Hehehh next time when I am not too busy paying extreme and utter business attention I will draw a better ‘stache. A hitler one. DUH! No wait, for all that Movember crap do any dudes do that?
Be my dumpling.
So delish.
Toronto’s not so bad eh.
WANT.
I like the colour of my eyebrows right now.
Stew was all, Raymi, you may have something here with this bear thing. Uh duh.
I am clearly animal. Covered in platinum hair. Hahaehh. That’s the petit scandinavian lineage.
Kawaii super.
This conceited moment is courtesy of a phenom hair day. The tresses are getting longer. The longer the hair, the more power I have like the King of the Sea of all the mermaids.
Goth missionaries. Something out of Tim Burton. Hi we are from the Church of Satan. Colleague and I stared at them, they stared back. The skinny guy had black patches over his Emo grayscale tweed blazer and he was reading verses. Our car burst into flames aagggh. MISSIONSCARIES!
I have thick french eyebrows. They are painted gold now. I am the Scissor sisters tour outfit model-incarnate.
Streaming Survivor last night. How I am so built for that show. I would marry an american so I could get on it. I’m very scrappy and limber and insane I could so do all of the puzzles and challenges, eat the weird stuff, the social game, the mind f-ing. Someday.
Dynasty moment with my old buddy Sean Ward and a VIP Sushi Delivery. Damn I so gangster. Thanks Umami Sushi!
Went for a rasta run at some point. One of the things I will be missing most of all thanks to so long summer. Boo. Ok Friday Night lights lets do it right! Gonna watch Jersey Shore cannot wait, our friends! (we watch it when it’s online at our own leisure). Big Brother were my old friends til they died off one by one, but now we have new ones in Survivor. Omg I am so common I dig it. I greatly relate and identify with reality television and am so envious of Jeff Probst’s life now that I have wanderlust in travel, exile, and tropics. I am in paradise in the mind when I watch anything blue ocean or palm tree-related. Watching Jersey Shore feels like a vacation too. Can’t wait to branch out to European hot spots sometime.
(video removed so the following is relevant to a shirt I was wearing in it).
I will retire this song from my blog now. This is the second part of it when she really rips her. That was the most expensive shirt I bought ever really that I can think of. My Smythe blazer was purchased with free money ($1000 gift card to holts renfrew!) so I don’t know if it counts cos it’s not out of pocket. It was almost $800. Then it went viral a week later, the label, by kate middleton selecting it while visiting toronto. The same happened with my monster bikini which every girl I know said they tried it on or saw it, everyone wants to glom off the mainstream or affix themselves to it. Yeah but DID you buy it? No you di’in’t. There is no denying that I am a trendsetter, an originator and early-adopter. Getting to things first, is not only an obsession, it’s a compulsion. When you live on the beat, at the pulse, in a city or largely I feel, born with it (a cool gene) this is where the compulsion comes from. It is ingrained. Debate me all you like about this alleged coolness but you’re wrong.
It’s a skill. You can’t purchase cool just like Douglas Coupland said purchased experiences don’t count. What about all the rich guys in the world, what’s next? Celebrity. Not satisfied til “it all” is all attained. I know I am not stopping until I am in a feature film, big one. Even if it kills me and it most certainly will.
I am having one of those and now what do I talk about moments because at the moment I am immersed in 4 separate projects. Half the shit I am presently doing in life I should have been doing years ago. I think the city would have swallowed up and spat out a 19 year old trying to lead a burlesque troupe, I was too green, too young. Now I am ready. I want to, as usual, blab about every detail about these projects because I am hyper and excitable and proud. My edginess gets the better of me, bests me and I decided to stop obstacling myself. Yesterday I flipped out and said if I can’t undo my image (colleague said it doesn’t happen over night) then I may as well throw in the social media towel cos this is bulls-t.
My traffic is better. My rank is HIGHER. My legend, older. People are actually reading my blog so it tells me they just don’t think people have the capacity to change. The raciest thing about me is my tits. Which haven’t been seen in ages. I love children and animals. I am no phoney.
My legacy it will be Rock and writing. Maybe some art too. How f-ing cool no? You know who is in to that? Kids. I have a niece who is 13. You want to sell things to these tots, they are reading Raymbo just so you know. They follow where cool is and I’m sorry to break it to you but IT IS RIGHT HERE.
