Hey. I’m trying to think of something to blog. I am avoiding the TO DO pile of somethings to blog. I also have cellphone pics to burn through. I just finished some interview q’s (finally) and finished up a little business emailing (no, not a nap lol) so time to make like a blog and blog. This is from May 2-4. Perfect weather weekend. A really great time. The city was eating me alive to I skipped town for awhile.

I wore the dreamy mint dress.

I matched my nails to it.

I started longboaring again.

And I got a lot of sun.

This is me pulling a Peter Sellers whisper I AM DRUNK SHHHH move on Rebecca.

This was a long frickin’ day too. The High school premiere so early in the morning (Minx’s are nocturnal creatures), shopping our way to eaton centre, drinks on patio then walked all the way home to freshen up for this.

Fatigue hit me once we were on the Caddy patio and then darkness warshed over the dude and it was night night.

I’ll say it again, that outfit was the breast.

Always wash your hands, always take the opportunity to have clean hands in this germy world especially when sick which I was at the time. If you’re too tanked to wash your hands then do not touch anything. Sometimes I am known to say f-k it I am cleaner than absolutely everything in this bathroom so I’m not bothering this time. Usually Sound Academy’s and Lee’s Palace ladies rooms which are kind of trashed always. I will keep you posted on other places in the city I don’t wash my hands when I think of it. If I am killing time then I will wash my hands. WOW HUGE NEWS BROS.

I kind of look like a midget here? Where is my neck?

I may or may not have made my stomach talk to people.

I didn’t have one.

Excellent.

That’s Rebecca’s sexy NYC dress.

Okily dokily changing directions now I met up with mummsy at her gym to check it oot. She won an ambassadorship for a 1-on-1 personal trainer program at Emerge – a Lifestyle & Fitness Training facility in the heart of D/T Oakville (psst it’s where the rich people go). This is Darrin he’s my mom’s trainer (the gym’s founder) and naturally by now they are besties. He’s cray like her and mouthy. Great. I was annoyed immediately by them lol.

But it’s working. Darrin’s go her on a strict diet (the same shit I was telling her years ago but she would not listen) that she sticks to and she works out regularly with him plus walks extra on her own cray cray Tray Tray time. Go mom!

What a poetic parking ticket.

After gym we had tea.

Past success stories.

My posture is aight.

Lois has joined the training program too. I think I might do a little working out here MAYBE. I’d rather be longboarding around town actually, which I woulda been if it wasn’t friggin’ raining all weekend long.

The gym has a sweet terrace balcony. Mom, make Darrin host a cocktail party here with healthy snacks during Jazz fest or something.

He was pissed but did not blow his top.

These are my mom’s photos. I am a lay-zay ass with mine I am too overwhelmed by the amount of content I accumulate so I sit on it, look at it, poke around with it, sprinkle it around tumblr a little. It’s like my brain is clocking out, I think I have overdone this blog-thing so I’m slowly letting the air out of my tires so they don’t burst, slowing down a little. Too much life is the problem. Also the amount that we document.

Ooh mom wears Bench.

Looking good mom.

There it is behind me, above Paradiso. Which my mom pronounces, PARA-DI-SIO and I have long since stopped correcting.

Okay now, to tackle the boat pictures for my niece. Time for a doggy run and to prepare for a fun thing I am doing this afternoon! I get to wear my floral apron finally.

I better unfold it. *Girl squeal*

Hi Guy Smiley here on the scene reporting live from 1994 (when Street Fighter came out).

Ain’t no party like a Street Fighter party ‘cept maybe for a Mortal Kombat one. Mebbe.

Okay so like we went to this tewtally killer party last night bro and there were all these people there and we got totally annihilated and played video games on the big screen (street fighter obviously as well as a race car explosions game TUBULAR stuff) and then we street fought ate popcorn and I mc’d the costume party off the cuff and pulled it off completely. I’ll watch the video of it later and see whether it’s suitable or not for public consumption sharesies.

