being! Amplified by Lela’s inherent coolness too, think they call that a coolness squared back home (no they don’t).

Poof I’m gone.

Oh great it’s Rebecca’s new look. NOT.

Rebecca you look my little brother. You are Benjamin Button. Rebenjamin Button. Blaha. I am running a fever so watch out.

Mad bro?

Rebecca did not want a moustache ride from him. They were french. Are french.

Apparently you need to be an astrophysicist to figure out mystery camera.

Not me though I got that shit on lock down.

I give up.

This is what you see when the keymaster lets you in and then you must answer a riddle.

Or just take my picture.

And here I am getting dissed. It’s okay I am used to it. Actually no this cat is dope and says hello to us all the time. It’s like hey where is that cat why hasn’t it come by yet? Oh there it is, what’s up, meow? Bech says it’s a short hair version of chi chi no no mushy mush (yes actual name) it’s crazy how my vocabulary has been infected with all of stupid’s dialect and combined in to one giant clusterfuhk of insanity. Hey it’s a living.

People dig the card. Tim (my d-ball teammate) wants some for his archives cos he’s featured on it. He’s the one throwing that annual giant hipster bash at 159 Manning. I will def be there with the girls. Make sure you reserve a ticket. Everyone will be there.

To the bar!

Pasta eating attire. I got grease sauce on it, boo. Vespa has happy hour mon-fri I shouldn’t even be telling you this information!

Cheap bellinis and free apps why am I still talking???

I can gladly OD on this.

I didn’t have pasta eating guilt because we shared and I filled up on bread and apps so then I didn’t even finish my half, but I got the pasta craving out of the way good and plenty. The pesto is better than the fettuccine IMO.

Tons more of these. Also there is mystery camera to deal with oh brother. I am not going to touch it until I get all the other shit out of the way first. My uncle gave me zero advanced notice that our presence was requested on the boat so it was an interesting and stressful surprise waking up to a billion missed calls and then booking it out there. next time call me the night before jesus christ.

Jules I hope you don’t catch my cold. Yolo?

Look at the pink sky. J’adore.

We were snap happy all day.

Not as many fish this day though, maybe cos it was overcast?

Weird blurry camera action. Some of our pics came out uber weird.

See Jule’s face.

Sigh. Being Italian has its advantages. Also, being 20.

We threw everything back in. Now, I’m not really into the inhumanity of this stupid “sport” but everyone does it so I just keep my trap shut. As you get older you should let go of getting angry all the time you can still try to change the world and do good but you got one life to live, don’t spend it nagging.

Have a shot instead! (drink responsibly folks).

These glasses are MIA on that boat or in my bag, I hope. Mom show Mike this photo please.

These guys were friends of my Uncle’s assistant. They were all like why were you late and I was like why didn’t you tell us last night?

I can fish. Not surprised right, pretty messy and tomboyish but I don’t like holding them before throwing them in, so slimy and I’m not confident enough to hold it steady, my nerves shoot right in to the poor thing and it starts to wobble like cray plus I’ve seen lots of cuts and blood, no thank yew.

It was a really fun time. I have to blow dry my hair now it’s turning to hay. My teeth aren’t dirty here it’s the blurry photo quality’s fault.

ps. make sure you rsvp and buy a ticket (cheap) for the Street Fighter costume party I’m a celebrity judge at: Open bar, food, film screening, free Taekwondo lessons from a 5x provincial champion!!! Kay bye. No wait aaan don’t forget the media premiere of High School is tomorrow at 10m I still have tickets for interested stoners out there.

You know what kid, looks like it’s gonna be smooth sailing from here on out.

I’m better now at keeping the compass on the bearing when a fish is on the line. The trick is to hold it steady through the wind and not to turn it so much, just a hair will do. But then you gotta turn it back again then the other way then the other way and then back again.

Cool shirt, where is it?

We ended the voyage on a good note. Jules has always wanted to neck me so it was the least I could do to acquiesce her.

I am in a dark place. haha.

Nice bruise. Summer is the time for bruises. Wah.

Except here I am on a train.

Sick pokemon nails. I can’t believe we pulled this expedition off based on the zero head’s up we had. ps. girls with bikinis are always welcome on my uncle’s boat. Kind of a stipulation.

Fishing license it’s ofFISHial. Yeah buddy!

The orig photo before instagram stomped all over it.

And now it’s all gorgy porgy puddin’ pie. Thanks I’d love a slice!

Thanks for the test tube Jesse Ship!

Lots of tickle trunk costume changes. Kay billions more later, land ho! The roof beckons. Take’r sleazy SOS styles (Strung Out Sunday). ps. You can book my Uncle’s ballin’ 30 foot sea swirl salmon charter fishing boat for a day, it’s got a 14 rod spread full bathroom below deck, bunks, kitchen, hang space, everything. Wishiniwasfishin.ca check out the website (it’s hilarious) for rates. You might even see me on it!

