Hey sports fans, ready to see how you should live your life my way?

WELCOME TO BRICKWORKS!

Next time colleague please remind me to shine it up a bit, I spaced on the fact that this is elitist commune mecca. Luckily I grabbed that scarf on my way out, Slob Chic, THAT’S what’s up now!

Under eye bags photo trick – show the eyes but cut off/obscure at moonbeams. I may flirt with the idea of a work shop for little raymis. My trade secrets. We will cover everything.

Is that a cabbage? I think so.

Mini elevated hills just covered in evergreens, I was annoyed colleague didn’t capture all of it. I am the director too here. I made a funny David Suzuki joke too, he’s gonna be at the picnic I’m going to next weekend, not next one but THE NEXT. I have a major (big) one for David Suzuki. Another national treasure. I waved my hand across all of the evergreens magically and proclaimed in mock-brickworks grounds tour guide speak NOW WHAT HAPPENED HERE WAS DAVID SUZUKI WAAAAVED HIS HAND ACROSS THE LANDS AND FORTH SPRUNG A MIGHTY FIELD OF NEW GROWTH. Gahahah It was a very fun day, I ended up scaling a Trojan horse for crying out loud.

I love bantering with merchants. I feel like you have to be a marginal amount of looney baloonies to rock it Gypsy-like in the open stall markets. Her sweaters were $48. Vintage. Look brand new, I was like, how did they survive! She’s like well, there are quilts in museums…good point (Colleague lets get the heck out of here before I buy one for my niece).

OMG we are doing the same facial expression. All women turn into the Shire if they’ve blue blood in ‘em. ACK!

Holy toledos. It’s warm even though it’s open. I know what I’m wearing to the gala. GUESS! GUESS! PLEASE! I am bursting at the seams I cannot keep secrets!

How do I manage to look like a platinum Ramone? It’s the nose right and the beatle face smile?

That’s my tomboy gait. The Fred Perry kids were like, that golf shirt looks amazing on you, not all girls can pull it off as it’s a men’s. I said that’s cos I have tomboy in my veins. Here I am sampling a weird white tomato thing. Tasted like a cherry, was called one in fact but then I realized it was TYPE of a tomato not a weird little snozzberry. I think she thought I was stupid or something.

The counsel meeting regarding game plan strategy about the party I imagine. I suggested army figurines and one of those Casino rakes for craps tables and push armies around. Someone remind me when EMPIRE RAYMI is built to do that at our team meetings and I will need art from Angelo to build a mini UN vibe.

We took off while the brick chicks worked so I could work the grounds and learn it.

Haha that kid back there. Kids are so monkies.

Lots of posing, lots of people watching, lots of lots of hangover hollywood, couples doing the thing, the Saturday afternoon thing.

I got five hours sleep. I forgot my brother and Linda were coming into town.

Southern Ontario WHAT WHAT! Doesn’t that make you think of African Lion Safari? No just me?

Those are all actual rivers, water is running through from actual rivers all leading to brickworks is that right? Ha Colleague is going to have a lot of copy cleaning up to do. Whatever man there are 200 photos here to work with. Hang tight. The Mayor may also be at this party. I don’t know if I am supposed to be saying this or not.

I liked the tropical rustic beauty. There is art all over Brickworks. They are 8 years old and work with the old, cross it with some new and voila, party central. Great to have a place like this just touching the city and Celebrity chefs everywhere abound too.

I found the tiniest cute thing in this Labyrinth playground. Oh so cute.

Speaking of wizards, don’t I look like one?

Bricks everywhere. Brick flowing rivers beneath bridges, I noticed. (so many clever things to notice).

Hippie heaven haven. It truly is like Wizard of Oz, see the flowing brick rivers in the distance?

Yo take a picture of this so I can make fun of it later. I actually really dig it.

Dude do something with all that wood, clean up that pile of wood! OK I KNOW! Arlene told me it’s a christmas tree. Cool. I picture it burning at burning man or at the cottage when you run out of firewood. We’ve burnt entire picnic tables. Then you wake up with no furniture and someone always gets a little grouchy about it. HA.