I lost three times in a row to the same guy playing this. But I beat the owner (Jonathan) of the theatre in car racing. Drunk video game driving on a theatre screen is the breast. I believe I peaked with this statement about it today though, “Pew pew explosion pew pew vroom vroom beep honk EXPLOSIONS.”

I was a bit lethal with my costume critiques (it’s what they wanted) but I was also very fair and nice and I even let some guy in the audience in no costume whatsoever win a prize because I am the nicest most generous human being on the planet if not this entire solar system. The roller derby girls liked my schtick too. Schtick? What schtick this is how I am, man.

Seat’s taken. It was very nice being the guest of honour and having dranks brought up to me (and the girls) plus cab fare to and fro! So many sugary drinks oh god it felt like being on a ship cos the floor was slanted in the foyer and then again in the theatre, trying to counter-balance that in mary jane wedges, complete boozy nightmare voyage adventure and the tropical umbrellas added to the allure, no complaints here. Btw I started wearing mary janes again cos I am no longer blond (too much of a Courtney Love combo) no one guessed that Raymi Trivia Q I put out there weeks ago. tsk.

We had a grand time and all who came out got their, whatever they wanted to get out of it, out of it. Many people even came away with personally tailored nicknames by yours truly, turtleneck somewhat seen here too. I liked his pretentious turtleneck.

Julesy Booboodoodoo was on the scene tornado kickin the streets away.

I will be totally fine if we get in to a street fight sometime this summer or you know, a fake one.

I may just have another screening party here sometime in the future. Any f-ing movie I want! Then bring xbox video games to play afterward or if my attention span wanes (it will) halfway through my stupid boring movie turn it off and play toy story 3 on xbox.

The taekwondo guy was not expecting our Julesy I was thinking ooh just you wait while rubbing my hands together anticipatorily.

Anybody with night vision goggles woulda been amused in watching us trying to navigate all our drinks and bodies and stuff into the back left aisle there’s like this uneven wooden riser platform to negotiate I was tapping the air with my foot for a long time three blind mice styles. Adorabz. Those gloves originate from my Gulag burlesque performance btw. I don’t think I ever got them back on in time though! ha.

Militia shit turns me on. I’ve seen a lot of war films.

Thanks again everyone for having us we really enjoyed ourselves and I love being included in shit like this ya I do you know it!

I think there were some crushes going around too lol.

Timing our kick shots was hard. Impossible.

Hotkward. I felt like Tina Fey at certain points on the microphone. More like micro-OWNED.

I cracked that Cyrus made this entire party built around his outfit that he loves haha. His friend is the taekwondo guy too so it makes sense. I learned Cyrus’ entire dirty history within seconds of meeting him pretty funny also he told Ted that “Raymi is like a celebrity and shit so respect man.” Ted won a prize for his costume too you’re welcome. Also you’re welcome for not divulging your juicy secrets on my blob.

Kick fail #235 I mean we can kick but the timing and the camera, not so.

Rebecca liked this one and you can barely notice me over her crotch area. Lookin’ fit damn girl it’s a print.

Most amazing pants ever they kept me contained all w/e long and stretched with me. 3F rules.

I was going for a facts of life kinda thing.

We liked Ted. I made all costumed persons perform a special skill or talent on the stage to help us determine their worthiness. It was funny. No idea what the hell Ted did but he was gonna win anyway. Everyone was like who are you supposed to be (to me). None of your business that’s who. I couldn’t remember anyone other than Chun Li. There were tons of army dudes in the flick so I was like there I am one of those guys okay people there thanks.

But of course.

Shout outs to Sean W for coming out too!

At least I am blinking. While you were blinking is a hotly anticipated sequel flick to While you were sleeping. It’s not a very long movie though.

Thursday saw me making my fourth music video cameo, these are some other shots from that.

Here I am sprinting.

Doing this with the Maestro watching was amazing.

I liked the fox and Rebecca liked the giraffe.

That’s Maestro in the Statue of Liberty tracksuit jacket I wasn’t sure how paparazzi I’d get so I just wanted this sneaky one in case it wouldn’t happen.