++++

GET READY FOR A CONTEST!!!

Anchor Bay Studios are holding an exclusive premiere for their upcoming film High School starring Adrien Brody at Varsity Bay/Bloor on Tuesday May 29th at 10am. I HAVE 6 TICKETS to give away to my special Little Raymis out there readin’ reading Raymbo and then when you go all you gotta do is tweet with the hashtag #GetBakedJune8 there is going to be some really “interesting” things happening around Toronto afterwards leading up to the official release June 8th – so follow the hashtag #GetBakedJune8 to stay in the loop btw.

Check out the trailer (Rated R for Raymi).

If you’re interested in watching Oscar award-winning Adrian Brody play a tattoo-covered, pistol packing psychotic drug dealer in a teen stoner comedy before anyone else in Canada to win all you gotta do is tell me how cool I am + write me something funny, anything, fucking impress me for once I don’t care. Tell me how to get Adrian Brody in the sack. Tell me a funny scenario involving me wearing these. Leave all comment submissions in my vomments or tweet harass me. The contest ends when a genius finally shows up. Good luck to all of you.

thanks again for the pasties Coral Reefer! If you were in TDot you would be one of my dates to this premiere.

I’m bringing the girls with me to the pre-screen gala so you can sit near us and throw popcorn at us while I drink from a flask baked out of my mind. If you kick my chair I will destroy you. Have a great Friday!

I bet you’d love to wouldn’t you? Boom are great in that way, I was fungry bordering on Hangry (f-ing hungry + hungry angry) so I skipperdee’d on over for a brew and a meal to fuel up for longboarding my heart out.

First I showed up looking like a greasy nerd and that shirt after sweating profusely in it in the sun all day needs to be torched. I need more of these shirts.

Love me some fitted shirts. Tony hooked it up. I like the direction you’re taking with the teeny shirts big time. Wore this out last night and partied in it a little bit, sponsor my party body! Genius. Like a Nascar driver.

This back room is going to have a makeover this week and Boom will have a new menu launch as well. Looking forward to that, I love how they change it up and the cheeky menu names it’s like a scavenger hunt reading that thing, very quirky which is eggzactly me.

Too bad this is blurry. My badonk doth ba-DONK.

This is the OH CANADA – “Best” peameal bacon and each eggs benny dish (there’s five!) consist of two extra-large poached eggs served on a toasted English muffin, with hollandaise sauce, BOOM frites, and fresh fruit garnish. Ballin’.

Yummy frites. They season ‘em like mawfcuka. Rosemary salt all that good stuff toss it in a big bowl put it on the plate BLAMMO!

And your hero had the KISSADILLAS – two eggs scrambled with chorizo, onions and cheddar cheese wrapped in a tortilla and garnished with salsa, refried beans, sour cream and BOOM frites. I like the innovative tortilla cups too. It’s not at all greasy and I did not go in to a food coma afterward. Boom food is great.

See my two missing nail polish fingers. I kind of like it? Not today though. My hands are majorly tanned now btw. That’s not good.

I needed to carb up.

Stylish place.

Two women stopped to admire my shorts and compliment them profusely “They are good quality!” “Very nice shorts” thanks! They were Italian I think, they get it, exotic sexy people.

Bum Bum Lauren is my family nickname. My mom never cared about me showing my nipples because she knew my arse was the money pot. Well, you don’t say Tracey! Though I think you just did. I am excited to get super toned from skating all summer and get better too. Yes I am careful. I’m going to install a BE CAREFUL jar for all you guys to throw me a dollar every time you repeat that. See you next week Tony :)!

After some patio dranks and before second round of longboarding. There is one hill in High park I will conquer, I start in the middle then go the rest of the way down. You just get too much speed but it levels out flat in the end which is fine I just have to get over my speed wobble fear.

Aw how darling at Salvador Darling. Lela’s roommate wanted some piece and quiet from Rebecca’s huge mouth so we had to go. Ha.

I just remembered I had a drag of a cigarette last night (for photographic purposes only) and it was disgusting and probably why I feel ten times more like sh- today. Great. Please don’t let me do that again ok thank yew.

Sean is throwing a party here tomorrow night. Hide your daughters! See you then. He plays great tunes. I will be the one dancing on the wall.

I’ll go through mystery camera now.

I am way better now, more competent and can do a 180 hop turn! Stoked. So in to longboarding again. I need some new gear to wear though *hint* also maybe a sport beverage too, I can hold things while longboarding. I want to make a video with colleague’s go pro camera. Okay bye. -Marty Mcfly.

Also this song is about me, ha.

ps. my new excuse (deterrent method) is: soft yes, hard maybe. Try it and hey, you’re welcome.

It was an awesome time warp and city break. I’m still on whatever’s fuckin’ clever time. Way to be! Night. I’ll make good on lost time tomorrow, sim simmah.