There’s a little pilgrim cowboys and indians style village for witches thing, I mean for your children to play on (it’s awesome dump them there then go shopping) on the other side and check out that gigantic purple daisy coming out of the wall. I swear I thought I was hallucinating throughout this tour but am glad there are pictures to show that I wasn’t and that I didn’t eat the Alice in Wonderland mushroom.

This leans at the exact angle of the leaning tower of Pisa.

Tiny humour is amazing. If Jackass can do it then I can too.

Doing this with a crowd and colleague, I am a happening.

Kids and people markings everywhere. Time pieces. I like.

ol Aunt Raymbo had a message for visiting folks from other planets too.

I’ll speed this up.

Always self-promote.

Yeah exactly.

I got those to piss off my brother (he had the same oxbloods) so I’ll wear them at Saturday’s 90’s reunion party to piss him off more, plus my Fred Perry shirt. I need to get suspenders. Going to be hype. I’ll get the whole town drinking the raymi kool-aid then throw a bash for them in Toronto sometime. Sometimes we have to go back to our peoples to find out who are. That is a Native proverb I just invented ahahaha. I set a goal for myself to force a joke beneath each photo I post in this blog feature in order to stay sharp on my comedy cos Ben Miner is going to help me prepare for my stand-up comedy debut. Fully serious. the more insane and terrifying and thrill-seeky the activity I engage in, the better the outcome of it. My body just started violently shaking when I started typing about stand-up.

It’s true.

To be Continued…

Almost gave that onesie away on permanent loan cos I was like, there is no way I am going back down in size to a shrunken 2, the time I bought it the zero also fit me so yeah, but, looky-loo how’doya do?

Our walk to Mezzrow’s for our first patio date together ever was straight ridiculous. As was our patio antic entertaining for the regular rummies. Teacher met up then we went for a Bison burger waiting for it on the patio of Stampede and proper saw a store walker take down of a shoplifter, yikes the look in his eyes, was moments prior watching him chat up his friends, who then got to see him get busted. I cringed ten jillion times and got our burger to go.

Stella got to play with Al’s dog Quinty. I didn’t want to take Stella out cos I know of her neurotic deficiencies but Al has ancient dog wisdom, I have zero, his dog is famous in pdale, so he was like it’s fine it’s fine bring her. NO not fine. I was, ok this is going to be TMI but, I had a tampon emerg and knew STella would be dragging me the entire time totally flipped out. There would be Parkdale obstacle course chess pieces in form of lunatics and derelicts that jump out of shop doors like a funhouse ride, I needed to get to a pharmacy and get to Mezzrow’s but go the back way and do they let psychotic dogs come in to stores with you? The way I have always done it is just bring her in. Sometimes I actually pretend to be blind (I have a blind fan who reads this so I am sure he will be pumped about that haha hi bud!) and it gets funny when I start reading things off big bags of chips BLIND ACT OVER.

So we get there, it all worked out. But then she tried to nose her way on to the patio 300 times. I don’t think dogs were bread with patio beering in mind but maybe they were, I feel like a lot of their lineage is britishly-linked and Stella is a border collie blue healer which i envision (do you like how all my facts are based on feelings and beliefs rather than factual fact? Ahahahah YES I TELL YOU WHAT THE F-ING NEWS IS TODAY) revolves around tiny towns with moors and pubs and cable-knit sweaters so, Stella’s great great great grandma-ma sat on the cobblestones of the McMaster Arms back in her time while her owner cradled his pints. All we do is watch big brother uk now so I am learning all kinds of new accents to fake. I love how Tara Reid is talking like them too, one part based on premature dementia and one part just the nature of acting.

Always loved this house.

I had to go have a relax on the patio cos yesterday I worked non-stop on all projects presently on deck. Get someone who is already busy to do something for you and they will get it done. Throw it in their cyclone but not only that I have no other choice, all projects need a lot of love in the building stages however, I had done enough and it was absolutely gorgeous out and I got in this line of work to set my own damn hours and damnit It was time to take a walk. We are pushing our luck with these sunshiney warmish days and I have SAD plus it was the red tide, I deserve a break why do I feel guilty (somewhat) even while “relaxing” my mind is chomping through mental workish data, all the writing I have to do. Blah who cares. I was so going to wrap this up but then I wanted to add one more picture which turned into ten more so, yeah.