I don’t toot my own horn too often cos in my experience I have found that is when things sincerely go to shit but I am just glad to hear that others have been and sometimes karma has a way of biting you. A pal said we don’t congratulate ourselves too much, or enough. So maybe I’ll do just that. I busted my ass this week, so cheers to ya if ya did too!
Some of my Swarovski pieces. Hahaha pompous a-hole. That ribcage chest in the bg is from a broken UO necklace, it was awesome until Red Flag broke it in a partying at central black out dance vortex.
Kate Spade is a classy broad. Looked online at what this purse is selling for $290. Ooh la la.
LES is thataway. Loved this pair.
It was an interesting hair day.
Drinking and Draking General storing is deadly. Everything seems like a good idea at the time.
Yours for $80.
Blog slave what did I tell you about twitter?
I got my toms here (majorly reduced too) before every wiener in the city got theirs. They’re kind of mega dangerous to walk in IMO.
I live on a canadian the epitome of postcard, those look like logs to me. Train tracks stacked I think. Burly eh. Plus the glorious gladstone hotel.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMM. I never eat french fries (your heart looks like a pile of french fries you dumb asses) but I ate these like a raccoon on speed. spicy mayomg.
This Swiss guy (I read this on an airplane therefore it must be true) said that the concentration of creative people in a city exchanging ideas, (unlike all the too cool designy intellects on the drake patio NOT talking to each other) the more prosperous that city. This is why I talk to every one, person, place and thing. I blew one guy away with a kate spade packet of matches. It’s the little things.
I bought that book. The pen, Stew almost made off with. Would you tip that person more if they handed you a Swarovski pen when the bill came? SPARKLES OMG YES 25%! Btw tipping rule is, in the city it’s 20%, suburbs, 15% But if you want to floss it all places then 20% is cool. Not that I pay for anything ever haha.
Preparing for battle.
That’s my Sienna Miller fake-outfit. The hat is from Valency, her husband is in the Air Force and she sent me three jumpsuits we used to party in. My one (the smallest) bit the dust when I went Paint-balling. I took out two teams independently like a nutcase and looked back behind me like totally aghast by what I had just sole-heartedly accomplished not being normal. It was the absinf, in the words of Russell Brand.
This suit was actually in combat and their unit was in the first Transformers movie in the beginning. The “owners” at paintball (guys who need to paintabll every weekend because they’re in the army or cops or the terminator) thought I was an “owner” too. Nope, just mental. I rolled through the sand like Nick Nolte and in hindsight, paintball was terrifying.
I have an interestingly shaped head, it’s a diamond when I lose weight and heart-shaped when I party.
It was like a mini apartment for three nights. I really truly cannot wait to go back. First Spring of 2012, I will do just that. I have roots here after all, The Kerouacs are french you know.
I brought the tickle trunk.
I captured every second of the sun coming up, in the calm warm silence.
It was beautiful.
That window was my perch, you could sit in it. Crouch. Read a book. Write.
We got in a fight after this, I told him to be nicer next time people can’t help their drunken reactions to the Raymbo, shoulda seen it at wakestock Oh the stories! If ya can’t handle the Raymes, get outta the kitchen. Though I gotta hand it to him he handles my burlesque stuff rather well and is a big help too.
He was so my muse, so playing to my little weird headwreath.
Full Penny Lane now.
Australian too. They’re freaks. Just you and me and Crocodile Dundee.
Total genius.
VIP is the place to be. Everybody watches you and thinks you’re someone and you dress like a someone anyway and encourage that notion. Dancing with other bandaids/ Miami Horror. PARTY.
And who the f- is Raimi? I dunno but I got her drank tix whatsup!
And then I get hit on.
The moment it went down. I liked his accent. Teacher got jeals. Sheldon is posing like raymi. Shawny and his date plus Stew, the total crew.
I might have an art show about post show beer can piles.
Live shows make me feel alive. It’s going to be a long winter.
This was like rubbing stardust onto my goddamn eyeballs I basically partied with mickey mouse fantasia and you didn’t. Tran and ginger and I have been reply all emailing each other hilarious ridiculous shit all day long and that’s why this post is delayed (plus I was doing a proposal).