Now I wanna throw on some Tina Turner.

Pizza party.

Pickin’ out some toys.

and publish.

Happy Sunday!

Now where were we ya little scamps? Is it Friday already? Well I’ll be. Lah-da-dee la-da-day. And so on. Like this outfit? Me too wish I wore it for the music video yesterday instead of sparkle dress 2000 but I saw the stills and it popped so I made a good bold move idea (for once) after all. I just wish I stashed an extra outfit for IMMEDIATELY after.

We killed it homies. All we had to do was make like we were taking pictures of ourselves like we always do anyway but this time get it right no ugly face that you gotta beg your girl to remove off facebook two days later when you come out of your bender, just one two three pose bam, bam, bam, bam BAM BAM BLAM BAM.

Guess who had more versatile looks of the two, put money down on it even. Just cos they diff don’t mean thay aint’s stupid. Please don’t put my furrowed forehead crease one in thank you.

The Maestro and yours truly. What a guy, so down to earth and nice. We felt really shy and awkward but played it cool but inside heads freeeeeeeeeaking out!! ahahah.

Trish also had a cameo why didn’t you tell me to dress like that? I can dress like that. I DRESS like that. She’s an artist on the same label I think? Anyway she was nicer than hell and came right over to me and Rebecca and blabbity blah fangirl crush and the rest is history.

Don’t even ask me why I wore my hair like that or glasses I don’t want to talk about it. No one else seemed to mind or care though and when we were doing this scene (Bech and I) Maestro said if he could whistle he would, traffic definitely took notice of my shiny ass. I forgot we were in the presence of a major celebrity when people would wave at us from cars and shit I’d wave like they were waving to me well, they weren’t! I wanted to jump into a sewer mega-embarrassing lol.

We are a rap star now Rebecca! Well I already was cos I sang back up on Roger Mooking’s new record AHEM *dusts shoulders off* (no need I is golden) please dear god stop talking like this me.

I used to live in this neighbourhood for a time it was surreal to come right back there again for a project such as this. I felt proud of myself. Baby did good. They made me keep my purse on the whole time haha.

Okay fine it was actually for a pepsi commercial. Jajaja. There’s a sequin dress pepsi commersh out there somewhere I am sure. This is Joe, thanks to Joe I got this gig. And many more in le future too SWEET.

Wearing this outfit even woulda been smart but nuh-ooooooo I had to send a photo of my sparkle dresses. Anyhooters I’ll get over it. This was the Skinny Girl part-ay at the drake we went to on Tuesday night. You did not have to be skinny or a girl to attend but it couldn’t hurt. Guys were there too. You gotta “be somebody” or “in the know” you know? No? Fine. Lol.

These are from the family camera I am very proud of Rebecca for figuring it out on her own and these are the shots she chose it feels like I am mother of a caterpillar turning into a blogerfly. Teardrop. When I was texting her she was telling me to SHUT UP stop. stop. stop cos I was breaking her teeny concentration powers so I am happy and grateful with what I got (through gritting teeth anxiously awaiting some other adorabz ones of moi I am imagining must have been omitted). Love you booboodoodoo and Jules. I think being my friend must be annoying, I doubt it though.

Some pro shots of the night. Good food (I missed out on that and was drinking mine), great drinks, great girls, fun times, free ponytails (missed that too) and nail spa.

Product shot. Got a bottle of this to go alright alright awright. It’s already toast haha.

They said I look like a hipster Harry Potter care bear.

This one’s the wiener though for sure.

Last week (I think?) we did a group vloggity vlog project for a client, well, this one part of it we all come together and ham it up in graffiti alley, fashion district and at dark horse. It was fun and done by eleven, nothing like a hard day’s morning’s work.

Not really the blondetourage anymore is it. Well now we have ways around that. L-R (Lauren to Raymi lol) we have Lauren O’Nizzler, Casie, and me me me me me! I have more of these pics as usual. When the video is edited I’ll be posting more behind the scenes actions from my two days of covering Queen and King st respectively. Raymbo on the Street.