I like how my toasted marshmallow hat matches my hair, it reminds me of Pamela Anderson’s furry hat. I like how she told that posh guy (bbuk) to stop hunting foxes, and BAD SPORT. She is such a lady. All I do is talk about big brother uk now and apply every single life situation to it, I use it to justify my shitty behaviour as well as to defend it, I use big brother examples hereto and sunder and now I am talking like them too. It’s hilarious and bringing back my time in England and how absurd it is that it’s normal for them to talk like babies about wanting cuddles and such. Also I first ever watched big brother while in England and the addiction to it as a Nation, it’s pandemonium, Beatlemania-esque and I got to experience it so watching it now helps me regress back to 17 again on that couch in Wimbledon. At night I’d smoke cigs on the drive and step on huge snails, they’re everywhere and massive. SICK. I started wearing flip flops after the first time.

Then we were lying in bed, silent for ten minutes, and I pick up right where I had left off downstairs in the kitchen about Aden or some’ingk (That’s Newcastle accent, Jay is a Jordy boy and talks like that aghh get out of my head!!)

But I am actually getting pretty good at it so I’ll have a full-blown proper fake accent ready for you in about a week. Right in time for Oktoberfest, which would actually require a German accent. Ugh. Teacher tricked his kids the other day and didn’t tell them there wasn’t a difference between a German and Austrian accent. Hahaha.

He shows some of these pics to his colleagues. One guy shakes his head and repeats IT’S NOT FAIR. ahahahaha.

Ok that’s enough fussin’ about. ps. CHECK OUT Mykel’s Etsy. Get your little ghoul a necklace like I got my Hailey one. BOO!

LESLIE I WILL MAIL YOU THAT PAINTING I SWEAR You know my style.

We were having a belt buckle battle.

I think mine wins.

Hahah omg. Couldn’t even wait a sec before the close up, check the gooey cheese over there on my side plate. It wasn’t pretty.

Because it was beautiful. Ordering it was funny, hi, we’ll have the sweet potato fries poutine, except not sweet potato fries, and no beef, plus a side of sour cream (which never came, though I asked THREE TIMES!) but no complaints cos the sun was shining.

I kept forgetting I was wearing this cowboy hat (thanks alison!) but it was the perfect charmer at the caddy. I think it intimidated our servers, they divided to conquer us and ended up screwing up lots. I wasn’t even mean at all (never am).

Do you want to talk about my hip bones?

ok fine, maybe later then. omg so busy gahhhhhhhhhh explode explode!

adorable cheese. life is short.

I am writing burlesque notes for my several upcoming shows. I’d like to do a photoshoot soon too with Jasmine Valentine. Just you wait for what I am cooking up. First, we were promoted to saturday on HALLOWEEKEND now (I made that word up last night) so the date has changed to OCTOBER 29. We will open the show to this song:

I am loling to this now. I know the entire film, every word, lyric. I was a nerd at one point.

bewb watch.

Pear mojitos, skinny. Pearjitos. I am trying to get kate moss tiny. My stress mania is helping in spades.

You know I am a genius, right?

SO much so that I got us mad ballerz a vip sushi drop in. Mad ‘spect Umami. I was just talking about how I would so totally entertain in a teahouse like memoirs of a geisha. Put it on the to do list before 30 thank you. Maybe I’ll do a dance to gorillaz white flag. I think we had decided that I would. I also have a ninja costume. PERFECT!

And then we can copy kim cattrall sex and the city movie sequel (trying to track down that post when I saw it in theatre with meredith and all of toronto’s female media, it was so fun) waiting on valentine’s day all night long for her boyfriend with sushi all over her naked body.

Next up, Arlene and I discuss mole people and ecosystems. I love getting involved with sustainability modern new agey do gooder stuff makes me feel good. More people should do it. Turns out, they are! Love this inspiring slogan:

Inspired by the Past, Motivated by the Future.

I will also be telling you all about a mega party with ANDY MILONAKIS!!! I am getting involved with to take a break from all that charity. (PLEASE DONATE TO MY CN TOWER TEAMMATE I’M THE AMBASSADOR FOR/ALONG WITH!) At the moment I am trying to do thrice the work in half the time and it is making me a billion per cent lethal. I need to go for a run before I go bananas.

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