Look at him in that hair shirt thing over there. I almost wore the bear coat but was like NO, people will make fun of me LOL then we see a live sushi fish head gymnastical affair.
Everyone in the audience was laughing dancing loving it such a great vibe, thrill, rush.
Weirder and weirder kept happening.
Those girl dancers have couture white fluffy tutu for a shirt and golden crystal full body faces (ballaclavas) it was bananas. See.
Hey I like your hat.
We danced together, I know weird right? It happened.
Dude, your starfish looks like a 420 rally hat.
Omg and this was amazing too.
I could do this I could do this! I want to tour sign up!
It had elements of the fpp too. Black lights, people as that big ghost ghoul goblin ahh so much, something Katamari Damacy-ish too Hahah how lost are you right now Dad?
Roman hats are also hot. I need to buy an actual tickle trunk.
I was front row centre for a live King Kong sacrifice, man behind the curtain at the emerald city and LOST. I was thrown into the sparkle cyclone and a Unicorn was kicked up my nose with rainbows flying out like boogers.
It was hysterical. Who wants to come to the next big weird thing like this? Stew and I were like, to hell with moping at Mitzi’s any night of the week we can just take a cab to the cirque du soleil gratis and be kings up in vip. Then we can roll out our new Raymi as Nardwuar TV SHOW.
Raider’s of the Lost Ark. I can speed reference every single influence to this Masterpiece theatre.
And then the show ends with requisite almost famous penny lane moment. I’ve toured before, have you?
Total girl p0rn.
Uh maybe another night. I’m not thin enough for a crop.
I noticed a few Third Reichy Connotations too. Dictatorships are so hot right now, well in theatre, music, performances. Deities are on pedestals for reasons yeah? What the hell do you think I am sitting on as I type this to you haha.
Writers are personal Gods anyway, they lead monastic lives. I read this.
The new thing is 40 things going on at the same time. Brilliant.
When the flashing strobe light subsided for a second I noticed there was hair EVERYWHERE!
If my brother were here he’d go, “those are dancing Laurens.” to burn me cos of my big nose hahah a-hole.
This is Third Reich to me. I want to build a podium for my next Gulag dance.
Also look what I just found.
So weird.
That scary ghost thing loomed into the crowd then floated away when a person put it on. It was like puppeteer stuff.
Gorgeous crazy fashion. Futuristic. I want to wear a Yak too!
He danced with his fans.
There’s the money shot.
Princess Maid Marion Carnage.
Then more on the homefront.
Diet Coke night.
Jerk Nachos. Melted Brie and smoked gouda, green salsa and siracha.
Teddy Bear picnic-sized. I am going to dance with Goldilocks. HOT right?
I look like I got punched in the eye. Stew said this looked good but that was at 3 in the morning so haha meh.
You look like the bad kid from a Christmas story. That was on my nipple. I should give it to Rob.
We made the wine rack by seconds and I had to go pee so bad. We had an amazing cab driver.
The big clock is so we know when to kick people the hell out. Windows work too.
And these dopes crash on it. I mean, when they’re not too busy puking, crapping with the dog. I just dry-heaved.
OH LOOK! I have decided to crowd surf, cross-dress, french kiss crowd surfers, mosh, take my kurt clothes off down to my skimpy anarchy bikini all while belting smells like teen spirit out at least 5 times in a row. F- UP will be there, Tokyo Police Club! and other notables, its made Pitchfork Media. I got to it first! Come experience this during Nuit Blanche it’s the 20 year anniversary for Nevermind. I will be rick rolling everyone from my neighbourhood/school/life. Last year I went as Courtney for Halloween, I do Kurt better. I’ll wear my docs for protection, high-end chic plaid shirt with cut offs. Maybe a dumpy lingerie negligee. Hair is perfect already.
I am going to full body performance art recreate this. It’s the moment I have played over and over in my head as an Emo little teenager. I bought every Nirvana cassette with garage sale money. People made a rumour that I smoked weed in grade 7 cos I smoked cigarettes (i was uber cool) and carried out grunge to a tee and I still became Valedictorian of that school. Born Leader.