The first day I did ponytails on may 2/4 w/e it just came to me to be more adorabz so I did and so now it’s one of my new things. Could not have done it with my roots and platinum.

I also wore this dress in the vlog video so I guess the photes are kinda relevant.

I have to strop treating my blog like a truck stop though, spreading my content around everywhere on the webz last of all here. Shame shame. For the hardcore lurkers and multi-platform friendly elites feels like they’ve been blogged already before cos it’s old news now. Fine line bloggeroonies.

On May 2-4 I skipped town and it was great. You guys are witnessing a fabulous midlife crisis way ahead of schedule lol. Actually I think it’s a normal phenomenon for late 20’s spilling over in to thirty-ish chicks to live pedal to the metal, ones who made career/school life choice sacrifices I mean but yeah, a woman is in her prime at 30 so it makes sense. Also it’s like one day we wake up look around and go HOLY FUCK MY TWENTIES ARE OVER I better do something about this and that “something” happens to be itsy bitsy teeny weeny bikinis to prove that we are not old and then partying, a means-vehicle of proving. Yeah buddy. Look at Pauly D, he celebrated his 30th birthday on the set of Jersey Shore last season. My clock is tickin’? You betcha tickity tock lets do this party window is a closin’.

So open the goddamn door then haha. I take comfort in the fact that I got a lot of brosephs and chickadee friends a decade plus older than I am and therefore still consider me a wee baby.

Phenomenon? PHENOMENOT. Funny right. I made that one up yesterday. Okay I gotta get back to “work”. No really. Kay bye. Much love.

TOMORROW I AM JUDGING A STREET FIGHTER PARTY COSTUME PARTY CONTEST WHaaaaaaaaaaaat? Yep! It’s true. It could happen to you. If you’re young at heart. Pre-sale tickets! open bar + food + costumes + free taekwondo lessons + 1994 screening of street fighter = not to be missed.

This is what will happen if you do or don’t come. Think about it.

I have no idea what is going on anymore, what hello? I am talking to you out of a shoe. Just kidding I have not lost my mind NOT YET BABIES. How many girls feel that way sometimes though like they are freaking about to lose it at any fucking second? A gf of mine said one time she had to get physically removed from her apt by her besties for a little calm down babysitting time at theirs. I think we can call that (extreme) white girl problems? Hmm not really I know some cray (dope) black chicks too, crazy is not exempt from race that’s for damn sure. Wow look at this little expert here. Seeing as I am regressing back to life at 21 (BEST YEAR EVER) I may as well take it back to how I wrote and blogged back then. Excessively detailed. In a shit’s hitting the fan kind of way. That makes the reader like AGHHH!! Holding on for dear life the entire time haha. I think with a spurt of nice weather and sunshine I get happy so I act goofier and I am trying to just enjoy it. I “stop caring” and start enjoying. The worst thing about having a solid life like this is not enjoying it. How assholic.

I got conceited about this even though the markers dried out pretty quick, the pink one for sure. I lucked out on orange.

Took awhile to get it right. The picture fools.

Yo save me a piece I do not want to waste my money on this. I’m a new product whore fyi. raymiATraymitheminx.com get am me hints guys.

The Lesnos™ dragged some discarded planters, two of them, huge, heavy. With a dolly. Two trips up to Rebecca’s balcony A woman on the ground floor asked if Bech was Russian (because we were strong like ox?) then asked if we had a mattress for sale. Sad face. Bech is Austrian. It was a cute encounter. 2 Broke girls much though? Lol.

Next jam to be overplayed and over with in 3 days. Right now though I’s drinking it in.

Dancing to Ghostface on my Uncle’s boat. One of many highlights.

Sunday was a fun day in city, a boozy blur. Very fuckin’ Jack Sparrow.

My ponytails lasted in to the next day as well. PARTY STATUE.

When I get through these I’ll do the family boat cruise post. I am an A-hole. See what happens when your entire life turns into a blog bulletin board requirement.

I love my bargaining chips. Perma-boat placement success secured! This guy. (me your hero in case it wasn’t obvious). Thanks Julesy.

Ol blinky is talking about some car he wants to next buy for his triple midlife crisis purchase (his words). He gets shy in front of babes and impresses by talking about his toys like all men do. Cool story bro tell it again.

All the Kerouacs are colourful characters.

No aunt Janet no fancy spread then so this is the lunch I made for us.

Jumper times! No not train track jumper ew gross no. 3F jumper ah-duh.

Got a box of shoes back from Adventurehouse and this is the screening process it had to undergo for house introductory purposes for some reason (because cats are retarded).

No really it was this big. I will cut you if you make a camel toe comment. No Rebecca will. that’s one of her sayings. I try not to make literal threats that get taken literally when you type them out on the internet. But no really though you mess with the bull and you get the horns. WINK. AHaaha. Do you like my big tough guy act?

Can you imagine if I just fell off the back of that thing? That would be fuh-nay. Bet you’d like to see that and yes, I did imagine falling off and sploshing in to the lake. It would have sucked.

Me right now btw and speaking of JOing. Haha what?

I picked out some new products to demo and review from Adult Deals Daily. Sexy minxy “me times” I am stoked. You know you’ve made it when your spanking it gets sponsored. Oh lordy.

The Lelo is a couples vibe they’re doing a featured deal on at the moment. Intriguing.

I like that it looks like it came from the movie Rango, or an iguana, Rango? No idea. No wait I’m right. Sort of. Anyway it’s on sale for $119 at the moment, you have 4 days left. Tell me how you liked it. I’ll be reviewing some other products I will not blow the surprise on just yet. It’s hard to keep my trap shut. But I will do it!

That flippity flap cape is also from 3F I don’t think I’ve worn it out yet. If you saw the piles of clothes and shopping bags in my tickle trunk boudoir I would faint.

Now back to the boat. And my Bruise Watch Summer 2012. It’s faded more now thankfully.

Think you’ve seen that one already. Second time’s le charmant.

Rods everywhere.

O_O.

WishinIwasfishin.ca

Bring your own hot girl. Or maybe there will already be one on board.

Or below deck.

Change times.

Flattering. I always wanted a bond girl suit. See my purse back there haha.

I love iphone reversey mode.

This didn’t look that stupid after all I coulda rocked this look for the rest of the afternoon. Whatever. Now I know. At least we can enjoy it backwards still.

I am a daredevil standing back there.

You don’t have to bring one single thing on board for fishing my Uncle’s got it all covered. And then some.

Woah. There’s an awkward potato.

Yeah buddy all cool now.

I like to keep it Michelle Tanner as much as poss (the hair). Don’t have a cow man which, she appropriated from The Simpsons. obvs but still flies cos Michelle can do whatever Michelle wants. GOOD NIGHT MICHELLE! (ps. superbo RTM FH homage post right hurr BTW).

Jules was like what a ballin’ boat. That is correct. Affirmative. *robot voice*.

I look funny. I refer to myself as a Muppet 400 times more now oh great. AMINAL SMASH.

Cha cha cha see how my arm looks huge but it’s not? Nice.

Better.

Lates.

I love going through the harbour, is that what they call it? I guess so. All calm and serene, back at night too it’s exciting but on the way out you have plane on a runway anticipation you know it’s gonna happen and then they gun the motor and you can rock a surfer stance as you just leave the marina passed the pier. I’m a water baby for sure.

New flag.

Now we all have fishing licenses haha.

Perfect Canadian Tire outfit. Where are the Canadian tuxedos?

TO BE CONTINUED. I have interview questions to answer and a music video to prepare for. Plus a ton-a other ting tangs. Laundry to fold. Ugh. BYE.

YEAH buddy we can find you a rich husband here. Don’t leave! j/k

Carrying shit sucks. Bye for real now.